Неудивительно, что все больше родителей и профессионалов проявляют интерес к теории личностного развития, основанного на привязанности (теории привязанности), разработанной Гордоном Ньюфелдом. Ведь именно она объясняет, насколько важны для психологического благополучия и успешного личностного развития ребёнка тёплые отношения с теми, кто за него в ответе и заботится о нём. С кратким описанием модели развития, основанного на привязанности, можно ознакомиться в брошюре Г. Ньюфелда

В данной книге рассматривается разрушительное влияние на взаимоотношения взрослых и детей, которое оказывает конкурирующая привязанность к сверстникам, когда ребёнок начинает прислушиваться к своим друзьям больше, чем к родителям, когда друзья становятся непререкаемым авторитетом, а родители рассматриваются исключительно, как помеха в жизни и источник денег.

Ньюфелд доказывает, что в силу своей незрелости дети не способны заботиться друг о друге, обеспечивать пространство для личностного роста и безусловное принятие. А ведь именно в этом состоит главная задача взрослых – дать своему ребёнку ощущение надёжной и безопасной привязанности, ощущение, что он находится под надёжным крылом родительской любви, где ему не страшны никакие невзгоды. Автор уверен, что отношения должны занимать центральное место в воспитании детей. «Не важно, что вы делаете или не делаете, важно какие у вас отношения с ребёнком», – говорит Гордон Ньюфелд.

В примерах, приводимых автором, речь в основном идёт о подростках, но, безусловно, сам подход применим к детям любого возраста.Поэтому, чем раньше родители ознакомятся с книгой, тем вероятнее они смогут избежать ошибок, о которых потом придется сожалеть, и для решения которых потребуется больше сил и времени.

Главное достоинство книги в том, что автор не только описывает проблему, но и предлагает эффективные стратегии и подходы к налаживанию и сохранению взаимоотношений между родителем и ребёнком. Это является долгожданной альтернативой многим книгам и публикациям о родительстве, пропагандирующим применять к детям поведенческие техники контроля, напоминающие дрессуру. Ньюфелд помогает родителям восстановить свою природную интуицию, отказаться от неоднозначных практик тайм-аутов или использования в воспитательных целях того, что дорого детям, против них. Ведь руководствуясь этими советами, многие родители уже поняли, что они очень хорошо работают в короткой перспективе, но наносят огромный урон отношениям.

Книга впервые вышла в Канаде в 2004 году и в течение нескольких недель стала национальным бестселлером. С тех пор, помимо русского, она была переведена на французский, немецкий, испанский, венгерский, португальский, японский, корейский, шведский, норвежский и голландский языки. Первое издание книги на русском языке состоялось в 2012 году, и тираж закончился в первые же месяцы. Это подтверждает не только распространенность проблемы отчуждения подростков, но и осознание родителями важности сохранения отношений с детьми с самого раннего возраста.

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