Loe raamatut: «The Surgeon's Baby Secret»

CHAPTER ONE

WAS SHE RUNNING away from her problems? Yes—and who could blame her? Erin thought as she ventured farther up the hills that comprised Arthur’s Seat. Was it working? No. Her trip across the Atlantic to Edinburgh had done nothing to change her circumstances or block the thoughts and feelings that had been tormenting her. The message that had awaited her at hotel check-in had confirmed that.

She looked around her at the lush greenery of the hills, the blue of the sky and the distant sparkle of the ocean. It was breathtaking, even with the signs warning of the dangers of severe wind gusts. She wished everything in life could come with such warnings. Then maybe she would have seen the hidden danger that had been disguised as her dreams coming true.

Erin stopped to catch her breath and smiled ruefully to herself. She felt as if she spent every day running from one delivery to another as an obstetrics resident, but maybe she wasn’t as fit as she’d thought, as she took in another deep breath. She looked up the path and saw a bench and made her way toward it. Maybe this hadn’t been her best idea. She hadn’t even dressed for a hike, her gray blazer and heeled boots a poor choice for any athletic pursuit. But this hadn’t been her plan. Nothing had been her plan. But another message from her now ex-husband had pushed her into the open air before she had even set sight on her hotel room.

She felt another wave of anger pass through her just as another gust of cold wind hit. She wanted to still be angry with him. Anger, indignation, hurt, she had felt them all when the truth had first come out, but now all those emotions she had once felt toward Kevin Dufour, her newly ex-husband, had long ago burnt out and had been replaced by disappointment in herself.

She reached back into the pocket of her blazer and pulled out the printed message that had interrupted her attempt at escape.

Erin—Divorce finalized. I think we can agree that you don’t belong at Boston General. Kevin

Was he right? Was it worth having to deal with the aftermath of Kevin to stay where she loved to work? Damn, she was doing it again, letting someone else make her doubt herself. Why was she so weak? How had she been so naive?

She felt the gust as she watched the note slip from her hands and tumble down the slope. Instinctively she lunged for it, not wanting Kevin’s cruel words to sully the beauty of the landscape surrounding her.

He watched, as if in slow motion, as the woman jumped from the steep hilltop over the edge. For a split second he froze before he sprinted to the spot where he’d last seen her. In the short time before he got there he prepared himself for what he might find and felt relief at the sight of her holding onto the last small outcropping of rock before the hill’s cliff. He couldn’t make out much of her face as she hugged her body close to the almost vertical ground beneath it, but he saw her tremble with fear. “Don’t move,” he yelled down to her.

But she did move, her head tilted only slightly to look back up at him, and once again he felt shock at what he was seeing. She was both young and beautiful. Her shoulder-length dark blond hair was being flung around her face as the wind continued to battle with her. Through the wisps of hair he could make out the beautiful large eyes that stood out even more against the pallor of her complexion. He was sure that he would never forget the way this woman was looking at him right now, at this moment.

“Stay still,” he reminded her, not wanting to be a distraction to her.

“I’m scared,” a small voice came back to him.

He wasn’t surprised. Even though he had watched her willingly throw herself from the hilltop it was normal to have last-minute regrets. He needed to keep her calm and establish trust between them. “I know. I’m going to get you out of there. What’s your name?”

“Erin.”

“Okay, Erin. My name is Ryan and I’m going to help you.”

How could he appear so calm and confident? She was literally on a ledge, facing death. Just as she had been reaching for the message a large gust of wind had blown it—and her—over the cliff. If she had thought she had hit rock bottom before, she had been wrong. This was truly it. She had let Kevin’s words literally drive her over the edge, and for what? What did it matter? What did he matter? Nothing that had come before this moment mattered except she had never wanted a second chance more than she wanted one now.

She looked up again toward the reassuring voice from above. The sun was shining brightly and she was too afraid to move any further, so all she could take in was the man’s muscular silhouetted outline. It immediately instilled confidence in her and she felt some of her fear dissipate. If anyone could help her it was this man.

She watched as he lowered himself to the ground, lying prone, hanging his head and shoulders over the cliff’s edge. He extended one long muscular arm toward her. “Erin, when you are ready I want you to reach up and take my hand.”

“I can’t.” The idea of letting go of any of her grip on the limited ground beneath her was impossible.

“Yes, you can, Erin. Trust me.”

It was an even more impossible request. She didn’t trust anyone, not even herself. “I can’t.”

“You can’t stay where you are forever. Reach up and take my hand.”

He was right. She had no options. Still, she couldn’t help but marvel at the complete lack of frustration in his voice. When was the last time someone had been patient with her? Or even acknowledged her feelings? Trust? She had sworn against that. But right now she had little more to lose so she took a deep breath and reached out her hand. The moment her arm was fully extended she felt his hand pass hers and grip strongly around her wrist; instinctively she did the same. Then, as if she weighed nothing, she was being lifted until he could grasp her under her shoulders and they both went tumbling toward the ground.

But instead of the ground, she landed on him and felt herself being raised and lowered with his breath, her body lax against his firmness. She was too dazed to move as she took in everything that had just happened. He had saved her, this man, Ryan. Ryan, who appeared to have Herculean strength. Ryan, who smelled like a combination of sunshine and sweat. Ryan, whose whole body she was in contact with.

She rolled herself to his side and for the first time got a good look at the man who had saved her. He was more impressive up close. He was tall and there was no muscle on his body that wasn’t defined. His black tech running shirt and blue shorts showed off the golden bronze of his skin. His hair was a light brown and he had a scar that extended from above his deep blue eyes toward his thick cropped hair. She could see at least one tattoo revealing itself from the short sleeve of his left arm.

“Are you okay?” His voice cut through her mental inventory of his assets.

Was she? No, but that wasn’t what she wanted to say and likely not what her hero wanted to hear. “Yes.”

“Are you disappointed?” he asked, his voice softer than before.

Disappointed? Had he sensed her evaluation? Truth be told, he was the first man she had felt attracted to in over a year and his raw sex appeal and heroism left little room for disappointment.

“No,” she answered, embarrassed.

“Good,” he replied, appearing relieved. He deftly sprang to his feet and then reached out a hand, which she took, and he helped her do the same. He was tall, her head coming up only to the top of his shoulders as she had to tilt upward to look at him.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t saved me.” She heard her voice tremble at the end, the direness of her previous circumstance even more apparent now that she was out of it.

“I’m just happy you wanted to be saved. Now, let’s get out of here before the wind picks up.”

She was shocked when he reached out to take her hand. So shocked that she didn’t pull away, not that she could have even if she had wanted to. His grip was as tight as it had been when he had pulled her up. It was as if he was locking her beside him and didn’t want her to get away. She should have felt fear. This man, Ryan, was a stranger, but instead she felt taken care of. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt in a very long time and she was in no hurry to lose it. So instead she followed his lead and walked with him toward the base of the hillside.

“You’re American.” He finally broke their silence after several minutes.

“Yes.” And she realized from his accent that he must be, too.

“What brings you to Scotland?”

“I’m running away from the disaster my life has become. You?” She almost gasped as she realized the answer that had run through her mind at high speed had also escaped from her mouth.

“Work.” He answered as though her response had been completely normal and she welcomed his tact.

“What do you do?”

“I’m in the military.”

“That explains it.” She covered her mouth with her free hand. What was wrong with her? What was it about this man that made her lose her ability to filter? She turned her focus from the path ahead to look at him and was met with a similar appraisal.

“Explains what?” He had stopped and she felt his blue eyes question her more strongly than his words had.

“I just meant that …” Was it that he was the only man with scars and a tattoo that she had ever found sexy? Or that his bravery and strength in saving her had seemed so effortless it wasn’t surprising he was a professional hero?

“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself.” He began walking again and she followed, still linked with him. Time went by as they made their way toward the hill’s base and she marveled at how comfortable the silence was between them.

“It’s a beautiful country.” His words finally broke through.

“Yes, it is,” she agreed, more comfortable with the neutral territory their conversation had achieved.

“Have you ever been here before?”

“No, but I feel like I have. My father grew up here and when I was little he would tell me stories from his childhood or sometimes just about this faraway country with princess castles and green grass and blue ocean as far as the eye could see.”

“I’m not sure the Scottish would take well to having a strong part of their heritage referred to as ‘princess castles.’” She looked back toward him and he was smiling. If she had thought he was handsome before, now he was devastating. She was shocked by the powerful wave of attraction his smile evoked and had to check herself against those feelings. Fortunately they had reached the end of the path, a natural place to say goodbye. She let go of his hand and was surprised by the feeling of loss. All the more reason to get away now before she let her attraction make her life more complicated.

“Thank you again.”

“I’ll walk you back to your hotel.”

She wanted him to, but knew better. “Thanks. But I’m okay from here. I can find my way.”

She knew he was going to argue with her so she didn’t give him the chance. Instead she turned and headed toward her hotel and never looked back at the kindest, most handsome man she had talked to in years.

She looked nothing like Sabrina but she reminded him of her nonetheless. Both women were beautiful, but that wasn’t the similarity that was troubling him. It was the look in her eyes that brought back familiar haunting memories. At first those large round eyes that he’d later learned were a deep blue had just seemed scared, but after she had been returned to safety their depth of emotion had changed from fear to sadness. A sadness he had seen in his sister Sabrina’s eyes years ago and which had set off warning bells in his head—not that she hadn’t already rung those bells hard by leaping off the hill’s edge. What would she have done if he hadn’t been there? Would she have followed through with her intention and let go?

He physically recoiled at the thought of losing her and stopped in his tracks. How could he already feel a connection to this woman he barely knew? Most people would blame the dramatic nature of their encounter, but truthfully, to him, that drama had been minor. He was a military trained physician and for the past five years had had a decorated career as a trauma specialist. Pulling a beautiful woman to safety was a nice day at the office compared to the horrors he had witnessed.

It must be the emotional resemblance to Sabrina. The first time he’d seen that look in Sabrina he had missed it. He had been away for too long and hadn’t noticed the sadness in his little sister’s eyes. His role as a big brother had circumvented his role as a physician and he’d missed all the warning signs of depression his sister had been experiencing. She had been thinner than he’d remembered, with dark rings of fatigue under her eyes. She had rarely smiled and when he had tried to arrange activities to cheer her up, she had gotten no pleasure out of things that had previously made her happy.

Classic depression, and he, her big brother, the physician, had missed it and had just thought she’d been heartbroken and would get over it. That she had been better off. But in the end that hadn’t mattered. Instead, Sabrina had suffered for over a year before she’d hit rock bottom and he had never stopped blaming himself. He should have been there for her. He should have recognized the signs and gotten help for her earlier. He had failed her. He hadn’t protected her from the man who had broken her heart and he hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed help to be put back together.

The thought monologue snapped him back to Erin. She had thanked him for saving her. He wished that it was enough to reassure him. Hadn’t Sabrina always smiled politely through her pain? The one thing he was certain of was that this was not their last encounter. Was it a sense of responsibility he felt to her? Intrigue at the cause of her sadness? Or the fact that she smelled of wildflowers and had felt soft and right pressed against him. At this point it didn’t matter, his mind was made up. This was not the end of their story, it was merely the beginning.