Loe raamatut: «Return To Passion»

To my husband, Isaiah Buchanan, who constantly teases me about my love for words but never asks me to stop writing them. Thanks for all you’ve done in helping me reach my goals. I love you!

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

Title Page

About the Author

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Epilogue

Copyright

Chapter 1

Camille Ryan swung her desk chair around, not wanting to look at the computer screen one moment longer. She’d been in a state of mini writer’s block all day long. She was stuck on this one scene and she didn’t know why since she knew exactly where she wanted the story to go. Why was she so off tonight? Something was niggling at her and she couldn’t seem to focus on anything, especially not writing. She was having one of those feelings you get when you know something is wrong, you just don’t know what that something is.

Camille had often had feelings that she knew were something more, maybe a keener women’s intuition, but ignored them. Her father said that it was her intuition telling her something; she just had to figure out what it was. According to her father, her mother had been the same way. Camille wondered if it was the truth since she’d never had a chance to meet Elaine Ryan. Her mother had died during childbirth and it had been her and her father ever since. Well, it used to be, until Camille had moved to New York when she was eighteen years old. She and her dad weren’t as close as they used to be. It was only natural, she figured. After all, she couldn’t take care of him forever, though she probably would’ve stayed closer to home if she had not gotten the internship in New York or hadn’t been trying to do the right thing by the people she loved the most... Well, she wouldn’t think about that situation right now. It was buried long ago so there was no need to bring old feelings of guilt bubbling to the surface.

An hour after trying and failing to type something on the page, Camille quit working. It was no use. She couldn’t write erotic romance while wayward thoughts invaded her mind. She decided to call her father to check on him and make sure everything was okay. She’d talked to him the day before and knew he had a doctor’s appointment today. The only conclusion Camille kept coming to was that he’d gotten bad news. She was so in tune with the man that she could sense the bad news deep down in her gut. That had to be what was bothering her. Her father had told her that it was just a routine checkup, but that didn’t mean anything. On a few of those occasions she’d had to find out from other family that her father had gone to the hospital. It had hurt Camille that she had not been there for her father. It had hurt her even more that he hadn’t told her, making her feel like she wasn’t a good daughter. But she knew it was her father and his irrational logic. He had this crazy idea that not telling her things protected her. In fact, it only worried her.

The worrying intensified and her chest tightened when she tried calling him now. The phone just rang and rang. On the fourth call, the line connected to his voice mail immediately. Camille wasn’t sure what was going on, but she knew something was wrong so she dialed her cousin. The news she got had her up and off her bed in a flash, throwing clothing haphazardly into suitcases and trying to make reservations at the same time.

* * *

Tired was a mild word to describe the way her body felt when Camille walked through Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport in search of the baggage-claim area. She was cursing under her breath because each and every time she flew back here, the airport got more and more confusing.

It had been some years since she’d been to her hometown and even then it had been a quick visit where she had to sign some papers and then leave for an engagement or meeting she couldn’t miss. And all the other visits before had been similar. Camille did not like running into people when she went home. Nor did she like hiding from everyone. They had an idea in their heads about who she was and she never wanted them to find out she wasn’t the innocent little girl she’d been when she was simply “daddy’s girl” in her hometown of Fairdell, Georgia, and she wasn’t the evil girl who’d left so abruptly for her own selfish reasons.

Her reasons for leaving Fairdell hadn’t been selfish; rather they’d been selfless. Her reasons were one thing, but her secret was the kind that people in her tiny Bible-belt town wouldn’t appreciate. So Camille had chosen to stay away. She didn’t need their judgment. Plus, she didn’t need to run into the one person who could possibly break her down and make her stay around. He’d see right through her. He’d make her want to tell him the truth—admit why she couldn’t stay in Fairdell with him when they’d made plans—and he wouldn’t approve of her reasons, especially since she’d left without talking to him first.

No, she couldn’t see Remington Krane.

* * *

Remington rose from the ergonomic swivel chair and rubbed his hand down the stubble on his caramel-colored face. He knew he wouldn’t shave, though. He kept this slight bit of facial hair because of her. She’d always said he looked good with the bit he had as a teen and even though they weren’t together any longer and it had been years since he’d seen her, he still liked knowing that she’d appreciate the beard if she saw it.

She’d never come back to see it, though.

And why did he care what she thought? He shouldn’t. He didn’t. The girl—who was undoubtedly a woman now—was not what should be on his mind right now. She’d been out of his life for ten years. She’d chosen to leave him even when they’d made plans and had talked about the dreams they’d share and the future they’d have. He’d waited two years for her to graduate from high school so they could make their plans a reality, only to have her abandon him.

He’d been in love. They’d both been in love as two teenagers could be.

He’d been in college and had already started working for his grandfather as he waited for her. The plans were set. She would teach at the local high school. He’d work for his grandfather’s company and one day he’d take over. Eventually he’d take his career even further by getting elected to political office: his influence, conservative nature and religious beliefs would be sure to help him along. They’d be the ideal couple everyone admired. That was the plan, but she’d changed it on her own and never bothered to let him know. That was what confused him most of all. It was so abrupt and unlike Cam—

Stop doing this to yourself, Remi.

Remington knew she was in his head because of the news he’d heard earlier about her father. Reese Ryan was too humble and hardworking for his own good. He never said no to anyone and took care of others before he took care of himself. He’d always been that way.

Remi once thought the landscaper was indestructible, the type who could work from sunup to sundown in ninety-degree weather. However, having an eighty-percent blockage in the heart valves would slow any man down and Remi only hoped the man would heed the doctor’s advice and take care of himself.

But he doubted Mr. Ryan would be able to do so on his own for a while, which meant Camille would soon be in town. She’d come home a few times over the years but she’d never taken the time to visit anyone. She had not even visited her best friend often, not that he minded too much since her best friend was a guy.

Camille Ryan may have been twenty-eight and all grown-up now, but he’d always known her to be daddy’s little girl. She loved her father endlessly and she wouldn’t just breeze through town for something so serious. She’d stay around for a while, and Remington planned to use that time to his advantage. He’d get answers as to why she’d left. He needed to know why she’d chosen New York over him when she’d never mentioned a desire to live there. If she’d just told him, he would’ve supported her and they could’ve figured something out. They could have—

He stopped his racing thoughts. First things first. He had to get some work done if was going to acquire this plot of land Krane Gourmet Snack Foods needed to expand and build their frozen foods division, or he’d have to deal with his ever-unsatisfied grandfather.

It was ironic to think of Camille and then think of his grandfather. Camille had tried her best to be nice to the man, but Frederick Krane was stubborn and set in his ways. Frederick had a vision of Remington’s future and it didn’t include Camille Ryan.

From the moment Remington had started dating, his grandfather had encouraged him to be more than just friends with the daughter of a local judge whose family had been a part of his life since Remington could remember.

The daughter, Sonya Brandt, had never been Remi’s type from the beginning. She was spoiled and selfish and entitled. There wasn’t anything down-to-earth about her. She had annoyed Remington with the way she’d acted as if they were a couple just because of their families’ expectations. But to please his grandfather, he’d let it go on for the most part, not really encouraging the girl or discouraging her. That was until a beautiful brown-skinned beauty had caught his eye and changed his world.

That memory made his thoughts return to her.

Camille Ryan.

The name still stirred something within him. They’d been mere teenagers when they were together but he knew from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her, with her glowing bronze skin, long thick hair and petite frame, that he’d be hooked for life. And he was. Despite time and distance, he still felt something for her and thought of her often over the years.

What would she do when she got to town? Would she seek him out? He doubted it. The girl he knew was not the type to renege on a decision so she’d probably stick by whatever reason had kept her away all these years. But she had reneged on a decision, hadn’t she? He couldn’t deny that, but his Camille was smart and he was sure if he heard her reason, he’d understand. The only conclusion Remington had been able to come to over the years was that Camille had changed her mind about him and their future and had been too afraid to tell him. He hoped that was the reason because he wasn’t sure how he’d handle it being anything else.

Are you still in love with her?

He ignored the question.

When Remington had confronted Camille’s father all those years ago, he hadn’t been any help either. The older man had told him nothing other than to respect her decision to change her mind. When he’d asked Mr. Ryan when she had changed her mind, he had told Remi that going to New York had always been her choice, but Remi would bet his life that wasn’t true. He wasn’t one to question his elders so he’d let it go. But Remington was sure Camille wouldn’t just make plans with him and then suddenly change them without telling him something first.

Reese Ryan and Camille Ryan were the best of friends as well as father and daughter. The man would never have betrayed her trust if she’d asked him to keep the truth a secret.

Remi had forced himself to talk to Camille’s best friend, Charleston Cobb, and while the man had not been very forthcoming, there were a couple details he had disclosed. Instead of returning to Fairdell to teach as she’d always planned, she’d chosen to stay in New York and teach at a private school of all things. As far as Remi knew, she still taught there. He’d also found out she was doing some sort of independent work. Teaching night classes or something, he guessed. That work was probably what had allowed her to pay off the mortgage on her father’s house. Charleston had never told him what that additional job was and he had a feeling that the man had been secretive on purpose to keep him guessing or prove he knew more about Camille than Remi. Charleston had been so proud of his friend that he’d slipped and told Remi the name of the lavish apartment building in which Camille resided. It was a piece of information that would help him out in the future.

Remington could admit that there was a possibility he didn’t know Camille at all—that he’d never really known her. However, that wasn’t something he could accept.

He had to redirect his thoughts.

Focusing on work was what he would do now. He needed to get the company lawyer into his office to talk details on the land acquisition, which was an exercise in patience since the attorney in question happened to be Sonya. She insisted on flirting with him every time they were in each other’s presence as if it were her right to do so. He’d told her he didn’t mix business with pleasure but Sonya apparently didn’t accept that explanation, believing she had a “special” place in Remi’s life—his future. One-sided thinking on her part. He’d fire her, but she was a damn good lawyer even though she’d only been practicing for a few short years.

When Sonya sauntered into his office, Remington rolled his eyes. He wondered why he’d ever given her any attention, but admitted it was at a time when he had been really vulnerable. But that was all Sonya had needed. She’d used their one time together nearly ten years ago as a stepping-stone to what they could have in the future. Though he’d told her he wasn’t interested in her, she insisted their union was best for them and their families, especially if he wanted to delve into the political arena as he’d always dreamed.

He agreed that her family had the influence to put him in office, but at what cost to his happiness? He didn’t love Sonya; in fact, he could barely tolerate her on most occasions. However, though Krane Gourmet Snack Foods was the epitome of a company that got ahead by sticking to the values it began with and by helping the community, he’d still need an extra push to get him elected. The Brandts could be that push, but being with Sonya would be in direct conflict with what Krane Foods stood for. There’d be nothing moral in trying to fool the good people of Fairdell by pretending to be in love with Sonya. He cared for the town and the people too much to lie to them and trick them into voting for him.

Remington liked to think he didn’t need such schemes to get him where he wanted, though he was sure his grandfather would disagree vehemently. He’d say Remington needed to think about the bigger picture and focus on happiness later. But there was a chance happiness had flown into town already and was walking around somewhere close. He doubted Frederick Krane would agree with that assessment of Camille’s arrival, but Remi was an adult and no longer a child trying to get the approval of his family. He had a feeling his grandfather would one day realize that what he wanted for Remi wasn’t necessarily what Remi needed.

Why he thought it would somehow all work out in the end was beyond him, but Remington was an optimist.

Chapter 2

Camille had finally negotiated the busy airport, found her luggage and gotten a rental car. She’d driven the hour to her hometown, going straight to the hospital and not bothering to stop by home. She’d been told her father had collapsed, flatlined and had to be revived. He’d been through a lengthy surgery to clear a blockage in his arteries overnight and couldn’t do much on his own right now.

The scene before her was so much worse and Camille now realized why her father had tried to keep her away on his previous trips to the hospital. Seeing him so helpless and defeated was something her mind couldn’t process fully. She only knew him as the man who rarely sat still because he loved being out and around his community and his landscaping business allowed him to do that.

Would he be able to continue at the pace he’d been going?

The easy answer to that was no.

And Camille would be around to make sure he took care of himself.

She only hoped he would allow her to take care of him.

Her cousin Augusta had told her over the phone that her father had been working long hours. The weather was too hot for even the healthiest, youngest person, let alone an almost fifty-year-old who’d suffered various ailments off and on over the years. Camille didn’t know why her father chose to push himself so hard. She’d offered to make his life easier by taking care of some of the bills, but he wouldn’t hear of such a thing. He’d told her that he was the one who was supposed to look after her, no matter her age, and she’d allowed him to do that for the most part. He didn’t know about her career and the comfortable life she’d been able to have since she’d started writing so he probably thought she was overextending herself on what he thought was a teacher’s salary. She’d had to go behind his back and pay off the mortgage on her childhood home, explaining away the money by saying she’d been doing some extra work outside the school. It had hurt her heart to lie to him, being that she was so proud of her writing career, but that’s the way it had to be for his sake.

Camille had left town for Reese Ryan just as much as she had for Remi. She had not wanted them to deal with the fallout once people in town found out about the erotic books she wrote. She had not wanted to ruin her father’s reputation or derail Remi’s future. Her father’s landscaping business was his life, just as Krane Foods and political aspirations were Remington’s. Her career as a writer of erotica hadn’t fit into normal, honorable, politically correct lifestyles ten years ago and it certainly did not now with all the success she’d acquired thus far.

But who knew... Maybe Remington was no longer the person she’d known—smart and loyal, with giant goals and a staunch moral compass. Maybe he was more like his grandfather, Frederick Krane. Maybe he’d changed and had let ambition and the need to be on top make him lax in his beliefs.

However, Camille couldn’t believe that at all.

Besides, now wasn’t the time to focus on Remington. Shaking away her thoughts, she gave all of her attention to her sick father and his recovery.

* * *

“Camille?”

She heard her name being called and turned to see her father attempting to sit up. She scrambled from her chair to fluff his pillows but he shooed her away with a scratchy, mumbled gripe. He muttered something about people not listening to him when he said not to call, but she ignored him and continued to help.

Camille stood next to her father’s bed and took his hand in hers. He looked a little ashen but okay otherwise now that he was sitting up. He was a tough man so she expected nothing less.

“How are you feelin’, Daddy?”

“Like I’ve been walking through the desert for days with no water, but I’ll be fine, Bug,” her father said using the nickname he’d given her as a girl. He’d not called her that in a long time and she smiled at the nostalgic feeling that warmed her upon hearing it.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy. I should’ve—”

“You should’ve what? There was nothing you could do. You think you being here would’ve stopped my heart from giving out? No, it wouldn’t have,” he said sharply and coughed. Camille gave him water and he drank greedily. She didn’t want him getting upset and she knew talk of what she should’ve or could’ve done would do just that.

“Daddy... I—”

“No. Listen to me.” The struggle it took him to talk was making Camille uncomfortable. She wanted to urge him to rest but she doubted he’d listen. “I did this to myself. I admit I haven’t been taking care of myself like I should. I could eat better and rest more. From now on I’ll do that. You don’t have to uproot your life for your old man, Bug.” Once those words left his lips, he started to cough again. A nurse finally came in and presented him with the Popsicle she said she’d promised him earlier. Camille laughed because it was clear that the woman was flirting with her father and he was flirting back.

After her father ate a little and had fallen asleep again, Camille went out to call her agent. She updated Anna Vinson on her father’s condition and gave her a rough estimate of when she expected to return. Anna wished her well and encouraged her to take a meeting or two while she was there, though Camille wasn’t sure if she’d be able to do so without hiring someone to help with her father. She often took meetings as a “representative” of Reese Elaine, her pen name, so no one would know she was the person behind the books. It was her way of keeping everyone protected and safe from her secret career.

Twenty minutes after her call, Camille sat in the cafeteria waiting for the home health nurse to meet her. Camille’s cousin Augusta had arranged the meeting because the woman was a friend of hers. Camille was sure this would be a formality since her cousin didn’t deal with unsavory, unreliable or un-Christian-like individuals. It was how most people in this town were, which was what had kept Camille at a distance over the years. A small Southern town where the Bible was law and any deviation was blasphemous was not somewhere she could see herself living out her dream.

A short talk with the nurse was all she needed to feel reassured about her suitability. Now she had the rest of her day ahead of her. She decided to call Augusta, tell her she’d hired the nurse and go get a nap in before she returned to the hospital that evening.

As Camille walked into the lobby, she heard the women at the desk talking. They weren’t trying to whisper and Camille was sure she heard her name followed by a couple insults. When she turned, one of the women she recognized as an ex-classmate gave her a sneer. Shrugging it off, Camille put the barbs behind her, knowing they were something she’d have to deal with because of her history with Remington Krane.

That was a name she tried not to think about, but she had to admit it was him every other thought had gone to since she’d found out about her father. She wondered if she’d see him while she was in town, if he even wanted to see her. She wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. She’d left him all those years ago and had not looked back. She’d done what she thought was best for herself and Remi, as well as her family and the town in general.

* * *

Remington knew Camille was in town. He knew because he’d heard the gossips talking about her when he’d gone to visit Reese Ryan. They’d been hard on her, which in turn had been hard for him to listen to despite his own need for answers about her departure.

The good news was that Reese Ryan was doing fine and would make a full recovery in a couple weeks. That was all that mattered to Remington because he was sure it was what mattered to Camille.

Now it was time to find the man’s daughter. But first he had to see his grandfather, who’d summoned him to his large estate.

“Have you moved on that property?” That was the first thing that passed Frederick Krane’s lips when Remi walked through the doors of the old man’s sitting room. Remington wanted to curse the man for being so insensitive, but you couldn’t teach an old dog new tricks, and his grandfather was the oldest dog of them all. He was set in his ways and didn’t much like Remi’s way of doing things. He said Remi wasn’t cutthroat enough and that would be his downfall. But the man had not hesitated to hand over the business to Remi when he became ill, knowing that despite his constant gripes, Remi had the right skills to run Krane Gourmet Snack Foods. In addition to that, Remi knew the old man loved him dearly, despite his disapproval.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how Reese Ryan is doing? He is a respected business owner in this town, Granddad.” Remington walked over to the chair facing his grandfather and sat down. “He is also a member of your church, a deacon and assistant superintendent of Sunday school. He’s a perfect representative of what Fairdell is about, plus he’s Camille’s father and—”

“It always comes back to her, doesn’t it? Boy, didn’t you get enough of her abuse when she left you here with your tail between your legs? You know that was the best thing that happened to you, right? The Kranes did not need to have any familial associations with the likes of the Ryans. They aren’t worthy of our time. God forgive me saying it but the Ryan girl is probably more suited for a good roll in the hay, maybe, but never more than that. You know where your future lies and it’s not with Camille Ryan.” He wiped his nose with a tissue but didn’t skip a beat. “And speaking of church, it’s about time for Krane to make its back-to-school donation. The mothers of the church have agreed to help give out supplies. I’ve volunteered you to help Sonya with making sure it gets done. Now Sonya, that is a hot little number and her family has the right connections. She’s the one you need in your life and for your future. Judge Brandt is a moral, God-fearing man who’s taught his daughter and son what it means to be successful. Long ago, her father and yours said you’d be together and I plan to honor your dad’s dying wish.”

Remington had heard this argument time and time again. He knew his grandfather didn’t like Camille because he thought her father’s job was beneath them. However, though Remi did not agree, he didn’t argue. His grandfather would surely have another heart attack if he got him too riled up. But one thing he would not let his grandfather do was tarnish his father’s memory.