Loe raamatut: «The Paternity Factor»

One

“I mean it, darling. What you need is one good woman.”

“Thanks for the suggestion, Mom,” Shane Wyatt said dryly. “If you knew how much I used to hope you’d say something like that when I was a teenager...”

Jessy Ross, cloaked in the shadow of the eaves as she swayed slowly back and forth on the porch swing, smiled. She knew she shouldn’t eavesdrop, but she couldn’t resist—that last comment was pure, vintage Shane.

Her amusement faded, however, as she continued to listen to the pair leaning against the deck railing. Although their backs were to her, their voices carried clearly on the light summer breeze.

“You can joke all you want, Shane, but this isn’t a laughing matter. With your father and me leaving for Minnesota next week, and not getting back until September, Chloe is going to need someone.”

“And like I told you yesterday,” Shane replied, “I’ve been checking out a new day care and lining up extra baby-sitters—”

“Which is precisely the problem.” A note of asperity crept into Helen Wyatt’s voice. “Chloe is only two, darling. She needs some continuity in her life, not a constantly changing roster of caregivers. I know you mean well, but I really think you need to consider finding someone to move in with you for the summer.” Helen’s voice suddenly softened. “I know it’s only been eighteen months since the accident, and it might feel strange at first to have a woman other than Marissa in the house, but for Chloe’s sake...”

There was a moment of dead silence; even from her vantage point Jessy could see that Shane’s big body had gone tight with tension. She watched as he rolled his shoulders, then rammed a hand through his thick black hair, obviously struggling for patience.

“Look, Mom,” he said finally. “I’ll think about it, okay? But it’s not as easy as you make it sound. Finding someone that both Chloe and I like, who doesn’t mind the isolation out at the lake... It’s just not that easy,” he repeated, his voice strained.

Jessy took a deep breath, peripherally aware of a number of things: snatches of conversation from the backyard party going on around them; the utterly trusting way little Chloe lay sleeping in her arms; the lingering aroma of charcoal-broiled steak wafting from the barbecue grill; the warmth of the June sun as it hovered above the western horizon.

More immediate was the sudden acceleration of her heartbeat as she heard herself say, “I could do it.”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then mother and son spun around, their expressions a study in contrasts as they caught sight of her sitting there. In a matter of seconds, Mrs. Wyatt’s face went from surprise to dawning delight.

Shane’s, on the other hand, was starkly unenthusiastic.

“Jessy?” Beneath straight black eyebrows, his pewter eyes were cool. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

Refusing to be daunted, she returned his stare. Although his features were the ones she’d always known—the straight, strong nose, the angular cheekbones, the stubborn chin—he didn’t look at all like the man she’d adored as a teenager. There was no amusement lighting those densely lashed eyes, no laughter lurking at the edges of that chiseled mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said evenly. “I probably should have said something when you first walked up, but I didn’t want to wake Chloe.”

His gaze dropped to her lap, a flicker of surprise—and something vaguely unsettling that she couldn’t identify—crossing his face as he belatedly noticed his daughter.

“I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she added.

To her relief, Helen Wyatt finally found her voice. “Don’t be ridiculous, dear. You were obviously here first. Besides, it isn’t important. What matters is what you said about taking care of Chloe. Did you mean it?”

“Of course she didn’t. Mom,” Shane said flatly. “I’m sure Jess has better things to do with her summer than baby-sit for me. She’s probably got plans to hang out, see her friends, work on her tan. Right, Jess?”

He made it sound as if she were a sixth-grade student instead of a sixth-grade teacher, Jessy thought with a touch of exasperation. Yet even so, for a moment as their eyes met, she felt herself transported back to a time when she’d been twelve and he’d been twenty and she would have done anything to please him.

Then Chloe gave a faint little sigh and shifted closer, her small body warm and boneless, and Jessy was abruptly brought back to the present. Even if his wife’s death hadn’t changed Shane, it had been a long time since the days when Jessy had been madly in love with her brother Bailey’s best friend. Despite what Shane seemed to think, she was no longer an awkward, impressionable adolescent. She was a grown woman of twenty-six who knew her own mind and who—thanks to him—had learned to trust her instincts.

And what her instincts were telling her, and had been for some time, was that something was terribly wrong in Shane’s life, something more than the normal grief of losing his wife, as bad as that was. Jessy couldn’t imagine what it could be, wasn’t even sure she was right, but if there was even the slightest chance she was, she wanted to help.

Before she had a chance to say so, Chloe stirred again, as if disturbed by the adults’ tension, and slowly opened her big blue eyes. She stared uncertainly up at Jessy and popped her thumb into her mouth.

“Hey, sweetie.” Jessy smoothed a springy golden curl behind one of the little girl’s shell-like ears. “Did you have a nice nap?”

The toddler nodded, then looked around, a tentative smile lighting her pixielike face when she caught sight of Shane. Extracting her thumb from her mouth, she struggled into a sitting position. “Dada?” she said hopefully, raising her arms to her father. “Get uppie?”

For an instant Shane didn’t seem to hear. Then he abruptly stirred to life. Stepping forward, he bent down and scooped the child up.

Jessy didn’t miss either that telltale hesitation or the faint shadow that darkened his face as Chloe gave a little sigh of pleasure and locked her arms around his neck. Although both reactions were gone in a flash, they were a further confirmation of all the niggling little misgivings that had been plaguing her for months.

It was one thing for Shane to erect a wall between himself and his friends and family. It was quite another for him to rebuff his own child, no matter how inadvertently.

The realization strengthened her newfound resolve. Enough that she didn’t hesitate when Helen cleared her throat and said, “Well, Jessy? What do you say? Do you have plans for the summer?”

Jessy forced her gaze away from Shane and his daughter. “No, I don’t. I meant it when I said I’d love to look after Chloe. And actually Shane would be doing me a favor. The condo I rent has just been sold, so this would give me a chance to take my time finding a new place. Better yet—” she leaned forward and smiled reassuringly at Chloe, who was clutching her father’s T-shirt in one small hand “—I think we’d have fun, wouldn’t we, pumpkin?”

The toddler nodded solemnly.

“It’s settled then!” Helen said brightly. She looked up at Shane. “Isn’t that wonderful, darling?”

Shane’s face looked carved from granite. “Wonderful.”

Ignoring his less than eager response, his mother gave him a cheery pat on the shoulder, then turned back to Jessy. “So, dear. How soon can you move in?”

Shane couldn’t believe it. He was thirty-four years old, the founder and CEO of TopLine Sports, a sporting equipment company that employed more than a hundred people and would make a multimillion-dollar profit this year alone. He owned his own home, he voted and paid taxes, he’d been married and widowed.

Yet as he stood in his front hall Sunday afternoon and watched through the screen door as Jessy Ross pulled her little red car into his driveway, he had to admit he was no match for his mother. She’d beat him fair and square a week ago when she’d pounced on Jessy’s babysitting offer and made it into a fait accompli.

That wasn’t why he was going along, however. He was doing this because his mother was right. Chloe did need more stability in her life. She’d been a secure, happy seven-month-old at the time she lost her mother. Now, a year and a half later, after two different day cares and at least a dozen different evening and weekend baby-sitters, she was often clingy and too quiet.

Yeah? And whose fault is that?

Shane’s mouth flattened out as guilt, familiar and irksome, plucked at him. Stubbornly he tried to ignore it; after all, it wasn’t his fault he had to work—or that there were certain... truths... he couldn’t seem to forget. Besides, it served no purpose. Bottom line, Chloe needed someone she could depend on, and though Jessy was only a temporary answer since she would go back to her teaching job in the fall, her stay would at least give him time to find someone permanent.

It wasn’t going to be easy having someone in the house, though. Sometimes he thought the only thing that had kept him sane the preceding year and a half had been his absolute insistence on his privacy.

He took a firm grip on his thoughts. The past was over and done. It had taken him a long time to work through feelings, to get past the grief and the rage that had nearly consumed him. Now that he’d finally reached a blessed state of indifference, he wasn’t about to jeopardize it by getting all worked up about this or anything else.

Besides, if he had to have his solitude invaded, there was a measure of comfort in familiarity. And Jessy was certainly that, he thought, observing her as she climbed out of her car. Like her older brother, she was tall, with cornflower blue eyes and the kind of skin that turned gold with just a little sun. Unlike Bailey, however, who was a gifted athlete with the sort of looks and laid-back charm that attracted the opposite sex the way honeysuckle drew bees, Jess had been a shy, gawky kid who’d worn braces and been prone to tripping over her long, skinny legs.

Now, dressed in a navy T-shirt and khaki shorts, with her straight, honey-colored hair caught up in a ponytail threaded through the back of a Mariner’s baseball cap, she looked the way she always had—leggy, boyish, unpretentious. Shane supposed if he had to have a female around, he should be grateful it was her. At least he didn’t have to worry about an unwanted attraction.

He watched as she reached into her car. Despite the distance, he could see the thing was packed to the roof with stuff. He sighed; she always had been a bit of a pack rat. When she emerged, however, the only thing she held was a gift-wrapped package. Nudging the door shut with one slim hip, she took a leisurely look around, her gaze sweeping slowly over his contemporary, singlestory house. Even as he told himself she couldn’t possibly see him, standing as he was in the shadows, her gaze locked right on him.

“Shane!” She tucked the package under one arm and started toward him. Faster than he would have believed possible, given her lazy, loose-limbed gait, she was suddenly standing on the other side of the door. “Hi.” Her gaze searched his face, and for a moment her blue eyes seemed slightly wary. Then she smiled. “Well? Are you going to ask me in?”

“I see you found the place.” He pushed open the screen.

She stepped past him into the cool, dim hall. “Yes. Your mom gives good directions.”

“She should. She’s been telling people where to go for years.”

The corners of her wide, full mouth quirked despite his sour tone. She looked around. “This is nice. How long have you—” she hesitated for a second as she glanced to her right into the sunken living room, which was, like the dining room beyond it, completely devoid of furniture “—lived here?”

He let loose of the door. Ignoring the questions he could see in her eyes, he started down the hall toward the combination family room-kitchen, gesturing for her to follow. “A year.”

“Ah.”

In sharp contrast to the hallway, the back of the house was bright with sunlight. Narrowing his eyes against the sudden glare, Shane headed for the breakfast bar, expecting Jessy to follow.

Instead she stopped a few feet inside the room to stare at the view beyond the trio of sliding glass doors that opened onto the big cedar deck. “Wow. I didn’t realize you were actually on the water. From the front of the house, you’d never guess. How beautiful.”

He glanced out indifferently, looking past the wide expanse of emerald lawn that ran down to the shores of Lake Winston. The lake’s tranquil waters sparkled in the afternoon sunlight, while in the distance the snow-tipped peaks of the Cascades stood sentinel against a powder blue sky.

He shrugged. “It’s all right.”

Again, her eyes sought his. But before he could identify the look in hers—sympathy? concern? distress?—she glanced away. Stung, and not sure why, Be wondered caustically what her reaction would be if he told her that at the time he’d bought the place, he’d simply been looking for something that didn’t remind him of Marissa.

Crossing his arms, he watched her examine the ultramodern black-and-white kitchen that occupied the area to their right, then check out the long, curved breakfast bar with its six chrome-and-leather swivel stools. Next, she switched her gaze to the family room area, which boasted a cathedral ceiling, a pale wood floor and a big stone fireplace. Although not lavishly furnished, it did have a fully functional entertainment center and an oversize black-and-white sectional sofa.

Her expression lightened as she caught sight of Chloe, who was sitting quietly on the floor in front of the TV, watching Beauty and the Beast on video. “Hey, Chloe. How’re you?”

The toddler glanced over. For a moment she looked uncertain, the way she so often did. Then she saw who it was and her face creased with a bashful smile. “Jeddy.” Clambering to her feet, she abandoned Wait Disney and toddled over to the end of the sofa, where her nerve suddenly ran out. She ducked her head and shyly regarded Jessy through her lashes.

“Guess what, sweetie?” Closing the distance between them in a few unhurried strides, Jessy sat down on the sofa, then lifted Chloe up and gently plunked the child down beside her. “I brought something for you. A present.”

The child’s eyes widened with surprise. “Fo’ me?”

“That’s right.” She laid the package in the little girl’s lap.

“Oh.” Chloe started to reach for the bright pink bow, then suddenly stopped. She looked up at Shane. “’Kay?”

Shane nodded, feeling the usual combination of guilt and helplessness at the little girl’s diffidence.

Reassured, she turned her attention back to the package. Biting her bottom lip with concentration, she carefully pulled off the bow, making a little sound of surprise when Jessy took it and stuck it on her head. She reached up to touch it, gave a quiet giggle, then went back to work, tearing at the paper. Suddenly her big blue eyes and her Cupid’s bow mouth both rounded. “Ohhh,” she said reverently, staring at the small, soft-bodied doll. “Baby.”

“I didn’t have a clue what she had for toys,” Jessy said softly to Shane as she took the baby doll out of its box and handed it to Chloe, “but I figured she could always use another doll.”

Shane shrugged, not about to admit that up until a moment ago he’d believed two was still too young for such things. “It’s fine,” he said gruffly, watching as the child very carefully touched one small finger to the doll’s closed eyes.

“Baby sleeping,” Chloe said solemnly.

Jessy turned her gaze back to the child. “Yes. Unless...” She tipped the doll upright, rewarded as its eyes fluttered open, prompting the child to give a little gasp.

“Ohh! Pwetty.”

Jessy’s face softened and she gave the toddler a gentle hug. “Yes, but not as pretty as you. What are you going to call her?”

For once, Chloe didn’t hesitate. Lifting her chin she said clearly, “Belle.”

“Mmm.” Jessy directed an amused look at the TV, then glanced over at him. “Figures,” she said conspiratorially.

Shane tensed. Not only didn’t he have the first idea what she was referring to, but for a second there, as he watched her warm, spontaneous interaction with Chloe, he’d been suddenly, starkly reminded of just what it was he’d lost.

Irritated—just what the hell was wrong with him?—he paced over to the window, struggling to get a grip on himself.

“Shane? Is everything okay?”

The quiet question jerked him around. “Yeah, of course,” he said brusquely. “I was just thinking there are some things we need to discuss.”

“Okay.” Settling deeper into the sofa, she crossed one long, slim leg over the other and waited.

He pushed away the last remnant of unwanted emotion and forced himself to concentrate. “First, what days do you want off?”

She looked surprised. “Gosh, I don’t know. I just got here. Can’t we play it by ear?”

He shook his head. “No. I need to know so I can make other arrangements.”

She bit her lip thoughtfully. “Well... Why don’t you plan on me taking care of Chloe at least through next weekend to start with, then? That way you don’t have to worry about making other plans, and I’ll have some time to see how things go. We can discuss it again after I have a better idea of what’s involved.”

Shane didn’t like it, but he could see her point. “All right.”

“Good.” She smiled. “What else?”

“Your salary. I’m not sure what you have in mind, but I thought maybe...twenty-five hundred a month?”

Her eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

“Make it three thousand, then.”

She made a low sound of protest and shook her head. “Shane—no.”

“No what?”

“Just...no. I appreciate the offer, but my teaching job pays me more than adequately during the summer. Besides, you’re doing me a favor, remember? Thanks to you, I’ve got a few months to look for a place to live.”

He stared at her earnest face, then realized he should have expected this. Jessy always had been a quixotic, kindhearted kid. She was the sort of person who cried over old movies, worried about stray puppies, championed the oppressed and defended the downtrodden. It was just like her to selflessly donate her time to an old family friend.

Except that he didn’t want her help—much less these little ripples of feeling she kept causing in him.

Yeah? Well, you’re not doing this for you, remember? You’re doing it for Chloe, so she can have some of the emotional security you’re incapable of giving her.

That didn’t mean he had to be here, however.

The realization brought him up short. He thought about it for a handful of seconds, then came to a sudden decision. “All right,” he said abruptly. “If that’s the way you feel.” Why argue about money? He’d simply decide on a sum and give it to her later. No doubt she’d be more inclined to take it once the reality of the situation caught up with her good intentions.

Besides, he was now anxious to move on to other things. “Look. Why don’t I show you where the phone list and the emergency kit are, then you can see your room and the rest of the house. That way I can help you get your car unloaded before I have to go.”

Jessy’s surprise was obvious. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah. I need to go into the office for a few hours.”

“Oh.” She gave him an indecipherable look, then slowly nodded. “I see. All right.” She stood and held out her arms to Chloe. “Come on, cupcake. You can keep us company while your daddy shows me around, okay?”

The toddler hesitated, clutching her doll to her chest. “Baby, too?”

Jessy nodded. “Baby, too.”

Chloe still didn’t move. Then, apparently suffering a belated attack of shyness, she scooted off the couch, scampered over to Shane and pressed herself against his legs. “Want Dada,” she mumbled.

“Chlo—” Shane remonstrated.

The little girl buried her face against his knees, refusing to look at either adult.

Shane stared down at her small blond head. Part of him wanted to lift her up and hold her tight, to breathe in her sweet baby scent and assure her that Daddy was there and everything was going to be all right.

And part of him wanted to step away.

“It’s all right,” Jessy said, misunderstanding. “Really.”

But it wasn’t. It was never going to be all right again, he thought savagely, clenching his jaw against a jab of self-disgust. Totally out of patience with himself, he reached down and swung Chloe up, settling her securely in the crook of one arm. “It’s okay, peanut,” he murmured. Raising his voice, he looked over at Jessy and said coolly, “I guess we’re ready.”

She nodded, but the questioning look he was already starting to hate was back in her eyes. “Okay.”

He glanced away. He was just tired, he told himself. He’d go to the office for a few hours, come home and get some sleep and tomorrow, or the next day, when the strangeness of the situation had worn off, he’d have himself back under control.

Not that it mattered. Because the truth was, he’d gladly give up his control, this house, even TopLine itself, if he could only go back to the time before he’d learned Chloe wasn’t his daughter.