Loe raamatut: «In His Eyes»
“Haven’t you ever made a mistake, Ellene?” her father asked.
The night Connor left stuck in her memory, but today, a bittersweet sensation washed over her. “I’ve made bad choices, Dad, but—”
“Sin is sin. Mistakes are mistakes. The Bible teaches us to forgive so that God will forgive us our mistakes. You’re the one who ended the engagement with Connor. You need to move on with your life. You’re both adults now.”
“I have moved on.”
Her father took her hand and held it, his strong fingers covering hers. “You’ve let this grudge against Connor go on too long. I know you’ve seen other fellows, but you’ve steered so far away from marriage or commitment, I’ll die without grandkids and you’ll die an old maid.”
“I’m only twenty-six.”
“Going on forty.” He gave her a wan smile, then walked over to his desk. “Here’s Connor’s phone number.” He extended a sheet of paper. “Call him.”
GAIL GAYMER MARTIN
lives in Michigan with her husband, Bob, her dearest friend and greatest support. She loves the privilege of writing stories that touch people’s hearts and share God’s promises.
Gail is multipublished in nonfiction and over thirty works of fiction. Her novels have received numerous awards: a Booksellers Best in 2005, a Holt Medallion in 2001 and 2003, the Texas Winter Rose 2003, the American Christian Romance Writers 2002 Book of the Year Award and the Romantic Times BOOKclub Reviewers Choice as Best Love Inspired novel in 2002.
When not behind her computer, Gail enjoys a busy life—traveling, presenting workshops at conferences, as well as speaking at churches, business groups and civic events.
She enjoys hearing from her readers. Write to her at P.O. Box 760063, Lathrup Village, MI, 48076 or at gail@gailmartin.com. Visit her Web site at www.gailmartin.com.
In His Eyes
Gail Gaymer Martin
MILLS & BOON
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The eye is the lamp of the body.
If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.
—Matthew 6:22–23
This book is dedicated to my husband’s aunt Florence and to Bob’s wonderful Italian family. They are filled with warmth, love and compassion.
Over the years, I’ve learned so much about his family’s traditions and fun-loving spirit.
Thanks to my friend Marianne Funke who lived on Harsens Island and answered my questions. Thanks to Esther from the Riverfront Shop who provided me with more information.
As always, I thank my husband for his hard work and support. He is a hero in my eyes.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Letter to Reader
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Chapter One
“You want me to do what?”
Ellene Bordini’s voice ricocheted around her office as she frowned at the telephone. She pursed her lips, waiting for her father’s peevish voice to sail back at her.
Instead, she heard silence.
“I’m sorry, Dad, but—”
“Come in here, Ellene. We need to talk.”
His quiet voice struck her harder than a slap. She’d tried his patience, and his response had been far more gentle than she’d deserved.
“All right,” she said, humbled by his manner. She hung up the phone and clasped her hands together to calm her reaction to his request.
She knew better than to attack her father. She knew because she loved him and because the Bible said to honor her parents.
A prickle ran up her arms as she thought about her brother. Her position in the construction company should have been his—had he been alive. Her dad was proud of the family business, and her goal was to prove she could handle it with a firm hand.
Ellene ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out knots at the ends. She disliked her natural curl about as much as she disliked talking with Connor Faraday, but that seemed to be what her father expected.
Checking her calendar, she speculated when she’d have time to call Connor Faraday. Her father’s insistence let her know she wouldn’t change his mind, but she’d try. How could she talk business with the man who’d broken her heart? Grasping her fortitude, she rose and strode from her small office into the corridor, then crossed the hall to her father’s office.
She lifted her hand and paused, gathering her thoughts, then rapped her knuckles against the solid wood door. For a woman of twenty-nine, she still felt a child’s reaction to facing her father. When he invited her in, she drew a lengthy breath and turned the knob.
Syl Bordini sat behind his desk with his back to the door, a telephone receiver pressed against his ear. When Ellene stepped inside, he swivelled to face her, a grim look wrinkling his brow. “I’ll have Ellene call you today to set an appointment. Thanks again for thinking of us.”
Ellene stood close to the door, hoping his lecture for snarling at him would be quick and painless, but when he lowered the receiver, he motioned toward a chair, his look more tender than she expected. She closed the door behind her and settled across from him.
“I’m sorry, Dad, for—”
He waved his hand to brush away her words. “Ellene, this is our livelihood. Sometimes we must deal with people we’d rather not, but if they’re honest and need our services, then we work with them. You wanted a position with the company, and I trusted that you could do the job.”
He looked at her above his reading glasses, and she squirmed. “I can, Dad. Have I ever disappointed you?”
“Not at all. I’m pleased with your work. Very pleased.”
A faraway look filled his eyes, and Ellene figured his thoughts had drifted to her brother who’d died in Bosnia.
His focus returned, and he shook his head. “Today I’m disappointed that you let the past influence your judgment. Business is business.”
“I know business is business,” she said. “But this is different, Dad. It’s Connor. We were engaged, and it ended badly. We have other employees who could do the job.”
“He asked for you.”
The words jarred her. Why? She searched for a logical reason, but none came.
Her father leaned closer, his voice softer. “He said he trusts your judgment.”
But she didn’t trust Connor’s. She sat speechless, her mind sorting out her father’s words.
“Listen, Ellene,” he said, rising. His voice sounded like the father from her childhood. He walked around the desk and drew up a chair beside her. “I understand your feelings, but time has passed. Ten years.”
“Not quite eight,” she said. To her it still seemed like yesterday.
“Haven’t you ever made a mistake?”
The night Connor left stuck in her memory like a tack, but today, a bittersweet sensation rolled across her thoughts. “I’ve made bad choices, Dad, but—”
“Sin is sin. Mistakes are mistakes. The Bible teaches us to forgive so that God will forgive us our mistakes. I don’t know what you expected of Connor. You ended the engagement. You need to move on with your life. You’re both adults now.”
“Connor’s married, Dad. I have moved on.”
Her father took her hand and held it, his strong fingers covering hers. The warmth spread up her arm giving her a sense of safety, the same as when she had been a little girl. “He trusts you.”
“If that’s what you want, I’ll handle it.”
He gave her hand a firm squeeze. “I knew you would, Ellene. I think you’ve let this grudge go on too long. I know you’ve seen other fellows, but you’ve steered so far away from marriage or commitment, I’ll die without grandkids and you’ll die an old maid. I’d like to be a grandfather someday.”
“I’m only twenty-nine.”
“Going on forty.” He gave her a wan smile, then rose and walked to his desk. “Here’s his phone number.” He extended a sheet of paper.
Ellene rose and took the memo, gazing at her father’s familiar neat blueprint-style lettering. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“You’ll call now. That was Connor on the phone when you walked in. I told him you’d call today.”
Her stomach bottomed out.
“He’s anxious to get the project underway.”
“Where is the job?”
“On Harsens Island. It was his mother’s place.”
“Harsens Island? That’s near Algonac.”
He nodded. “When do we turn down a job, because it’s a few miles away?”
Connor’s face rose in her mind, his firm jaw, those crystal-blue eyes that melted her heart, his light brown hair that turned gold in the summer sun, the soft unruly waves she’d love to run her fingers through. Connor, the rat, who’d walked away with her heart and into the arms of another woman without looking back.
Her icy hand felt damp as she clasped the phone number. She looked into her father’s eyes and gave up the battle. “I’ll call Connor today, Dad.”
Connor sat at a table along the restaurant wall, his eyes glued to the doorway. His knee wiggled beneath the tablecloth, and he tucked his hands in his lap to stop himself from playing with the silverware.
His nerves had never been so raw, at least not since years ago when his relationship with Ellene had ended. He’d asked himself over and over why he’d insisted that she work as the contractor with him. He knew Bordini Construction had a solid reputation. Any of their contractors would have done an excellent job, but when he’d called the company, he’d done what his heart dictated.
He’d heard the tension in Ellene’s tone when she’d called. Her voice had always raised the hairs on the back of his neck, the resonant tone filled with spirit and a light heart. Yesterday the lilt had seemed missing, replaced by a controlled voice that sounded so alien to him.
The waitress filled his coffee cup for the third time, and he pushed up his sleeve to check his watch again, wondering if she’d stood him up. Ellene had always had subtle ways to get even. She often joked about God’s eye-for-an-eye philosophy, but most often, her true spirit had been to turn the other cheek.
Connor pulled his hand from beneath the table and lifted the cup as he observed the steam. Through the curling haze, he saw the restaurant door swing open, along with a chilly wind, and he held his breath.
Ellene.
At first glance, she hadn’t changed except for the elegance of maturity. Her dark hair hung in loose curls to her shoulders, as he remembered. How many times had he run his fingers through the thick tendrils?
He lifted his hand, and when she saw him, a tense look tightened her features. Her mouth set into a straight line, hiding the generous smile he recalled so easily.
She slipped off her peacoat, and he watched her cross the room, dressed in pants and jacket the color of blueberries. He didn’t like blueberries, but he liked the deep-blue color against warm beige skin. The color illuminated her eyes.
“Hello,” Connor said, rising. He longed to embrace her, but he sensed her apprehension and extended his hand.
She took it with a firm shake, then released his fingers and pulled out her own chair. “You look well,” she said, her eyes focused everywhere but on his.
“So do you.” He wanted to say so much more, but not today. She’d made it clear this was a business appointment. “Thanks for meeting with me.”
“You’re welcome. Dad sends his best wishes.”
“We had a nice talk today.” He admired Ellene’s father. Though a shrewd businessman, he had always been honest and forthright.
She nodded, her eyes focused on the menu.
“I didn’t know what to order you to drink,” he said, lost for words. He had so much to say—things he longed to tell her, but he feared her response. Connor recoiled at the helpless feeling that washed over him.
“I’d like hot tea,” she said, finally looking up. “I’m sorry I was late. I had to handle a call as I was leaving.”
“No problem.” Connor beckoned the waitress and ordered the tea, then perused the menu, hoping that time and silence might pull things into perspective. Nearly eight years had passed since he’d seen Ellene. Yet emotionally, he felt as if it had been the day before.
“It’s been a long time,” he said, unleashing the thoughts from his mind.
“Yes, it has.”
She said nothing more, and he took his cue from her. He selected his meal, though his stomach had tied in knots from the moment he’d sat at the table.
The strained silence rattled him; he felt his knee bouncing beneath the table again, and he braced his heel against the floor, forcing his leg to steady. “I don’t know if your dad told you, but I’ve inherited my mother’s summer home on Harsens Island.”
“I heard about your mom’s death, Connor. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. She’d been ill for a while.”
“I was very fond of your mom.”
Warm memories filled him. “I know, and she was crazy about you.” The silence in the air was charged with memories.
The waitress returned with the tea and took their orders. Ellene dropped the bag into the metal pot, then dipped it a few times. Finally she rolled the string around the bag, gave a pull and set it on the saucer.
Connor wanted to grab the pot and drain it into the cup to complete the ritual so they could talk. His leg began jigging again, and he stretched it out, determined to relax.
Ellene poured the tea, took a careful sip, then looked at him. “So, what can Bordini Construction do for you?”
Connor pulled his knee up sharply and whacked the bottom of the table. Her tea splashed over the edge into the saucer. “Sorry,” he said, grabbing his napkin and dabbing the liquid.
“It’s fine. That’s what saucers are for.”
He pulled away the soggy napkin and placed the dry side onto his lap, feeling like a gangling teenager. When he looked at Ellene, she gave him a wide-eyed gaze.
“Back to business,” she said. “Dad said you wanted some work done. What kind of renovations are you talking about? What time frame are we discussing?”
“I’d like to enlarge both bedrooms, add a garage. Possibly make the porch a year-round room.”
“It’s screened now.”
He nodded, pleased that she remembered, because that might mean she recalled them together there, their kisses so emotional he had to rein in his longing, a yearning he controlled for her sake. He’d revered her upbringing and only wished he had continued that kind of restraint.
“We need another bathroom upstairs, too,” he said as an afterthought.
Ellene’s head jerked upward while an uneasy expression filled her face. “You said we. Now that I think of it, I’d feel more comfortable if your wife were with us, Connor. I’d like to hear her ideas in her own words.”
Her question startled him. “Apparently you haven’t heard.”
Ellene’s forehead wrinkled. “You’re divorced?”
Her tone reminded him she didn’t approve of divorce. “No. Melanie died. An aneurism. It all happened too fast. I wasn’t prepared.”
Ellene’s frown faded. “I’m sorry, Connor. I hadn’t heard.” She lifted a finger and wound it through a strand of hair. “Sadly, falling in love offers no guarantees.”
Her comment brought on difficult memories. “I know.” His loving relationship with Ellene filled his mind with a rush of nostalgia. He gazed at the tilt of her head and the look in her eyes, unable to explain the rising sensation that fluttered through him like summer moths.
The twirled strand of hair fell into a ringlet when she lowered her hand. “So then who is the ‘we’ you mentioned?”
He pulled his gaze from the twist of hair. “My daughter. Caitlin. She’s six.”
Ellene’s pulse skipped. “A daughter.” Disbelief and sadness vied within her. She looked at Connor with fresh eyes. “A daughter,” she repeated, picturing her career-filled life.
He shrugged as if not knowing how to respond. “It’s been difficult raising her alone for the past couple of years.”
“I’m sure it has,” she said, trying to make sense of the sweep of emotion that overtook her. She could have married, too. She could’ve had a child and not just a career. The choice had been hers.
The waitress saved her from further conversation. Her salad arrived, and Connor’s burger. They quieted, each delving into their meals. But Ellene’s appetite had waned. Connor, a dad. The vision filled her mind. As she swallowed, lettuce caught in her throat. She coughed, to no avail, then gave up and washed it down with a drink of tea.
Connor lowered his sandwich and wiped his mouth. “After mom died, the cottage seemed a perfect place to bring Caitlin. My mother’s sister—remember my aunt Phyllis?—she lives next door, and we’ll be close to her. It’ll be good.”
Ellene couldn’t deal with all the details spilling from him. She pushed the greens around in her bowl, longing to get away and sort her emotions. She wanted to be distant and businesslike, but he’d dropped a surprise into the mix. A six-year-old daughter. A little girl without a mother.
Ellene remembered one of her friends losing her mother when they were both children. How did a child deal with the loss? How had Connor explained his wife’s death? And without a strong faith, what hope had Connor offered his child?
She jerked her mind back to their business. “When do you want me to see the cabin?”
“What’s good for you?”
Not this, she thought. Ellene felt Connor’s knee jerking beneath the table. He always did that when he was edgy. She leaned down to pick up her handbag tucked beneath her chair. “I don’t know,” she said, unzipping the top and pulling out her daily planner.
She tilted the notebook away from Connor. Free days rose from the page, but her self-preservation fought going to the familiar cabin and seeing the little girl. Caitlin, he’d called her. A good old Irish name to go with Faraday. What might she and Connor have named their daughter? A knot twisted in her chest.
Ellene felt Connor’s gaze on her, and she lifted her focus from the planner. Her heartbeat skipped when she saw the look in his crystal-blue eyes. She could never forget his eyes or the elfin grin that looked so mischievous it made her laugh.
Today she saw only confusion.
“How about next week? Thursday or Friday?” she asked.
A frown sprang to his face. “Is this Saturday bad for you?”
“Saturday?”
“Caitlin goes to elementary school during the week. I’d rather not take her out of classes.”
She hadn’t thought. “Saturday’s fine, Connor. I’ll be there in the early afternoon.” And get it over with.
He nodded as she forced her attention back to her lunch. But who felt like eating?
Chapter Two
Saturday, Ellene pulled into the Champion Auto Ferry parking lot and got in line with nothing to do but watch the ferry maneuver across Lake St. Clair from Harsens Island to the mainland. The wintry March sun struck the gray snow piled along the bank, but the feeble rays didn’t penetrate the cold outside her car. Enormous ice floes jammed against each other and struck the nose of the boat as it moved to shore.
She rolled down her window to pay the five-dollar toll while a bitter wind swept inside her car and sent a chill down her back. The outer cold seemed no more icy than her internal struggle.
Today she’d face Connor again, but this time on his turf. Since she’d seen him earlier in the week, she’d wavered between nostalgia and bitterness. The good times rolled sweetly into her thoughts, but she tossed them out like old shoes, not wanting to deal with the hurtful memories.
Ellene focused ahead of her, past the sun’s rays glinting off the hood of her car. Why couldn’t she let the sunny memories of their relationship stay forefront in her mind? She squinted at the glare as the ramp dropped into place and the cars began to roll forward.
As the ferry boat propelled into the channel, she felt the jar of the ice floes and watched new snowflakes settle on her windshield. Summer seemed the time for island life, not the end of winter.
When they reached the other side, Ellene glanced at Connor’s directions before leaving the ferry. It had been years since she’d been to the cabin, and Connor had always driven.
She veered the car down South Channel Road toward Middle Channel, passing a border of dried plume grass that grew tall along the banks. When she came to the party store, she knew she was close.
She slowed, her heart beating overtime. Questions barraged her. Why was she so nervous? Why couldn’t she put the past behind her as her father had suggested? Why couldn’t she accept the blame—or some of it—for their breakup? But she couldn’t. She wanted nothing to do with Connor, child or no child.
Still, she had to admit, before she’d met him for lunch, she’d often thought about an older Connor. Would he look the same? Would he be bald or paunchy? Their meeting had answered her curiosity.
Connor had become a handsome man. Maturity had broadened his chest and toned his muscles so that his trim frame looked solid and healthy. His smile hadn’t changed, and only the small crinkles around his eyes added something new to his character.
Her grip tightened on the steering wheel when she saw the log cabin. She pulled into the driveway, sending up a prayer that God would give her guidance and soften her attitude.
She sat a moment, thinking of her feelings—pride, hurt, dismay. Connor had wounded her and left her disillusioned. But she’d rebounded, dating one man, then another, never feeling drawn to any of them, but longing to get even with Connor for his rejection.
Connor’s rejection had been the first, but not the last. Only last year she’d thought she had found another man who’d expressed his love and devotion. A few months ago, she’d learned he’d cheated on her. Her skin crawled with the memory.
That day, Ellene had realized that few men could be trusted. She didn’t need a man. Today she was determined to work for her father and make him proud.
As she headed up the driveway, the side door opened. Connor peeked out and grinned. “Cold, isn’t it?” His brown-and-white checkered shirt beneath a deeper brown sweater gave him a homey charm.
She couldn’t help but grin back at his stupid question. “You could have waited until May for this.”
“Not really. I want to get settled here during the summer when Caitlin is out of school.”
Caitlin. The name whacked her in the chest. As she stepped inside, she gave the room a quick scan, expecting the child to be there. But she wasn’t in sight, and the fact aroused Ellene’s curiosity.
She covered her discomfort by surveying the open space of the great room, dining and kitchen all in one. “I’d forgotten how nice this is,” she said, admiring the expansive room. “You have lots of space to work with. I like it.”
“I like it, too, but it’s the—”
“I hate it here!”
The child’s shout pierced their subdued conversation, followed by the sound of a crash above their heads as if she’d thrown something across the room.
“Sorry,” Connor said. “She’s having one of her bad days.”
“You never let me do anything,” Caitlin bellowed down the staircase.
Ellene flinched at the child’s frustration.
Connor walked to the narrow opening and called up the stairs. “Caitlin, stop it. We have company.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want any company.”
“She doesn’t mean it,” he said, looking at Ellene with contrition in his eyes. He turned and bolted up the stairs, and Ellene waited, listening to the commotion from above.
Finally it quieted, except for a child’s sobs. Ellene’s heart wrenched at the sound.
Connor’s footsteps thudded down the stairs and paused at the bottom. “Sorry. This is too common lately.”
Ellene felt at a loss. “What do you do?”
“Let her cry it out. I don’t know what else to do. To be honest, once in a while I’d like to give her a good spanking, but that’s not what she needs.”
His comment sparked her curiosity. “What does she need?”
“A mother to give her more attention than I can.”
Ellene felt a shudder course through her, and she clasped her handbag tighter to her body. The sorrow she felt for Connor at that moment overwhelmed her. “It must be hard for you.” She tilted her head toward the staircase. “What do you do when she acts out this way?”
“She’s in time-out with threats of no TV.”
“No TV? I suppose that’s a good punishment.”
He nodded. “Caitlin’s shy and hasn’t made friends around here yet. TV’s her major form of entertainment.”
As he stepped forward, a disconcerted look registered on his face. “I really apologize for all this.” He extended his hand. “I didn’t even take your coat.”
Ellene slipped it from her shoulders and handed it to him.
“Have a seat. I’ll make some coffee.”
“You don’t need to do that,” she said, rattled by the child’s problems and her own sensations.
Ellene’s emotions flew to opposite poles—pity and envy. If she and Connor had married, they might have had a daughter. Then she would be a mother, not knowing what to do either with an unhappy child.
While Connor strode into the kitchen area, Ellene settled into a chair and gazed through the glass door to the large porch and the channel beyond, weighing her thoughts and calming her discomfort while Conner put on a pot of coffee. When he finished he headed across the room to Ellene.
“I want to make things better for Caitlin,” he said, sinking into the chair across from her. “She’ll make friends eventually, once she starts school here. Aunt Phyllis will be good for her. Caitlin needs a woman in her life, and even though…”
Connor’s voice melded into Ellene’s muddied thoughts. Caitlin needed a woman—but, as Connor had just said, the girl needed a mother. Every child deserved to be loved and nourished by a mother-figure. Ellene recalled Connor’s elderly aunt. She had been a nice woman, but would she be able to deal with the energy and needs of a young, lonely child?
“I shouldn’t be yakking so much,” Connor said, his voice impinging into her reverie. “You don’t want to hear my problems.”
Ellene hadn’t heard them, except she understood his frustration. “I feel for you, Connor. Being a parent is a big responsibility.”
“And being a single parent is even bigger.”
Ellene nodded, not knowing what else to say. They gazed at each other until she became uneasy. “I suppose we should get down to business.”
“Right. The business.” The scent of coffee filled the air, and Connor rose again, pulled down three mugs from the cabinet and grabbed a packet from a nearby box.
Hot chocolate for Caitlin, Ellene guessed. Connor has a soft heart. The awareness pressed against her chest.
Connor poured the coffee and handed Ellene a cup, then strode to the staircase. “Caitlin, if you can be a good girl, you can come down for some cocoa.”
He stood a moment listening, then shrugged. But in a moment, footsteps sounded on the steps, and Ellene’s gaze shifted back to the staircase opening. In a heartbeat, a spindly child, dressed in pink sweat-pants and shirt paused in the doorway. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and an occasional hiccup let Ellene know she was controlling her sobs.
When she inched into the room, she headed straight for Connor who was putting a mug into the microwave. She reached him and buried her face into his pantleg, wrapping her arms around his leg.
“Can you say hello to Ellene?” Connor asked, resting his hand on the child’s dark-blond hair.
She didn’t raise her head but curled even closer to Conner and gave a shake.
Connor crouched and tilted her eyes to his, whispering something Ellene couldn’t hear. When he rose again, Caitlin stood straighter, watching the microwave above her head. Hearing the quiet beep, Connor pulled out the mug, added the chocolate mixture and stirred, then set it on the counter. “Let it cool a minute or you’ll burn your hands.”
He grasped his mug of coffee and headed for Ellene. “I suppose you don’t approve.” He passed the chair and sat on the couch.
She frowned, wondering what he meant.
He gave a slight tilt of his head toward Caitlin. “Forgiving too quickly.”
Forgiving too quickly. The words shot through her as her father’s words pierced her thoughts. The Bible teaches us to forgive so that God will forgive us our mistakes. “I don’t think you were wrong.”
He gave her a questioning look, as if he wasn’t sure if she meant it, then turned toward Caitlin. She’d grasped the mug of chocolate and was blowing on the top. Connor patted the cushion beside him.
Caitlin noticed, but hesitated.
“Hi, Caitlin. I’m glad to meet you,” Ellene said, watching the child’s unsteady journey with her hot drink.
Caitlin gave her a shy look, then moved closer and finally settled beside Connor.
Ellene took a sip of the coffee, surprised that Connor remembered she liked it with milk, and studied the child. She saw Connor’s image in the little girl, and it was more than the blue eyes. Caitlin had the same determined set to the jaw. What looked different was her nose, more delicate and slightly rounded at the tip. The early thought rose in her mind. What would her and Connor’s little daughter have looked like? If…
No ifs. She clinched her jaw, struggling to gain control of her thoughts and let her question slide. She focused on Caitlin, wishing she could do something to bring a smile to the child’s face, something to help her relax. “Do you know why I’m here?”
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