Loe raamatut: «A Surgeon To Heal Her Heart»

CHAPTER ONE

“I’M TELLING YOU, that man has the hots for you.”

At her co-worker’s words, the corners of nurse Carly Evans’ lips inched upward. Still, she shrugged as if the comment was no big deal. She needed to fight the excitement Rosalyn’s claim incited, not give her heart free rein to jump up and down with joy.

Jump up and down? Ha. More like her heart was somersaulting worthy of a world-class medal.

The same flip-flopping routine her heart went into any time she thought of the hospital’s newest general surgeon.

Not that she had a right to feel that way. Not when she couldn’t do one thing about her heart’s acrobatics or any hots Dr. Stone Parker might have for her.

Stone.

Just thinking his name, how his eyes, his mouth had immediately crinkled with a smile when they’d met hers on this morning’s rounds, had her blood pounding. The erratic rhythm practically demanded a giddy schoolgirl dance with fists thrust into the air.

Maybe her friend should be saying Carly had the hots for Stone.

She did.

For all the good it would do her.

Which was the problem.

She’d have been better off if she’d never met Stone, never felt the way he made every nerve cell inside her hum with life.

That she wasn’t free hadn’t been a problem, until she’d met him. Now...now, she was torn and hated herself for it.

Closing the medicine cart and nearly dropping the medications she’d just taken out, Carly took a long, steadying breath, and grimaced.

“Uh-huh, I saw that so don’t go pretending you’re immune to the man.” Rosalyn’s dark brown eyes glowed with eagerness at Carly’s tell-tale motion. “I’ve seen you two talking, the sparks that fly back and forth. You like him, too. Admit it.”

Wasn’t that the same as saying she liked to breathe? How could any sane, straight woman not like Stone? The man was gorgeous and the total package.

Just over six feet tall, dark brown hair with the slightest hint of curl, green eyes that twinkled when he smiled, and a face that had inspired numerous fantasies... Yeah, Stone was ‘likable’.

Just a tad.

“He seems to be a great doctor and, of course, he’s a good-looking man.” Understatements of the year. “I can appreciate that, just as most females, including yourself, can,” Carly pointed out, using all her willpower to keep her voice level, cool, and as unaffected as possible. “But that does not mean I ‘like him’ like him.”

Like liking Stone was a waste of emotions she didn’t have to spare.

“Honey, you’re protesting too much.” Chuckling, Rosalyn practically rubbed her hands with glee. “Admit it. He makes you all hot beneath your nursing uniform.”

Carly rolled her eyes at the nurse she’d worked side by side with for the past five years. Rosalyn was a big-hearted African American woman raising four teenagers with her mechanic husband. There was no one Carly would rather work with than the long-time med-surg nurse.

Except maybe for this moment. None of her other co-workers would initiate this particular conversation.

Squaring her shoulders, Carly stared straight into her friend’s dark eyes.

“I’m sure Dr. Parker is a very nice man.” He was. “I enjoy our conversations very much.” She did. “But whether or not he has the hots for me is totally irrelevant.” Sadly, the truth. “I’m not interested in a relationship with him, or anyone else, outside these hallowed walls.” Also, sadly, the truth.

Inside the hospital walls Carly was a very different person from who she was outside them.

Inside these walls she could focus on being a shining light to her patients and cling to the shadows of the Carly she’d once been.

Part of her worried that Carly was shriveling into nothingness to disappear forever. Which might be why she enjoyed time around Stone so much. He gave her glimpses of a younger, carefree version of herself.

Made her insides spark as if trying to relight a fire that used to brightly burn. In her fantasies, it still did.

In the real world, that fire couldn’t be relit. Unfortunately.

“Why is that?”

Carly jumped at the question that came from behind her. Literally and figuratively. What? How?

She’d been expecting Rosalyn to respond, not the familiar masculine voice that had the effect of morphing her insides to melted butter.

When had he walked up behind her?

Why hadn’t Rosalyn told her?

Or at least given some indication he was on the medical floor and within earshot? She had to have seen him behind Carly.

Rosalyn had set her up, playing matchmaker.

Slowly, Carly turned to face the man she’d just been talking about.

Insides quaking, she stared into the most beautiful green eyes she’d ever encountered. So green she could almost be convinced the color was the result of contact lenses. If she’d had any doubts, he was now close enough to put that question to rest. All she could see was gorgeous bright green eyes, the color of spring bringing life back after a long cold spell.

Dark, long lashes fringed his eyes, giving them a surreal look that only added to his already handsome face. No doubt about it. Stone was easy to look at.

She opened her mouth, meaning to tell him something, anything, but not the truth.

The truth was something she kept private. Something she didn’t talk about with her co-workers because she needed to keep her life compartmentalized. At the hospital, she worked hard, was free to laugh with her co-workers and patients, to just feel normal and pretend life was grand.

She wouldn’t let home creep into work.

She couldn’t.

Not if any part of her was to survive.

Compartmentalization was her friend and kept her sane.

“Yeah,” Rosalyn added, her amused gaze bouncing back and forth between Stone and Carly.

Her co-worker was definitely having Cupid inclinations. In another lifetime, Carly would have welcomed her help, would have welcomed a man like Stone being interested. Welcomed and been over the moon. But that wasn’t where she was and probably wouldn’t be for years.

Lord, she hoped it would be years.

The alternative was unthinkable.

Stone’s gaze cut to the grinning nurse who was watching them with the eagerness of a movie-goer. All she needed was a seat and some popcorn.

“Rosalyn, would you mind getting a warm blanket for Room 207?” he asked. “That’s what I stepped out to do, but fortunately I ran into you lovely ladies.”

Carly was one hundred percent sure “fortunately” was not what she’d call him overhearing her and Rosalyn’s conversation.

Heat flooded Carly’s face and she glanced down at her tennis shoes, staring at the neon-green laces. Good work shoes were the one luxury she allowed herself. With the long hours she worked, good shoes mattered.

“Yes, sir.” Rosalyn grinned at him, and then winked at Carly. Chuckling, she took off toward where the blanket warmer was located. “Just you remember what I said, Carly Evans,” she called without turning around. “It would do you some good to think about that.”

Carly was pretty sure her cheeks were as red as her scrubs. Maybe more so as her scrubs were a little faded from too many washings.

When Rosalyn was out of earshot, Stone turned back to Carly. One side of his mouth lifted in a wry smile. “I didn’t intentionally listen in, but will admit that I’m intrigued by what I heard. You mind explaining?”

She minded. “How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know I want to hear more.”

Being careful not to spill Room 204’s medication from the cup, Carly put her hands on her hips. “Which tells me nothing.”

“How much could I have overheard?” His eyes twinkled.

Good grief, he’d heard everything. Was the fact that he was standing behind Carly why Rosalyn had mentioned him in the first place?

“Not a lot.” Carly decided to go for nonchalant. Nonchalant was good and meant she didn’t care what he’d overheard. He didn’t know her private thoughts, nor would he ever. “Rosalyn had a theory about you. I told her that her theory was pointless as I wasn’t interested in anything beyond friendship.”

“Which is where I asked why you weren’t interested.” His lips twitched, his eyes sparkled, and he was enjoying that he’d caught her having a conversation about him.

“Yes,” she said for lack of knowing what else to say, a little flustered by the fact Stone didn’t mind that Rosalyn had said he had the hots for Carly. Which meant what?

That he did have the hots for her?

He’d flirted, but he was such a good-natured person, talking with everyone, so she’d consoled herself that her talking back was harmless, that nothing would come of their shared conversations. He wouldn’t really be interested in her outside of having a little fun at the hospital.

He was a gorgeous doctor. She was just her. An overworked, over-stressed, financially stretched nurse doing all she could to provide care for her seriously ill mother.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he pointed out, his intent gaze warning she’d been fooling herself on thinking their conversations didn’t mean anything.

Her pulse drummed rapidly at her temple.

“I wasn’t having a discussion with you,” she reminded him, knowing she had to get her thoughts, her reaction to him, under control. Better to stay in denial than to acknowledge what she couldn’t have, what she couldn’t let herself have. “You weren’t a part of the conversation you interrupted.”

She wanted to be irritated with him, but how could anyone be upset with him when he had such an all-encompassing smile on his face? A smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, dug dimples into his cheeks, and made his eyes sparkle?

Good grief. The man was incorrigible. And so gorgeous. And so out of her reach. Still, the way he made her feel was addictive, like a magic spell that gave everything a shiny glow.

A shiny glow she’d like to bask in, but life had other plans for her. Plans that didn’t include time for a dalliance with the most intriguing man she’d ever met.

She arched a brow and shook her head. “Some would say eavesdropping was rude, you know?”

His left dimple dug a little deeper. “I’m part of the conversation now.”

She rolled her eyes upward. “Not by my choice.”

He laughed. “You saying I’m holding you here against your will?”

Carly shrugged. “Obviously not. If you’ll excuse me?” She went to push past him.

“I won’t.”

Eyes wide, Carly stopped, met his for once serious gaze. “Pardon?”

“I won’t excuse you,” he clarified. “Not this time. Eavesdropping was rude. You’re right. But since I was the topic of conversation, surely I’m forgiven for jumping in?”

Her insides shook so that she still might end up spilling those meds she held yet. “There’s no rule that says I have to forgive you for butting into my conversation.”

“Even when the conversation is about me?”

“Especially when the conversation is about you.”

He chuckled. “You should have dinner with me tonight and let me convince you to forgive my so-called rudeness. Plus, we can discuss why my having the hots for you doesn’t matter because it matters a great deal to me.”

Guilt hit Carly. This was her fault. She should have put a stop to whatever sparks Rosalyn said were flying between them but she’d not dared to believe he was really interested in her.

Sure, he’d gone out of his way to start conversations, asking her things he could have asked any hospital employee. He’d sat back in the break room with her a few times while she’d quickly swallowed down whatever she’d packed from home.

His sitting with her while she ate should have made her horribly uncomfortable, but instead she’d found herself regretting how quickly her short lunch break had slipped by while they’d talked. He’d asked about her favorite parts of Memphis and, drawing upon her childhood and college memories, she’d told him. No need to tell him that for five years she’d not been to any of those places. Surely, they hadn’t changed that much in such a short time?

Then again, she’d changed that much.

Aged a hundred years, at least.

But for all that, she’d thought their interactions innocent. She’d figured Stone had svelte, glamorous women lined up in droves out there in the real world. Talking with Carly was just a fun way to pass time when he was at work.

Had she really believed that?

Or had she refused to believe anything else because she enjoyed his attention and hadn’t wanted to give it up?

She didn’t lead on men when she had no intentions of following through. So if he was interested then, yeah, she had to put a halt to it right now.

Carly’s throat tightened as she said, “Our discussing that would be an utter waste of both of our time.”

“I’ve time to spare.”

“That makes one of us.” She seriously doubted he had much time to spare, either.

His dark brow arched. “You’re too busy to go to dinner with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.” She took off toward her patient’s room, but he stayed in step beside her.

“Tomorrow night?”

“Busy.”

Her answer seemed to waylay him for a few seconds, but then, still beside her, he asked, “Surely you make time to eat, Carly? I’ll take you to the restaurant of your choice and promise to have you home at a decent hour.” He waggled his brows and gave another crooked smile. “Unless you want me to keep you out past bedtime, that is.”

Oh, my. Not going to happen... But, oh, my, oh, my, oh, my.

She ate in quick snatches after getting home, usually soup or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while Joyce filled her in on the day’s events.

Carly liked uneventful days.

Days in which her mother didn’t have any angry outbursts or falls or screams of pain or significant declines in her failing health. It had been so long since Carly had eaten out at a restaurant that she didn’t have a favorite. Money was tight. Eating out was expensive. There would be time for such luxuries later, after her mother’s life succumbed to her illness.

Just as there would be time for relationships. For real relationships and smiles and going to restaurants with handsome men.

The odds of a man as fabulous as Stone ever asking her to dinner again was next to nil, but, even so, dinner dates, or staying out past bedtime, had to wait.

Carly prayed that would be many years down the road. Those snatches of good spells with her mother were worth everything. They were getting further and further in between, but on a day of clarity Carly’s heart filled with enough joy to tide her over until the next brief glimpse.

Thoughts of her mother, of the fact she wasn’t free to date, that to pretend otherwise with Stone was wrong, made a new wave of guilt hit her. She’d been wrong to ever let things get to this point, but it was too late to undo that now. Other than to put an abrupt stop to his interest.

As difficult as it was going to be, she had to cut all ties with Stone.

“I eat,” she admitted, not that that was in question. She stopped mid-hallway to glare in as much annoyance at him as she could muster. “But not with strangers.”

“I’m not a stranger,” he clarified, not seeming fazed by her glare.

No wonder. It wasn’t easy to glare at a gorgeous man smiling and trying to convince you to go to dinner. Maybe he could see right through her, could see that everything female inside her responded to him. Maybe he saw how much she longed for a different set of life circumstances that would mean she could have her mother and a relationship. No matter. That wasn’t the life she’d been given and she wouldn’t bemoan things she had no control over.

“And, we have eaten together,” he reminded her, his grin full of charm. “In the break room at lunch when I’m lucky enough to catch you there. Plus, we’ve been working together for almost a month. We are not strangers.”

He made a valid argument, but none of which made any impact on why she couldn’t go to dinner.

“A whole month since you came to work at Memphis Memorial? Time does fly.” To make her point, she glanced at her watch, then gave him the sternest expression she could muster. “My patient is due his medication and I am going to administer it now. Thank you for the invitation, but my answer is no and won’t change.” She met his gaze. “I’m sorry if I ever gave you reason to think otherwise.”

He looked ready to say something more, but didn’t attempt to stop her when she moved past him to hightail her way down the hospital-floor hallway.

No matter. She could feel his gaze as she hurried to escape into her patient’s room and away from the most disconcerting man she’d ever met.

Tony had sure never gotten her worked up the way Stone had in the month she’d known him.

One month, four days. That was how long Stone had been at Memphis Memorial.

Not that she was counting.

She shouldn’t be aware the man existed outside that he was a doctor at the hospital where she worked.

But she was aware.

Too aware.

With that thought she bit the inside of her lower lip and fought the urge to cry a little. A lot. No matter.

She had a good life, had her mother, anything beyond that would have to wait for a day she prayed never came.

* * *

Stone Parker wasn’t sure how he’d misread what was happening between him and Carly Evans.

He’d thought they shared a connection, that she felt the spark he felt when he looked at her.

Today was the most direct conversation they’d had about what was happening, but he’d never tried to hide his interest, and he’d thought it was reciprocated. From the moment he’d met her, he’d gone out of his way to bump into her. She’d been pleasant. Cheerful. Smiling a lot. Had often had a sassy rebuttal to things he’d say. Had she just been being friendly? Polite?

After hearing her comment today, he had to wonder.

With her soulful brown eyes that held so much emotion, her silky chestnut hair she kept pulled up in a ponytail, pouty full lips, and almost fragile features, she’d caught his attention his first day at the hospital.

And held it.

He enjoyed their conversations, enjoyed sitting with her in the break room while she grabbed a quick lunch.

Although he’d yet to ask her out due to finishing up his move, settling into his new job and home, working three of the four weekends he’d been in Memphis and having to go home the previous weekend for his parents’ anniversary, he’d planned to see if she was free for the upcoming weekend.

Not once had he questioned whether or not she’d say yes. He’d swear she was interested, that she enjoyed their light, fun conversations as much as he did.

Just the previous day, he’d asked her friend Rosalyn about her. Surprisingly, Rosalyn hadn’t been able to tell him much about Carly’s personal life. They’d worked together for five years, Carly didn’t attend any of the hospital’s social functions, rarely talked about family and never about anyone special.

None of their other co-workers had been able to tell him anything more.

He was a young healthy man who’d been used to an active social life since his divorce. Staying busy, active, was how he’d kept sane after Stephanie had left him. The fact his social life had been on hiatus from the move and job change was probably why he got so twisted up inside when he looked at Carly.

Although thinner than his usual taste, she was a beautiful woman, had a great sense of humor, and a quick smile.

When she smiled, his breath caught.

Rosalyn was right.

He had the hots for Carly.

Although he’d been in several relationships since his divorce, they’d all been light, fun, about mutual pleasure. From the moment he’d met her, Carly had tugged at something deep that made him question the meaningless relationships he moved in and out of with the ease of a broken heart that didn’t allow anything more.

Memories of the past hit him, freezing him in place and making him question his interest in Carly.

Was she playing hard to get? Had he misread her? Or was there something more going on?