Loe raamatut: «In His Loving Care»

CONTENTS

Cover

Dear Reader

Title Page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

‘DR COLE? I’m Helen Daniels, the senior partner. Thank you for coming.’

Helen summoned a smile as the man stood up, hoping that she didn’t look as weary as she felt. The response to her advertisement for a new partner to join the staff at The Beeches surgery had been far better than she’d anticipated. Even after whittling the applications down to just a dozen, it still meant that she’d spent every spare minute this past week interviewing for the post. Lewis Cole was her final candidate and, to her mind, the most promising, although she took care not to let him know that as she escorted him from the waiting-room. She intended to choose her new partner very carefully—make the decision with her head, not her heart.

A frown puckered her brow as she led the way into her consulting-room. She had no idea why she should have imagined that she might become emotionally involved when making the decision. It had never crossed her mind while she had been interviewing the other candidates so why had it occurred to her now?

Covertly, she studied Lewis Cole as he sat down in front of her desk, taking stock of a leanly muscular physique, crisp dark brown hair and smoothly handsome features. He was wearing a beautifully tailored black suit with a white shirt and an expensive silk tie so maybe that was what had set him apart from the other candidates, she mused. None of the people she’d interviewed to date had been so formally attired and perhaps that was why he had stood out.

He suddenly looked up and Helen hastily took her seat when she found herself subjected to an equally thorough scrutiny from a pair of piercing deep grey eyes. If she’d been weighing up Lewis Cole then he was returning the favour and she couldn’t help wondering what he thought of her.

Did he find her particular shade of red hair attractive, for instance? Someone had once described the colour as wet-fox red, and had meant it as a compliment, too, although the colour might not be to everyone’s taste. The warm greeny-blue colour of her eyes wasn’t too bad, though, and her features were even enough…

‘Thank you for seeing me, Dr Daniels. I know my application was a little late reaching you but I didn’t notice your advertisement when I first read the journal.’

Helen jumped when Lewis Cole addressed her in a voice that sounded like dark chocolate—all smooth and rich and velvety. She quickly returned her attention to what she was supposed to be doing, rather surprised that it had wavered in the first place. Taking his application out of her tray, she placed it in the centre of her blotter.

‘I did request that the advertisement should be placed inside a box so it would stand out, but my instructions weren’t carried out.’ She treated him to a cool smile, wanting to regain control of the interview and not allow him to hijack it, as she sensed he might do. ‘Fortunately, it didn’t cause too many problems at the end of the day. I received over fifty applications for the post, which is an excellent result.’

‘Indeed it is.’

He leant back in his chair, crossing one long leg over the other as though he was totally at ease, and Helen felt another ripple run through her. In light of the experience she’d gained during the past week, it seemed incredible that a candidate should be this relaxed during an interview so what made Dr Cole so sure of himself?

She cast another glance at his application, facts leaping out at her from the expertly typed pages: aged forty; member of the Royal College of Surgeons as well as the Royal College of Physicians; senior consultant in gastrointestinal surgery at St Leona’s in London; retrained as a GP the previous year…

She looked up, wondering not for the first time why he’d decided to quit surgery. He’d stated in his application that it had been “for personal reasons”, although she had no idea what that meant. Maybe it was time she found out.

‘There is no point me asking you the usual questions I’ve asked a lot of the other candidates, Dr Cole.’ She glanced at his application and shrugged. ‘It’s obvious from this that you have a great deal of experience so what interests me most is why you decided to leave surgery and retrain at this stage in your career.’

‘As I explained in my application, my reasons were personal ones. Surgery is a very demanding discipline and it involves long and very irregular hours. At the present time I need a job that will provide me with a little more stability in my life.’

His grey eyes met hers calmly across the desk but she could see a nerve ticking in his jaw and realised with a jolt that his composure wasn’t as solid as she’d imagined it to be. For some reason the discovery made her want to reassure him that he had nothing to worry about, only there was no way she could do that.

Helen sat up straighter, annoyed with herself for ignoring her own sage advice about not letting herself become emotionally involved. Lewis Cole was just another candidate and she mustn’t allow herself to be swayed by the thought that she might be able to make his life a little easier by offering him the job.

‘So you believe that general practice is an easier option than surgery?’ she asked, allowing a hint of scepticism to creep into her voice.

‘Not easier, no. Just more…predictable.’

‘Predictable?’ Helen tipped back her head and laughed. It was the funniest answer she’d heard all week.

‘Obviously, I’ve said something to amuse you, Dr Daniels.’

The deep voice was colder now, stern, too, and her laughter immediately dried up. ‘I laughed more in astonishment than amusement, actually. General practice is never predictable, as you’ll find out for yourself if you secure a position as a GP.’

She allowed that to sink in, feeling a bit mean about slipping the doubt into the conversation, although maybe she was doing him a favour. After all, there was no guarantee that he would get this job, or any other for that matter.

The thought of his potential disappointment was upsetting for some reason and she hurried on. ‘You never know what’s going to happen from one minute to the next. Every time a patient walks through the door, you have to be prepared to deal with whatever they throw at you.’

She glanced at his application again then looked up, expecting to see some sign of emotion on his face, but his expression was completely blank now, as though he was deliberately hiding his feelings from her.

It was unsettling to wonder what was going on inside his head but Helen refused to dwell on it as she continued in the same no-nonsense tone. ‘It’s not all colds and heartburn in general practice. We have many patients at The Beeches who have very complex needs and we make sure they all receive the highest standard of care.’

‘It’s good to know that,’ he said quietly. ‘And I apologise if you thought I was being flippant. I’m certainly not dismissive of general practice work otherwise I wouldn’t have chosen to become a GP myself.’

There was no doubting his sincerity. Helen felt a little heat run through her veins as she realised that she probably deserved the rebuke. She experienced a sudden urge to apologise to him before it struck her that the whole reason for this interview was so she could ask him questions like that. She took a quick breath, determined not to let herself get sidetracked again.

‘The Beeches is a very busy practice. We have over three thousand patients on our books and we cover a large area of the surrounding countryside as well as the town. Whoever is appointed to this post will be a highly visible member of the local community.’

‘I don’t have a problem with that.’ He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving lightly under the expensively tailored jacket. ‘It will make a refreshing change after living in London all my adult life, in fact.’

‘Good,’ she said firmly, pleased to have got back onto familiar territory. So long as she stuck to the demands of the job, there wouldn’t be a problem with this interview. ‘Ian was very keen to ensure that The Beeches would continue to be at the heart of any local activities.’

‘Ian?’ he interjected.

‘My husband.’ Helen paused, wondering why she felt so uncomfortable about explaining her marital status. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t had enough time to get over Ian’s death but she felt…odd about having to explain to Lewis Cole that she was a widow. However, there really was no way that she could avoid it.

‘Ian died two years ago of a heart attack. It was a shock because he’d always been extremely fit.’ She hurried on, knowing it would be easier to tell him all the details in one fell swoop. ‘I took over the practice after his death and I’ve tried to carry on running it in a way that Ian and his father would have approved of. Ian’s father founded The Beeches,’ she added. ‘Summerfield didn’t have a doctor’s surgery until then.’

‘It must be very difficult for you.’

Helen felt her heart squeeze in an extra beat when she glimpsed a hint of compassion in his eyes. It made her feel very strange to know that he sympathised with her, although she couldn’t allow it to affect her judgement. ‘Being a widow doesn’t affect my work,’ she said sharply.

‘I wasn’t referring to that. I meant that it must be difficult to maintain someone else’s standards. Most people prefer to do things their own way, in my experience.’

She blinked in surprise. Although she would never have admitted it, sometimes she did grow weary of the continual demands that were placed upon her. Living up to Ian’s expectations these last two years hadn’t been easy. Several times she’d been tempted to adopt a simpler approach but she’d always held back because she hadn’t wanted to overrule her late husband’s wishes. To have that very fact pointed out to her by this stranger made a lump come to her throat all of a sudden.

‘I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to make such an observation.’

She wasn’t sure if Lewis Cole had noticed her emotionally charged state and didn’t stop to wonder about it. She couldn’t afford to get embroiled in that kind of pointless exercise. She picked up his application again, hoping he would have the sensitivity not to pursue the subject.

‘I see that you studied medicine at Oxford.’

‘That’s right. After that I did a stint at Guy’s—the usual house officer nightmare of being shunted around from pillar to post—before I opted for surgery.’

‘What made you decide to specialise in gastrointestinal surgery?’ she asked, slipping in the question as soon as he’d finished speaking because it seemed wiser to fill all the time that she’d allotted for this interview with questions.

She shot a surreptitious glance at the clock and sighed in relief when she saw that ten minutes had passed. After another ten minutes she would be able to wind up the interview without appearing too hasty. She should be able to manage ten more minutes of Lewis Cole’s company….

Or ten more years, an insidious little voice whispered inside her head. Couldn’t she just imagine them working side by side in the surgery for years to come? Or, better still, spending time together outside work?

Appalled by the way her mind seemed to be behaving that day, Helen rushed on before he’d had a chance to answer her question. ‘It’s one of the less glamorous specialities, isn’t it?’

‘I didn’t go into surgery for the glamour of the job.’ His tone was flat but she could sense him bridling and inwardly groaned because now she would have to apologise.

‘I’m sure you didn’t. It was an unfortunate choice of words,’ she said as calmly as she could, unsure why she was so wary. After all, a simple apology shouldn’t have been a major issue, yet for some reason she felt uneasy about letting him gain the upper hand.

He inclined his head so she took it to mean that he’d accepted her attempt to make amends. However, it seemed wiser not to say anything else in case any more unruly thoughts came rushing out of her mouth. She waited politely for him to continue and after a moment he carried on.

‘I chose gastrointestinal surgery for the simple reason that not many surgeons choose to work in that particular field.’

‘I see,’ Helen replied automatically, although she didn’t really understand. Maybe it showed, too, because he explained without her having to prompt him.

‘I was extremely ambitious when I began my career in medicine. I intended to make consultant by the time I was thirty-five and I achieved my aim. I might not have succeeded if I’d gone into a different speciality like orthopaedics, for instance. That’s always a popular choice for budding surgeons.’

‘So your interest in gastrointestinal surgery was a career choice?’ she clarified, somewhat surprised by his honesty.

‘Partly, yes. Obviously I had an interest in the field otherwise I would never have opted for it. However, my main reason for choosing it was to achieve personal progression.’

‘Yet you’ve chosen to retrain as a general practitioner? Don’t you find it somewhat daunting to be back on the bottom rung of the career ladder?’ she asked bluntly, needing to understand his motivation better.

She’d obviously surprised him by the forthright question because that nerve in his jaw had started to beat even faster now. Nevertheless, his gaze was level as he looked at her across the desk.

‘Yes, I do. I find it extremely daunting. However, it’s what I need to do so that’s all there is to it.’

He glanced down and when he looked up again she could see the conviction in his eyes. ‘Maybe my route to becoming a GP has been a little unorthodox but I promise you, Dr Daniels, that if you do take me on as a partner I will do the job to the very best of my ability. There will be no half-measures, I assure you. I will give you one hundred per cent commitment.’

Lewis tried to hide his anxiety beneath an outward aura of calm but his blood pressure was going through the roof! However, if he’d learned one thing during the past twelve months it was that he desperately needed to put some stability into his and Kristy’s lives, and moving to Summerfield could be the perfect way to do it.

His mouth twisted wryly because there was very little about this situation that could be classed as perfect. A year ago his life had been structured almost to a fault but now he never knew from one day to the next what was going to happen. Looking after a six-year-old child, and a child who had suffered several major traumas in her short life, was far more challenging than anything he’d done before, but his determination had never wavered. Kristy deserved the happiness and security that came from knowing she was loved.

The sheer force of his feelings whenever he thought about his daughter was in danger of making his composure crumble so he did his best to batten down his emotions. Helen Daniels was staring at his application as though it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever read but he sensed that her concentration was a cover for less positive thoughts.

Couldn’t she imagine herself working with him? he wondered anxiously because he had no idea what he was going to do if he didn’t get this job.

He’d been for six interviews to date and each time another candidate had been offered the position. He knew it wasn’t his lack of experience in general practice work that had been his downfall—the other candidates had been younger than him and newly qualified, too. His trouble was that he came across as far too forceful during an interview, but it was difficult to curb his natural tendency to take charge. He’d had a team of surgeons answering to him at St Leona’s, although he hadn’t made any mention of that in his application in case it had gone against him. He needed this job and he couldn’t afford to lose it because he scared off the lovely Dr Daniels!

A frown drew Lewis’s brows together. He hadn’t realised until that moment that he’d noticed how attractive Helen Daniels was. With that glorious red hair and those expressive greeny-blue eyes, she was a truly beautiful woman. The fact that her expression held an innate sweetness was another plus factor because in his rather extensive experience beauty rarely equated with a charming nature. However, it appeared that Helen Daniels had been blessed with both and it was unnerving to realise that he was attracted to her. The last thing he could afford was to find himself embroiled in a relationship when he had Kristy to consider.

‘I don’t doubt that you mean what you say, Dr Cole. However, I would be lying if I said that I don’t have reservations about offering you the job.’

Helen Daniel’s voice cut through his thoughts like a hot knife through butter, and he stiffened. He stared back at her, blanking out every thought apart from the fact that he had to get this job.

‘Because of my lack of experience in general practice work?’ he suggested neutrally, and she shrugged.

‘That’s not my main concern. I’m sure you would cope admirably in whichever field you chose to work. However, working in a town like Summerfield would be a whole new experience for most people, and it would be vastly different to what you’re used to.’

‘In what way?’ he demanded, struggling to remain calm, no easy feat when he knew where the conversation was leading. Helen Daniels was trying to let him down as gently as possible but he didn’t want to be let down—didn’t want to let Kristy down when she was depending on him!

‘There is nothing hi-tech about this practice. We’ve always relied on the principle of good, accurate diagnosis followed by the appropriate treatment. After-care is also extremely important to us so we make sure that we don’t lose touch with our patients once we’ve treated them.’

‘I agree.’ Lewis summoned a smile, hoping it would disguise his chagrin. Dr Daniels obviously didn’t rate him very highly if she thought that she needed to explain that principle to him.

‘It’s an approach I employed at St Leona’s. Every patient I treated there was called back for a further consultation six weeks after their surgery and I made a point of seeing them myself rather than relying on a junior to do it for me. Not only did it enable me to assess their fitness, it also gave me the opportunity to fine-tune the treatment I’d provided for them and maybe improve on it for the next patient I saw.’

‘Oh! I hadn’t realised that.’

Lewis felt a wave of tenderness wash over him when he saw a little colour touch her cheeks. His tone softened, taking on a gentleness that he rarely employed apart from when he was speaking to Kristy.

‘There’s no reason why you should have known, Dr Daniels. The work I did at St Leona’s was vastly different to what you do here. I understand that. I’m also aware that I still have a great deal to learn about general practice work. However, I’ve completed my training and the experience I gained during that time has given me an insight into what might be expected of me.’

‘Of course,’ she replied stiffly, obviously embarrassed by her gaffe. ‘I never meant to imply otherwise, Dr Cole, I assure you.’

‘I’m sure you didn’t,’ he replied smoothly. He certainly didn’t want to make her feel that she was in the wrong when it could have repercussions on her offering him the job. He needed this job for Kristy’s sake and wanted it for himself, too. He could imagine himself working very happily with Helen Daniels.

Lewis cleared his throat, somewhat surprised by the thought. It was rare for him to make snap judgements and he couldn’t understand why he’d done so in this instance. ‘All I can say is that I will do a good job if you offer me the post. With your help, I feel that I could fit in here and make a valuable contribution to the community.’

‘I appreciate your enthusiasm, Dr Cole. However, as I’m sure you will understand, I need to consider your application in light of the others I’ve received. The standard has been extremely high so it may take a few days for me to reach a decision.’

She stood up, making it clear that the interview was over. Lewis’s heart sank as he got to his feet. He knew without having to be told that he’d blown it. He’d been too forceful, too sure of himself, and she wasn’t having any of it.

He really couldn’t blame her, he thought as he shook her hand. He would have had reservations, too, if he’d been the one doing the interview. A forty-year-old consultant surgeon moving into general practice wasn’t the usual run-of-the-mill candidate so any prospective employer would have had doubts. Not for the first time he found himself wondering if he’d been mad to take this step, yet what choice had he had?

Kristy needed him to be there when she got home from school. She needed him to be there in the middle of the night when she woke up, screaming in terror. What use was he to her if he was stuck in Theatre or at one of the endless fundraising dinners he’d been expected to attend? His whole lifestyle had had to change, although he didn’t regret it for a second. He owed Kristy this and a lot more after the way he’d failed her for the first six years of her life!

He swung round, wishing there was something more he could have done to convince Helen Daniels that he was the best candidate for the post. She followed him from the room and he could sense her eagerness to get rid of him as she escorted him to the reception area. She paused by the desk, a polite smile fixed to her lovely mouth, and he sighed. There was no point holding out any hope that he would be offered the job so maybe he should cut his losses and make this as easy as possible for her.

‘Thank you for seeing me, Dr Daniels. I appreciate you giving up your time.’

‘Thank you for coming all this way,’ she countered politely. ‘Did you drive up here or travel by train, by the way?’

‘I drove. The trains can be a little erratic and I wanted to make sure I was back when Kristy got home from school,’ he replied, without thinking, because he was busily watching the light from the window playing across her hair. It really was the most glorious colour, he thought, watching a winter sunbeam bounce fiery lights off the silky red tendrils…

‘You have a daughter?’

The surprise in her voice reclaimed his attention and he nodded. ‘Yes. Kristy is six,’ he explained in the noncommittal tone he used whenever anyone exhibited surprise at the fact that he was a father.

‘A lovely age. Old enough to enjoy her company yet still young enough that you can take care of her. You spend all your time worrying about them when they’re old enough to leave home.’

Lewis frowned. He wasn’t sure what to make of that comment. He would have put her age at somewhere in her mid-thirties so she must have been very young when she’d had her family if her children had left home. Bearing in mind the years she would have spent studying, it seemed very strange and he was still trying to work it out when she continued.

‘How does your wife feel about moving out of London? Is she happy about the idea?’

Lewis forgot about Helen’s family as he tried to decide how to answer the question. Normally, he avoided any mention of Tessa because he found it too difficult to talk about her. It also upset Kristy to hear her mother’s name mentioned so he skirted around the subject whenever anyone asked about her. However, for some reason he felt that he had to be truthful with Helen Daniels.

‘I’m not married. I never have been, in fact.’

‘Oh! I’m sorry. I just assumed you were when you spoke about your daughter…’

She broke off in embarrassment and he grimaced because now he’d made matters worse. The only way to rectify the problem was to tell her the full story and to hell with what she thought…only it wasn’t that simple. For some, inexplicable reason he didn’t want her to think badly of him.

‘Kristy’s mother and I had a brief affair some years ago before she moved to Florida. She never told me that she was pregnant before she left so I had no idea that she was expecting my child. I only found out last year when a firm of lawyers from Miami informed me that I had a daughter.’

‘It must have been a shock for you.’

‘It was.’ He smiled grimly, thinking that must be the biggest understatement of all time. Even now, a full year later, he still woke up at night sometimes and wondered if he’d dreamt it.

‘You said that you found out about your daughter when you were contacted by lawyers? Was there a reason for that?’

Lewis felt his heart swell when he saw the concern in her beautiful eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him that way, he thought wistfully. He realised that he needed to terminate the conversation before he got in way too deep for his own good. Once he left The Beeches that would be the last he saw of Helen Daniels so there was no point wallowing in all that wonderful sympathy.

‘Unfortunately, Tessa was involved in a road accident and subsequently died of her injuries. She was living with some guy in Miami at the time, and after she died he decided that he didn’t want to be responsible for Kristy.’ He shrugged, trying to damp down the anger he felt whenever he thought about what had happened. ‘He took off one day and left Kristy in the apartment. Fortunately, a neighbour heard her crying and called the police, but from what they could gather she’d been on her own for almost a week by then.’

‘But that’s awful!’ Helen exclaimed. ‘How could anyone just abandon a young child?’

‘I’ve no idea. Anyway, once the authorities discovered that Tessa was dead, they put Kristy into care. It was only when the police finally tracked down the guy Tessa had been living with that my name cropped up. Tessa had told him I was Kristy’s father, so the lawyer who was working on the case got in touch with me. I flew out to Miami the following day and was granted custody of her.’

‘It must have been a huge shock for you, though.’

‘It was.’ He smiled wryly. ‘I’d never thought about having a family and all of a sudden I had a six-year-old daughter I had never even known existed.’

‘You could have had her adopted,’ she said, her eyes locked to his face in a way that would have bothered him if it hadn’t been for what she’d said. The fact that she believed him capable of giving up his own child made him see just how low an opinion she had of him, and it hurt to realise that, hurt far more than it should have done, bearing in mind that he barely knew her.

‘Kristy is my child and I would never put her up for adoption,’ he stated in a voice like steel. ‘I’ve enough to feel guilty about without adding that into the equation.’

‘But you didn’t even know that you had a daughter!’ she protested.

‘No, I didn’t know about her, but that isn’t an excuse for what’s gone on. The poor child has suffered enough heartache in her young life and I intend to do everything I can to make up for it.’

He looked straight into her eyes, wanting to convince her yet unsure why it mattered so much. ‘I’m going to do my best to be the perfect father to her, and if that means giving up my career and moving home then that’s what I shall do. The only person who matters now is Kristy and there is nothing I won’t do to make her happy!’