Loe raamatut: «Almost Heaven»
Grief weighed down his soul.
Cameron’s late wife had been gone four years, and the pain of heading home to an empty house still ate at him.
Is that going to change anytime soon, Lord?
The elevator inched to a halt, and the doors whispered open. The outside world beyond the long wall of lobby windows was dark, and he hated the thought of going out in it.
Then he saw Kendra through a glass partition in the far wall. The overhead light haloed her golden hair and caressed her creamy complexion. She looked so lovely.
Cameron supposed it was loneliness that made him look. He missed a woman’s soft and gentle presence in his life. He’d glimpsed plenty of women over the years, but not one of them made him feel as if the world had simply melted away until there was only her.
Kendra didn’t know he was watching as she leaned against the counter, turning to talk to her sister. She sparkled, laughing, tilting back her head to study the array of cheerful balloons floating just out of reach.
Looking heavenward, he couldn’t help thinking the good Lord had just given him his answer….
JILLIAN HART
makes her home in Washington State, where she has lived most of her life. When Jillian is not hard at work on her next story, she loves to read, go to lunch with her friends and spend quiet evenings with her family.
Almost Heaven
Jillian Hart
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
—Corinthians 13:7
Dear Reader,
Thank you for choosing Almost Heaven. It has been my pleasure to return to the McKaslin family and tell another sister’s story. Kendra aches for a family of her own but believes an earlier tragedy will keep her from trusting a man again. Thankfully, Cameron enters her life, a man as stalwart as the Montana mountains. He teaches her an important lesson: that true love is strong enough to heal any wound and bring us into the light.
Wishing you peace and a life filled with love,
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
It had been a long, hot day. Exhaustion dulled the edges of Kendra’s vision, but the familiar sight of her hometown fortified her, as it always did. The green of a well-kept park. The neat line of railroad tracks on one side of the main street and the tidy row of old-fashioned buildings on the other. The cheerful awnings of businesses. The friendly neon sign of her family’s coffee shop still burned a bright blue and green in the front window.
She glanced at the clock on the dashboard—thirty-four minutes past four. Maybe she’d stop and beg for food and drink so she wouldn’t have to find something in her practically empty cupboards at home. There was probably a box of her beloved macaroni and cheese, but she lacked the energy and the will to make it.
The brief blast of a siren startled her and she glanced in her side-view mirror. Sure enough, there was a patrol car behind her. Was she speeding? No, the speedometer’s needle was a hair past twenty. If anything she was going too slow.
Maybe the sheriff needed to go around her. Well, she was towing a full four-horse trailer. There was no oncoming traffic. Couldn’t he just pass her?
No, he stayed stubbornly behind her, not looking as if he intended to pass. That must mean he wanted her.
What did she do? Too many cars were parked along the street, so she signaled and crossed the yellow lines to the other side of the road. She hoped that wasn’t illegal or anything, but it wasn’t as if she had a choice.
The patrol car followed her over, lights flashing. Brace yourself, Kendra, here he comes.
The town sheriff stalked toward her. Gun on one hip, his powerful arms held to his sides, he walked with an athlete’s strength and confidence.
Cameron Durango. One of the last men she wanted to be alone with in the universe. Had he always looked this good in his uniform? Why hadn’t she noticed that before?
She was staring at him! And he was likely to notice that. What was wrong with her? She’d given up putting her faith in men a long time ago. It was a done deal, signed, sealed and delivered. A life decision she’d made, and that was that.
The last thing she should be noticing was how striking Cameron looked in his uniform. Get a grip, Kendra. He’s the sheriff. Nothing more. Nothing less. He arrests people. He pulls over perfectly innocent drivers for no reason at all.
His boots crunched in the gravel beside her pickup.
Don’t look at him. “I wasn’t speeding.”
“Hey, Kendra.” He whipped off his hat and the breeze ruffled the dark ends of his military short hair. “How are you doing this fine summer’s day?”
“Hot.”
“Yeah? A fine rig like this ought to have air-conditioning standard, right?”
“Sure, but I’m pulling a full load. I don’t want to overheat the engine.”
“I understand. I’d baby a new truck if I had one. You got this, what, a month ago?”
She stared straight ahead, not wanting to answer. Okay, she wasn’t rude by nature and she felt lame acting that way. But Cameron Durango knew something about her that nobody else did, not even her sisters.
It didn’t matter how fine he looked or how friendly he seemed, he reminded her of things best left forgotten.
Couldn’t he just go?
“Yeah,” she finally said. “That’s why I haven’t been driving around the truck I used to have, the one that kept breaking down on me.”
“Right.” Maybe he got the hint, because he paused, as if debating what to do next. Did he leave? No. He rested his forearms on the door of her truck. “Bet you’re wondering what you did wrong to get me on your tail?”
“No. I wasn’t speeding.” Maybe if she was difficult, he’d leave her alone. Ticket her or whatever he was going to do and be on his way. So she wouldn’t have to remember.
“I was sitting in the shade in my air-conditioning, tucked behind the Town Welcomes You sign, hoping to catch a hoard of speeding tourists and boost the town’s income, when you meander along, driving responsibly and under the limit.”
“You admit it.”
“I noticed you were about to lose a tire on your trailer and decided to leave my shady spot behind to come warn you.”
Was he trying to be friendly? And it bugged her because she didn’t want to like him. It would be way easier if he was going to unjustly ticket her, instead of help her.
She didn’t need his or any man’s assistance. “I’ve got doubles.”
“Still, you’re carrying a heavy load.”
“I checked all the tires before I left the auction.” He was right, and she realized the same thing herself, but was she going to tell him that? No. “Which tire?”
“Back right. Wouldn’t want you to have a blowout or anything. You could get hurt.”
He had kind eyes, dark and deep, and a rugged face. Not classically handsome but chiseled as if made from granite. He had a straight blade of a nose, an uncompromising mouth and a square jaw that gave him an air of integrity.
If he were mean, it would have been much easier not to like him. But he wasn’t. The worst thing about Cameron Durango was that he was a decent guy. He may carry a gun on his hip and look powerful enough to take down a two-hundred-pound criminal with a body blow, but he had a good heart.
Not that you could tell it from the outside.
Don’t think about that night. Cold snaked through her veins, where her heart used to be. If there had been anything redeeming about that horrible night when everything changed for her, it was Cameron’s kindness. He’d been truly kind, when she’d neither wanted it nor needed it.
Remembering, she couldn’t meet his gaze. Staring hard at the steering wheel, she ran her fingertip around the bottom of the rim. Since that night she hadn’t wanted to be alone with any man. Especially Cameron.
“I’ll get that changed. Thanks for letting me know. It was decent of you.”
“I try to be decent when I can. Especially to a pretty lady like you.”
The way he said it wasn’t flirtatious or anything, but he was sounding friendly. It made her start to shake.
She really wanted him to go. “Thanks again.”
But he didn’t leave. “Let me guess. You were at the sale today. The Bureau of Land Management’s auction.”
Was he trying to make small talk? It was probably a slow day for him. Hardly anyone was out and about in this heat, but still. She didn’t know Cameron well and that’s the way she wanted it. Could she be outright rude and tell him so? No.
“I saw the flier—it came to the office. You got wild mustangs back there?”
“Yes.”
She kept staring at her steering wheel. Icy sweat broke out on her palms. This was the way it was whenever she was alone with any man near her age.
Would it always be this way? Prayer had helped her; at least she didn’t shake so hard that he might notice.
“Wow. Mind if I take a peek at them?”
Oh, so he was interested in the horses. Kendra relaxed a little but the quaking didn’t stop. “Sure. Just be careful. They’re not used to people yet.”
“I’ll just look.” His grin was in his voice.
Kendra’s gaze flashed to the side mirror where he was ambling away, his boots striking the dirt at the side of the road with a muffled rhythm.
With his spine straight and shoulders squared, he looked invincible. Undefeatable. Like everything honest and good and all-American. Just as he’d been for her, a calm strength when the world was smashing apart around her.
Get a grip, Kendra. That night was a long time ago. It isn’t worth thinking about. Jerrod was gone and a part of the past. Look forward, not back.
Cameron crunched through the gravel as he returned. “Those are some fine-looking animals you got.”
“Thanks.” She appreciated Cameron’s help, but now she knew about the tire. She would fix it and be on her way—once he was on his. “I don’t want to hold you up. I know you have speeders to catch and tickets to write.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
Yes. “Here comes a car right now. You might need to check your radar. Could be income for the town.”
He peered in the direction of the luxury sedan creeping down the main street. “Mrs. Greenley? Nah, she’s driving under the limit, like she always does. I’ve clocked her for the better part of the six years I’ve worked in this town and never caught her speeding once. The town is safe from rampaging, careless drivers for a few more seconds, it looks like.”
“You can never be too sure. You go back to your speed trap and I’ll take care of the tire.”
“Afraid I can’t let you do that, Kendra.” Cameron planted his hands on his hips, emphasizing the power in his arms and the gun on his hip. “This is my jurisdiction, ma’am, and I believe there’s an ordinance that states I must aid stranded motorists in my town or suffer serious consequences.”
Her left eyebrow shot up. “You’re kidding.”
“Would I do that?” Absolutely. There wasn’t any such ordinance, but he wasn’t about to tell her that? “If I don’t make sure your vehicle’s safe to drive in this town, I’d be breaking my own laws.”
“What laws?”
“The ones that say I’d have to write myself a ticket.”
“Go ahead. I don’t mind.”
“I would.” He had her, he knew it by the twinkle in her pretty eyes. “Might even have to throw myself in jail and that’s not how I want to spend my day.”
“So, why would I care? I’m perfectly capable of changing the tire.”
“Yeah, but I have a flawless record. Not a single infraction to date. You wouldn’t want my reputation besmirched, would you?”
“Sure I would.”
Humor tugged at the corners of her soft, lush mouth. Cam felt some pride about that. Kendra McKaslin might look cool and unapproachable, but she seemed like a real nice lady.
He’d been trying to approach her for the last few months, but he had a lot of questions about horses. He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t want to look like a dummy. After all, a man had his pride.
But Kendra didn’t strike him as someone who’d made anyone feel dumb. She seemed as sweet as spring, with her long blond hair shimmering down her back like liquid gold in the sunlight. She’d grown up in one of the wealthier families in their humble valley, but was she snooty?
No. Down to earth, filled with common sense, Kendra was country-girl goodness soul-deep. He could feel it. He’d watched her kindness to her horses every time she’d ridden one of them into town on an errand to the store or to visit her family’s coffee shop.
She appeared to be real good with the animals. Everyone said she was the best in the area when it came to horsemanship. But he hadn’t gotten up his courage to talk to her.
Now was his chance. “I know you’re an independent kind of woman. You’re more than capable of changing that tire on your own.”
“So why are you still standing here?” The hint of her smile grew into a real one.
“I’ve got an election coming up. What would folks think if they see you stranded here in obvious need of help—”
“Stranded? I don’t think so!”
“Still, they’ll watch me drive off and leave you behind and draw their own conclusions. All folks will see is that their elected official abandoned a woman stuck along the side of the road, slacking off on his duties.”
“Like anyone would think you were a slacker.”
“I can’t risk it. Folks might vote for my opponent come September. I’d lose my job. Won’t be able to pay my bills. You don’t want to be responsible for that, do you?”
“Sure.” There were more sparkles in her pretty blue eyes.
She had a quiet kind of beauty, one that wasn’t only skin-deep.
His chest gave a strange hitch in the vicinity of his heart as he opened the truck’s door for her. That was odd, considering how he hadn’t felt much beside grief since Deb’s death. “Your sister’s sign is still on in the window. Why don’t you go in, say hello and get something cool to drink? Give me twenty minutes and I’ll have this taken care of.”
“That’s not right. It’s my trailer.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a slow day. I don’t see a lot of wild speeders or crime sprees on Thursday afternoons. It’s okay to let me do this, Kendra.”
He could see the argument coming. He’d learned to read people during his fifteen years wearing a badge. He saw a woman used to doing things herself. “If it bothers your conscience, then you can bring a batch of cookies or something by the station. My deputy has a sweet tooth you wouldn’t believe.”
She swept down from the seat with an easy grace that she didn’t seem aware of.
He was. It sure threw him for a loop.
Today she looked summery and girl-next-door fresh in a white tank top, a pair of jean shorts and slip-on tennis shoes. Her blond hair, streaked by time in the sun, was tied back in a long ponytail. She slipped her sunglasses from the top of her head onto her nose and circled around the rig to look at the damage.
“I think my spare went flat.” She said it wearily, more to herself than to him. Probably expecting some kind of reprimand.
Why would he do that? Didn’t a woman who worked hard to make her own living deserve a break? He sure thought so. “Zach’s at his garage. I’ll take the tire over for him to patch.”
“He’s my brother-in-law, and I can do it.”
“Toll House, no walnuts. I have a soft spot for butterscotch chips.
He left her standing there, watching him with a slack jaw as he yanked the jack from his cruiser’s trunk. “I’m helping you, no matter what. Just accept it.”
“I should help you.”
“Why? It would make me look bad. I’ve got my public image to think about. Voters care about that kind of thing.”
He didn’t care about his image, he worked hard to do the right thing and he was proud of his record. He had time, and in helping her maybe he’d find a way to approach her. Ask her professional opinion. “I’m not taking no for an answer. Your only option is to let me do my job.”
She studied him and the jack he was carrying and the nearly flat tire. “Fine. Thank you. The horses—”
“Will be fine. I’ve done this before.”
“Okay.”
She didn’t sound happy, but Cameron bet that she’d let him do it. He wasn’t about to budge, he’d been waiting for this chance forever, that’s what it felt like. If he had a choice, then he’d want her to stay and watch so they could talk while he worked.
He knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t hang around. She kept her distance from men, not just him, and with good reason.
He felt her sadness every time he was around her. Now maybe he was imagining it, because he’d been there to arrest Jerrod Melcher, and he saw how bad she’d been hurt. That was likely to make any woman wary about men for a long time.
It was understandable.
As he watched her cross the road, jaywalking, heading straight to her family’s coffee shop, a streak of pain jabbed through his heart. A widower was used to feeling a certain amount of pain down deep, but this was something different. Something that felt a lot like longing.
One thing was for sure. When Kendra looked at him, she didn’t feel any positive emotion. Not a chance. When she looked at him she remembered that night. He could feel that, too.
Perhaps he should just leave her alone. Ask Sally at the Long Horn Stables for help instead.
Frustrated, he got to work.
It was her trailer, she ought to be dealing with it. But that stubborn sheriff had refused to leave, so what was she going to do? Stand there and make small talk? She didn’t need his help and she was getting it anyway. It ate at her as the bell over the coffee shop’s door jangled.
The welcome breeze from the air-conditioning skimmed over her, but it didn’t cool her anger. Men were bossy, every one of them. Who did the sheriff think he was that he could just do what he wanted to her trailer?
Face it, you appreciate that he’s helping.
Sure, but it still bugged her. She was hot, exhausted, and dealing with a flat tire in over hundred-degree weather would have put her over the edge. Well, at least close to it.
Because of Cameron, she was able to rest for a few minutes instead of dealing with one more disaster in a doom-filled day. She didn’t want to be grateful to him. But she was.
See why it was a good idea to stay far away from men? Even the nice ones?
“Kendra? You look too hot, are you all right?” Gramma sat at the far end of the otherwise empty room, behind one of the cloth-covered tables. Ignoring her spread of papers and her open laptop, she examined Kendra over the lines in her bifocals. “Something is wrong. Why are you back so soon?”
“I’m fine and it’s past closing time.” Kendra flicked off the neon sign and turned the Open sign in the window to Closed. “How long have you been in here slaving over the bookkeeping?”
“Goodness, let me see.” She checked her gold wristwatch. “For much longer than I thought!”
“You lose track of time when you’re doing the books. I do the same thing.”
“I suppose so!” Gramma took off her glasses and wiped them on the corner hem of her stylish summer blouse. “I’ve lost two dollars and seventy cents I can’t find anywhere. I’d just finish the deposit and say, forget it. But it’ll be all I think about when I get home. Come, dear, sit down. You look as though you’ve got too much sun.”
“No need to fuss, I’m fine. I’m going to raid the kitchen and pray there are some leftovers in the fridge. I’m too beat to cook when I get home.”
“I knew it. You work too hard, sweetie. You can’t work every minute of every day.”
“I take a few minutes off now and then.”
“Don’t sass me, young lady. You’ve been skipping meals.”
“Not intentionally.”
Kendra ducked into the kitchen to avoid the lecture. She knew what was coming when Gramma got started. She loved her grandmother within an inch of her life, but how Gramma fussed! Kendra yanked open the industrial refrigerator and studied the contents. Jackpot!
Gramma’s sandals tapped on the floor, announcing her approach to the kitchen.
“I can do it myself.” Kendra pulled a bowl of chicken salad from the top shelf. “Do you want me to make you a sandwich, too?”
“Me? You’re the one needing to eat. Give me that. Where’s the mayonnaise?”
“I said I’d do it and I meant it.” Kendra wrapped her grandmother into a hug and breathed in the honeysuckle sweetness of her perfume. “You’ve had a long day, and you don’t need to make it longer by doing one single thing for me. You work too much.”
“I’ve got good help. The girls I’ve hired this summer have been a real blessing. There’s the macaroni salad you like in the bottom shelf. No, let me get it.”
Kendra snatched the big stainless-steel bowl from the shelf. “Out. Go back to your table. Shoo!”
“Nice try, but I wrote the book on bossy.” Gramma dug through the pantry and came up with a wrapped loaf of homemade bread. “We’ll both fix us something to eat while you tell me about your new horses.”
“You’re a tricky woman, Gramma.”
“Thanks, dear, I try. Hand me the serrated knife.”
Kendra did as she was asked and found two plates while she was digging through the dishwasher. “I won the bid for the prettiest mustangs I’ve gotten yet. One is as wild and mean as a bull, but the others have potential.”
“You bought a mean horse?” Gramma’s disapproval wreathed her soft, lovely face, as she cut thick slices of wheat-nut bread. “Is that safe?”
“He’s a stallion.”
“I don’t like the sound of that! Not at all. Boarding and training horses is one thing. But a stallion? How will you handle him? And he’s wild, to boot!”
“I have a little tiny eensy-beensy bit of experience with horses, remember?” Kendra twisted open the jar of mayo. “I’ve been riding since before I could walk.”
“I didn’t approve of that, either, the way your father would put you and your sisters on the backs of horses when you were nothing but toddlers!” Gramma’s eyes twinkled, though. “He must be a good-looking horse, if you bought him.”
“He’s a beauty. Bright chestnut coat. Perfect white socks. A long black mane and tail. And his lines…he’s got some Arabian in him.” Kendra sighed. “Of course, he gives new meaning to the word wild. I’m sure I can tame him, so don’t start worrying. I haven’t been killed by a horse yet.”
“Heavens, I should hope not! You do have a way with them. I don’t doubt that.” Gramma bit her lip as she layered meat mixture and cheese on a slice of bread. As if she were thinking better of saying anything more.
Kendra whipped the knife from her grandmother’s hand. “You go sit down. I’ll finish this up and bring you a cup of iced tea to the table. Go. Away with you.”
“You’re getting just as bossy as me. I like that.” Planting a kiss on Kendra’s cheek, she left the kitchen without further complaint.
That wasn’t like Gramma at all, but Kendra was too exhausted to dwell on it. She put away the sandwich makings, grabbed two bottles of iced tea from the case, shouldered through the swinging doors and into the silent shop.
With the wide bank of windows along the end wall, she had a perfect view of Cameron. He was rolling the tire across the street, apparently whistling as he went, looking like a hero in his navy-blue uniform.
“That Durango boy’s helpin’ you out, I see,” Gramma commented as she tapped keys on her computer. “Funny that you’d let a man do something like that for you.”
“Don’t go reading something into it that’s not there.”
“Is something there?”
How many times had they discussed this? “I’m not going to get married, you know. Ever. So don’t start getting your hopes up. The truth is, I’m so tired I can barely pick up my feet and Cameron offered to help me. He helps with this kind of thing all the time.”
“Which kind of thing would that be? A tire low on air? Or helping a very pretty eligible woman?” Gramma’s eyes twinkled as if she knew something Kendra didn’t.
“If you’re going to torture me about this, I’m taking my food and I’m leaving.” Kendra said it lightly, but she meant it.
The impenetrable titanium walls around her heart were sealed shut. They were going to stay locked tight. “I’m not interested in Cameron.”
“Then why, sweetie, is he fixing that tire for you?”
“Because he’s a sheriff and I had a long day in the hot sun and no lunch.”
She took a big bite of her sandwich to prove it.
“Fine. All right. I believe you.” She held up her hands helplessly. “You can’t blame a poor grandmother for hoping.”
“Oh, yes I can!”
“Only three of my granddaughters are married and have given me perfect grandchildren. There’s no crime in wanting more. Marge’s youngest girl married just last year and had a new baby boy last week. That makes for four grandchildren for her. I’ve got to keep up.”
Kendra rolled her eyes, her mouth too full to speak. What was the point? As if Gramma listened anyway. She had her definite opinions and nothing short of laser fire was going to change her mind.
“Cameron is certainly a good man, isn’t he? He’s so nice and courteous. Everyone raves on about what a fine sheriff he’s been.”
“Yes, I’m sure he’ll be reelected. Now, can we change the subject?”
“Look how handsome he is in his uniform. I have a weakness for men in uniforms myself. The first time I saw your grandfather in his dress blues…it does make a girl feel safe, doesn’t it?”
“Stop.” Laughter escaped anyway. How could she be mad at her grandmother who so obviously loved the idea of marriage and happily-ever-afters?
But it wasn’t for everyone. It even said so in the Bible. God chose different paths for everyone and some women were meant to be married and mothers.
She wasn’t. It hurt, but there wasn’t anything she could do to change the direction her life had taken.
It wasn’t as if she were alone.
Look at the blessings the good Lord had placed in her life. Her grandmother, her parents, her sisters, her friends and her horses. How many people actually got to do what they loved for a living? She’d always wanted her own riding stable, and that’s what she had. She wasn’t going to complain about her life. Not now. Not ever.
“Oh, where are the books off? This is the most aggravating thing on earth. Who invented bookkeeping, anyway? Whoever he is, he’s a very bad man.” Gramma’s frustration was good-natured as she held up her hand and gave the computer a death-ray glare. “I should just quit, but it’ll keep bothering me if I do.”
“You’re just tired. Let me take a peek.” Kendra pulled the ledger so it faced her. “It’s probably just a transposition.”
“You are simply a wonder, my dear. Thank you.”
As she ate, Kendra squinted at the numbers and tried to make her eyes focus. Minutes ticked by as she studied the long row of numbers and paired them against the deposit slip. It had to be a coincidence that she’d chosen a seat that faced the windows, right? She wouldn’t pick this spot on purpose because she had a perfect view of Cameron Durango kneeling in the hot sun, working alongside Zach, her brother-in-law, who must have come over to help.
He may be handsome and kind and dependable, sure, but the steel doors around her heart stayed locked.
“Where are the checks?” Kendra tore her gaze from the window and noticed her grandmother’s eyes were sparkling, as if she’d noticed where Kendra’s gaze kept straying. “Oh, I get it. You think I’m interested in the sheriff.”
“Oh, no. Of course not.” She was the perfect face of innocent grandmotherly denial. “I was just thinking what a blessing it is that God sends us what we need when we need it most.”
“And that cryptic comment means…”
“Oh, nothing about Cameron coming to help you when you needed it, of course. Heavens, no! I was referring to you walking through the door when I was ready to give up in frustration. The checks are here, in the bank bag.”
Kendra waited while her grandmother slid the small dark bag across the table. Liar. Whether Gramma admitted it or not, she wasn’t fooled one bit.
Why argue about it? There was no point. Her grandmother would come to understand in time and to accept Kendra’s choices in life.
Cameron Durango, no matter how striking and protective and capable he looked in his uniform, would never be one of her choices.
Why did that make her sad? She decided her barricades were weakening, probably because she was still so tired and hungry.
See? A girl needed to keep up her strength so she wasn’t susceptible to random, pointless emotions. It was pointless to feel sad about what could never be made right.
She bit into the second half of her sandwich and went to work comparing the thick pile of checks against the deposit slip.
