Loe raamatut: «Healed By Their Unexpected Family»

CHAPTER ONE

‘SO, YOU’RE THE woman I’m about to impregnate? Nice to see you again.’

‘Hello, Mr Garrett.’ Kayla O’Connell shook hands with the man her brother, Liam, and his husband, Tom, had set her up with for this baby-making exercise.

So much for this remaining nothing more than a business transaction when one firm handshake, one touch from him was enough to make her weak at the knees. She would rather not have him involved in this at all. It would have been easier to do it with a stranger. Meeting Jamie at her brother’s wedding had been sufficient to rattle her.

‘Oh, Kayla, I would’ve thought we were on first-name terms by now. Jamie’s fine.’

Even though his slow, sexy smile had her transfixed, that smooth charm he possessed always made her nervous. It reminded her of her parents and the façade they’d used to put on for the rest of the world to hide the multitude of sins committed behind closed doors. He was easy on the eye, but he knew it, and took way too much enjoyment in the fact she blushed every time he came near her.

However, since he was Tom’s big brother there was no way of avoiding him. ‘Thanks for coming, Jamie.’

‘You know I’d do anything you asked. All you have to do is give me the word.’ He held her gaze a second longer than necessary, sending shivers all over her body at the underlying suggestion. What scared her more than Jamie’s blatant flirting with her was her reaction to it. But rather than admonishing him for his suggestive comments, she had to use all her strength not to give into the temptation he embodied.

‘We’re not doing this for me. It’s for our brothers and that’s who we should be focusing on.’ Kayla couldn’t take her eyes off him as he sat down in the chair opposite, loosened his navy and silver striped tie and undid the top button on his shirt, revealing that small patch of skin at his throat. The picture in her mind took on a whole new explicit nature, transporting the scene into a bedroom rather than a busy London café.

Clearly, her body had gone into panic mode about this surrogacy idea if she was fantasising about the father-to-be. Who, in ordinary circumstances, she would’ve run a mile from. Lately, she’d gone for safe guys, who never really lit her fire but she knew would never hurt her. Self-preservation after abusive parents and an ex-boyfriend who’d thought he could control her. Thank goodness she’d had her brother’s support in helping her realise Paul had gradually been taking over, manipulating her into doing what he wanted and leaving her scared to question him.

It had been a blow to realise she’d reverted back to that submissive behaviour she’d employed to keep her parents happy rather than face the consequences. Trust wasn’t something she gave easily, and Paul had taken what was left from her.

It was no wonder her relationships since hadn’t lasted, because she couldn’t bring herself to fully invest in them in case history repeated itself. She’d been content being single and not having to worry about anyone except herself. Kayla would go as far as to say she’d never get into another relationship again and certainly had no inclination towards starting a family of her own. That was why being around Jamie was so difficult. She might be attracted to him, but she also knew he was the type of man capable of breaking hearts. His brother had told her as much.

‘Of course, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other’s company too, does it?’ He reached across the table to take her hand and stroked his thumb across her fingers. She could only watch, dumbstruck, knowing she couldn’t give an answer without incriminating herself.

A shuffling by the table alerted her to someone else bewitched by her companion. The young girl carrying over his coffee hovered long after she’d set the cup down, openly staring at him.

‘Thank you.’ He turned on a full-watt grin that sent the waitress scurrying away again with a giggle. Jamie had that cheeky glint in his brown eyes Kayla was sure made most women swoon, although she knew he wasn’t the settling-down type either. That was one of the reasons he’d apparently agreed to do this. Kayla directed her thoughts back to the surrogacy, since that was the reason they were actually here.

‘So, I know you’re a respected GP in your practice, a partner. Tom told me you raised him after your parents both died, and you’ve said yourself you don’t want anything to do with this baby when it arrives.’ It wasn’t important how hot his skin felt against hers or that he’d ignored every other woman at the wedding, trying to capture her attention. For these purposes, all she needed to know was that he had brains as well as good looks and that he wouldn’t be hanging around driving her to distraction once his part of the deal was over.

‘That’s not as brutal as it seems on the surface. I’m happy to help the newly-weds start a family but I’m not interested in being a father myself. I don’t mind being the fun uncle, though. Do you have a problem with that?’ He cocked his head to one side, eyebrow raised as he tried to rile her. She wasn’t going to rise to it. Even if he was making sexy eyes at her, causing her to tingle in all sorts of places. Yes, she did have a problem with it.

Perhaps this had been a bad idea, but she’d thought they should at least discuss what they expected from this arrangement. In Jamie’s case, apparently that was nothing. He was primarily going to be the sperm donor. Perhaps with the odd appearance for birthdays and family get-togethers.

She couldn’t criticise when that was as involved as she wished to be in the baby’s life too. In her case, a loving auntie who was free to come and go as she chose. She was the surrogate, an incubator only for this baby, because any idea of family beyond her brother terrified the life out of her. Their parents’ tyranny had made her realise the damage a person could do to a child and she didn’t want that level of responsibility. Liam and Tom were two of the nicest men on earth and a child would be lucky to have them as parents.

‘Not at all. I was just checking.’ She sipped her herbal tea and wished the others would hurry up and join them to ease the tension.

She tried to forget their first meeting and how flustered she’d been around him. A matter he’d taken great satisfaction in and flirted with her outrageously until she’d demanded he stop. He obviously wasn’t used to women saying no to him, her request amusing him all the more. The truth was she’d been afraid of reacting to his advances when her body had been on fire for him after just a few suggestive comments. He wasn’t her type. Actually, she didn’t have a type because there wasn’t a man alive she was willing to trust.

Of course, their brothers had been blissfully unaware of their sizzling chemistry, so wrapped up in the happiness of their big day. When they’d proposed Jamie as the sperm donor for the surrogate baby she had agreed to carry for them, she’d been unable to find it in her to object to the idea.

‘I never thought my little brother would be the first to get married and have a family.’ He shook his head, the affection for his sibling shining brightly in his smile.

‘It was a lovely wedding.’ The grooms had spared no expense in sharing their happy day with their friends. They’d taken their vows in the Royal Observatory in Greenwich. Toasted with champagne in the courtyard over the Meridian Line, where the east and west hemispheres met. Later, they’d had their meal in the Octagon Room under the stars. Those still standing had gone on to party in a nearby hotel, and booked rooms for the night. The whole day had been magical.

‘Amazing. I had concerns it might be a bit...cheesy but I suppose some might have called it romantic.’ He leaned across the table as he said it, reminding her of the telescope viewing she’d done with Jamie right there beside her. With him so close she’d been oblivious to anyone else in the room.

As the grooms’ family, they’d spent the majority of the day in close proximity but that was the moment she’d become aware of him. By that time of the evening, his perfectly groomed hair had had its curl back and he’d had a shadow of a beard bristling over his once clean-shaven jaw. He’d shed his tux jacket and untied his bow tie so it hung loosely around his neck. It wouldn’t have taken much to tug on the ends and pull him in for a kiss. One she’d known would be hot when he’d been giving her his undivided attention all day. Thank goodness that had been the moment Tom and Liam had announced they were moving the party to the hotel and saved her from herself.

‘The food was good too.’

‘The first dance was my particular highlight.’ Clearly, he wasn’t going to let her forget their more intimate moments of the day.

That first dance, when Jamie had swept her up on the dance floor at the happy couple’s insistence they join them, had indeed been memorable. Those three or four minutes in his arms, their bodies pressed close together swaying in time to the music, had been heavenly. When he’d whispered in her ear, asked if she wanted to come up to his room, she’d almost agreed. Her hormones would’ve followed him across the dance floor and into his bed, but her head and her wounded heart wouldn’t allow it. That was when she’d known she’d had to stop his flirting with her and once the song had ended, she’d made sure to keep her distance from him. Until now.

‘It was good to see Tom and Liam so in love. They’re going to make great parents.’

Jamie sighed, perhaps resigning himself to the fact she didn’t want to be reminded of the chemistry they’d experienced that night. Something which apparently hadn’t dissipated since they’d last seen each other.

‘Tell me, Kayla, what is it you’re hoping to achieve by offering yourself up as a surrogate? You’re a midwife, aren’t you? Surely this isn’t a situation you would usually encourage?’ He lounged back in his chair, crossed his long legs at the ankles and made himself comfortable whilst he turned the spotlight back on her. It was a safer topic of conversation for her than the wedding night.

‘I’m a doula now. I left my position as a midwife so I could give more support to my expectant mothers. It’s none of my business what the story behind their pregnancy is but it is my job to be supportive of their choices. I just want parents and babies to be happy. The same goes in this instance too.’ She would move in with the guys for the duration of the pregnancy, to keep them involved throughout, then hand over the baby so they could start their happy little family. Something she and Liam had missed out on their entire lives.

‘Do you have a problem with that?’ Her brother’s sexuality was a touchy subject for her and she was very protective of him despite being the younger of the two.

It had been their parents’ reaction to him coming out as gay which had finally given her the push to leave that toxic environment with him and move to London from their small village in Northern Ireland. They’d spent their entire childhoods cowed in fear of their disciplinarian parents, but it was when their mother and father had disowned their own son she’d seen them for the monsters they really were.

Jamie set his coffee cup back on the table and held his hands up. ‘Not at all.’

‘Good. Then we’re both on the same page.’ This baby was going to share the traits of both its parents and she wanted to be certain there weren’t some dodgy conscience-free genes about to be introduced.

‘I wouldn’t do this for just anybody. It’s not as though I make weekly deposits down at the local sperm bank and get off on the fact there could be dozens of Jamie Juniors running around out there. Tom asked me to do this because he can’t and with me as the donor it means he still has a biological connection with the baby. The same way Liam has because you’re the egg donor.’

‘I have my own reasons for agreeing.’ Liam deserved to have some happiness and though she hadn’t been able to do anything in the past to help, she was in a position to do it now. It was information Jamie didn’t need to know. Her past was none of his business.

‘Oh? You’re not doing it simply out of the goodness of your heart, then? Like me?’ He was making fun of her because she was taking this seriously. She wished he would. It would make her feel better to know the father of this baby was sensible, reliable and stable. Even if he wasn’t going to be an active participant.

‘If you just wanted to have a kid, you should’ve taken me up on my offer at the hotel.’ The man winking at her, and setting her body aflame with desire, didn’t fit in with the profile supplied by those who knew him better than her.

From the glowing accounts she’d heard before they’d met, she’d expected a deadly serious, old-beyond-his-years father figure, who’d raised Tom as his own son and was giving him away at the wedding. She’d known he wasn’t keen on long-term relationships, but she’d put that down to his busy work schedule. After getting to know him she wondered if there was anything more to him than a rakish playboy who thought nothing of propositioning her. Either way, she’d be having words with her brother about his suitability for this role.

‘Don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind.’ The truth slipped out before she could catch it. She took another sip of her tea to keep her from saying anything else to feed his widening grin.

It wasn’t that she’d never been in the company of a handsome man before, or had one come on to her. She’d been getting better at handling herself in those situations because she was sick of pretending to be someone she wasn’t. Her early years had been spent trying to be the perfect daughter to prevent angering her parents. The hangover of that learned behaviour as an adult had seen her enter into a disastrous relationship where she’d spent most of it trying, and failing, to meet her partner’s expectations. She was done trying and didn’t need the drama of having another man in her life. If only all her other body parts agreed with her brain.

‘Well now, wouldn’t it make more sense to cut out all the intrusive medical procedures and do things the old-fashioned way?’

Now her head was filled with explicit images of Jamie naked except for the tangled sheets they were entwined in. That longing that she’d convinced herself had been a one-off the last time they’d met began again inside her.

With those brown eyes sparkling with mischief and promise, she was tempted to take him up on the offer. Neither of them wanted some grand love affair but it was obvious they had a connection that would make sparks fly.

‘I suspect sense wouldn’t be playing a big part in that scenario. More like lust.’ One of them had to be honest about this attraction they were dancing around. Pretending that this talk of a secret liaison was for their brothers’ benefit wasn’t fooling anyone.

She swallowed hard and tried to pull herself together. When this pre-conception meeting had been first suggested, she’d sworn not to let him literally charm the pants totally off her this time. Now she was swearing at herself for getting caught under his spell again.

‘Would that really be so bad?’ His dark gaze rendered her immobile now that he’d made her so hot she’d melted into her chair.

‘There’s no guarantee we’d conceive that way.’ She was scrabbling for excuses now when her head was full of the possibilities available to her with him. The alternative conception method Jamie was suggesting sounded so much more enjoyable than the one planned that she was afraid she was going to take him up on it.

‘It doesn’t have to be a one-time offer. I’m prepared to put the hard work in to make this happen.’ His voice dropped so low she could feel it deep in the pit of her stomach, and lower...

‘I, uh...’ She had no words. Her brain was mush, her mouth dry. It had been a while since she’d shared a bed with anyone. Longer still since she’d had this level of passion stirred up inside her.

Despite all the promises she’d made to herself about staying away from men, and this one in particular, all she could think about was grabbing him by the hand and finding the nearest hotel room. At this stage she wasn’t even thinking of a baby, only her own pleasure. That wasn’t part of the deal.

Jamie couldn’t believe she was considering his outrageous proposal, or that he’d made it. There was something about Kayla that intrigued him and made him want to push her buttons. When he’d first spotted her at the wedding, he’d known this was the sister Liam had spoken about fondly. The pretty blonde in the off-the-shoulder, gypsy-style floral dress had to be the woman he’d heard loved animals too much to eat them and enjoyed nothing more than meditating and clearing something called chakras. From a distance, she’d seemed so calm and serene and totally in character with the Kayla who’d been described to him. Until she’d spoken to him. Then the carefree, laid-back, spiritual doula he’d heard about had changed into a tightly wound spitfire.

Only around him though, he’d noted. From a distance he’d watched her charm everyone else with her easygoing nature and was amused by her reaction when he was around. Her pale skin flushed a dramatic scarlet when he spoke to her and she couldn’t get away from him quickly enough. He might have taken offence if it weren’t for the surreptitious glances he noticed she kept shooting his way. Her interest in him seemed to mark a change in his behaviour too. Ordinarily he wasn’t quite so...abrasive.

Now she appeared more open to the idea of a fling his juices were flowing. When the air between them was still so charged with sexual awareness in the middle of a coffee shop, he knew they could set the sheets on fire together.

‘You know, my place isn’t far from here and my car’s just outside...’ he tossed out as he finished his coffee. It was madness, yet that flash of lust he’d seen when he’d mentioned the idea was unmistakable and irresistible. As was the subconscious licking of her lips and toying with her unruly blond hair. All signs she was interested in him. Along with the fact she was yet to tell him where to get off thinking she was the type of woman who’d agree to some afternoon hanky-panky with someone she hardly knew.

‘Jamie, I...uh—’

He was expecting her to turn him down, but she set down her cup with trembling hands and was beginning to lift her handbag from the floor as if she was getting ready to go with him. Jamie unhooked his jacket from the back of the chair and dug for his car keys in the pocket. This was the most spontaneous, reckless thing he’d ever done. That included volunteering to be a sperm donor for his infertile brother.

‘I’m so glad we caught you two!’

At the sound of Liam’s loud Northern Irish voice, they jumped apart. As though they’d literally been caught in the act. Chance would have been a fine thing.

‘Actually, we were just leaving.’ He held out a hand to help Kayla up but as she glanced between the two men Jamie knew the moment had passed. For now.

‘You can’t go yet. I’ve only got here and Tom’s on his way. We want to catch up on all the gossip and tell you what’s happening at the clinic.’ Liam pulled out a chair and invited himself to join them. The couple had been heavily involved in a project out in Vietnam setting up facilities for medical care in impoverished areas of Central Vietnam and it would be rude of them not to stay and listen to their latest news.

Kayla couldn’t even meet his eye now, so Jamie had no choice but to sit back down and quell the excitement that had been escalating until his brother-in-law crashed their party.

Tom arrived shortly after. ‘Sorry I’m late. The trains are a nightmare as usual. Got held up leaving Victoria Station because of a signal failure or something. What have I missed?’

He gave Jamie a half-hug and kissed Kayla on the cheek before pulling over another chair from a nearby table and squeezing in beside his husband.

‘Nothing. Unfortunately,’ he mumbled. It was difficult not to sound ticked off when these two had killed the mood and left Kayla glaring at him for saying so.

‘Good. Kayla thought we should meet up to discuss any qualms anyone had about the process. Is there anything we should know about?’ Tom’s question was met only with silence.

They hadn’t got around to listing the pros and cons about the baby idea when they’d been busy flirting up a storm. Kayla didn’t strike him as the type who’d stay silent if she had a problem and, since he’d been on board from day one, Jamie didn’t see the point in making them sweat.

‘Nope. We’re ready and willing to get our baby-making on. Where do we sign?’ His answer clearly delighted the two men, who grasped each other’s hands.

‘Kayla? You’re the one who’ll be doing all the hard work. Now you’ve had a chance to talk it over with Jamie, are you happy for us to push ahead?’ Even Liam sounded nervous about his sister continuing with her commitment and he didn’t know Jamie had just propositioned her.

Any hint of sexual attraction towards him seemed to have evaporated since she was still frowning at him for his earlier indiscreet remark. ‘Jamie has made it clear he’s not the sort of person interested in committing to this beyond his ability to fill a plastic cup. I think you should get that down in writing in case he changes his mind again.’

Wow. He hoped it was sexual frustration causing her to lash out too. If she really believed he was the unreliable, flaky type who’d mess his brother around, she knew nothing about him at all. He’d spent his whole adult life raising and providing for his kid brother. That was why he’d no intention of marrying or having kids of his own any time soon. Now Tom was married and starting a family, Jamie was free of responsibility. He no longer had a dependant to think of with every decision he made, and he didn’t think it was selfish of him to want a little quality time for himself.

He couldn’t be sure if she’d formed her disapproval of him at the wedding or this afternoon when he’d made a pass at her and hadn’t followed through, but it was no longer important. Once he’d done his part behind closed doors he’d walk away with a clear conscience and wouldn’t have to set eyes on her again.

If she was as sensitive as she appeared, he’d be better off letting her despise him. There was no point in getting involved with someone who’d read more into a fling than he was willing to give. Jamie had been there, done that, and wasn’t in a hurry to repeat the experience. The same could be said about his attitude to fatherhood.