Loe raamatut: «The Doctor's Forbidden Fling»

CHAPTER ONE

IN VIOLET DEMPSEY’S experience the family room in a hospital department was where good news and hope came to die. It was in one of these seemingly innocuous side rooms she’d learned of her mother’s fate and now she was waiting to hear of her father’s too. He was fighting for his life in the cardiac care unit down the corridor while she was staring at the wall waiting for that ominous knock at the door.

She knew how crucial the first few hours after a heart attack were and she’d spent them trying to organise a flight back to Northern Ireland from London. Even that relatively short drive from Belfast to the Silent Valley Hospital in County Down had seemed like an eternity when her father was so close to death.

Their relationship was strained to say the least, since she refused to conform to her role as the daughter of an earl, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care. After watching her mother’s struggle to fit into society life, Violet had simply decided to take her own path rather than the one her father had paved for her. They’d barely spoken since.

The tap on the door still made her jump even though she’d been expecting it. This was the reckoning. Life or death. Her stomach clenched as the door opened and the harbinger of impending doom swooped in. Except this was no po-faced stranger invading the already claustrophobic space.

‘Nate?’

He was taller, broader and better groomed than she remembered but she’d recognise that dimpled smile anywhere. The hardest thing she’d ever had to do was walk away from that handsome face twelve years ago. She had no clue what he was doing here but he’d always had that knack of knowing exactly when she’d needed him.

‘Hello, Violet. Or should I say Lady Violet? It’s been a while.’ He closed the door behind him and took the seat opposite her. It was so like Nate to plonk himself in the middle of her problems without a formal invitation.

‘It has, but as I recall you were never one to stand on ceremony. Violet is just fine.’ She hoped he was teasing her rather than trying to rile her when he understood better than anyone how much she hated her title.

They hadn’t parted on the best of terms, on any terms really since she’d left without a word of explanation. Although he would have just cause to turn his back on her after what had happened, or even want a showdown to confront her about her behaviour, she was counting on him cutting her some slack in the circumstances. The old Nate would always have put her needs first and it was odd enough trying to come to terms with the fully formed man version of her childhood companion without finding out he might’ve completely changed character since their last meet too. Especially as she was just as attracted to Nate the adult.

The dark blond floppy hair had been tamed into a dapper short back and sides, the boyish face now defined with a sleek jawline and dusted with enough stubble to be fashionable and sexy. The son of Strachmore Castle’s domestic staff had apparently swapped his hard-wearing flannel shirts for more tailored, expensive attire. He could easily have moved in her family’s circle of friends now. If either of them had ever wanted that. One impulsive teenage kiss had effectively ended their friendship and sent Violet scurrying off to London before she committed to something that could never have worked.

Nate cleared his throat and she realised she’d been staring longer than an old friend ought to. The heat started to build in her cheeks as she recalled their last meet when they had ventured into new realms of their relationship.

‘So... I assume you’re here at your father’s behest? He told me he was the one who phoned for the ambulance.’ She steered the conversation, and her mind, away from dangerous territory. There was nothing like the thought of disapproving parents to pour cold water on certain heated moments that should be left in the past.

Nate leaned forward in the chair, forcing Violet to meet those hazel eyes she’d forgotten were so easy to get lost in. ‘It was Dad who found him, but that’s not why I’m here. This chat is of a more...professional nature. I’m a doctor here. Your father’s cardiologist, in fact.’

She opened her mouth to tell him to stop messing about, then closed it again when she saw how serious he was. There was a ghost of a memory of the sister in charge mentioning a Dr Taylor but she’d never imagined this scenario in her wildest dreams.

‘I didn’t even know you’d gone to medical school,’ she blurted out before she realised how bad that sounded. Cold. As though the spoilt brat with the privileged upbringing had swanned off and never looked back. That their time together had meant nothing to her.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t cared, or thought about him, over the years. Quite the opposite. She’d been afraid she’d become too interested in the life and times of Nate Taylor. For the sake of her new independent life away from her family’s estate, she’d deemed it necessary to sever all ties with the one person who could’ve convinced her to stay.

‘I mean, I keep contact with home to a bare minimum.’ She wanted to justify her ignorance of his success in her absence. Of course she wasn’t vain enough to imagine he’d spent all this time tending the grounds with his father, waiting for her return. She simply hadn’t thought of him as being so...ambitious.

‘I decided medicine would be a better paid, more respected profession compared to following family tradition into service.’ There was that same old chip on the shoulder that had dominated conversation between them for hours in the old boathouse. Obviously their determination to branch away from the routes their parents had chosen for them had shaped both of their lives. For the better.

‘You’ve certainly done well for yourself.’ Not that it made a difference to her. Nate was a good person at heart, no matter what salary he brought home. The very reason she’d needed to create some distance between them. He’d deserved better than getting mixed up in the hell that was society life when her main goal had been to escape it.

‘I’m sure I’ve surprised a few people round here by working my way out of a minimum-wage lifestyle. Now, I hear you’ve gone into nursing yourself so I’m sure you’ll understand the seriousness of your father’s condition.’ He was definitely pricklier than she remembered and not above shaming her by displaying greater knowledge of her achievements than she had of his.

Violet’s inner teenager with the schoolgirl crush couldn’t help but wonder if he’d specifically sought out that information about her, or if his mother had simply been bending his ear. As the housekeeper at Strachmore, Mrs Taylor liked to keep her finger on the pulse, and that extended even as far as London. Every now and then Violet fielded prying phone calls from her father’s well-meaning employee and, although she tried to keep details of her new life to a minimum, snippets of her successes and failures tended to slip through. The failures mostly related to relationships when the purpose of these communications was primarily to see if Violet had found herself a husband yet. Not in this lifetime. To her, marriage meant giving up everything you were to make another person happy and she’d seen first-hand the damage that could do. The fact she was here without her mother was proof enough it didn’t work.

‘Mental health is more my area of expertise.’ Violet had felt so powerless after her mother had taken her own life she’d wanted to train in an area where she could make a real difference. It could be a challenging role at times but one that brought its own rewards. She was doing her best to emotionally save lives, if not physically like Nate.

That little nugget apparently was news to him, as his raised eyebrows finally gave an indication he felt something more than indifference to her.

‘I guess that’s...understandable and admirable.’

The compliment was hard won. Not that Violet had chosen her profession to gain brownie points from anyone, but Nate seemed reluctant to give her credit for getting off her backside to work instead of languishing in that house. It was another reminder they’d left those summer afternoons planning their escape far behind.

‘Us kids done good.’ For old times’ sake she decided to praise them both for doing exactly what they’d said they would and breaking free from their parents’ hold.

Although, her father would’ve been appalled by her murder of the English language after paying for her elocution lessons. That was exactly why she’d relished doing it so frequently during her adolescence. Credit where it was due though, those hours spent improving her pronunciation had probably made her transition to London easier than sounding like a Northern Irish Eliza Doolittle. Perhaps she owed the old man some credit even if it had felt as if he was trying to force her to be someone she wasn’t at the time.

‘And yet here we are...’

She knew he was trying to get her to focus back on what was happening here and now but the words held a different meaning for her. No matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to completely separate her world from her father’s.

‘Okay, give it to me straight. Is he going to make it?’ At some point she was going to have to apologise for running out on him but that would mean having to explain why she’d done it. It wasn’t the time or place for that intense personal conversation, given the reason they were both here.

The scowl marring Nate’s brow was further indication that her father was as bad as she’d feared. ‘As you know, your father has suffered a myocardial infarction—a heart attack. He was unresponsive when the paramedics arrived and they had to resuscitate him on scene.’

It was no wonder Mr Taylor’s message had been so fragmented and frantic. Technically, her father had died. She really didn’t know how to feel about that. Since her mother had passed away Violet had resented him—for the way he’d treated her and for not being the one to have gone in her place. Now she was faced with the possibility of losing him too, things didn’t seem so clear-cut. When you stripped away the bad memories and anger, he was still her father. She was starting to understand why her mother hadn’t been able to simply walk away when the going got too rough. Sometimes having a conscience could be a terrible thing.

‘A heart attack,’ she repeated. Even though she’d heard it from others, coming from Nate somehow made it more real.

He nodded. ‘It’s been confirmed by blood tests. The increased levels of cardiac enzymes have indicated the presence of damage to the heart muscle. We’ll continue taking bloods every six to eight hours as well as running electrocardiograms, ECGs, to monitor his heart’s electrical activity and make sure there are no further complications. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours will be crucial. Our first line of treatment would usually be emergency angioplasty to widen the arteries and allow easier blood flow to the heart. Unfortunately your father has proved...opposed to that idea.’

Nate didn’t sugar-coat it. He didn’t need to. They both knew she preferred straight talking to well-meaning platitudes. That way she wouldn’t get hurt by hidden truths further down the line. Such as finding out her mother’s overdose hadn’t been as accidental as she’d first been led to believe.

It was a typical response from her father to ignore advice and insist he knew better than everyone. This time it could cause his own death instead of someone else’s.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, batting away those old feelings flooding back and that helplessness at not being able to shake her father into facing facts. It hadn’t worked for her mother so her chances after all this time were slim.

‘Do we know what caused it?’ She knew nothing of his lifestyle these days but she doubted his love of whiskey and cigars had diminished since she’d last seen him. He was a man who did as he pleased and sod the consequences.

‘There’s no family history of heart disease that we know of and no current health problems, I understand. We’ll know more after we run a few tests. For now, our priority is limiting the damage to the heart.’

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t give the nurses any more information.’ She grimaced, imagining the low opinion the staff were already forming of the absent daughter who couldn’t give them any insight into her own father.

‘It’s all right. I understand things have been...tricky between you both. We’ve pieced together what we could in the meantime.’

No doubt the Taylors’ close relationship with her father had played a part in gathering that information. Violet didn’t begrudge the bond the families had, but it sometimes made her feel inadequate, superfluous to requirements. Indeed, no one had ever needed her until now. Even now she wasn’t sure how her presence would be received by either side of the class divide.

‘Can I see him?’ No matter how fractured their relationship had been since her mother’s death, or how frustrating he was, he was the only family she had left. Just because she wasn’t the daughter he wanted didn’t mean she’d stopped caring about him. It simply made it more difficult.

Nate bounced back up onto his feet. ‘I might be able to pull a few strings and get you a couple of minutes with him.’

The way he’d been reacting to her she was surprised he was willing to do anything other than list the facts of her father’s condition. She figured this one must be for old times’ sake—the days before things had got complicated and she’d made him despise her.

Determined to make the most of this breakthrough, she followed him into CCU, bobbing up and down like a meerkat keeping watch for predators as she tried to locate the patient. Nate strode through the ward with an air of confidence and authority she’d never seen in him before. It suited him. She had a sense of pride in him as patients and staff alike sat up straighter as he walked by. Finally people other than her had realised his worth in this world.

She zoned out the blue flashes of nurses zipping by and the hospital beds occupied by ill strangers to hone in on her father. He was in the top left-hand corner of the room, by the window. At least he’d only have one immediate neighbour to complain about when he was back to his grouchy self. The Earl Dempsey would not be happy to find himself on an NHS ward surrounded by the great unwashed when he woke instead of some private hospital he’d happily pay through the nose for. Tough. When all was said and done, Nate and his colleagues were all that was keeping him alive.

‘He’s a little out of it at the moment due to the morphine we’ve given him to reduce the pain.’ Nate led her to the bedside and for the first time in her life Violet felt sorry for her father. The man who’d virtually driven her mother to death in the pursuit of gaining a higher status in society now looked like any other old man lying there in his hospital gown, his white hair matted to his head and tubes and wires covering every inch of him.

She couldn’t miss the monitors charting his vital signs, the IVs pumping life-saving drugs into his system, or the oxygen mask keeping him breathing, but she didn’t cry. Nate’s shoulder was safe from her tears these days. That display of emotion was reserved for the privacy of her own home where no one could witness her weakness. There was no way she was going to end up like her vulnerable mother, letting others take advantage of her. She was stronger than that. She’d had to be.

* * *

‘What are his chances?’ Violet was so matter-of-fact, so devoid of emotion, Nate was concerned she might be in shock and he’d have to treat her too. Then this night really would be complete.

Until now, he’d only seen her act this coldly once before. He knew she hadn’t visited home since leaving for university but this was still her father lying here on the brink of death. The girl he’d grown up with had years of fear and hurt built up inside her because of this man, whether she loved him or not. There ought to be some sort of reaction to finding he could die without ever resolving the past.

He’d held back from saying those things that had sprung to mind the minute he’d known she was in the building, all of them prefaced with ‘why?’. He’d had no choice but to pick himself back up and get on with life after her disappearing act but that didn’t mean he’d stopped asking himself what he’d done to drive her away.

Seeing her again brought conflicting emotions to the fore. That broken-hearted teenager who still haunted his relationships would probably always hold a candle for her but with that came the hurt of her abandonment and that dismissal of his feelings for her.

Instead of acknowledging his declaration of love for her, or reciprocating, she’d walked away and refused to see him again before she’d left for London. It had been the only time she hadn’t turned to him for advice, or confided her plans. The only time she’d turned her back on him instead of leaning on him for support. Although her rejection had cut him deeply, he’d tried to turn it into a positive. If he’d carried on in that vein, as an emotional crutch for her, he would’ve remained stagnant at Strachmore in his parents’ footsteps. They’d given the best years of their lives to the running of the castle, sacrificing everything else in their loyalty to the Dempseys.

Despite his father’s view that they owed the family some sort of non-existent debt that included tying the next generation of Taylors to the Earl’s needs, Nate had sworn not to get drawn into that trap. His parents might have conceded some of their freedom to maintain their positions but he was pretty sure sacrificing their firstborn hadn’t been included in the terms and conditions of their contracts. This was his life, and he’d had ambitions beyond the Strachmore estate.

Violet had been the one flaw in that plan. He’d probably have given up all of his hopes and dreams to be with her. It still hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t been enough. Her actions had been confirmation he needed to do something with his life beyond the estate and he owed her for giving him that final push. That was partly why he’d insisted on speaking to her himself tonight.

He’d often imagined the moment their paths would cross again. Every medical exam he’d taken and passed with flying colours had been his way of getting his own back, proof he had been worthy of her after all. He mightn’t have been born into money but with hard work he’d earned it, along with a good reputation. She would’ve seen that for herself if she’d shown any faith in him and stuck around.

There were many points in his career where he’d been spurred on with the thought of being able to flaunt his success some day. As if she were a loser in a game show and he were showing her what she could have won. If money and status had been all that mattered to her when he’d only had love to give, he knew she’d be kicking herself to find out he had it all now.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious as to how the years had treated her too. If her mother’s death had changed her emotionally, life in London had certainly transformed her physically. Although she’d hate it, her noble heritage shone through in every step she took. The once waist-length raven hair was now styled in a sleek bob, and her skinny frame, although still slender, definitely had curves in all the right places. She was every inch the sophisticated woman about town even in her casual butt-hugging jeans and silky polka-dot blouse. However, her new look and altered attitude couldn’t hide the real Violet from him. Those blue eyes, the colour of a stormy winter’s night, were as troubled as ever and he couldn’t bring himself to confront her about the past when she was already in such turmoil.

It could wait until they were both ready to talk and stop pretending seeing each other wasn’t a big deal. She might’ve moved on, consigned everything they’d had together to the past, but he still needed an explanation as to why she’d turned her back on him so he could close that chapter. Violet’s rejection had marked the one failure in his life and that wasn’t something he found easy to live with.

Although he wanted answers, for now he’d have to put his personal feelings aside and treat her as he would any family member of a critical patient. In the old days he wouldn’t have thought twice about throwing his arms around her and giving her a much-needed hug, but they weren’t here together through choice. Neither were they angsty teenagers united in rebellion against their parents. They were adults, virtual strangers who knew nothing of each other’s lives. He chose a clinical approach to appease this edgier version of the girl he once knew and try to maintain some sort of professional distance from the case.

After dealing with the Earl, he had a renewed appreciation for what Violet and her mother had contended with. The frustration at not being able to do his job and perform the angioplasty because of his patient’s non-compliance had made him want to scream. In some ways he understood Violet’s decision to leave him to his own devices; it was easier than standing by and watching him self-destruct. Even in the jaws of death he thought he thought he knew better than those around him. As if he imagined continued denial would somehow defy fate.

‘He’s not out of danger yet but he is in the best place. We’ve administered clot-busting drugs quite early so it should restore the blood flow and reduce the damage. In my experience, the earlier we treat the patient after a heart attack, the better chance of survival they have.’ Although he performed this procedure day after day, it was never routine. Every patient was individual, reacted differently to medication, suffered varying degrees of muscle damage and experienced all sorts of complications on the road to recovery. All he could do was fight with all the drugs and technology he had available to him and the rest was up to fate, or the stubbornness of the patient.

‘I don’t wish him any harm, you know. Despite everything. I’m not heartless.’ Violet leaned across the bed and for a split second Nate thought she was going to reach out to her father. At the last second she withdrew again.

‘I know. I’m sure he knows it too.’ He might have had his doubts about that when she’d abandoned her life here with him in it, but she’d proved that rumour wrong by simply being here. Clearly she still cared for her father, and Nate had no doubt somewhere deep down the feeling was mutual. The trouble was they were both too stubborn to make the first move on building that bridge. He’d seen how the loss of her mother had affected Violet and he dearly hoped there was still time for her to connect with her father, to get closure if nothing else.

Nate had had his own parental issues but he still checked in with them on a regular basis. He just made sure he kept enough distance to ensure they didn’t interfere in his life and he didn’t get roped into drama at Strachmore. Until now.

The steady blip of the monitors suddenly flatlined as the Earl’s heart rate dropped. Nate swung into action as the alarm rang out to summon the crash team. A second arrest was always a possibility when patients were at their most vulnerable after the first. Especially when they’d refused life-saving treatment. In Nate’s head he’d thought bringing Violet in could somehow prevent the worst from happening. Instead, she was here to witness it for herself.

‘Violet, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.’ He motioned for help to get her out of here. Saving a man’s life wasn’t as pretty as they made out in the movies and he certainly didn’t want family members in the audience for the performance.

‘Nate?’ She didn’t have to say anything else. The trembling bottom lip caught between her teeth and wide eyes expressed her plea eloquently enough.

‘I’ll do everything I can. I promise.’ He was forced to block out that haunting image of her silently begging him to save her father so he could focus on the job at hand. He didn’t want to be the one to have to deliver that earth-shattering news to her for a second time.

Sweat beaded on his forehead as he charged the defibrillator that had been wheeled to the bedside.

‘Stand clear.’

The first shock Nate administered to try and kick-start the heart again was for the Earl, and Violet, and a second chance for their father-daughter relationship. He started CPR, thinking of his own parents and their ties to this man with every chest compression.

So much for not wanting anyone relying on him. Now both of their families were depending on him to save the day. And a life.