Loe raamatut: «Off Limits Marine»
Forbidden desire...
Marine captain Gabe Pennington knows how to keep a secret—a little too well. He’s been in love with his best buddy’s wife since they met. And he can’t forget the stolen, passionate kiss they once shared. But now Annie Jennings has been a widow for two years, and Gabe wants her more than ever.
Except that Annie still isn’t ready to say goodbye to her deceased husband. Instead, Gabe can only hope that the searing chemistry between them is enough to convince Annie to move on—and forget her promise to never again date military guys. Especially because Gabe still has one secret eating away at him. And it’s a secret that could set Annie free...or destroy her faith in love forever.
“You’re the most amazing woman I know...”
Cupping Annie’s cheek in his hand, Gabe bent close and kissed her.
It was something he’d been thinking about since the moment they first met. How many nights had he imagined what it might be like to hold her in his arms, to be the one that she waited for day after day, to know that she loved him?
Her lips were soft and warm, and Gabe gently probed the crease of her mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She moaned, then suddenly pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him away.
She stared up at him, and a heartbeat later her palm met his cheek, stunning him back to reality.
“You need to leave. Right now. Just go, please.”
“Annie, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, placing her hands over her ears and shaking her head. Her eyes flooded with tears. “Get out.”
As he walked out of the shed, Gabe cursed himself. What the hell had he been thinking?
He’d just betrayed his best friend.
Dear Reader,
It’s true that time does pass quickly when you’re having fun. In August 1993, my first book was published by Harlequin, a story called Indecent Exposure written for the Temptation line.
Since then, I’ve written ninety more books, mostly for Blaze. Twenty-three years have come and gone!
I’ve lived in three different places, gained and lost countless pounds, said goodbye to sweet feline friends, blown up numerous computers and laptops and visited many story settings, both in person and via the internet. I don’t know what’s next for me, but I know it will be fun to find out. I hope you come along for the ride!
Happy reading,
Off Limits Marine
Kate Hoffmann
KATE HOFFMANN’s first book was published by Harlequin in 1993, and in the twentysome years since, she has written ninety stories for the publisher. When she isn’t writing, she enjoys genealogy, golfing and directing student theater productions. She lives in southeastern Wisconsin with her two cats, Winnie and Gracie.
MILLS & BOON
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To Birgit, Malle, Susan, Marsha, Brenda, Adrienne and Johanna—for all you’ve done to make me a better writer.
Contents
Cover
Back Cover Text
Introduction
Dear Reader
Title Page
About the Author
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Extract
Copyright
Prologue
HE OUGHT TO be used to funerals by now. He’d been to enough of them over the years that he expected his grief to be numbed, reduced to a dull ache.
Marine Captain Gabriel T. Pennington drew a deep breath of the warm evening air. In the distance, he heard the sound of a fighter jet, taking off from Miramar, and he looked up at the sky, searching for the vapor trail in the late-afternoon light.
This was a different kind of grief, though. Deep and powerful, like a wound that wouldn’t heal. He’d lost his best friend, a guy he’d known for a decade. And unlike the other funerals he’d attended, this one wasn’t followed quickly by a return to active duty and the strange rhythms of a war zone to occupy his thoughts.
He cast his gaze across the wide lawn, his eyes fixed on an old shed set on the rear of the property. It had been two weeks since they’d laid Marine Captain Erik Jennings to rest and Gabe was still looking for something to ease the ache inside him. Perhaps this was it.
The shed door rattled as he drew it aside along a rusty runner. The light switch was beside the door and Gabe flipped it on, then squinted against the harsh glare from a bare bulb.
The familiar lines of the sleek wooden sloop were visible, even when hidden by the dusty tarp. He pulled the canvas cover aside, revealing a sailboat sorely in need of some tender loving care. Running his hand along the faded bright work, Gabe smiled to himself, remembering the late nights they’d spent working on the boat.
Erik had bought the old sloop with money he and Annie had received for their wedding five years before. He’d named it the Honeymoon and convinced Annie that one day he’d leave the military behind and sail her around the world. To most people, it might have looked like a lark, but to Erik and Annie, the boat had been an insurance policy, a promise that they’d have a happy future together, even if the military kept them apart.
Gabe and Erik had been friends since their plebe year at the naval academy. Ten years of friendship that had taken them to the far side of the world and back, Gabe as a Marine helicopter pilot based out of Camp Pendleton, and Erik as a Marine F-18 pilot out of Miramar, call signs Angel and Breaker.
They’d come from opposite coasts of the country, Erik from San Diego, the son of a surgeon and a socialite, and Gabe from Portland, Maine. His father was a lobsterman and his mother taught school. They’d arrived at Annapolis with two goals in mind—graduating first in their class and nabbing a spot in Marine Aviation School immediately after that. Their choice of the Marine Corps had put them in the minority among the sailors at the naval academy, but it had bonded them as brothers.
Gabe had been Erik’s best man at his wedding to Annie Foster, and now a pallbearer at his funeral. Was that full circle? he wondered. Somehow, it seemed as if Erik would never have a chance to finish his circle.
Death had become an accepted part of military life, at least at this point in time. And yet the loss of a friend, a subordinate or even a soldier he’d never met had become harder and harder to rationalize.
Erik had been doing what he loved. He was a patriot. He gave the ultimate sacrifice. All of the words rang hollow when Gabe realized that he’d never see his best friend again. They’d never share a few laughs over a beer. They’d never joke their way around a golf course or work late into the night on a moldy old sailboat.
“What are you doing out here?”
Gabe opened his eyes to find Annie standing in front of him. Her eyes were red and she clutched a wadded handkerchief in her hand. Even in her state of grief, she was more beautiful than he remembered. His fingers clenched with an instinctive urge to reach out and touch her, to smooth his hand across her cheek.
Gabe smiled and shrugged. “I just wanted to take a last look.”
“Last look?” she murmured, then took a ragged breath. “You got your orders?”
He nodded. “This morning. I’m headed back to Afghanistan.” Gabe forced a smile. He had always been happy to get his orders, to have a purpose to his life. But not this time.
Annie nodded. “It’s time you get back to your own life. It’s been two weeks. Although I’ve appreciated all your help with sorting and packing, I can get along fine on my own.”
“I know you can,” Gabe said.
“I’m glad you do, because I’m not so sure. I keep trying to catch my breath, but it just...hurts.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I’m trying to be strong, but I can’t do it. I’m just so...angry.”
“You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel,” Gabe said.
“It was a training exercise,” Annie said. “Would I feel differently if he’d been shot down over Afghanistan? At least I’d have an enemy to blame. Who do I blame now?”
“It was an accident,” Gabe said. “There’s no one to blame.”
“They think it was pilot error,” Annie countered.
Gabe gasped, frowning as he met her gaze. “Is that what they told you? I hadn’t heard.”
“They’ve just started the investigation, but they warned me that the report might come back as pilot error. They wanted me to be prepared.”
“No way,” Gabe said, shaking his head. “Erik was a great pilot. He didn’t make mistakes. He was a fanatic about safety, and there isn’t another pilot in the US Marine Corps who could pull himself out of an emergency situation better than Erik.”
Annie dabbed at her nose with the handkerchief and nodded, his words seeming to bring her some sort of comfort. She slowly circled the boat, running her fingertips along the blue fiberglass hull. “Look at this raggedy thing,” she said. “I must have been crazy to say yes when he told me he wanted to buy it.” Annie looked over at him. “You wouldn’t want to buy a sailboat, would you?”
Gabe shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“I suppose I’m going to have to sell it.”
“You’ve got some time to decide,” he said.
Annie shook her head. “I have decided. I’m going back home,” she said. “My parents asked if I wanted to take over the sailing school, and I said yes. There are just so many memories here, I’m not sure I could bear it.”
Silence descended over the interior of the shed as she continued to circle the sailboat. As Gabe watched her, his mind wandered back to the very first time he laid eyes on her. He and Erik had a weekend pass and had wandered along the waterfront in Annapolis, only to find themselves in the middle of the victory celebrations for a sailboat race. Annie had captained the winning boat, and as was the custom, her crew had thrown her into the water.
“You looked like a drowned rat,” Gabe murmured.
She glanced over her shoulder, and his heart stopped. The way the light framed her face, the soft wave of pale hair that fell across her cheek. Her beauty took his breath away.
“What?” she asked.
“What?”
She smiled winsomely. “You said something.”
“I was just remembering the day you and Erik met. When he pulled you out of the harbor. You looked like a drowned rat.”
Gabe had been first to step to the edge of the dock, offering his hand. But Erik had playfully shoved him aside and come to her rescue. It had been the genesis of their call signs, Breaker and Angel. Erik had been the bad boy, the heartbreaker, while Gabe had been his alter ego, the good guy who always did the right thing.
He’d always wondered what might have been if he’d done the wrong thing that day, shoving Erik aside and declaring his intentions to his best friend.
“Oh, yes. My hero. I was lucky he was there. You would have probably let me drown.”
“I’ve always thought you were the kind of woman who could save herself,” he said.
She opened her mouth to speak, then shook her head. “I hope I am,” she said after a long silence. “I feel like I’m going under and I can’t get back to the surface.”
“Give yourself some time,” Gabe said.
“This is nice,” she murmured. “Talking to you. It’s always been so...weird between us. I always got the feeling that you didn’t approve of me.”
“That’s not true,” Gabe said.
“I know it must have been difficult. You guys were best friends, and then I came along like a third wheel.”
He couldn’t tell her the truth. From the moment he’d first seen her, standing on the dock, soaked to the skin, he’d been smitten. She’d been everything he’d ever wanted, smart and funny and beautiful in a pure and natural way. Of course, Erik had moved first and used his extraordinary charms to lock her down. Within an hour of their first conversation, Gabe knew that there would be no reversal of her affections. Her heart belonged to Erik.
Gabe had never been jealous. Hell, he’d been happy that Erik had found a woman to love. At least that was how he’d felt until he realized that his best friend wasn’t the best husband in the world.
Erik had always been a flirt. He seemed to thrive on the attentions of beautiful women. But when a guy got married, all the extracurricular activities was supposed to stop. At least that was what Gabe had always believed. But Erik had kept right on, with a girlfriend in every port. They’d argued over it twice and for a while Gabe had thought it might be the end of their friendship.
Five years later, Gabe wasn’t sure if he’d ever given up the girls. Erik stopped confiding in him. And when they went out, he was friendly to the ladies but left alone at the end of the night. They simply never spoke of it.
“I should get back to the house,” she murmured. “Erik’s parents are coming for dinner and—You wouldn’t want to stay, would you? They love having you around.” She glanced over at him. “I like having you around. Right now, I’m having a hard time dealing with them.”
“Why is that?”
“They asked me the other night if there was any chance that I might be pregnant. I can hear the disappointment in their voices. It was my duty to provide a grandchild, and I didn’t get it done.” Annie shook her head. “I...I’m sure they’ll want to say goodbye before you leave.”
Annie stared into his eyes, and he could see the tears begin to fall down her pale cheeks. Gabe didn’t know what to do. They’d been talking about dinner, and suddenly tears. What could he say?
At a loss, he reached out and gently pulled her into his arms, holding her close as she wept against his chest. This round of tears seemed to be much worse than the previous few. Her tears soaked the front of his T-shirt, her fingers clutching at the faded cotton.
“It’s going to be all right,” he said softly.
“You’d think I’d be out of tears by now,” she whispered. “I think I’m finally done crying, and then I realize I’m all alone. He’s not coming back.”
“You’re not alone,” he said. “If you need anything, you can always call me.” He smoothed his fingers over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “You’ll be all right. You’re strong and you’re smart. You’re the most amazing woman I know.”
Annie frowned, and Gabe cursed inwardly. He’d gone too far. He’d revealed too much. He wanted to turn and walk away before he made any further mistakes. But instead, he let his heart overrule his brain. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he bent close and kissed her.
It seemed like the only thing left to do, something he’d been thinking about since the moment they first met. How many nights had he imagined what it might be like to hold her in his arms, to be the one that she waited for day after day, to know that she loved him? And how many times had he flown a mission wondering if his last chance might be taken away by an enemy RPG or a laser-guided missile?
Her lips were soft and warm, and Gabe gently probed the crease of her mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She moaned, then suddenly pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him away.
Sometimes, a guy didn’t get a second chance. Gabe knew that better than anyone. Hell, Annie knew it, too. You had to seize the moment. No regrets. And yet, by the look on her face, all that Gabe could feel was regret.
She stared up at him and a heartbeat later her palm met his cheek, stunning him back to reality. Gabe opened his mouth to speak, but she held out her hand to stop him.
“You need to leave. Right now. Just go, please.”
“Annie, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, placing her hands over her ears and shaking her head. Her eyes flooded with tears. “Get out.”
As he walked out of the shed, Gabe cursed himself. What the hell had he been thinking? He’d spent his whole professional career as a pilot making decisions based on a cold, rational assessment of a situation. It had kept him alive in a dangerous world. And now, the first time he’d ever listened to his heart, he’d managed to screw the pooch.
He’d never see her again. She’d remember this moment forever and always hate him for it. He’d betrayed his best friend, and now he’d be left to suffer for it.
1
ANNIE JENNINGS ADJUSTED the delicate lace wedding veil, watching the reflection in the mirror. “Perfect,” she murmured.
“Where did you find it?” Lisa asked.
“Packed away in my closet at home. It was my great-grandmother’s. My grandmother wore it and so did my mother.” Annie sighed. “I was stubborn and thought it looked too old-fashioned, so I chose my own veil. But I knew you’d love it. You’ve always appreciated vintage things more than I have.”
A warm breeze fluttered at the lace curtains of the old farmhouse. Outside, in the pretty orchard, the guests were assembling, ready to witness the wedding of Captain Jacob “Nellie” Maranello and Annie’s best friend, Lisa Romanoski. The rural setting in coastal North Carolina was perfect for a sunny Saturday in early June.
“Are you sure you want me to wear it?” Lisa asked. “Maybe you’ll want to wear it someday.”
Annie shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’ve had my one great love. Who says I’ll find another?”
She carefully spread the veil behind her friend. Lisa was the only military “wife” she’d kept in touch with after Erik’s death. Erik had served in Jacob’s squadron, and they’d been stationed together since flight school at Pensacola. Jacob had also been in Erik’s class at the academy, though he’d spent two years in Afghanistan before being accepted to the academy.
Annie grabbed a small bag from the bed and withdrew a faded velvet box and held it out to her. “Here. This is something borrowed.”
“The veil is borrowed,” Lisa said.
Annie shook her head. “That’s something old. Your dress is new. This is borrowed and...” She pulled a garter out of the bag. “This garter is blue.”
“I am not going to wear a garter. I may appreciate vintage things, but I’m definitely not a traditional bride. And we are certainly not going to do that horrible garter thing.”
“You certainly aren’t traditional. You and Nellie have three kids. You make your own yogurt. Your children are named Sky, River and Breeze. You’re serving tofu at your reception, and I don’t think you own a pair of shoes that aren’t Birkenstocks. But you can bow to this one tradition. For your matron of honor?”
Rolling her eyes, Lisa yanked up her skirt and pulled the garter over her bare foot. Then she took the velvet box from Annie’s outstretched hand. She opened it to find a pair of diamond chandelier earrings in a platinum Art Deco setting.
“I remember these,” Lisa said. “I helped you put them on at your wedding.”
“My grandmother gave these to me along with the veil. They’ll go perfectly with your dress and your hair.”
Lisa gave her a hug. “I love them. Thank you.” She bent closer to the mirror and put them on, then turned to show Annie. “What do you think?”
“The most beautiful bride in the world,” Annie said, her eyes filling with tears. She couldn’t help but remember her own wedding day. All her dreams and hopes tied up in a white dress and veil. “Sorry,” she murmured, turning away from Lisa to busy herself with her own jewelry.
Lisa sat on the edge of the bed, a frown of concern etched across her brow, then patted the spot beside her. Annie reluctantly joined her.
“I’m crying because I’m happy for you,” Annie said.
“It’s been over a year,” Lisa said.
“One year, five months and about sixteen days. I know how long it’s been. Believe me, I’ve felt every one of those days.”
“I want you to have fun today. Dance and laugh and drink too much. Find yourself a handsome man and flirt a little bit. Maybe even kiss him.”
“I want to do that. But I just feel like I’m betraying him. Like it’s too soon.”
Lisa gave her hand a squeeze. “You can’t go on like this,” she said. “He would have wanted you to be happy.”
“I know. And I’ve been thinking about what’s been holding me back. It felt like there was something unfinished between us. And I finally realized what it was. The Honeymoon.”
“I thought you never had a honeymoon.”
“We didn’t. We got married and he left for basic two days later. But I was talking about the boat. The sailboat he bought with our wedding money. We were going to sail around the world with it.”
“That wreck you keep in your boathouse?” Lisa asked.
“It’s not a wreck anymore. After I had it trucked out here from San Diego, I decided to spend some time fixing it up. And it’s almost ready to sail. In a few months, I’m going to sail it to California. And if that goes well, I may just decide to keep going.”
Lisa shook her head. “California? So you’re just going to sail on down to the Panama Canal all by yourself. What about hurricanes? What about pirates and drug runners and...and whales? Whales run into sailboats all the time. Haven’t you read Moby Dick?”
“I’m well aware of the dangers,” Annie said. “I’ve been sailing since I was a kid. This is something I need to do. I think maybe it might be the closure I need. I’ll take the honeymoon we never had, and then I’ll sell the boat in California and come back here.”
“Well, I think it’s a crazy idea. If you want closure, you need to find yourself a new man. And there are plenty of handsome, single men invited to this wedding.”
“And all of them are in the military,” Annie said.
“My soon-to-be husband was in charge of that side of the guest list, so I can’t be blamed. What’s wrong with a military man?”
“I don’t think I can go through all of that again. The waiting, the worrying. I just want a regular guy. An accountant or a salesman. Someone who will be home every night and doesn’t have anyone shooting at him.”
“I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I refused to marry Nellie for so long,” Lisa said. “I waited until he was done with active duty.”
“You have three children,” Annie said.
“I couldn’t help myself. But now he’s home and safe. It’s the right time. The kids are old enough to start questioning why Mommy and Daddy have different last names. Nellie’s got an engineering job lined up with Lockheed, and we’re going to finally live a normal life.”
A knock sounded on the door, and Annie went over to open it. Lisa’s six-year-old daughter, Sky, waited on the other side. She was a bridesmaid and carried three bouquets in her arms.
“Grandma said I should bring these to you and that they’re ready for you to come down.”
She handed Annie a simple clutch of daisies and gave her mother a bouquet of white roses. Lisa gave her daughter a hug. “Do you remember what to do?”
Sky nodded. “I walk with Riv on this side and Breezie on this side. And Riv carries the rings and Breezie throws the petals. And then we stand next to Annie and try not to squirm. And if we’re good, we get to drink as much soda as we want to.”
Annie laughed. “That’s a nice reward.”
“You dance with a few men, and I’ll let you have soda, too,” Lisa said.
“All right.” Annie grabbed Sky’s hand. “Let’s go have a wedding. Are you excited?”
The little girl nodded.
“Me, too.” They walked out into the hall, Lisa trailing behind them. As they reached the first floor, the rest of the bridal party was waiting. River and Breezie looked more nervous than excited, as did Lisa’s father, John.
They arranged themselves on the back deck, taking last-minute instructions from Lisa, before they began their walk to the orchard. They were in sight of the guests when a dark-haired man in a blue Oxford shirt came jogging past them.
He turned and faced Lisa, his hands up, his expression contrite. “Sorry I’m late. You look great. Where should I go?”
“Gabe! We didn’t think you’d make it.”
“Change of plans,” he said. He glanced over at Annie and for an instant their gazes locked. The smile faded from his face. “Annie? What are you doing here?”
She swallowed hard, unable to fashion a coherent reply. All that she could manage was a very meek “Hello.”
He quickly turned and headed toward the gathering of guests. Annie let out a tightly held breath and tried to keep her whole body from melting into a puddle. How many times over the past seventeen months had she thought about that kiss? Too many to count. And every time it had come to mind, always in speculation of what might have happened had she responded, it had been followed by waves of guilt.
“What was that?” Lisa asked, looking back and forth between the retreating Gabe and her matron of honor.
“Nothing,” Annie murmured. “I was just startled. I didn’t know you were going to invite him.”
“He’s one of Nellie’s buddies. Remember? He and Nellie were in flight school together.”
“I remember. Erik, too.” She drew a ragged breath. “I...I just haven’t seen him since that night. You know, the kiss.”
Lisa’s mother grabbed her daughter’s arm. “Darling, they’re waiting. We need to go. We’re already seven minutes late.”
“They’ll wait,” Lisa said. She turned back to Annie. “What kiss?”
“Didn’t I tell you about that?” Annie asked.
“No.”
“Oh, I thought I had. Well, a few weeks after Erik’s funeral, Gabe kissed me. In the boat shed. We were talking and I was crying and he was holding me and...it just happened.”
“Darling, they’ve started the processional music. Everyone is waiting.”
“Mother, I’m the bride. Nellie has been waiting all these years to marry me. Believe me, he’ll wait a few minutes longer.”
“I’m fine,” Annie said. “We have to go.” She took River’s hand and gently drew him along. “Come on, let’s go get married. Your mother and I can talk later.”
“Damn right we’ll be talking later,” Lisa muttered. “I’m going to want all the details.”
When they reached the far end of the aisle, Annie sent the children down, pointing to their father and their uncle Peter, who were waiting next to the minister. River chose to run, while Breeze took her job seriously, plucking one pink rose petal at a time from the basket and placing it on the ground in front of her. Meanwhile, Sky was forced to walk at a snail’s pace behind her, rolling her eyes and urging her little sister to speed it up.
The processional music finished before Annie had even taken a step up the aisle, so to everyone’s laughter, the vocalist began the song all over. Annie slowly walked toward the flower-covered arbor, her gaze fixed on the white ribbons as they blew in the breeze.
She knew he was watching her, but she was afraid to look around and risk meeting his gaze. If she had told Lisa about the kiss, then she could have written this off as a setup, pure and simple. They were best friends and she should have at least mentioned it. But Annie had kept that night a secret and, over time, tried to rationalize her response.
She’d been mourning her dead husband, she’d been emotionally overwrought, she hadn’t been thinking straight. Her whole world had been turned upside down, and Gabe had offered her comfort in the only way he knew how—by kissing her. By kissing her?
Even she wasn’t deluded enough to admit that the kiss wasn’t about just comfort. There was an underlying passion, a need that couldn’t be ignored. It had been the last thing she’d expected Gabe to do.
Since that unexpected moment had happened, she’d wondered what Gabe had been thinking. Had he been so crude to believe that now that she was a widow she was free to indulge? She couldn’t come up with any other explanation. In all the time they’d spent together before Erik’s death, he’d always seemed mildly annoyed with her, as if she were standing in the way of “bro” time with his best friend.
She clutched her bouquet more tightly, trying to focus on the job at hand. Just five more steps. Four. Three. Two. And stop. She slowly turned to watch the bride come down the aisle, flanked by her parents.
Maybe he’d been testing her. That was probably it. Testing her loyalty to her husband. What better place than after his funeral. Annie felt her anger rise. How dare he question her fidelity. After all, she was the one left behind all those times when Erik was deployed.
He was out fighting wars and doing his patriotic duty, while she was at home, worrying about him. And never once, not in five years of marriage, had she thought about straying. Never once had she regretted marrying Erik, even though they’d been miles apart for more days than they’d been together.
She wouldn’t be tempted by Gabe again, Annie mused. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing between them. He was her husband’s best friend, but they had never had a relationship. She’d say hello, make polite chitchat and then leave him to his own devices.
She glanced over at him again and found him staring at her. He smiled, and Annie felt her stomach flutter. He looked good. He was even more handsome than she remembered. Oh, damn, this was going to be a lot harder than she could have ever imagined.
* * *
SHE WAS DELIBERATELY avoiding him. The reception was in full swing beneath an open-air tent at the edge of the orchard, people dancing to a country band after a meal of barbecue and burgers. Strings of lights crisscrossed the canvas above their heads, mimicking the stars that twinkled in the night sky.
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