Loe raamatut: «The Morning After the Wedding Before»

To Stacey.

Always in my thoughts.

Forever in my heart.

Chapter 1
Holly

As Holly looked around, hypnotized by the scene in front of her, she had a good feeling about this trip. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t been to a pool party on holiday before; she’d been to dozens when she’d been in her early twenties. It was just she’d never been to Las Vegas before; the swimming pool was absolutely enormous, the sun blazing, music blasting, the place was heaving with young people and it was a twenty-four-hour party paradise. She felt so pleased that her college friend, Emma Langford, had chosen Vegas as her wedding destination. Holly being a single mother to two young children, it was exactly the kind of place the doctor ordered. The wedding was the perfect excuse to escape toddler tantrums for this oasis of indulgence.

‘Emma?’ Holly called out hesitantly, as she made her way over to the slender girl in the white bikini taking a selfie. The girl she was calling had her back to Holly and hadn’t heard her voice over the loud music. Holly knew Emma had lost tons of weight, but they hadn’t seen each other in six months. Was that really her?

Emma turned round, her pretty face exploding into a huge smile. ‘Holly, you came!’ She laughed, gripping her in a tight hug, pushing her sunglasses back into her long, dark hair. ‘It’s so good to see you. I’m glad you found us okay, especially seeing as this place is so packed. Where’s Kim?’ she questioned, suddenly noticing that Holly was alone.

‘She’s taking a nap in the hotel room,’ Holly explained. They’d only landed about two hours ago and her best friend, Kim, had felt too tired to venture out. Kim was also a mother to two children: Mylo who was three, and Willow, nine months. They were a similar age to Holly’s children, Lottie and Jacob. Kim had been more excited about catching up on some sleep than anything else and had sprawled out the moment they got into the hotel room and discovered their giant beds. ‘I’m hoping Kim will come out later. You look amazing, Emma, honestly, absolutely stunning. I hardly recognize you,’ Holly told her earnestly, her eyes sweeping up and down in admiration. ‘I can’t believe you have nearly half a million followers on Instagram now too; it’s absolutely amazing. You must be so proud of yourself.’

Emma was a lifestyle blogger; Holly often checked out her page, lusting over the exotic trips abroad Emma posted about. It had all started with Emma sharing an image of her weight loss and after gaining thousands of followers during her journey, her page had since changed to her general lifestyle. Emma posted about everything: from her new outfit, to the food she was eating or her latest make-up routine. Her Instagram page followers continued to increase, and at a rapid rate too. Emma’s images were flawless and aspirational. Sometimes Holly couldn’t believe Emma was the same person as the plus-size, curvy teen from college she’d met all those years ago. She appeared to have the dream life and was now making a career just from posting on social media; it was quite incredible and Holly was so happy for her friend who used to have such low self-esteem. Emma was now tiny, Holly realized, astonished by her transformation; she guessed she was now a size eight or maybe even a six. Holly was aware she’d lost even more weight since she’d last seen her, judging by her Instagram feed, but she had always imagined Emma had tweaked her images a little. Taken them from a flattering angle and perhaps added a filter or adjusted the lighting. But here Emma was, looking every bit as polished as she did in her posts. Her hair was glossy, her skin was glowing and Holly couldn’t take her eyes off Emma’s toned abs. It was almost impossible to remember what Emma had looked like when she’d been a size eighteen. Like when your children grew up and you forgot the memories of them being a newborn baby; Holly simply couldn’t imagine it.

‘Thank you,’ Emma replied, her cheeks reddening with the compliment. ‘I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without Charlie though. He’s always helped manage my Instagram page and somehow my followers have climbed to half a million. It’s been such a mad year. Having a fiancé who is a personal trainer has obviously helped me get into shape, and the wedding has been the motivation I needed too,’ she explained before changing the subject. ‘That’s a shame about Kim, but perhaps she just needs a bit of rest after the long flight. Come, let me introduce you to some of the others.’

Emma introduced Holly to some of her friends lying on the large round sun-bed next to her and she was pleased to see some familiar faces when she noticed Fran and Danni, two girls from college, were also there. She’d never met Charlie, but Holly felt as though she already knew him just from Emma’s Instagram. It was strange feeling as though you knew someone just from seeing them on social media. He too, looked every bit as perfect as Emma often displayed, and flashed Holly a warm, welcoming grin.

‘This is Frankie, Charlie’s cousin,’ Emma introduced the man next to Charlie. ‘He practically lives with us back home,’ Emma laughed good-naturedly, ‘we can’t seem to get rid of him. He’s like part of the furniture.’

Frankie shot Emma a mock-offended look. ‘You don’t complain when I’m cooking the dinner,’ he chuckled.

‘To be fair, he’s an amazing cook,’ Emma flashed him a natural smile. ‘You’ve been a massive help with the wedding too,’ she added sweetly, ‘even more than Charlie I’d say.’ She raised her eyebrows at her fiancé, but it was clear to see that Emma wasn’t really bothered.

‘Hey, I’ve done loads of organizing,’ Charlie retorted without conviction. ‘Frankie’s just better than me at planning things, that’s all,’ he shrugged, ‘he seems to like all the girly stuff.’

Frankie elbowed him playfully.

‘Come, let’s go to the bar and get a drink,’ Emma suggested to Holly merrily, ‘we have so much to catch up on.’

Holly felt a buzz of excitement as she followed Emma. She hadn’t drunk alcohol in the daytime for ages. It felt rebellious and completely alien to her. It was hardly a regular occurrence since she’d become a parent and she felt so free having no children to think about while she was here. No noses to wipe, faces to clean or nappies to change; Holly was determined to enjoy every second and appreciate just thinking about herself for once. This was so far from her usual Wednesday afternoons at Lottie’s swimming lesson, chasing after Jacob as he toddled closer and closer towards the swimming pool and trying to feed him as many snacks as possible to keep him occupied.

‘Thanks so much for coming all the way out here for my wedding,’ Emma said, looking grateful as they ordered some cocktails. ‘I know it’s not exactly close to home and it must be difficult for you with the children. How are they? I haven’t seen them for ages. We must start making sure we meet up more often when we get back,’ she said guiltily.

‘Definitely,’ Holly agreed. Before she and Kim had become parents, they used to see Emma all the time. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that they didn’t spend as much time together any more; it was just one of those things. Their lives had gone in different directions. Kim and Holly often met at the local park or farm with their children, while Emma was extremely busy enjoying her successful career. They’d invited Emma out a few times, but Holly wasn’t surprised that Emma had turned their invite down for whatever reason; Holly couldn’t imagine she would want to spend time at a soft play if she didn’t have kids. Their nights out seemed to have stopped as soon as Holly and Kim had become pregnant, and Holly couldn’t even remember the last time they all went out together and had fun like they used to. It was so difficult getting Kim to agree to do something in the evenings without the children, and Holly guessed she’d since just given up asking. Kim was such a worrier. She hated leaving her children alone, even if her husband, Andy, or her mum was watching them. They did need to make much more of an effort though and Holly vowed she would in future. She didn’t even know the man that Emma was marrying; it had been far too long.

She couldn’t resist smiling as she thought of her children. It certainly wasn’t easy caring for two little people all the time, especially now that she and their father, Rob, had split up, but she loved her children more than anything. They were the one thing she was really proud of.

‘They’re good,’ Holly replied. ‘They’re staying with my mum for a few days and then Rob is picking them up. He has a new girlfriend now,’ she explained, still unsure how she felt about another woman being around her children. It was still so fresh and raw. ‘He told me the day you sent your wedding invites out.’

‘Oh wow, really? I was just about to ask how you two are getting on now you’re not together any more. Have you met her? I guess it must be so strange.’ Emma gazed at Holly, her voice laced with sympathy.

Holly nodded. She and Rob had split up eight months before, and Holly had only seen Emma once, just after it happened. Jacob had only been five months old and had been teething when Emma had come over to see how Holly was doing, and it had been difficult to talk while bouncing a grisly baby on her knee. Emma didn’t really know much detail about the split at all.

She thought back to that day Rob had told her all about his new girlfriend. Kim had been over that afternoon and they had been discussing Emma’s wedding after both receiving invites that day. Holly had been bursting with excitement at the aspect of going to Vegas, but Kim had been reluctant, unhappy about leaving her children to fly halfway across the world. Holly wasn’t sure she wanted to go without Kim, so she told herself it probably wasn’t going to happen and she hadn’t even been thinking about it when Rob knocked that evening to collect the children. They had come to the agreement that he would take them every Thursday night as well as every other weekend. It had always felt so weird letting Rob into the house they once shared together as though he was just a visitor. He no longer let himself in using the front door key, calling out her name so she knew he had arrived back. Instead, he waited until Holly answered the door; something they’d never actually discussed but just something Rob started doing when he moved out. It was the polite thing to do. It was so Rob. Holly was pleased they still respected each other and hadn’t fallen out. She prided herself on the fact that she was friends with the ex; she wasn’t one of those women who sent bitter text messages and used their children as a weapon. They were mature and grown up about it. They put their children first.

Holly thought back to how she handed Rob a bag with the kids’ things in, wondering why he was acting so distracted. Questioning why he looked so nervous.

‘Erm, I need to speak to you,’ he said, suddenly sounding serious.

‘Right, okay,’ Holly had replied, her brow furrowed. She’d told Lottie and Jacob to go fetch their teddies from the other room so they could be alone and she’d stared at Rob in wonderment, assuming it was going to be about whether he could switch weekends or something trivial. ‘Speak away.’

Rob bit his lip looking a bit unsure of himself. His nostrils flared and she could feel the tension emanating from him. ‘Errr … I just wanted to tell you that I’ve met someone,’ he stated, looking ill at ease. ‘She’s called Nikki.’

He was never great in uncomfortable situations. She remembered once when she’d made him question the gardener about charging too much or the time they’d gone into a sex shop together to buy her some new underwear at the start of their relationship and the sales assistant asked him if he needed any help – he simply couldn’t make eye contact, shifted on the spot and kept clearing his throat as though it would clear his awkwardness. Looking at him with his flushed cheeks, Holly had almost felt sorry for him. That was, if his words hadn’t felt like he’d slapped her hard across the face. She always thought if Rob met someone else, then she would guess long before he told her. She knew him so well, she thought herself wise enough to see the telltale signs. When they’d first became a couple, he couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t even ask her if she wanted a drink without a huge grin on his face. Like the cat that got the cream. When he woke up, he would turn to face her with this look on his face. As though he couldn’t quite believe that she was there. He couldn’t believe his luck. He had made her feel like the most precious, loved person in the whole entire world.

So for him to stand in front of her telling her he had met someone else had been a complete shock. Holly realized then that she hadn’t been expecting Rob to meet someone so soon.

‘That’s nice,’ Holly managed to say, forcing her voice to sound bright. Her face felt hot and she knew it wasn’t because it was a humid summer’s evening. She was irritated that she hadn’t been prepared for this and also at herself for not feeling as relaxed about it as she always told herself she would be. She felt a shot of betrayal, even though she knew it was silly, and was slightly embarrassed. Holly hadn’t met anyone since they’d split up. She hadn’t so much as had a flirty conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Not even a harmless text message. It just wasn’t a priority of hers. She had her friends, family and children and that was the most important thing.

Rob had then proceeded to say that Nikki wanted to meet her. Holly couldn’t deny it was the mature and sensible thing to do, seeing as Rob wanted to introduce her to their children.

As soon as Holly had agreed, his awkwardness had melted away as quickly as an ice cube on a hot summer’s day. Instead, it was Holly left there feeling anxious.

‘Where did you meet her? How old is she?’ Holly enquired, unable to suppress her curiousness.

He gave a light laugh, looking happy. There was the expression she hadn’t seen in years and Holly knew at that point it was serious. This wasn’t just a casual fling – Rob had fallen in love. It was a strange situation, but Holly was pleased for him. She would always have a special place in her heart for Rob. ‘Online. I know you’ll find that quite sad, but trust me she’s a nice girl. She’s twenty-five. She’s not a weirdo or anything; she’s actually training to be a doctor. You’ll like her, I’m certain of it.’

‘I have something to tell you too, actually.’ The words had just come tumbling out of her mouth impulsively. What was she saying? She hadn’t thought any of it through, but it was at that moment that Holly decided she was going to Emma’s wedding. Rob could have his doctor and she would have Vegas. For some reason she didn’t want him to be the only one with some important news to share that day.

‘Okay?’ He looked at her questioningly.

‘I’m going to Vegas for Emma’s wedding,’ Holly told him boldly. She was going with or without Kim. She wasn’t sure if there were any other people she knew attending the wedding, but Holly would be just fine going alone. She liked to think herself as a friendly, innocuous person who didn’t have any problems socializing all by herself. Life was too short and she deserved some fun. Rob was clearly enjoying himself with Nikki and now it was her turn to have a break away and think about herself for once. She’d been pleasantly surprised when Kim had announced the following day that she would join her.

Memories of that day faded as Holly focused on Emma’s concerned expression in front of her as she explained what had happened, taking a sip of her frozen strawberry daquiri the barman had just handed her. ‘So I met Nikki before I came out here, and she’s actually really nice,’ she said truthfully. It had been impossible not to like Nikki. She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous, but she was attractive in her own way. She had beautiful hazel eyes, flecked with amber and green (the kind Rob would have called interesting) and a perfect smile (Holly could imagine she took great photos). She was just so nice. Holly had been terrified she would hate Nikki. What if she didn’t get on with her children? It was a worrying thought that there would be another person playing ‘‘Mummy" to Lottie and Jacob when she wasn’t around. She’d been worried she’d be envious of her young, toned, stretch mark-free body. She didn’t want to resent the fact that she and Rob could go out for dinner whenever it suited them. Or to the cinema. They had time to be alone without having to watch children’s programmes like Bing and Mr Tumble. But Holly had felt relieved when it hadn’t been like that at all. Nikki’s happy, breezy nature was contagious. Holly could just imagine her giving money to charity every month and volunteering in a soup kitchen on Christmas Day. Nikki was understanding and inoffensive. Deep down Holly knew she was very lucky if this was her ex-partner’s new girlfriend. Holly instantly trusted her and felt comfortable that her children would be in her presence. Nikki had told her she loved kids and had been excited about getting to know Lottie and Jacob; she’d even gone out to buy them small gifts. ‘I actually really liked her. She’s mature for a twenty-five-year-old and she couldn’t wait to meet the children. She was so easy to get on with and I can see that she and Rob make a great couple. They seem so much better suited than Rob and I ever were.’

‘You’re handling things great,’ Emma said sincerely. ‘I can’t imagine many people like their ex’s new girlfriend. I think it’s fantastic if you can be friends.’

‘Yes, I really hope we can,’ Holly replied truthfully. ‘Anyway, tell me about the wedding,’ she said eagerly, not wanting to talk all about herself. ‘What’s the dress like? Or are you keeping it a secret?’

‘Charlie sorted a hire company for me and they’ve leant me one for free providing I tag them in my wedding posts,’ she explained. ‘I’ll show you a photo; it’s so pretty,’ she said, clicking on her mobile and flicking through her images.

‘Wow, Em, that’s so good. I can’t believe you haven’t had to pay for your wedding dress,’ Holly said, incredulous.

‘Charlie has managed to get free suit hires for all the men too; I’m really lucky to have him,’ she explained, flashing Holly the image of a stunning ivory, backless gown. ‘He’s been great at getting all the free stuff. I still have a few things to do though before the wedding, so I wondered if you and Kim wanted to come along to help me pick things? I’m so indecisive about this kind of thing.’

‘Of course. Anything to help, you know that. Your dress is stunning,’ she said, her mouth popping open as she took Emma’s phone to get a closer look. The material looked so delicate and expensive; it would mould to Emma’s slender figure beautifully. It was the kind of dress that Holly would steer well clear of due to an unforgiving tummy area. Since having children, the idea of a flat stomach seemed like a thing of the past; Holly was fine with this though. Personally she’d rather go out with her kids for pizza and ice-cream as a treat without worrying about her bikini body. It just wasn’t as important now.

‘Thanks Holly. Let’s go in the pool for a bit,’ she replied, walking ahead. ‘I just want everything to be absolutely impeccable, you know?’

Holly nodded. She worked with brides all the time being a hair stylist. Her diary was pretty much fully booked for the rest of the year and she’d offered to do Emma’s wedding hair for her on the big day. It had been Edna, Holly’s mother, who had suggested taking some time out of her diary in the summer for a break from work, so Holly had made sure she’d left some time where she hadn’t booked any weddings in. Holly was grateful she’d listened or she wouldn’t have managed to get to Vegas. Being booked up for weddings seemed to dictate her life. ‘It’s normal to want a faultless day; I think all brides feel like that,’ she told her reassuringly.

As they reached the pool, Emma smiled thinly as she placed her drink on the side of the pool. ‘It has to be perfect. It’s what everyone expects of me. I can’t let them all down.’

Holly looked at Emma oddly and just before she could respond, Emma dunked her body into the water and swam off.