Loe raamatut: «Dancing To Happiness»

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MARISA SANTI

DANCING TO HAPPINESS

A NOVEL

Translated by: Loredana Meleo

Publisher: Tektime

This novel is a work of fiction. All the characters and the events described are the result of the author’s imagination. Any similarity to living or dead persons and facts is totally fortuitous.

Dedicated to my beloved daughters and to those who still have the courage to make their dreams come true...

“There’s an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted, once all the houses have been ripped apart, the wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it.”

Taken by Grey’s Anatomy

It’s a beautiful Friday with a very clear sky, you could not help but to remain with closed eyes and nose up to inebriate yourself with that crisp air. Infrequently, in the middle of July, the city offered something different from the mugginess. We had to take advantage of it.

We are all gathered on the terrace for lunch when the awkward silence is interrupted by Alex: <<Hey Isabel, you still have not told us the date of your next competition!>>

I look at Alex giving a hint of a smile; I would prefer not think about the competition on this wonderful day.

<<I know few days left and I have not yet said anything, but for the moment I don’t know the exact time... There were problems with the organization of the event so they’re leaving everything to the last minute. As soon as they will tell it to me, I will explain everything in detail to you. You know I could never do without “bearing” your presence and that of the others who cheer for me>>, I wink and smile.

I return to enjoy the wonderful day even though I should train instead of staying here and relaxing. In the last few days I really worked hard. It may well be legitimate to laze and spend free time enjoying my friends’ company! I would like to do something different. I feel strange for days now; I am a little out of sorts without knowing why. I feel like Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde!

I should consider myself a fortunate young woman. I live in Turin, city I love, and I have loving parents who run a boarding house for university students which allows me to make friends with peers and to exchange experiences with them. I participate in many competitions in order to increase my experience and to develop my determination with new challenges but above all because I love to give my best to accumulate confidence and to prove myself that, if I want, I can!

During the week I go to the university, help my parents to manage the boarding house and some nights I allow myself a little fun going out with my friends or my boyfriend Max. Sometimes I think my life is a little tiring because I always have to find the time and the energy to conciliate everything and for exercises and dance school. Above all it’s tiring when I approach the competitions, more the event approaches and more my competitiveness grows and with it the anxiety of not being up to it. I don’t like to lose and even be second. I think I am a perfectionist but all this gratifies me and I believe it pleases my parents too. It’s a way to pay them back for all the sacrifices they have done and continue doing to help me realize my dreams. My existence is very calm: I have parents who love me, we are well fixed financially, I have many friends and a boyfriend who fills me with attention and who many envy me. So why do not I feel satisfied? I feel as if my life is missing a piece to complete a puzzle.

I have to do something to distract myself from this useless and dangerous melancholy and I want to involve my friends too. I have to work hard to contrive a way to escape this routine!

Well, I got an idea: It’s been months since Frances, “my mother’s best friend”, spurs me to go visit her.

While we are all still at the table I propose: <<Folks, what about going on a trip to the seaside this weekend?>>

Alex and Vanessa stay amazed by my proposal looking at me as if there was someone else with my appearance before them; both know that in this period I dedicate myself only to gym and university. Usually, when an exam or a competition approaches I don’t even go out for an aperitif or a beer at the pub.

<<Are you really sure you want to “waste” two whole days without trainings and pirouettes?>> Vanessa asked, still puzzled and incredulous to my request. I nod with an expression amused by the faces that they all have at this time; their expression is astonished as if a ghost has appeared in front of them.

The kids confront each other to decide whether to accept or not my proposal depending upon their commitments. They look quite ambushed but also euphoric for the pleasant newness. Sun, sea, friends and revelry. Finally they stop looking at me as if I was just out of the insane asylum and give me their verdict.

<<Yes, for me it’s fine>> Rebecca says enthusiastic.

<<And you?>> I ask the others.

<<We’ll all come>> they answer, singing in chorus.

And then I would be the strange one! Alex, Vanessa, Rebecca, Victor, Lara, Rossana, Matthew, Claire and Mark have for years been the tenants of the boarding house, we have connected so much that we behave as if we are all brothers and sisters: we are a big family, united by a deep friendship.

<<So it’s settled, we’re going to leave late in the afternoon!>> I exclaim happily.

After lunch, we soon get ready to leave.

In the meantime, I take my mobile phone and call Max and Roberta, my best friend, to invite them too. Roberta accepts immediately but unfortunately Max is forced to pass up reluctantly because of work commitments. I’m sorry he can’t be with us, I won’t see him for two days.

I close my bag and hasten to join the others in the living room.

<<We are all here, only you were missing and to discover our destination! We’ve got everything, now would you mind telling us where we’re going?!>> Claire asks more and more intrigued.

<<To the sea! Oh... Maybe you would like to know the place too... To Alassio in Liguria. There’s a dear friend of my mother who is waiting for us with open arms! She is always happy to have guests, especially if they are nice boys and girls. She always asks me to go visit her because she feels a little lonely and she would like that I bring some friends with me. She has a very big house with a lot of rooms. Have I clarified your ideas or do you still think that we’re going towards the most mysterious unknown?>> I ask making fun of them. <<Come on, let’s go!>>

<<Tell us what’s your friend’s name at least!!!>> Roberta exclaimed.

<<Her name is Frances and she’s a very sweet and nice woman. Ah... Maybe you fear she may be the evil witch of Hansel and Gretel, don’t you? Who knows, maybe I have made arrangements with her and today’s lunch may be a way to fatten and prepare you all for her magic oven...>>

Finally they have stopped bombarding me with useless questions and have decided to head for the parking. We pack up our cars and then we leave.

I decide to get in the car with Robbie who, worried about having to face the highway, asks me to use my car and to drive, as always.

<<Robbie, you have to overcame this absurd fear of driving on the highway. For this time I go along with you but on the way back you’re going to drive!>> I tell her reproachfully.

<<You know I haven’t the knack...everybody is not like you, Miss-do-it-all! You’ll drive on the way back too!>>, she replies, ducking out of the responsibility towards herself to overcame her fear.

<<Okay.>> I answer snorting.

We turn on the radio, turn up the volume to maximum and put aside the bickering. I’m incessantly happy in her company: she always succeed in making me laugh, I forget all my bad moods and the time flies with her.

Finally, after three hours driving and several delays due to traffic, we arrive to Alassio. Along the way we scattered. Fortunately I gave them the address before leaving and the satellite navigation systems always, or almost always, do their job well.

We meet again before the entrance of Frances’ villa. I ring the bell several times until, finally, the gate opens and we see the butler Marius who welcomes us.

<<Miss Isabel, what a pleasure to see you again! Please kids, come in. Madam awaits you.>>

<<You are awful! You had already advised her of our arrival! You made me believe the whole way that we had to show up at her house without a notice like boors...>> Roberta tells me quite nervous.

<<Yeah!>> I reply kidding her, aware of her shyness. Somehow I had to avenge myself for only making me freak out on the highway behind traffic queues and crazy people heedless of traffic laws.

I have always been playful and lively so she is enough accustomed to endure an ingenuous joke at her expense. She will get over it and will learn to be less naive. Luckily they love me in spite of my tongue a little poisonous and my sarcasm and however we all have a great sense of humour; it’s difficult that we are easily offended.

Frances awaits us at the entrance with a wonderful smile: <<Come in, kids. You’re welcome! Isabel’s friends are my friends too.>> she says, making us settle in.

Everyone is amazed entering this wonderful house. She has good taste and she loves art. Her dwelling looks like a museum: she has travelled much before her husband’s death and from every journey they have brought home some souvenirs. She is a classy woman and I think that she is one of the most fascinating and intelligent woman I have ever met and, in spite of everything, she knows how to put everyone at ease without posing as many hoity-toity women in high places do. Just the thought of the existence of certain people, it makes me sick.

<<Isabel, what a pleasure to have you here! When your mother has told me that you would have stayed two days, she has filled my heart with joy. Now Lucia will show you your rooms.>>

<<Thank you very much, Frances. You are always very generous. You missed me much. You haven’t come visit us for a long time! How are your daughters? Are they always in England?>>

<<They are fine and they always tell me to greet you! Let me hug you, Isabel.>> She throw her arms around my neck and caresses me as only a mother can do. I love this woman, she is like a second mother for me. Who knows if Robbie and I will continue being so much friends as my mother and Frances. I really hope so!

We have spent the evening joyfully even if we were all very tired because of the drive. After supper the boys and girls have finally relaxed and have overcome the awkwardness. I had forgotten that Lucia was really a talented cook. She prepared a “divinely tasty” dish of spaghetti with seafood and sea-bass en papillote with salad, all accompanied with excellent white wine.

<<Isabel, you are right: Mrs Frances is really a very nice and youthful woman. Chatting with her is amusing.>> Rebecca tells me enthusiastically.

Absorbed and fascinated by Frances’ interesting stories, we didn’t realize that the time was passing. It’s very late now and we are starting to be sleepy.

Victor is the first one to fall in Sandman’s arms. <<Good night everyone>> he says while he tries to hold back a yawn.

Little by little all the others do the same and go to their rooms. Robbie and I stay and chat some more with Frances. I would never get tired of listening her talk. Who knows how much my mother and she had fun when they were young! I can well imagine them breaking hearts and getting on my maternal grandmother’s nerves. She is very harsh and I dare not think how many times she will have scolded her daughter for her “exuberance”. Luckily she’s not like that with me. Maybe getting old, you become more tolerant and patient.

<<Isabel, you’re worried about something, aren’t you? You know, nothing can escape me. You’re like a daughter to me and you can’t pull the wool over my eyes...>> she scrutinizes me waiting for my answer.

I look downward on the floor not to meet her inquiring eyes. But she doesn’t give up and perseveres: <>

<<No, I’m just a little tired lately. So I decided to take a break from training otherwise I would arrive to the day of the competition powerless and exhausted.>> I answer off the top of my head before she investigates too deeply. I don’t even know what to say, why I’m feeling so melancholy is a mystery to me too.

<<It’s true, sometimes it’s good to have a little detachment from everyday life. But I continue doubting that you aren’t the usual cheerful girl ever. Whatever it is, you know you can count on me. You did well to come here. In this way you have a change of scenery. Now just rest and scoot off to bed!>> Frances exclaims approaching and kissing me on the forehead.

<<It’s really a pleasure to meet you Roberta. I’m glad that our Isabel has a friend like you. She desired a sister a lot and she has acquired her with you. Keep an eye on this little rascal.>>

Frances kisses also Robbie on the forehead and we head for our bedrooms.

I sink my head in the soft pillow and before falling asleep I send a text message to Max:

Good night, I miss you! Kisses

He answers me immediately:

I miss you too. Remember to be a good girl and don’t get too close to other guys when you’re at the beach. Good night!

I smile and finally fall asleep.

The weekend goes on in a big way: sun, sea, beach games, junk food, disco and a lot of light heartedness I really needed!!! It has been all too short and Turin with its monotony awaits us.

<<Thanks for the hospitality, Frances. We all had a great time. These boys and girls already love you! I’ll miss you. Please, come visit us soon.>> I hug the wonderful woman who has allowed us to spend a terrific weekend and we leave. Of course I’m the designated driver but the truth is that I don’t mind so much after all. When the road is free-flowing and I have music to keep me company, I feel like the mistress of the world. Meanwhile Robbie fell asleep. I won’t wake her thus I can lose myself in my thoughts without arousing indiscreet questions.

Back home we all head for our rooms. We have to rest and prepare psychologically ourselves for the beginning of a new week of hard work.

The alarm goes off and I jump from the bed watching the time with sleepy eyes. Damn! It’s already time to get up! It’s only Wednesday and I feel tired as if it was already Friday, wearing the weight of a week . I snort, stretch myself on the bed and try to gather my strength to face another long day. Summer is not long over and the city has resumed its rhythm: people running after public transport, drivers who insult each other to the car horn and students of all ages with a backpack and with the indolence that can be seen from their expressions, just like me today. Sooner or later I want to take a day off and lounge in bed all day making me only cradle by idleness.

This traffic light doesn’t want to turn green! While I wait to cross the road I’m bewitched by a celestial vision. There’s a guy in front of me on the other side of the road who’s waiting to cross. He’s handsome to take your breath away, like someone out of a billboard. Brown hair with shades of wheat colour, eyes as blue as the sky in a summer day and he is as tall and mighty as a Greek God: it’s impossible not to notice him. I hope he didn’t perceive my steady gaze. We cross the road in opposite directions and for a moment I meet his eyes. I feel like a fifteen-years-old girl and, overawed by that magnetic look, I blush. I proceed in my direction and try to get rid of the embarrassment, but when I come in the classroom I still find myself trying to get that wonderful vision out of my head and to take my stupid smile off my face. I start even to feel guilty towards Max. What would he think of his girlfriend dazed at the sight of another man?

The morning drags on heavily between long or boring lessons. Time seems not to pass and my clock is there to remind me that every time I watch it. Luckily it’s time to take our lunch break.

<<Planet Earth calls Isabel... So, do you want to make me part of your today’s bewilderment or you want to keep it all for you?>> Roberta asks, intrigued by my attitude of teenager with the head in the clouds.

<<Not a big deal, Robbie. This morning while I was coming here I bumped into a not emotionless vision. I feel like Cinderella after seeing for the first time her prince.>>

<<Where have you seen him?>> she asks with curiosity.

<<He was standing at the traffic light. Now that I mention it he had a road map in his hands. Who knows where he was going! Maybe he is not even Italian, from the aspect he could come from Northern Europe...>>

<<Why don’t I ever have these meetings?>> Robbie snorts. <<And don’t you think of your Max? Don’t you think about how he would be hurt if he knows that you remained in a daze thinking of a stranger? Anyway, if you happen to see him again, think that I’m still single!!>> we both laugh.

The first part of my day is over. Now I have to run home to help my mother and then dedicate myself to dance. Sunday I’m going to have a dance recital and bad impressions aren’t allowed. <<Strength and courage, Isabel! Get a move on!>> I say to myself aloud.

<<Isabel!>> my mother screams.

<<Tell me!>> I answer, caught unawares by her agitated tone and diverted in an impetuous way from my thoughts.

<<Listen, I need you to give me an hand to settle the guest bedroom. A new tenant is coming and he will have to stay here with us for some time. I haven’t had much time this morning to get organized and I knew of his arrival only few minutes ago. I didn’t know he arrived today.>>

<<Is he a student?>> I ask with curiosity.

<<He isn’t. Don’t make questions now but help me before he arrives!>>

Sometimes I think my parents have really a lot of work with this huge three-story house. The ground floor consists of a hall, a very large dining room, a living room with a fireplace where we usually gather to watch TV or to converse and receive guests, a large American-style kitchen and then my favourite room: the gym where my parents placed a huge mirror all over the wall and a sound system. On the first floor there are the six rooms with bathroom that we rent and my father’s office. Instead, on the second floor there’s my bedroom with external bathroom, my parent’s bedroom with service and finally the guest room. On the top floor there’s a very large terrace where in summer we go to sunbathe and sometimes to eat with friends. Fortunately we have a housekeeper who helps us. My mother is a tireless woman, she takes care of everything, even to prepare meals for the kids. Maybe she would also need to go on vacation and take some rest.

We changed the sheets and cooled the room. Now we just have to wait for the guest.

<<Do you still need me?>> I ask my mother with the hope that I can duck out.

<<No, my dear. Go back to your workouts. Thanks for giving me a hand.>> she says mildly. Finally she relaxed.

<<You’re welcome.>> I go away giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Before going down I go in my bedroom to wear a black jumpsuit. I go to the kitchen to get some water and then I run to the gym. “From this moment on no more distractions, Isabel!” I turn on the stereo and begin to warm-up.

Heaven Out of Hell by Elisa fills the room and finally the song and I are one. There’s nothing more exciting than getting carried away by music. It makes me feel free, happy and able to fly. I will never stop dancing. It’s the thing that makes me happy the most.

While I’m vaulting I feel observed. I stop and see a silhouette reflected in the mirror. It’s behind me leaning against the door. I can’t believe my eyes! I’m a heap of conflicting emotions. That look overawes me! How is it possible? Usually no one affects me this way. I’m paralysed, unable to utter a single word in amazement. Ironically that wonderful Greek God that I met this morning at the traffic light is here, in my gym, and he’s looking at me with a beautiful smile! I’m going to melt like snow in the sun. He has tousled hair that gives him a very sexy air, wears a grey cotton long-sleeved shirt and black jeans and holds a black leather jacket. He could easily be a model. He has a well formed and lean body. I’m practically making him the X-rays! I don’t know how long he is there staring at me. I continue observing that wonder in front of me for I don’t know how long. It seems as endless moments have passed and I feel rather embarrassed. Luckily my parents come to save me.

<<Isabel, this is Matthias. He is the new tenant I told you about>> my mother says, noticing my discomfort.

<<Nice to meet you!>> I say almost stammering. Luckily I can pretend that it’s shortness of breath due to the physical activity from which I have been interrupted.

<<Nice to meet you too, Isabel! From what I’ve seen you should be a dancer and, I dare say, even pretty good!>> Matthias says to dampen the formality of introductions but without taking his eyes from mine.

<<Thank you. I dance since I was a baby... If I wasn’t good I would be worried a little>> I answer with an ironic and perhaps slightly hateful tone: as far as he makes me happy about the fact that, unconsciously, with that sentence he helped me overcame the initial frost or paralysis in which I had fallen. I don’t want him to realize how much he affects me.

Mentally I thank my parents who invite him to visit the rest of the house and soon I take advantage of this to take the reins of my self control back and to metabolise what happened. I turn off the stereo, wipe the sweat from my forehead and head for the hall to reach the stairs and go to take a shower. I don’t know if I’d like to freshen up for the sweat in the gym or if I need a cold shower to recover from the hot flush that has possessed me when I have had the vision of that beautiful man.

Also Matthias is in the hall to retrieve his luggages.

<<Can I give you a hand?>> I ask him putting shyness aside.

<<No, thanks>> he answers smiling at me

I almost melt again looking at his face. I smile too and climb the stairs taking the steps two by two to avoid further contacts with his eyes. What the hell is happening to me? I feel like an idiot. Not even in adolescence a thing like that has ever happened to me.

I meet my mother near my bedroom and ask her: <<Why did you decide to rent the guest room too? It’s the first time it happens. Usually when we are fully booked you have never rented this room...>>

<<Matthias is the nephew of a dear old friend of mine, so he is a very special person for us. He is here in Turin for work and, having not other rooms available, your father and I have decided to host him in this room.>>

While we are speaking he comes to us and my mother helps him to settle down in his room.

<<Isabel, get some towels for Matthias, please.>>

<<Yes, I’ll be right there.>> I take what I was asked and while they’re still in the room I hear my mother who’s talking with Matthias.

<<I’m sorry that this room has not a bathroom as the others. Unfortunately the space didn’t allow us to build one and so to avoid making a too small room we decided not to put it. Usually this is the room we use for friends who stay no more than a few days. You can use the bathroom that is next to Isabel’s bedroom and you’ll have to share it.>>

I can’t believe my ears! She’s allowing him to use my bathroom, invading in this manner my privacy and my cosiness. Good heavens! Only the thought of having to share something with him gives me anxiety. I begin to hate my mother at this moment, I can’t even hold back a grimace of displeasure towards her. Luckily it was noticed only by her. Then, arming myself with a shy smile I address Matthias: <>

I come in my room and lie down on the bed a few minutes, breathing deeply to succeed in focusing myself on the many news of this day.

A freshen up was really what I needed. I relaxed and now I’m ready to deal with the evening with the awareness of having to meet the depth and the blue of Matthias’ eyes again. I go into the living room to join the others who luckily are already there introducing themselves to the newcomer.

I look at my friends’ face and I realise that Greek God Matthias not only makes a strange effect on me. His beauty is bewitching. The only difference is that they can communicate with him without stumbling over their words and without being ridiculous as I did!

<<Well met, Isabel! Your mother has been very kind to make me go around the house and to introduce me to the other boys and girls. I saw the terrace and I wanted to congratulate you. She said that you take care of it and, particularly, of the roses.>>

I nod and thank him. My heart beats wildly because he continues staring at me... It’s really embarrassing. I can’t help blushing.

The phone ring brings me back to reality.

<<Isabel is for you!>> my father yells from the hallway.

<<Hello! This is Isabel>> I answer nonchalantly.

<<Hey! I’ve been calling and calling on the mobile phone...>> Max reproaches me.

<<Forgive me, I must have left it carelessly in the gym.>>

<>

<> I lie.

<<See you later then and, please, don’t be late as usual!>>

While I talk on the phone, I notice the presence of Matthias who doesn’t hesitate to listen and I see his eyes suddenly become sad. I look away from him and concentrate on the conversation. <<See you later at 9 p.m.!>>

Lately Max and I don’t spend much time together. Once we saw every night and we spoke on the phone at least a dozen times a day. Little by little we realized that maybe it would be better to meet less. The wait has its charm.

I hang up the phone and come back in the living room: <<Sorry guys and girls! You know how Max is. If he doesn’t hear from me a thousand times a day he goes out of his mind!>>

<<Don’t worry, Isabel!>> Rebecca exclaims.

<<We were asking Matthias if he would like to go out with us. In this way we will show him this wonderful city and maybe we could also go to some clubs>> Alex says.

<<Of course! I’d love it!>> Matthias answers enthusiastically.

<<What do you say? Will you bear our company?>> I ask him with a shy glance.

He nods without saying a words, continuing to stare at me. I have to overcame this feeling of embarrassment. Now I make him many questions. Maybe, becoming acquainted with him, this fear of meeting his eyes will end. Strength and courage!

I reset everything and with calmness ask him: <<Where do you come from?>>

<> he answers looking at me as if before him there was another person.

In fact I’ve sent away the awkward teenager who had taken possession of my mind. I don’t know how I’m succeeding in it but I’m coming back to me. It’s about time!

<<Wow, I love Rome! It’s wonderful, but I couldn’t live there. It’s too chaotic and packed with tourists. Maybe one day you will guide us in your city. I’ve never finished visiting all Rome.>>

<<Sure! When you want, Isabel, I’ll be at your disposal.>> he says without concealing a sly smile.

<<I’ll remember it when I want to escape Turin and my thousand commitments.>>

“And maybe when you will stop getting embarrassed when you look at him.” My subconscious intervenes.

Between a chat and the other the time flew. My mother invites us to take a seat at the table. Somehow she saved me again.

At dinner Matthias is much involved and not at all in trouble. This thing makes me hope in a unexpectedly natural way for his rapid integration into the group and makes me wish, again, to win quite so rapidly the embarrassment that his presence causes me. I get lost when I observe him. He has something mysterious. When he is absent-minded the light in his eyes changes. What is he worried about? Handsome and mysterious... I have to stop looking at him like that. Sooner or later someone will notice it and that’s not good. I give a glance at the clock on the wall and I realize that it’s really late. It’s already 8 p.m and Max will be here in an hour. I say goodbye to everybody and get up to go in my bedroom. When I’m next to the staircase, I realized that Matthias has followed me.

<<Will you bear us?>> I challenge him ironically while we climb the stairs together.

<> he exclaims smiling at me.

<>

<<I’m not at all tired. I think I will arrange some things in my bedroom and then I’ll dedicate myself to read a book. I’m sorry for invading your space... You know, for the bathroom...>>

<<Don’t worry, I can tolerate it>> I say smiling at him.

Matthias is in his bedroom and throw himself on the bed thinking amused about Isabel’s exuberance and awkwardness. He is bewildered too by the many emotions of the day’s events. He feels attracted to that girl. He thinks back on the moment he saw her whirl. He would have stayed hours watching her while she danced. Since he met her piercing hazel eyes he could no longer look away from her. He is aware of her embarrassment. He feels attracted not only to her appearance but also to her vulnerability that she wants to hide by irony and self-confidence. He found her irresistible when she joined them in the living room wearing that cream dress that left her long toned legs uncovered. Isabel: a particularly beautiful face, framed by long brown hair with russet shades, big amber brown eyes, well designed full lips that contrast with the spontaneous and innocent expression. She has a toned body, a round and well-shaped bottom, generous breasts, narrow waist and curves in all the right places... Evidently, the sport has helped her to ensure that her body was modelled in the right places. Certainly she does not go unnoticed, everything about her is perfection and sensuality... Overwhelmed by Isabel’s thought he forgets for a while his problems and the real reason that has led him to move to Turin for some time.