“Sammy, then.” Amariah smiled. “Welcome to this life, Sammy. And may God bless you both.”
She helped the midwife bundle the soiled linens, closing the door gently to let the new mother sleep. Yet even as she washed her hands and arms, the image of the new baby lingered, his tiny wrinkled fists ready to take on a hard life, his pink mouth as wide and demanding as a little bird’s, ready to announce his hunger and indignation to the world.
“Miss Penny?” Pratt stood before her, even more anxious than usual. “Miss Penny, his grace is here for you.”
“His grace?” Amariah stared at him, her thoughts still on the new baby.
“His Grace the Duke of Guilford, miss.” Pratt nodded, as if confirming this for himself as well as for her. “I have put his grace in the front parlor.”
“Guilford!” Oh, merciful heavens, how had she forgotten so completely about him? Swiftly she tore off her bloodstained apron and ran toward the stairs, smoothing her hair as best she could, then flung open the twin doors to the parlor.
“Good day, your grace,” she said with a sweeping curtsy. “Forgive me for keeping you waiting, but I had an unexpected emergency that needed my attention below stairs.”
She smiled warmly, but Guilford only stared, his expression oddly frozen.
“Good day to you, too, Miss Penny,” he said at last. “It would appear that I’ve caught you at an, ah, inopportune time. Shall I wait for you to recollect yourself?”
“I won’t make you wait at all, your grace,” she said, puzzled. “I’ll just send for my bonnet, and I’ll be ready.”
He shook his head, for once seemingly at a loss for what to say. “I shall be glad to wait, you know. Perfectly glad.”
“But there’s no reason for it, your grace,” she began, then caught him looking down at her dress. It wasn’t the usual kind of admiring gentleman’s look, but a silently appalled and beseeching look, and quickly she turned toward the glass over the fireplace to judge for herself.
She was still wearing the plain gray wool gown she’d chosen for morning prayer, now rumpled and wrinkled and stained where her apron hadn’t covered her enough. She wore no jewelry, and her hair, though mussed, was still drawn back tight in a knot at the back of her head.
It wasn’t much different than how she usually looked for day, but Guilford wouldn’t know that. Whenever he saw her, she was always dressed in one of her blue Penny House gowns, fashionably cut low and revealing, with white plumes pinned into her curled hair and paste jewels sparkling around her throat. How she looked for the evenings was as much a part of the club as the Italian paintings on the wall or the green cloth covering the hazard table upstairs, and no more a part of her, either.
She glanced back at him with that pathetically woeful expression on his face. Of course, he was wearing his same habitual coat, so dark a blue as to be nearly black, a green-flowered silk waistcoat draped with a heavy gold watch chain and cream-colored trousers, all chosen to please himself and without a thought for where they were going. Had he truly expected her to match him, and dress in the gaudy blue silk and paste necklace for calling on almshouses?
“I’m perfectly content to wait,” he said again, adding a coaxing smile. “Take as long as you wish. I understand how ladies can be, you know.”
“Oh, I’m sure you do, your grace,” she said, smiling in return. She understood him, too, and likely a good deal better than he either realized or wished. “I suppose I am a bit untidy. I’ll take those few minutes to refresh myself, and be back before you miss me. Shall I send for Pratt to bring you refreshment?”
“That excellent fellow has already tended to me.” He gathered the glass from the table beside him, raising it toward her like a toast. “Hurry back, sweetheart. And mind that I’m most partial to the color blue on a lady like you.”
“I’ll take that into consideration, your grace,” she said as she backed from the room.
But now it was outrage that sent her marching up the stairs to her private rooms to change, her heels clicking fiercely on the treads of the steps. For an intelligent man, the duke was behaving like a first-rate dunce. This was the other night after the wedding all over again. Did Guilford really believe her memory was this short? She’d asked him to join her today for educational purposes, not to amuse him, and she knew she’d made her intentions perfectly clear.
Quickly she shed the soiled gown, washed, and brushed her hair, then stood before the other gowns that hung in the cupboard. She didn’t possess the vast wardrobe that Guilford seemed to believe. Beyond the dramatic gowns for evening that she and her sisters wore for their roles at Penny House, there wasn’t much that would meet the stylish standards of a duke. The only one that might do was a soft blue wool day gown with a ruffled hem, complete with a matching redingote with more ruffles across the bust, and a velvet bonnet in a deeper blue—an ensemble designed by her fashionable sister Cassia, and the one Amariah wore when she and her sisters went driving in the park together. She touched her fingers to one of the ruffles and smiled, imagining how pleased Guilford would be to see she’d obeyed his request.
Then she resolutely turned to the gown beside it. A serviceable dove gray with dull pewter buttons, high necked and as plain as a foggy day: a dress somber enough for a poor neighborhood. Amariah’s smile widened with fresh determination as she reached for the gown and drew it over her head.
Guilford wouldn’t be partial to this color, or the sturdy plainness of her gown, either. She didn’t care, or rather she did for the opposite reasons. At least she knew how to dress unobtrusively and suitably when the situation called for it.
And as for her so-called reputation as a virago: ah, for a virago the gray gown would be entirely appropriate!
“H ere I am, your grace,” Amariah said, tugging on her glove as she stood in the doorway to the hall. “You’ve been most kind to wait for me, and now, you see, I’m ready whenever you please.”
Guilford turned, the easy, welcoming smile already on his face for her, and stopped short.
What in blazes was she wearing now? A nun’s habit? A winding cloth? Sackcloth and ashes?
“You are ready?” he echoed. As rumpled and unappealing as her dress had been earlier, he would have taken it over this without a second’s hesitation. The gray shapeless gown and jacket were bad enough, burying all semblance of her delightfully curving body in coarse gray wool, but she’d scraped her hair back from her forehead so tightly that she’d lost every last coppery curl, and then tied a dreadful flat chip hat over a white linen cap. She looked like the sorriest serving girl fresh from the country, or worse, perhaps from some sooty mill town.
What had happened to the delicious Amariah Penny? And how could he possibly take her into Carlisle’s dressed like this?
“Have you changed your mind, your grace?” she asked sweetly. “You know I won’t think an iota less of you if you’ve decided you’d rather retreat than accompany me.”
One more look at that awful gray gown, and he very nearly did. Yet there was something in her eye—an extra sparkle of triumph—that stopped him. He couldn’t forget that Amariah Penny was no ordinary female, and she wouldn’t rely on ordinary female wiles, either. If she thought she’d shed him simply because she’d made herself as ugly as possible, why, then he was ready to prove her wrong.
“Nothing could make me abandon you, Miss Penny,” he said with as gallant a bow as he could muster—which, coming from him, was impressively gallant indeed. “Abandonment is not a word I acknowledge when it comes to a lady.”
“Of course not, your grace,” she said as he joined her in the hall. A footman was holding the front door open for them, and she sailed on through. “I must thank you again for offering your chaise today, your grace. It will make everything so much easier and more pleasant.”
“The pleasure is mine, Miss Penny,” he said, then stopped short with surprise for the second time that morning.
There stood his chaise where he’d left it, standing before the carriage block, the blue paint shining in the sun. But now Amariah’s man Pratt was there at the curb, too, directing three Penny House servants who were loading wicker hampers, covered with checked cloths, into the chaise.
His chaise.
She glanced over her shoulder at him, adjusting the flat brim of her hideous hat, and he caught that extra sparkle of a dare in her eye again. “I trust you are in a charitable humor today, your grace.”
“Charitable?” he said indignantly. “You’ve turned my chaise into a dray wagon! What in blazes is in those baskets, anyway?”
“Food,” she said as if it were perfectly obvious. “The places we are to visit are always in need of food for hungry folk, your grace, and I try to provide what I can. Come, there’s still plenty of room for us inside.”
“Well, that’s a blessing,” he said glumly as he followed her down the steps. How could he begin to seduce her when they’d be packed cheek to jowl with her wretched baskets like a farmer and his wife on market day? If he saw any of his friends with her like this, he’d never hear the end of it.
“Indeed it is a blessing for those we benefit, your grace,” she said, clearly refusing to hear the sarcasm in his voice. “We all do what we can, don’t we?”
He didn’t answer. He’d wager a handful of guineas that if it had been after dark and she’d been standing with him inside the club, wearing one of those handsome blue gowns, then she would not only have understood his other meaning, she would have laughed aloud.
“Here you are, your grace, seat yourself,” she continued as she climbed into the crowded chaise, “and I’ll tuck myself into this little place. I’ll grant you it’s snug, but we shall manage.”
“Snug, hell,” he muttered crossly as he squeezed his long legs into the small space she’d allotted to him. “Snug is what we’d be if you were beside me, not with this infernal basket wedged between us.”
She smiled, tipping her head to one side. Sunlight filtered through the woven brim of her hat, dappling her face with tiny pinpricks of light. “The basket won’t be here for so very long, your grace, and I promise you it will do such a world of good that you’ll feel infinitely better about yourself, much better than from the simple sensation of my skirts brushing against your leg.”
He smiled in return, thinking of what might have been if she weren’t being so damned perverse.
“It wouldn’t have been the brush of your skirts, Miss Penny,” he said, “but the pleasant warmth of your thigh pressed against mine. Nothing simple about that, I can assure you.”
“How wonderful it must be for you to have such confidence in your opinions, your grace!” she exclaimed wryly. “To be able to give your assurance as easy as that—why, I almost envy you!”
“Except that envy is one of the seven deadly sins, and you, as a parson’s daughter, would never, ever dream of sinning.”
“One must have goals, your grace,” she said serenely. “Likely yours has been to experience every one of those seven sins for yourself.”
“Not at all,” he declared. “I’m not even sure I could name the seven, let alone describe them on a comfortable, given-name basis.”
Her smile widened as she held up her hands, ticking off each sin on a finger. “Envy, pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony and sloth. Those are the seven deadly ones.”
He frowned. He wished he hadn’t asked; he didn’t like realizing that, at one time or another, he had in fact been guilty of most of the seven. Come to think of it, he was practicing at least two of them at this very moment, sitting with her in his luxurious chaise with the crest on the door.
“There are more than seven sins?” he asked warily.
“Oh, yes,” she said, too cheerfully for comfort. “There are the sins that cry out to heaven for vengeance, as well as the sins of the angels. I don’t have fingers enough for them all.”
“At least there’s no sin in that,” he said with a heartiness that he didn’t quite feel. He was on shaky ground here, and they both knew it. “I suppose I should know better than to banter about sins with the vicar’s daughter.”
“At least bickering isn’t a mortal sin, your grace,” she said. “Not even on the Sabbath.”
“I suppose not.” He turned toward her, or at least as far as he could in the crowded seat. “Look here, why don’t we speak of something more agreeable than all this hellfire and damnation?”
Amused, she leaned back against the seat, an almost languid pose that was much at odds with her prim dress.
“Sins alone don’t earn damnation, your grace,” she said. “It’s only if you don’t show repentance that you’ll run into trouble when you die. But if you’d rather not speak of the state of your soul, I’ve no objection to finding a new subject.”
“Very well,” he said, more relieved than he’d want to admit. “What shall it be? The weather? The crowds in the street around us? Where we shall dine this evening? What member is cheating the club at hazard?”
Surprise flickered across her face, only for an instant—she was very good at hiding her emotions—but enough for him to know what he’d overheard between two servants last night was true.
“Wherever did you learn such a thing, your grace?” she asked with forced lightness. “A cheat at the Penny House table?”
He smiled, the advantage back in his court. “You’re not denying it.”
“Because it’s too preposterous to deny,” she declared. “Our membership consists of only the first gentlemen in the land. How could I suspect one of them of cheating?”
“Because gentlemen hate to lose, perhaps more than other men,” he said. “Because gentlemen can be desperate, too. Because if you are as pathetically trusting as you wish me to believe, then I must report you to the membership committee at once, before you let some villain steal away everything from under your nose.”
Bright pink flooded her cheeks—an angry, indignant pink, not a blush at all. “That will not happen, your grace. You have my word.”
He smiled indulgently. “You can’t simply wish away a scandal, my dear.”
“I’m not,” she said tartly, “and I’ve taken action to stop it. You should know me well enough by now, your grace, to realize that I am not too proud to ask for assistance if I need it.”
“And you in turn should know me well enough to come to me if the troubles rise around your ankles.” He reached his hand out across the back of the seat so it almost—almost—brushed hers. “It’s far better to reach out for a lifeline than to let yourself drown.”
She shifted away from his hand. “How fascinating that you regard yourself in that way, your grace.”
“Oh, I regard myself in a great many ways, Miss Penny,” he said, “and you should feel free to do the same.”
“You can play at being my Father Confessor all you want, but I still won’t invent a scandal simply for the sake of telling it to you.”
“Even if it’s no invention?” he asked softly. “Even if it’s true?”
“No,” she said, raising her chin a fraction in a way he recognized as a challenge. “Especially because it’s not.”
He sighed, willing to concede for now. She’d confide in him eventually, anyway. Ladies always confided in him, and they’d have the entire rest of the day together. “You’re a stubborn creature, Miss Penny.”
“You’re back to that virago nonsense again, aren’t you?” She narrowed her eyes a fraction. “Why is it that when a man holds firm, he is steadfast, but when a woman does it, she’s stubborn?”
He laughed. Oh, she was good, virago or not, and his admiration for her rose another notch. “I’ll stand corrected. You, Miss Penny are steadfast, not stubborn.”
“I suppose I should thank you for that,” she said. “Or didn’t you intend it as a compliment?”
“I did,” he said. “And well deserved it is, too. I can offer more if you’d like.”
“I’m sure you could.” Her mouth curved wryly to one side. “But I’ve a better suggestion for conversation, your grace. Let us speak of you.”
“Of me?” He hadn’t expected that. “An agreeable enough subject, so long as we keep from my sins. Perhaps I’ll begin by telling you how much I enjoy your company.”
She leaned forward, toward him, her elbows on her knees and her hands clasped.
“Bother that,” she said. “I already know you enjoy my company, else you wouldn’t have asked for more of it this afternoon. I want to learn something new about you. Tell me of your childhood—your first pony’s name, your favorite tree to climb, the vegetable you found most loathsome to eat in your nursery suppers. What manner of boy were you, anyway?”
“My manner was ill-mannered, truth be told,” he said, laughing. “I was the only boy after four girls, the heir to my father’s title that everyone had long abandoned hope of ever living to see. I arrived seven years after my youngest sister, a complete surprise that set every church bell in the county to pealing. I was so petted and coddled that it’s a wonder I wasn’t completely spoiled for anything useful.”
She grinned wickedly. “Some might disagree with you, your grace.”
He returned her grin, relishing its warmth. Women didn’t generally ask him about his childhood, and it rather pleased him that she had. “Perhaps I am spoiled. But I had a deuced fine time as a boy, I can tell you that. I spent most of the year in the country, at Guilford Abbey, getting into whatever mischief I could.”
“That’s in Essex, isn’t it?”
“Devon,” he said, the pride clear in his voice as he let himself sink into a hazy, happy recollection of the past. “‘Devon is Heaven,’ my father used to say, and there was no finer place for any boy. I had a new pony every summer to match my height as I grew, a whole pack of dogs that trooped along with me and a boat to sail in the duck pond. I went hunting and fishing with my uncles and my sisters’ husbands, played out the American war in the orchards with my cousins and ate my fill of sweet biscuits and jam with the servants at the big table in the kitchen.”
“So even the servants spoiled you,” she said softly, watching him from beneath the brim of that dreadful hat.
“Oh, they were the worst of the lot,” he said. “Cook always had a soft spot for me, and she was always baking me special little pies, carving my initials in the top of the crust.”
That made her smile. “So you wanted for absolutely nothing.”
“Not a blessed thing,” he agreed. “I was the happiest little rogue alive.”
“I hope you won’t forget that, your grace,” she said, glancing out the window as the chaise slowed. “Ah, we’ve arrived.”
Curious, he turned toward the window, as well; he’d been so caught up in his reminiscing that he’d no notion of how far they’d traveled. He looked, and saw, and his expression at once grew somber.
Could there have been a more different scene from the green Devon hills he’d been describing? They’d long ago left the neat, fashionable prosperity of St. James Square for a neighborhood in London that he knew he’d never visited before.
Here the houses were so old they seemed ready to topple into the street, ancient timbers and beams that somehow must have survived the Great Fire over a hundred years before. Broken windows were stuffed with handfuls of dirty straw, or simply left open and gaping, like a broken tooth in a drunkard’s smile. No reputable trades kept businesses here, but every other building seemed to house an alehouse or gin shop. Even on a Sunday, last night’s customers still sprawled on the steps, while a few desultory women with bodices open and cheeks painted with tawdry red circles tried to lure their first customers of the day.
Because the afternoon was warm, and the same sun that shone on the rich folk in their open carriages in Green Park also fell here, the street was also filled with dirty, barefoot children, cripples on makeshift crutches, babies wailing with hunger in their too-young mothers’ arms, mongrel dogs scrapping over an old mutton bone, and costermongers hawking fruit and vegetables too rotten for the better streets. The street itself was unpaved, with a deep kennel in the center filled with standing, putrid water, thick with dead rats and human filth.
His coachman would have seventeen fits when he saw that muck on the gold-trimmed wheels of the chaise.
Amariah was unlatching the door herself, not waiting for the footman. “Mind yourself, your grace. They’ll all ask you for something. But if you give one a coin, then fifty more will suddenly appear with their hands out, too, so I’ve found it’s best not to begin. They’ll only squander it on gin, anyway, which is why I prefer to give them food instead.”
Just as she warned, beggars of every age were already crowding around the door with their filthy hands outstretched like so many claws, pressing so closely that they rocked the chaise on its springs and made the horses whinny nervously.
“Hold now, Miss Penny, you can’t go out there with them!” he said, grabbing her arm to keep her back. “It’s not safe!”
She looked back at him over her shoulder, incredulous and a little disdainful at the same time, as she shook her arm free of his hand.
“Of course I can, your grace,” she said, looping one of the baskets into the crook of her arm, “and I do, every Sunday.”
“But consider what you’re doing, Miss Penny, the risk you are taking—”
“Being poor and hungry does not turn a person into a dangerous beast, your grace,” she said firmly. “But if you are too frightened for your own safety, then you may feel free to remain here.”
Before he could catch her again, she’d pushed the door open and hopped outside, holding the basket before her like a wicker shield as she made her way through the beggars. Now he realized they’d stopped before a woebegone little church, bits of stonework broken away like a stale pie crust and the once-red paint worn from the tall arched doors. The church’s pastor stood before one of these doors, smiling and holding it open for Amariah and her baskets.
“Your grace?” One of his footmen belatedly appeared at the door, his expression as confused as Guilford’s own must be. “If you please, your grace, what—”
“Damnation, take those infernal baskets down for Miss Penny!” He couldn’t let Amariah go alone, not into this mess, and with a deep breath he pushed past the footman into the crowd after her. The stench was appalling, and it took all his willpower not to cover his nose with his handkerchief. Who would have guessed other humans could smell as vile as the refuse beneath their feet?
“A penny, guv’nor, only a penny!”
“Please, sir, please, for me poor mum!”
“Sure, sure, a fine gentleman like yourself can spare a coin for a sufferer!”
Resolutely Guilford pushed forward, focusing on Amariah and not those jostling around him. With a horrible thought, he pressed his hand over his waistcoat, relieved to feel the comforting weight of his gold watch and chain still there. The timepiece had been in his family for generations, and he’d hate to have it nicked by one of these sorry rascals.
“Please, m’lord, please—”
“Not today, I’m afraid,” he mumbled. He told himself he was only following Amariah’s suggestion, but he still felt like some wretched miser with his pockets stitched shut. “I’ve no loose coins with me.”
Finally he reached the church, bounding up the worn stone steps and away from the beggars. His heart was pounding, and he could feel the unpleasant prickle of sweat beneath his shirt collar.
At least Amariah was beaming at him for his trouble, no inconsiderable consolation.
“Your grace, I should like to present Reverend Robert Potter,” she said in exactly the same easy, gracious tone she used when introducing foreign princes and other grandees at Penny House. “Reverend Potter is the vicar here at St. Crispin’s parish, and he sees that the food we bring from Penny House is given away to those who need it most. Reverend Potter, His Grace the Duke of Guilford. Lord Guilford is most interested in our charities, Reverend, and is accompanying me today to observe for himself.”
His hands clasped over the front of his plain black cassock, Potter nodded and smiled warmly. He was tall and thin, almost gaunt, but the kindness in his weathered blue eyes softened his entire face.
“I cannot tell you how honored I am to meet you, your grace, and to have you here at St. Crispin’s,” he said. “Would that more great lords were like you and Miss Penny, and took such a worthy interest in the sufferings of the unfortunate.”
Guilford cleared his throat and nodded in return, feeling like some sort of false play-actor standing on these steps. “Miss Penny can take all the credit,” he said. “She’s the one who brought me here.”
“She also seems to have brought more than the usual amount of food, your grace.” Potter watched with obvious approval as the footmen brought in the rest of the baskets from the chaise. “But how rare to have it delivered to us in a ducal carriage!”
Amariah looped her hand into his arm. “Come inside, your grace, and see everything that we brought.”
He let her lead him inside the church, cool and damp after the sun, and into a small hall to one side of the church itself. The bare walls were whitewashed, the worn planked floor swept clean, and three rows of long board tables ran the length of the room. As soon as the footmen set the baskets on the tables, two plainly dressed women and a boy in an uncocked black hat began unpacking them and arranging the food inside into wooden trenchers. There were no benches at the tables; after seeing the crowd outside, Guilford guessed they wouldn’t exactly sit and linger over their meal, anyway.
“As much as we brought, it won’t begin to be enough,” Amariah said as she, too, began to transfer apples from a basket to a trencher. “There are so many in London who are hungry, and they are quick to tell one another when they discover a place where charity food is to be had. As poor as this neighborhood is, I’d guess that more than half of those folk waiting outside are from other places, folk who’ve come here in hopes of being able to take away the hunger for even this day.”
One of the women carefully unwrapped a large roast goose with only a few slices missing from one side, a goose that Guilford recognized as having graced one of the sideboards at Penny House last night.
“That was left from us, Miss Penny, wasn’t it?” he asked, watching as the woman began slicing the meat free from the carcass. Their efficiency was making him feel uncomfortably idle.
“If from ‘us’ you mean from Penny House, then yes,” Amariah said, pausing to toss one of the apples lightly in her hand, like a red polished ball. “The members expect everything to be fresh for them each night, seasoned and served to exquisite perfection, and then, like naughty children, they scarce nibble at it before they turn to a new indulgence.”
“They’re entitled to their whims,” Guilford said, feeling he should defend his fellow members. “Especially considering what the membership is.”
“Well, yes,” she said, and smiled. “But I see nothing wrong in bringing what they choose to reject to others who are not quite so—so discerning.”
For the first time, he thought of how much must be wasted in a single night, of the plates of barely touched food that were whisked back downstairs, and thought, too, of how corpulent a good many of his friends and associates were, their well-fed bellies straining against their embroidered silk waistcoats. The prince himself had launched the fashion for excess; Guilford had heard it whispered that the waistband of His Highness’s breeches measured over fifty inches around.
“But those apples aren’t left from the club’s dining room tables,” he said. “You must’ve bought them just for today.”
“Ah, you are so vastly clever, your grace!” she said, and tossed the apple in her hand at him.
“You’d judge me clever, Miss Penny?” He caught the fruit easily in one hand, and flipped it back to her to cup in both hands. “At least I’m clever enough to know what became of old Adam after he took an apple from a lady.”
“Oh, but your grace, this fruit has no such conditions,” she said, laughing. “The apples, and the milk, bread, cider and cheeses all are bought with the profits from the gaming tables. We support these gatherings at St. Crispin’s, more at St. Andrew’s, and of course my sister Bethany’s own little ‘flock’ that gathers each day behind Penny House itself, and yet it’s only the barest beginnings. Are you lingering about with a purpose in mind, Billy Fox?”
“Aye, mum.” The boy who’d been helping grinned at her, tipping his head back to gaze boldly at her from beneath the crumpled brim of his scarecrow’s hat. “That’s how I rule me life. Purposeful, mum. Purposeful.”
“Purposefully impudent, I’d say,” Amariah said, but she laughed and tossed him the apple. At once the boy bit into it with hungry enthusiasm, heedless of the bits of apple and peel that now dotted his grin.
Guilford guessed he must be nine or ten—because he was so thin and wiry, it was difficult to tell—and while his clothes were as dirty and tattered as the others outside, at least he’d washed his hands before he began helping with the food. He had a choirboy’s blue eyes and golden curls combined with a born rascal’s cockiness, and Guilford liked him at once.
“I eat purposeful, too, mum,” Billy said between bites. “Nothing impudent ’bout that.”
“If the lady says you’re impudent, lad, then you are,” Guilford said, laughing, too. Strange that he’d just been speaking of his boyhood with Amariah, for this little rogue could have been cut from the same bolt of cloth as he’d once been himself. “You must trust me. I know from my own sorry experience. It’s not wise to cross Miss Penny.”