Loe raamatut: «The football of all my life! …and 2 stories: «Footballer's wedding», «Once upon a time air kiss!»»

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Photograph Serj Shuvalov

Translator http://www.translate.ru/

ISBN 978-5-4485-7621-8

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Once upon a time AIR-KISS!
story

There was a football ball of the great Brazilian football player Ronaldo. Ronaldo sent it to play to the friend-goalkeeper-fan! The trainer drew to him eyes and a smile. Here what handsome man turned out!

And here our lover in Ronaldo the football player instead of a game in the field began to sprinkle Ronaldo’s ball with air-kisses. The trainer tore on himself hair!

– Idiot! – the trainer shouted. The ball was in gate… The arbitrator’s whistle sounds. Break. One player was already waited in shower by the girl to have sex (the guy suffered 2 weeks). The doctor examined team. Everything is all right. And here he was treated with a strange water with Chile pepper… The trainer suggested to drink to the defender… that took 1 sip – in a mouth the FIRE! All team similar to a 11-glavovy firedrake ran to drink water. Who joked of football players? On a tribune football players overturned the fountain with a statue…

Fans were in shock. A form, gaiters, sneakers – everything was in ketchup and the earth…

It was necessary to cause “911” and to send trucks with liquid for washing of ware of “Fairy” from villages of “Villariba” and Villabadzho!

FUTBOLIT’S WEDDING
story

The sun warmed the rays, and Malto lying in a chaise lounge seized the laptop… Already half a year he looks for the bride! But photos of darlings deceived him… Instead of Pamela Anderson kept the appointment curve, cross-eyed unlucky persons with thick as liverny sausages, thighs… Well just Francois Villon’s poetry!

Malta drank 2 cups of coffee… It took a break to beat a boxing pear and cyznm to remove stress…

But here IT entered! Dazzling beauty the blonde with smart long hair also sat down opposite to it. Her look of roasting by brown eyes! As Pushkin would tell, it was “the genius of pure beauty”! Malta treated it with coffee…

But so far Malto waited when the bartender brings coffee, he was horrified when he saw hairy legs of the beauty! Both laughter, and sin: it was the transvestite!

As if scalded by boiled water, Malto ran out from club and ran with a ball towards church… The church was open…

“My dear pastor! I was tired to look for the bride! Marry me, please, here to this football ball: it is my LIFE, LOVE, MONEY, WEALTH and GLORY!”

SOCCER OF ALL MY LIFE
Story diary

Life as is a lot of football matches or as one big football matche

Germany! I am 18 years old. I got a job the selling assistant in federal network of autoshops. This is the official distributor of the German plant on production of video recorders and antiradars. For dinner I prepare a national German dish – stewed cabbage with fried sausages! The father opened a contribution in Austrian German bank… We bought winter boots to me in the Russian boutique of footwear. The footwear sewed on the German technologies! In music I prefer works of the German composer Ludwig Van Beethoven! In the evenings I become engrossed in reading of the novel by the German postmodernist Patrik Suskind! Das ist ja fast wie zu Hause! And in the childhood I collected toys from the German Kinder Surprise chocolate.

Father’s call. He is a football coach of team of one local plant.

The daddy, I congratulate you! Our favorite team became the champion!

Yes, the darling, I supported them! I also didn’t doubt these children! They showed a class and pulled out a victory at Brazilians! A game, of course, was heavy… But in soccer always so! How you, native?

At me everything is all right!

Come to me to the headquarters tonight, we have a banquet on the occasion of a victory of Germany today.

When?

In six! I will wait for you!

Kiss you! Bye bye!

And meanwhile in bar beautiful electronic music began to sound… There began a rehearsal local musicians. Prepare for an evening performance…

Tasuta katkend on lõppenud.