Loe raamatut: «Hand in Glove»

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Cast of Characters

1. Mr Pyke Period

2. Luncheon

3. Aftermath to a Party

4. Alleyn

5. Postscript to a Party

6. Interlude

7. Pixie

8. Period Piece

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About the Author

Also by the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher

CAST OF CHARACTERS

CHAPTER 1
Mr Pyke Period

While he waited for the water to boil, Alfred Belt stared absently at the kitchen calendar: ‘With the compliments of The Little Codling Garage. Service with a smile. Geo. Copper’. Below this legend was a coloured photograph of a kitten in a boot and below that the month of March. Alfred removed them and exposed a coloured photograph of a little girl smirking through apple blossom.

He warmed a silver teapot engraved on its belly with Mr Pyke Period’s crest: a fish. He refolded the Daily Press and placed it on the breakfast tray. The toaster sprang open, the electric kettle shrieked. Alfred made tea, put the toast in a silver rack, transferred bacon and eggs from pan to crested entrée dish and carried the whole upstairs.

He tapped at his employer’s door and entered. Mr Pyke Period, a silver-haired bachelor with a fresh complexion, stirred in his bed, gave a little snort, opened his large brown eyes, mumbled his lips, and blushed.

Alfred said: ‘Good morning, sir.’ He placed the tray and turned away in order that Mr Period could assume his teeth in privacy. He drew back the curtains. The village green looked fresh in the early light. Decorous groups of trees, already burgeoning, showed fragile against distant hills. Wood-smoke rose delicately from several chimneys and in Miss Cartell’s house across the green, her Austrian maid shook a duster out of an upstairs window. In the field beyond, Miss Cartell’s mare grazed peacefully.

‘Good morning, Alfred,’ Mr Period responded, now fully articulate.

Alfred drew back the curtains from the side window, exposing a small walled garden, a gardener’s shed, a path and a gate into a lane. Beyond the gate was a trench, bridged with planks and flanked by piled-up earth. Three labourers had assembled beside it.

‘Those chaps still at it in the lane, sir,’ said Alfred, returning to the bedside. He placed Mr Period’s spectacles on his tray and poured his tea.

‘Damn’ tedious of them, I must say. However! Good God!’ Mr Period mildly exclaimed. He had opened his paper and was reading the Obituary Notices. Alfred waited.

‘Lord Ormsbury’s gone,’ Mr Period informed him.

‘Gone, sir?’

‘Died. Yesterday it seems. Motor accident. Terrible thing. Fifty-two, it gives here. One never knows. “Survived by his sister – ”’ He made a small sound of displeasure.

‘That would be Desirée, Lady Bantling, sir, wouldn’t it?’ Alfred ventured, ‘at Baynesholme?’

‘Exactly, Alfred. Precisely. And what must these fellows do but call her “The Dowager”. She hates it. Always has. And not even correct, if it comes to that. One would have expected the Press to know better.’ He read on. A preoccupied look, indeed one might almost have said a look of pleasurable anticipation, settled about his rather babyish mouth.

Below, in the garden, a dog began to bark hysterically.

‘Good God!’ Mr Period said quietly and closed his eyes.

‘I’ll attend to her, sir.’

‘I cannot for the life of me see – however!’

‘Will there be anything further, sir?’ Alfred asked.

‘What? No. No, thank you. Miss Cartell for luncheon, you remember. And Miss Maitland-Mayne.’

‘Certainly, sir. Arriving by the ten twenty. Will there be anything required in the library, sir?’

‘I can’t think of anything. She’s bringing her own typewriter.’ Mr Period looked over the top of his paper and appeared to come to a decision. ‘Her grandfather,’ he said, ‘was General Maitland-Mayne. An old friend of mine.’

‘Indeed, sir?’

‘Ah – yes. Yes. And her father. Killed at Dunkirk. Great loss.’

A padded footfall was heard in the passage. A light tattoo sounded on the door and a voice, male but pitched rather high, called out, ‘Bath’s empty. For what it’s worth.’ The steps receded.

Mr Period repeated his sound of irritation.

‘Have I or have I not,’ he muttered, ‘taken my bath in the evening for seven uncomfortable weeks?’ He glanced at Alfred. ‘Well, well,’ he said. ‘Thank you.’

‘Thank you, sir,’ Alfred rejoined and withdrew.

As he crossed the landing, he heard Mr Cartell singing in his bedroom. ‘It won’t answer,’ Alfred thought, ‘I never supposed it would,’ and descended to the kitchen. Here he found Mrs Mitchell, the cook; a big and uninhibited woman. They exchanged routine observations, agreeing that spring really did seem to have come.

‘All hotsey-totsey in the upper regions?’ Mrs Mitchell asked.

‘As well as can be expected, Mrs M.’

A shrill yelp modulating into a long drawn out howl sounded outside. ‘That dog!’ Mrs Mitchell said.

Alfred went to the back door and opened it. An enormous half-bred boxer hurled itself against his legs and rushed past him to the kitchen. ‘Bitch!’ Alfred said factually, but with feeling.

‘Lay down! Get out of my kitchen! Shoo!’ Mrs Mitchell cried confusedly.

‘Here – Pixie!’

The boxer slavered, ogled and threshed its tail.

‘Upstairs! Pixie! Up to your master.’

Alfred seized the bitch’s collar and lugged it into the hall. A whistle sounded above. The animal barked joyously, flung itself up the stairs, skating and floundering as it went. Alfred sent a very raw observation after it and returned to the kitchen.

‘It’s too much,’ he said. ‘We never bargained for it. Never.’

‘I don’t mind a nice cat.’

‘Exactly. And the damage it does!’

‘Shocking. Your breakfast’s ready, Mr Belt. New-laid egg.’

‘Very nice,’ Alfred said. He sat down to it, a neat man with quite an air about him, Mrs Mitchell considered. She watched him make an incisive stab at the egg. The empty shell splintered and collapsed. Mrs Mitchell, in a trembling voice, said: ‘First of April, Mr B.,’ and threw her apron over her face. He was so completely silent that for a moment she thought he must be annoyed. However, when she peeped round her apron, he shook his egg-spoon at her.

‘You wait,’ he threatened. ‘You just wait, my lady. That’s all.’

‘To think of you falling for an old wheeze like that.’

‘And I changed the calendar too.’

‘Never mind. There’s the genuine articles, look. Under your serviette.’

‘Napkin,’ Alfred said. He had been in Mr Period’s service for ten years. ‘I don’t know if you’re aware of the fact,’ he added, taking the top off his egg, ‘but April Fool’s Day goes back to pagan times, Mrs Mitchell.’

‘Fancy! With your attainments, I often wonder you don’t look elsewhere for employment.’

‘You might say I lack ambition.’ Alfred paused, his spoon half-way to his mouth. ‘The truth of the matter is,’ he added, ‘I like service. Given favourable circumstances, it suits me. And the circumstances here are – or were – very nice.’

A telephone rang distantly. ‘I’ll answer it,’ Mrs Mitchell offered. ‘You take your breakfast in peace.’

She went out. Alfred opened his second egg and his Daily Mail and was immersed in both when she returned.

‘Miss Cartell,’ she said.

‘Oh?’

‘Asking for her brother, “Oh,” she says. “Mrs Mitchell!” she says, “just the person I wanted to have a word with!” You know her way. Bluff, but doing the gracious.’

Alfred nodded slightly.

‘And she says, “I want you,” she says, “before I say anything to my brother, to tell me, absolutely frankly,” she says, “between you and me and the larder shelf, if you think the kweezeen would stand two more for lunch.” Well!’

‘To whom was she referring?’

‘To that Miss Moppett and a friend. A gentleman friend, you may depend upon it. Well! Asking me! As far as the kweezeen is concerned, a nice curry can be stretched, as you know yourself, Mr Belt, to ridiculous lengths.’

‘What did you say?’

‘“I’m sure, miss,” I says, just like that! Straight out! “My kitchen,” I says, “has never been found wanting in a crisis,” I says, and with that I switched her up to his room.’

‘Mr Period,’ Alfred said, ‘will not be pleased.’

‘You’re telling me! Can’t stand the young lady, to give her the benefit of the title, and I’m sure I don’t blame him. Mr Cartell feels the same, you can tell. Well, I mean to say! She’s no relation. Picked up nobody knows where and educated by a spinster sister to act like his niece, which call her as you may have remarked, Mr Belt, he will not. A bad girl, if ever I see one, and Miss Cartell will find it out one of these days, you mark my words.’

Alfred laid aside his paper and continued with his breakfast. ‘It’s the arrangement,’ he said, following out his own thought, ‘and you can’t get away from it. Separate rooms with the joint use of the bathroom and meals to be shared, with the right of either party to invite guests.’ He finished his tea. ‘It doesn’t answer,’ he said. ‘I never thought it would. We’ve been under our own steam too long for sharing. We’re getting fussed. Looking forward to a nice day, with a letter of condolence to be written – Lady Bantling’s brother, for your information, Mrs M., with whom she has not been on speaking terms these ten years or more. And a young lady coming in to help with the book, and now this has to happen. Pity.’

She went to the door and opened it slightly. ‘Mr C.,’ she said with a jerk of her head. ‘Coming down.’

‘His breakfast’s in the dining-room,’ said Alfred.

A light tattoo sounded on the door. It opened and Mr Cartell’s face appeared: thin, anxious and tightly smiling. The dog, Pixie, was at his heels. Alfred and Mrs Mitchell stood up.

‘Oh – ah – good morning, Mrs Mitchell. ’Morning, Alfred. Just to say that my sister telephoned to ask if we can manage two more. I hope it won’t be too difficult, Mrs Mitchell, at such short notice.’

‘I dare say we’ll manage quite nicely, sir.’

‘Shall we? Oh, excellent. Ah – I’ll let Mr Period know. Good,’ said Mr Cartell. He withdrew his head, shut the door and retired, whistling uncertainly, to the dining-room.

For the second time in half an hour Alfred repeated his leitmotiv. ‘It won’t answer,’ he said. ‘And I never thought it would.’

II

‘Sawn-lee,’ a hollow voice on the loudspeaker announced. ‘Sawn-lee. The four carriages in the front portion of the train now arrived at number one platform will proceed to Rimble, Bornlee Green and Little Codling. The rear portion will proceed to Forthampstead and Ribblethorpe. Please make sure you are in the correct part of the train. Sawn-lee. The four carriages –’

Nicola Maitland-Mayne heard this pronouncement with dismay. ‘But I don’t know,’ she cried to her fellow passengers, ‘which portion I’m in! Is this one of the first four carriages?’

‘It’s the fifth,’ said the man in the corner. ‘Next stop Forthampstead.’

‘Oh, damn!’ Nicola said cheerfully and hauled her typewriter and overcoat down from the rack. Someone opened the door for her. She plunged out, staggered along the platform and climbed into another carriage as the voice was saying: ‘All seats, please, for Rimble, Bornlee Green and Little Codling.’

The first compartment was full and so was the second. She moved along the corridor, looked in at the third, and gave it up. A tall man, farther along the corridor said: ‘There’s plenty of room up at the end.’

‘I’m second class.’

‘I should risk it if I were you. You can always pay up if the guard comes along but he never does on this stretch, I promise you.’

‘Oh, well,’ Nicola said, ‘I believe I will. Thank you.’

He opened the door of the first-class compartment. She went in and found nobody there. A bowler, an umbrella, and a Times, belonging, she supposed, to the young man himself, lay on one seat. She sat on the other. He shut the door and remained in the corridor with his back to her, smoking.

Nicola looked out of the window for a minute or two. Presently she remembered her unfinished crossword and took her own copy of The Times out of her overcoat pocket.

Eight across. ‘Vehicle to be sick on or just get a ringing in the ears? (8).’

The train had roared through a cutting and was slowing down for Cabstock when she ejaculated: ‘Oh, good lord! Carillon, of course, how stupid!’ She looked up to find the young man smiling at her from the opposite seat.

‘I stuck over that one, too,’ he said.

‘How far did you get?’

‘All but five. Maddening.’

‘So did I,’ Nicola said.

‘I wonder if they’re the same ones. Shall I look?’

He picked up his paper. She noticed that under the nail of the first finger of his right hand there was a smear of scarlet.

Between them they continued the crossword. It is a matter of conjecture how many complete strangers have been brought into communication by this means. Rimble and Bornlee Green were passed before they filled in the last word.

‘I should say,’ the young man remarked as he folded up his Times, ‘that we’re in much the same class.’

‘That may be true of crosswords, but it certainly isn’t of railway carriages,’ Nicola rejoined. ‘Heavens, where are we?’

‘Coming in to Codling. My station, what a bore!’

‘It’s mine, too,’ Nicola exclaimed, standing up.

‘No! Is it really? Jolly good,’ said the young man. ‘I’ll be able to bluff you past the gate. Here we go. Are you putting your coat on? Give me that thing: what is it, a typewriter? Sorry about my unsuitable bowler, but I’m going to a cocktail party this evening. Where’s me brolly? Come on.’

They were the only passengers to leave the train at Little Codling. The sun was shining and the smell of a country lane mingled with the disinfectant, cardboard and paste atmosphere of the station. Nicola was only mildly surprised to see her companion produce a second-class ticket.

‘Joy-riding as usual, I suppose, Mr Bantling,’ said the man at the gates.

Nicola gave up her ticket and they passed into the lane. Birds were fussing in the hedgerows and the air ran freshly. A dilapidated car waited outside with a mild-looking driver standing beside it.

‘Hallo,’ the young man said. ‘There’s the Bloodbath. It must be for you.’

‘Do you think so? And why “Bloodbath”?’

‘Well, they won’t have sent it for me. Good morning, Mr Copper.’

‘Good morning, sir. Would it be Miss Maitland-Mayne?’ asked the car driver, touching his cap.

Nicola said it would and he opened the door. ‘You’ll take a lift, too, sir, I dare say. Mr Cartell asked me to look out for you.’

‘What!’ the young man exclaimed, staring at Nicola. ‘Are you, too, bound for Ye Olde Bachelor’s Lay-by?’

‘I’m going to Mr Pyke Period’s house. Could there be some mistake?’

‘Not a bit of it. In we get.’

‘Well, if you say so,’ Nicola said and they got into the back of the car. It was started up with a good deal of commotion and they set off down the lane. ‘What did you mean by “Bloodbath”?’ Nicola repeated.

‘You’ll see. I’m going,’ the young man shouted, ‘to visit my step-father who is called Mr Harold Cartell. He shares Mr Pyke Period’s house.’

‘I’m going to type for Mr Pyke Period.’

‘You cast a ray of hope over an otherwise unpropitious venture. Hold very nice and tight, please,’ said the young man, imitating a bus conductor. They swung out of the lane, brought up short under the bonnet of a gigantic truck loaded with a crane and drain-pipes, and lost their engine. The truck driver blasted his horn. His mate leaned out of the cab.

‘You got the death-wish, Jack?’ he asked the driver.

The driver looked straight ahead of him and restarted his engine. Nicola saw that they had turned into the main street of a village and were headed for the green.

‘Trembling in every limb, are you?’ the young man asked her. ‘Never mind; now you see what I meant by “Bloodbath”.’ He leant towards her. ‘There is another rather grand taxi in the village,’ he confided, ‘but Pyke Period likes to stick to Mr Copper, because he’s come down in the world.’ He raised his voice. ‘That was a damn’ close-run thing, Mr Copper,’ he shouted.

‘Think they own the place, those chaps,’ the driver rejoined. ‘Putting the sewer up the side lane by Mr Period’s house, and what for? Nobody wants it.’

He turned left at the green, pulled in at a short drive and stopped in front of a smallish Georgian house.

‘Here we are,’ said the young man.

He got out, extricated Nicola’s typewriter and his own umbrella, and felt in his pocket. Although largish and exceptionally tall, he was expeditious and quick in all his movements.

‘Nothing to pay, Mr Bantling,’ said the driver. ‘Mr Period gave the order.’

‘Oh, well. One for the road anyway.’

‘Very kind of you, but no need, I’m sure. All right, Miss Maitland-Mayne?’

‘Quite, thank you,’ said Nicola, who had alighted. The car lurched off uproariously. Looking to her right, Nicola could see the crane and the top of its truck over a quickset hedge. She heard the sound of male voices.

The front door had opened and a small dark man in an alpaca coat appeared.

‘Good morning, Alfred,’ her companion said. ‘As you see, I’ve brought Miss Maitland-Mayne with me.’

‘The gentlemen,’ Alfred said, ‘are expecting you both, sir.’

Pixie shot out of the house in a paroxysm of barking.

‘Quiet,’ said Alfred, menacing her.

She whined, crouched and then precipitated herself upon Nicola. She stood on her hind legs, slavering and grimacing and scraped at Nicola with her forepaws.

‘Here, you!’ said the young man indignantly. ‘Paws off!’

He cuffed Pixie away and she made loud ambiguous noises.

‘I’m sure I’m very sorry, miss,’ said Alfred. ‘It’s said to be only its fun. This way, if you please, miss.’

Nicola found herself in a modest but elegantly proportioned hall. It looked like an advertisement from a glossy magazine. ‘Small Georgian residence of character’ and, apart from being Georgian, had no other character to speak of.

Alfred opened a door on the right. ‘In the library, if you please, miss,’ he said. ‘Mr Period will be down immediately.’

Nicola walked in. The young man followed and put her typewriter on a table by a window.

‘I can’t help wondering,’ he said, ‘what you’re going to do for P.P. After all, he’d never type his letters of condolence, would he?’

‘What can you mean?’

‘You’ll see. Well, I suppose I’d better launch myself on my ill-fated mission. You might wish me luck.’

Something in his voice caught her attention. She looked up at him. His mouth was screwed dubiously sideways. ‘It never does,’ he said, ‘to set one’s heart on something, does it? Furiously, I mean.’

‘Good heavens, what a thing to say! Of course, one must. Continuously. Expectation,’ said Nicola grandly, ‘is the springboard of achievement.’

‘Rather a phoney slogan, I’m afraid.’

‘I thought it neat.’

‘I should like to confide in you. What a pity we won’t meet over your nice curry. I’m lunching with my mamma who lives in the offing with her third husband.’

‘How do you know it’s going to be curry?’

‘It often is.’

‘Well,’ Nicola said, ‘I wish you luck.’

‘Thank you very much.’ He smiled at her. ‘Good typing!’

‘Good hunting! If you are hunting.’

He laid his finger against his nose, pulled a mysterious grimace and left her.

Nicola opened up her typewriter and a box of quarto paper and surveyed the library.

It looked out on the drive and the rose garden and it was like the hall in that it had distinction without personality. Over the fireplace hung a dismal little water-colour. Elsewhere on the walls were sporting prints, a painting of a bewhiskered ensign in the Brigade of Guards, pointing his sword at some lightning, and a faded photograph of several Edwardian minor royalties grouped in baleful conviviality about a picnic luncheon. In the darkest corner was a framed genealogical tree, sprouting labels, arms and mantling. There were bookcases with uniform editions, novels, and a copy of Handley Cross. Standing apart from the others, a corps d’élite, were Debrett, Burke, Kelly’s and Who’s Who. The desk itself was rich with photographs, framed in silver. Each bore witness to the conservative technique of the studio and the well-bred restraint of the sitter.

Through the side window, Nicola looked across Mr Period’s rose garden, to a quickset hedge and an iron gate leading into a lane. Beyond this gate was a trench with planks laid across it, a heap of earth and her old friend the truck, from which, with the aid of the crane, the workmen were unloading drain-pipes.

Distantly and overhead, she heard male voices. Her acquaintance of the train (what had the driver called him?) and his step-father, Nicola supposed.

She was thinking of him with amusement when the door opened and Mr Pyke Period came in.