‘Oh, so you must know all her secrets,’ she says. ‘Tell me all about her. And tell me about Robert Dudley. Was she really so desperately in love with him as they all said?’
I hesitate at that. But she leans forward to engage me. ‘Is he still so very handsome?’ she whispers. ‘She offered him to me, you know, in marriage, when I first came to Scotland. But I knew she would never part with him. She is lucky to have such a loyal lover. It is a rare man who can love a queen. He has devoted his life to her, has he not?’
‘Forever,’ I say. ‘From the moment she came to the throne and formed her court. He came to her then and he has never left. They have been hand in glove for so long that they finish each other’s sentences, and they have a hundred secret jokes, and sometimes you see her just glance towards him, and he knows exactly what she is thinking.’
‘Then why does she not marry him, since he is free?’ she asks. ‘She made him an earl so that she could propose him for me. If he was good enough for me he must be more than good enough to marry her.’
I shrug. ‘The scandal …’ I say very quietly. ‘After his wife’s death. The scandal has never gone away.’
‘Can she not defy the scandal? A queen of courage can live down a scandal.’
‘Not in England,’ I say, thinking: and probably not in Scotland either. ‘A queen’s reputation is her crown, if she loses one she loses the other. And Cecil is against him,’ I add.
She widens her eyes. ‘Cecil commands her in even this?’
‘He does not rule her,’ I say carefully. ‘But I have never known her go against his advice.’
‘She trusts him with everything?’
I nod. ‘He was her steward when she was a princess with few prospects. He managed her small fortune and he saw her through the years when she was under suspicion of treason by her half-sister Queen Mary. He kept her safe. He guided her away from the rebels whose plans would have destroyed her. He has always stood by her; she trusts him as a father.’
‘You like him,’ she guesses from the warmth in my voice.
‘He has been a true friend to me also,’ I say. ‘I have known him since I was a young woman living with the Grey family.’
‘Yet I hear he is ambitious for his own family? Building a great house, seeking alliances? Matching himself with the nobility?’
‘Why not?’ I ask. ‘Does not God Himself command us to use our talents? Does not our own success show that God has blessed us?’
She smiles and shakes her head. ‘My God sends trials to those He loves, not wealth; but I see that your God thinks like a merchant. But of Cecil – does the queen always do as he commands?’
‘She does as he advises,’ I temper. ‘Most of the time. Sometimes she hesitates so long that she can drive him quite wild with impatience, but generally his advice is so good and their strategy is so long-planned that they must agree.’
‘So he is the one who makes her policy? He decides?’ she presses.
I shake my head. ‘Who knows? They meet in private.’
‘This is a matter of some importance to me,’ she reminds me. ‘For I think he is no friend of mine. And he was an inveterate enemy to my mother.’
‘She usually follows his advice,’ I repeat. ‘But she insists that she is queen in her own country.’
‘How can she?’ she asks simply. ‘I don’t know how she dares to try to rule without a husband. A man must know best. He is in the very shape of God, he has a superior intelligence. All else aside, he will be better educated, he must be better taught than any woman. His spirits will be more courageous, his determination more constant. How can she dream of ruling without a husband at her side?’
I shrug. I cannot justify Elizabeth’s independence. Anyway, everyone in the country would agree with her. It is God’s will that women are subject to men, and Elizabeth herself never argues against it. She just does not apply it to herself. ‘She calls herself a prince,’ I say. ‘As if being royal exceeds being a woman. She is divinely blessed, she is commanded by God to rule. Cecil acknowledges her primacy. Whether she likes it or not, she is set above everyone – even men – by God Himself. What else can she do?’
‘She could rule under a man’s instruction,’ she says simply. ‘She should have found a prince or a king or even a nobleman who could be trusted with the good of the country and married him, and made him King of England.’
‘There was no-one …’ I begin defensively.
She makes a little gesture with her hand. ‘There were dozens,’ she says. ‘There still are. She has just got rid of the Hapsburg courtier, has she not? In France we heard all about them. We even sent our own candidates. Everyone believed that she would find a man that she could trust with the throne and then England would be safe. He would rule and make treaties with other brother kings. Treaties that could be based on the word of an honourable man, not on the changeable views of a woman; and then she could have conceived sons to come after him. What could be more natural and right? Why would any woman not do that?’
I hesitate, I cannot disagree. It is what we all thought would happen. It is what Queen Mary Tudor, Elizabeth’s half-sister, tried to do, obedient to her wisest advisors. It is what this Scots queen did. It is what parliament went down on their knees to beg Elizabeth to do. It is what everyone hopes will happen even now, praying that it is not too late for Elizabeth to have a baby boy. How should a woman rule on her own? How did Elizabeth dare such a thing? And if she does, if she continues on this unnatural course: how shall she secure her succession? Very soon it will be too late. She will be too old to have a child. And however great the achievement of a reign, what is the use of a barren throne? What use is a legacy if there is no-one to inherit? What will become of us if she leaves the kingdom in turmoil? What becomes of us Protestant subjects under a Papist heir? What of the value of my property then?
‘You are a much-married woman, are you not?’ The queen peeps at me.
I laugh. ‘The earl is my fourth husband, God bless and keep him,’ I say. ‘I have been so unlucky to be widowed three times. Three good men I have loved and lost, and mourned each one.’
‘So you, of all people, cannot believe that a woman is best left alone, living alone, with only her fortune, and neither husband nor children nor home?’
In truth, I cannot. I do not. ‘For me, there was no choice. I had no fortune. I had to marry for the good of my family and for my own future. My first husband died when we were both children and left me with a small dowry. My second husband was good to me and taught me how to run a household and left me his estate. My third husband even more so. He left me his houses and all his lands entirely to me, in my own name, so that I could be a fit wife to the earl, Shrewsbury, who has given me my title, and greater wealth than I could ever have dreamed of when I was nothing more than the daughter of a poor widow at Hardwick.’
‘And children?’ she prompts me.
‘I have borne eight,’ I say proudly. ‘And God has been good to me and I have six still living. My oldest daughter, Frances, has a babe in arms, they called her Bessie for me. I am a grandmother as well as a mother. And I expect to have more grandchildren.’
She nods. ‘Then you must think as I do, that a woman who makes herself a barren spinster is flying in the face of God and her own nature, and cannot prosper.’
I do think this; but I am damned if I would say it to her. ‘I think the Queen of England must do as she prefers,’ I declare boldly. ‘And not all husbands are good husbands.’
I am speaking at random, but I score such a hit at her that she falls silent and then to my horror I see that she has looked away from her sewing and there are tears in her eyes.
‘I did not mean to offend you,’ she says quietly. ‘I know full well that not all husbands are good husbands. Of all the women in the world I would know that.’
‘Your Grace, forgive me!’ I cry out, horrified by her tears. ‘I did not mean to distress you! I was not thinking of you! I did not mean to refer to you or your husbands. I know nothing of your circumstances.’
‘You must be unique then, for every ale house in England and Scotland seems to know everything about my circumstances,’ she snaps, brushing the back of her hand across her eyes. Her lashes are wet. ‘You will have heard terrible things about me,’ she says steadily. ‘You will have heard that I was an adulteress against my husband with the Earl of Bothwell, that I urged him to murder my poor husband, Lord Darnley. But these are lies. I am utterly innocent, I beg you to believe me. You can watch me and observe me. Ask yourself if you think I am a woman that would dishonour herself for lust?’ She turns her tear-stained beautiful face to me. ‘Do I look like such a monster? Am I such a fool as to throw honour, reputation and my throne away for the pleasure of a moment? For a sin?’
‘Your life has been much troubled,’ I say weakly.
‘I was married as a child to the Prince of France,’ she tells me. ‘It was the only way to keep me safe from the ambitions of King Henry of England, he would have kidnapped me, and enslaved my country. I was brought up as a French princess, you cannot imagine anything more beautiful than the French court – the houses and the gowns and the wealth that was all around me. It was like a fairytale. When my husband died it all ended for me in a moment, and then they came to me with the news that my mother had died too; and I knew then that I would have to go home to Scotland and claim my throne. No folly in that, I think. No-one can reproach me for that.’
I shake my head. My women are frozen with curiosity, all their needles suspended and their mouths open to hear this history.
‘Scotland is not a country that can be ruled by a woman alone,’ she says, her voice low but emphatic. ‘Anyone who knows it knows that to be true. It is riven with faction and rivalry and petty alliances that last for the length of a murder and then end. It is barely a kingdom, it is a scatter of tribes. I was under threat of kidnap or abduction from the first moment that I landed. One of the worst of the noblemen thought to kidnap me and marry me to his son. He would have shamed me into marriage. I had to arrest him and execute him to prove my honour. Nothing less would satisfy the court. I had to watch his beheading to prove my innocence. They are like wild men, they respect only power. Scotland has to have a merciless king, in command of an army, to hold it together.’
‘You cannot have thought that Darnley …’
She chokes on an irresistible giggle. ‘No! Not now! I should have known at once. But he had a claim to the English throne, he swore that Elizabeth would support him if we ever needed help. Our children would be undeniable heirs of England from both his side and mine; they would unify England and Scotland. And once I was married I would be safe from attack. I could not see otherwise how to protect my own honour. He had supporters at my court when he first arrived, though later, they turned against him and hated him. My own half-brother urged the marriage on me. And yes – I was foolishly mistaken in him. He was handsome and young and everyone liked him. He was charming and pretty-mannered. He treated me with such courtesy that for a moment it was like being back in France. I thought he would make a good king. I judged, like a girl, on appearances. He was such a fine-looking young man, he was a prince in his bearing. There was no-one else I would have considered. He was practically the only man I met who washed!’ She laughs and I laugh too. The women breathe an awed giggle.
‘I knew him. He was a charming young man when he wanted to be.’
She shrugs her shoulders, a gesture completely French. ‘Well, you know. You know how it is. You know from your own life. I fell in love with him, un coup de foudre, I was mad for him.’
Silently, I shake my head. I have been married four times and never yet been in love. For me, marriage has always been a carefully considered business contract, and I don’t know what coup de foudre even means, and I don’t like the sound of it.
‘Well, voilà, I married Darnley, partly to spite your Queen Elizabeth, partly for policy, partly for love, in haste, and regretted it soon enough. He was a drunkard and a sodomite. A wreck of a boy. He took it into his stupid head that I had a lover and he lighted upon the only good advisor I had at my court, the only man I could count on. David Rizzio was my secretary and advisor, my Cecil if you like. A steady good man that I could trust. Darnley let his bullies into my private rooms and they killed him before my very eyes, in my chamber, poor David …’ She breaks off. ‘I could not stop them, God knows I tried. The men came for him and poor David ran to me. He hid behind me; but they dragged him out. They would have killed me too, one of them held a pistol against my belly, my unborn son quickening as I screamed. Andrew Kerr his name was – I don’t forget it, I don’t forgive him – he put the barrel of his pistol to my belly and my little son’s foot pressed back. I thought he would shoot me and my unborn child inside me. I thought he would kill us both. I knew then that the Scots are beyond ruling, they are madmen.’
She holds her hands over her eyes as if to block out the sight of it even now. I nod in silence. I don’t tell her that we knew of the plot in England. We could have protected her; but we chose not to do so. We could have warned her, but we did not. Cecil decided that we should not warn her, but leave her, isolated and in danger. We heard the news that her own court had turned on her, her own husband had become corrupt, and it amused us: thinking of her alone with those barbarians. We thought she would be forced to turn to England for help.
‘The lords of my court killed my own secretary in front of me, as I stood there trying to shield him. Before me – a Princess of France.’ She shakes her head. ‘After that it could only get worse. They had learned their power. They held me captive, they said they would cut me in pieces and throw my body in bits from the terrace of Stirling Castle.’
My women are aghast. One of them gives a little sigh of horror and thinks about fainting. I scowl at her.
‘But you escaped?’
At once she smiles a mischievous grin, like a clever boy. ‘Such an adventure! I turned Darnley back to my side and I had them lower us out of the window. We rode for five hours through the night, though I was six months pregnant, and at the end of the road, in the darkness, Bothwell and his men were waiting for us and we were safe.’
‘Bothwell?’
‘He was the only man in Scotland I could trust,’ she says quietly. ‘I learned later he was the only man in Scotland who had never taken a bribe from a foreign power. He is a Scot and loyal to my mother and to me. He was always on my side. He raised an army for me and we returned to Edinburgh and banished the murderers.’
‘And your husband?’
She shrugs. ‘You must know the rest. I could not part from my husband while I was carrying his child. I gave birth to my son and Bothwell guarded him and me. My husband Darnley was murdered by his former friends. They planned to kill me too but it happened I was not in the house that night. It was nothing more than luck.’
‘Terrible, terrible,’ one of my women whispers. They will be converting to Papacy next out of sheer fellow feeling.
‘Yes indeed,’ I say sharply to her. ‘Go and fetch a lute and play for us.’ So that gets her out of earshot.
‘I had lost my secretary and my husband, and my principal advisors were his murderers,’ she said. ‘I could get no help from my family in France, and the country was in uproar. Bothwell stood by me, and he had his army to keep us safe. Then he declared us married.’
‘Were you not married?’ I whisper.
‘No,’ she says shortly. ‘Not by my church. Not in my faith. His wife still lives, and now another one, another wife, has thrown him into prison in Denmark for breach of promise. She claims they were married years ago. Who knows with Bothwell? Not I.’
‘Did you love him?’ I ask, thinking that this is a woman who was once a fool for love.
‘We never speak of love,’ she says flatly. ‘Never. We are not some romantic couple writing poetry and exchanging tokens. We never speak of love. I have never said one word of love to him nor he to me.’
There is a silence, and I realise she has not exactly answered me.
‘And then?’ one of my entranced half-wit women whispers.
‘Then my half-brother and his treacherous allies called up their army to attack Bothwell and me with him; and Bothwell and I rode out to battle together, side by side, as comrades. But they won – it is as simple as that. Our army drained away as we delayed. Bothwell would have fought at once and we might have won then; but I hoped to avoid bloodshed of kin against kin. I let them delay us with talks and false promises and my army slipped away. We made an agreement and Bothwell got away. They promised me safe conduct but they lied. They held me as a prisoner, and I miscarried my twins, two boys. They made me abdicate while I was ill and broken with grief. My own half-brother claimed my throne, the traitor. He sold my pearls, and they have my son … my boy …’ Her voice, which has been low and steady, wavers now for the first time.
‘You will see him again, for sure,’ I say.
‘He is mine,’ she whispers. ‘My own son. He should be raised as a Prince of Scotland and England. Not by these heretical fools, not by the murderers of his own father, men who believe neither in God nor king.’
‘My husband says that you will be restored to your throne this very summer, any day now,’ I say. I do not add that I think him mistaken.
She lifts her head. ‘I shall need an army to get back my throne,’ she says. ‘It is not a question of simply riding back to Edinburgh. I shall need a husband to dominate the Scots lords and an army to hold them down. Tell Elizabeth when you write to her that she must honour her kinship to me. She must restore me. I shall be Queen of Scotland again.’
‘Her Majesty doesn’t take advice from me,’ I say. ‘But I know she is planning for your restoration.’ Even if Cecil is not, I think.
‘I have made mistakes,’ she concedes. ‘I have not judged very well for myself, after all. But perhaps still I may be forgiven. And at least I do have a son.’
‘You will be forgiven,’ I say earnestly. ‘If you have done anything wrong, which I am sure … and anyway, as you say, you do have a son, and a woman with a son is a woman with a future.’
She blinks back the tears and nods. ‘He will be King of England,’ she breathes. ‘King of England and Scotland.’
I am silent for a moment. It is treason to speak of the queen’s death, it is treason to speculate about her heir. I shoot a hard look at my women who are all, wisely, eyes down on their sewing now and pretending they cannot hear.
Her mood shifts, as quickly as a child’s. ‘Ah, here I am becoming as morbid as a Highlander!’ she cries out. ‘Lady Seton, ask a page to come and sing for us and let’s have some dancing. Lady Shrewsbury here will think herself in prison or in mourning!’
I laugh, as if we were not in truth in prison and bereft, and I send for wine and for fruit, and for the musicians. When my lord comes in before dinner he finds us in a whirl of dancing and the Scots queen in the middle, calling the changes and laughing aloud as we get all muddled up and end opposite the wrong partners.
‘You must go right! Right!’ she calls out. ‘Gauche et puis à gauche!’ She whirls around to laugh at him. ‘My lord, command your wife! She is making a mockery of me as a dancing tutor.’
‘It is you!’ he says, his face reflecting her joy. ‘No! No! Truly it is you. You shall not accuse the countess, indeed you shall not. Gauche means left in English, Your Grace! Not right. You have been commanding them the wrong way round.’
She screams with laughter and falls into my arms and kisses me the French way, on both cheeks.‘Ah, pardon, Lady Bess! Your husband is right! I have been teaching you all wrong. I am a fool not to speak your difficult language. You have a most poor master of dance. But tomorrow I shall write to my family in Paris and they shall send me a dancing teacher and some violinists, and he will teach us all and we shall dance beautifully!’