Loe raamatut: «Her Hero in Hiding»

To all the heroes in hiding from pasts they struggle to make peace with.

Chapter 1

Snow flurries began to blow before Clint Ardmore left Conard City with his truckload of supplies. By the time he reached the county road leading to his ranch, it became apparent that winter was arriving. Big flakes whipped about in the wind, threatening a whiteout later when the temperatures dropped enough to make the snow nearly as fine as sand. As it was, the flakes reflected his low beams sufficiently to make the already dark afternoon seem darker.

Winter pleased him. He liked the cold, the snow, the isolation it brought to his ranch. Not even the most determined salesman or missionary would try to make it up the road to his house, and the neighbors to whom he leased his land for their own stock were undoubtedly pulling the last of them in. Soon his ranch would become exactly what he wanted it to be—a hermitage he left only out of necessity.

At least that was his cheerful expectation until he caught sight of a gray figure staggering alongside the road.

Hell, no one ought to be out here on foot. Cussing under his breath, he jammed on his brakes and pulled over. The snow was only just beginning to stick, so he didn’t skid. Some drunk, no doubt, lost in the middle of nowhere. But whatever this person was doing out here, there was no way he could be left to wander alone in this weather. From here to the nearest ranch—his—it was another ten miles.

Clint climbed out and slammed the truck door. The wind had taken on a nasty bite, presaging a deadly night for unprotected humans.

Still cussing—he possessed quite an amazing vocabulary of cuss words in several languages—he stomped back toward the staggering figure in gray. The snow continued to swirl, thick enough to be almost foglike. He really needed this, he thought. Now he would have to drive back to town in this damn storm to make sure this idiot didn’t freeze to death out here.

It wasn’t until he was only a few steps away that he realized the idiot was a woman and, worse, a woman dressed only in a gray sweatshirt and pants. And when she lifted her head at his approach, he saw a shiner that would have looked appropriate on a boxer, not on a tiny woman with straggly blond hair and blue eyes the size of saucers.

At least they became saucer-size when they saw him.

Well, he could kind of understand that. He was a large man, well over six feet, and years in Special Ops had given him a need to stay in shape that wouldn’t quit even though he’d left the military well behind him. Then there was his face. The faces on Mt. Rushmore looked less stony.

Too bad.

“Hey, lady!” he called. “You’re going to freeze!”

She staggered another step, then turned and started to run. Only she couldn’t quite run, because her feet didn’t seem to be cooperating, and moments later she tumbled facedown on the shoulder.

At once he raced to her side and squatted. “Lady …”

“Go away!” she cried. “Get away from me!”

“I won’t hurt you,” he said, making his voice as gentle as when he talked to his horses. Not exactly second nature, but he knew how.

“No! No! Get away from me.”

Another time, another place, he might have been happy to oblige. But not out here. Not even on a sunny day. Not when she had a black eye like that, which might mean a bad concussion.

“Easy,” he said quietly. “Easy. I won’t hurt you, I swear. But you’ll freeze out here.”

Then he reached out to help her up and realized he might as well have tried to lift an angry mountain lion. She started fighting the instant she felt his hands, kicking and swinging and trying to scratch him.

Experience came to his aid. Keeping his hold as gentle as he could, keeping her back to his chest to minimize the damage to himself, he lifted her. “Shh,” he said soothingly near her ear. “Shh. I’m just going to take you to a doctor.”

“No! No!” She wriggled wildly. “He’ll find me! He’ll find me!” There was no mistaking the terror and desperation in her voice.

“All right, then,” he agreed gently, all the while wondering why he was making such an insane promise. “All right. But how about you come home with me and get warm? You’ll freeze out here.”

“I don’t care! He’ll find me!”

“Nobody’s going to find you at my place, I swear. I promise you’ll be safe….”

He kept murmuring soothingly, taking care to keep his grip without hurting her. She fought a little longer, but she didn’t have a whole lot of strength left, and soon enough she began to sag.

He shifted her a bit, so his hold was more comfortable, then swung her up and began carrying her toward his truck. A car drove by, slowing down, but he barely glanced at it before it sped up. He didn’t recognize it, so it didn’t belong to the only other rancher on this road before it dead-ended. He felt a fleeting suspicion, but dismissed it. If someone were following her in a car, he would certainly have caught her long since. Probably someone visiting. Not that he cared.

“No doctor,” she said again, but her blue eyes had begun to look hazy.

“No doctor,” he agreed. “Just a warm fire and some food.”

Then she said something that tore at his heart. Her huge blue eyes focused on his face, and she said, “You’re not him.”

Then she passed out.

Kay Young returned to woozy consciousness to find she was lying on a soft sofa beneath a heap of quilts near a cheerfully burning fire. Dimly she realized it felt odd to be warm, because she had been cold for so long, so very long. But she no longer felt frozen to the bone.

When she tried to move, however, everything hurt, from her head to her feet, and she groaned. The pounding in her head alone nauseated her, and the world around her spun.

At once she heard a sound; then a stranger with a hard, harsh face was squatting beside her. “Shh,” he said softly. “You’re safe here. I promise. Shh. You might have a concussion.”

“I have to go,” she said weakly, struggling against pain, a swimming world and the quilts. “He’ll find me. I can’t let him find me.” Run! The word shrieked in her brain, burned into every cell. Escape! Flee!

“Easy, lady,” he said quietly. “Easy. You’re hurt. No one’s going to find you here. No one.”

“He will,” she said desperately, terror clutching at her insides with bony, knifing fingers. “He always finds me.”

“Easy,” he said again. “There’s a blizzard outside. No one’s getting here tonight, not even the doctor. I know because I tried.”

“Doctor? I don’t need a doctor! I’ve got to get away.”

“There’s nowhere to go tonight,” he said levelly. “Nowhere. And if I thought you could stand, I’d take you to a window and show you.”

But even as she tried once more to push away the quilts, she remembered something else—this man had been gentle when he’d found her beside the road, even when she had kicked and clawed. He hadn’t hurt her. Not like her ex-boyfriend.

Terror receded just a bit. She looked at him, really looked at him, and though his face might have been granite, she detected signs of true concern there. True kindness.

The terror eased another notch, and she let her head sag on the pillow. “He always finds me,” she whispered.

“Not here. Not tonight. That much I can guarantee.”

And she believed him. Oh, God, she believed him. “Thank you,” she murmured finally.

“I heated up some broth. Let’s see if you can hold a little bit of it down. Do you feel sick to your stomach?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe a couple of crackers first, then. After that we can try broth. I’ll be right back.”

She watched him straighten, amazed at his sheer size. Everything about him looked as if it might have been carved out of the nearby mountains. As he walked away from her, other things began to penetrate. She was in a warm room, a cozy room, with walls that looked like a log cabin. The furnishings were sparse but colorful, and they looked comfortable. The fire blazed merrily in a stone fireplace.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, about this place seemed in any way related to her tormentor or her experience since … since when? She didn’t even know how long she had been in hell, how long ago she had begun to fear men. All men. Everything in her head was a jumble.

Oh God. She allowed her eyes to close, let her aching body relax at last. Oh God. Maybe she had truly escaped.

Maybe.

“Crackers?”

Her savior had returned with a small plate holding a dozen soda crackers. Only then did she realize, nauseated or not, that she was famished. Moving gingerly, she pushed herself up against the arm of the couch. He didn’t try to touch her, not even to help. That seemed like a good sign.

She held the plate on her lap and nibbled at a cracker.

“I’m Clint Ardmore,” he said.

“Kay Young,” she answered, surprised at how weak she sounded. “May I have some water?”

“I can’t believe I forgot that.” He hopped up immediately from the roughly hewn coffee table on which he’d been sitting. “Would you prefer something carbonated? Maybe ginger ale or club soda?”

“Ginger ale, please.”

He vanished once again, returning a minute later with a tall glass of soda. “I didn’t put ice in it,” he said. “I figured you need to warm up, and this is already chilled from the fridge.”

“That’s great. Thanks.” She sipped it with relief, feeling it wet her mouth and burn a little. Her stomach liked it, and soon she was eating another cracker.

“Is it settling?”

“Very well.” More ginger ale, another cracker. Somehow he no longer seemed frightening. But how could she be frightened of a man who was practically hovering in concern, a man who had given her his name without asking hers?

“You have one hell of a shiner,” he said.

She looked at him. Again that granite face reflected genuine concern.

“He hit me,” she said simply. Hard. Multiple times. But she didn’t add all that.

“I could have guessed that,” he said. “I should call the sheriff.”

“No!” Panic erupted again, and he grabbed the soda from her hand right before she spilled it. “No! He’ll kill me if he finds me!”

“Easy. Easy. Okay. No sheriff for now. Nothing tonight. Nobody can move in this storm anyway. You just rest. We can talk about everything tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she dared to believe there would be one. “I’m sorry,” she said finally, staring at the crackers that still rested in her lap.

“No need. I can tell you’ve been through hell. Just take it easy. You’re safe now.”

And she believed him. For now, anyway. She looked at him gratefully as her panic subsided, then resumed eating.

“I’m still dizzy,” she remarked. “On and off.”

“That sounds like a concussion. You might be dizzy for a while.”

It was then she noticed that her sweatshirt had turned dark green. Another shiver of panic. “What happened to my clothes?” Her gaze darted to his face, and for a moment the world turned into a carousel before settling again.

He frowned. “You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Your clothes were wet from the snow. I helped you change into one of my sweat suits. You said it was okay.”

Something far from pleasant started dancing along nerves that were already on the edge of shrieking from pain and terror. “I don’t remember.”

He swore. “Well, that settles it. You’re seeing a doctor tomorrow. If you won’t go to him, I’ll get him to come to you. This sounds like a really bad concussion.”

“He might find me,” she said again, plunging back into the nightmare. “He said he was going to kill me!”

“No one will find you. I’ll figure out something.”

“Oh God, oh God.” And then she started to cry.

A fine freaking kettle of fish, Clint thought as he banged around in his kitchen, slamming pots a little harder than necessary as he tried to decide what the hell he was going to cook for himself, because he hadn’t eaten all day. A terrified, injured woman in his living room, crying her eyes out, looking for all the world as if she’d been beaten and maybe tortured, who couldn’t even remember letting him help her into dry clothes, who wouldn’t let him take her to a doctor, not that he could anyway in the midst of this blizzard….

And all he wanted was his peace and solitude. He had a book to write, a deadline to meet, and he’d had enough of the real world to last him a lifetime. Enough so that it had stuck firmly in his craw and simply wouldn’t be dislodged. And now the real world had landed on his doorstep, invaded his solitude and brought all its problems with it.

But what the hell was he supposed to do? A day, he promised himself. Two at most. He would convince her to talk to the sheriff, to see the doctor, and he would send her safely on her way to wherever she was from, where she would have family and friends and others who were far better suited to helping her through this than a crusty hermit like himself.

Finally he gave up all thought of creating some culinary masterpiece, his one indulgence, and settled instead on cocoa and some cinnamon rolls he’d bought earlier. He made enough for two in case she thought she could eat.

What kind of man would treat a woman that way and leave her so terrified? But he knew. He really didn’t need to ask the question, because he’d known men like that. One of the things that lodged in his craw. He’d worked with them. They would get all messed up on the job, then take it home with them and treat their wives and girlfriends, and sometimes even their kids, like enemy combatants. He knew them too well. And he wished he didn’t. So what if they were a minority?

At least he had the sense to realize that his training and experience had made him unfit for society. But God almighty, now he had that waif in the next room depending on him, and all that stuff about honor and duty and protecting the defenseless was rising up like the opening curtain on another nightmare.

Another cuss word escaped him under his breath. He stacked everything on a tray and carried it into the other room.

Kay was lying on the couch, her eyes closed, so still she might have been dead. His heart nearly stopped. He knew the dangers of concussion all too well.

“Kay?”

He set the tray on the coffee table and felt concern clamp his chest in a vise. “Kay?” he repeated.

No answer. Did he dare touch her? If she was unconscious, she would never know, but if she woke with a stranger touching her, he might set off her panic again.

“Kay!” Loudly. A command.

Then, to his infinite relief, her eyes fluttered open. “Kay,” he repeated, more quietly.

Slowly, very slowly, her gaze tracked to his face. “Mmm?” she asked drowsily.

“I brought cinnamon buns and cocoa. Do you want to eat something more?”

“I … yes.” She tried to push herself up a little more, then squeezed her eyes shut. “The world keeps moving.”

“It’ll stop. Just wait a few seconds before you open your eyes again.”

She followed his suggestion, and when she looked at him again, her gaze remained steady.

“Cocoa?” he asked. “Or a bun? Or should I get the chicken broth?”

She hesitated, then said, “Cocoa sounds better.”

Pushing the tray to one side, he sat on the low table and faced her, passing her a mug. She cradled it in both hands, though he couldn’t tell whether she was seeking the warmth or worried it might spin away. Then she sipped, and her expression told him it was okay. He didn’t need to run for a bucket. The cocoa would stay down.

Relieved, he reached for his own mug. “So what happened?” he asked finally.

“My … boyfriend.”

His ire rose. “Your boyfriend did this to you?”

“My ex. Yes.” She sighed and closed her eyes a moment. Her hands trembled, and he almost reached to take the mug from her.

“I can’t remember much,” she offered hesitantly. “It’s all mixed up.”

“That’s okay.” He tried to sound reassuring. “Concussions do that.” And trauma, but he didn’t add that. What was the point? Words wouldn’t change her situation.

“Thank you,” she said finally.

“For what? I haven’t done much.”

The corners of her mouth quivered, a sight that distressed him. Crying women were not his forte.

“For saving me,” she said simply. “Thank you for saving me.”

That was when he knew his troubles were just beginning.

Chapter 2

Wrapped around the mug of cocoa, Kay’s fingers began to warm. At first they burned and tingled painfully, but then they began to feel normal again. She sipped the hot cocoa gratefully and glanced at the man who had retreated to the easy chair on the other side of the coffee table. Somehow that retreat made him seem even safer.

“Where am I?” she asked finally.

“On my ranch,” he replied. “About twenty-five miles outside of Conard City, Wyoming.”

“Wyoming?” The thought shocked her. How had she come to be so far from home? Had she really been trapped for that long? “I live in Texas!”

His face seemed to stiffen a bit, but she wasn’t a hundred percent sure. Reading him was like reading runes—apparently you had to know the language. “That’s a long way,” he said finally. “You want to tell me what happened?”

“I can’t … right now.” Her mind recoiled from the memories, unwilling to remember the nightmare. “I can’t,” she said again, her heart accelerating.

“That’s okay,” he said soothingly. “I don’t need to know. It can wait.”

That was a pretty generous statement coming from a man who had picked her up off the roadside and welcomed her into his home. She felt she had to offer him something. “I ran,” she said finally. “We were at a rest stop and he thought I was unconscious, and when he went inside, I ran. I ran …” Her voice trailed off, and she closed her eyes.

“You ran a helluva distance,” he said. “The nearest rest stop I can think of is about nine miles from where I found you.”

“I run marathons,” she said simply.

A soft oath escaped him. She looked at him then, and there was no mistaking the anger on his face. She wanted to shrink and hide, but there was no place to go, not now.

But moments later his face settled back into impassivity. Of course, he wasn’t mad at her, she thought. Not like him. This was a different man, one who was trying to help her. He had been nothing but kind.

“So you’re from Texas,” he said presently. “I spent some time there, years ago, mostly in Killeen.”

She started. “Really? That’s where I’m from.”

“Small world sometimes.”

“Or very big.” Her words seemed to hang on the air. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d meant, except that maybe now the world seemed more threatening than it had before Kevin. Into her small world, evil had come, a kind of evil she had once thought would never intersect with her life.

“Yeah,” he said presently, “it can be.”

As if he understood. Perhaps he did.

“I … tried to get away from him,” she offered. God, it was so hard to speak of it. “He kept following. I moved three times, and he found me every time, and now …” Her voice broke. She couldn’t continue.

“You’re away from him now.”

“Yes. Now.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “But for how long?”

For a long time there was no sound but the crackling fire and keening wind. Then he asked, “You moved three times? Different towns?”

“Different states.”

He swore. She jerked her head back, feeling the inescapable stab of fear, then relaxed when he didn’t move a muscle.

“That’s bad,” he said quietly.

“You can’t hide anymore,” she said. “Not anymore. Not with the Internet.”

“So it seems. And restraining orders might as well be written on toilet paper.”

“You can’t get one when you move to a new state. The judge asks where your proof is that he’ll follow you. So the last time I didn’t even try.”

He shook his head. “By the time the restraining order is broken, you’re already in too much trouble for it to do you much good.”

“Yeah. I’ve learned that the hard way.” She bit her lip, still clinging to the cocoa mug as if it were a lifeline. “That’s why I don’t want to let anyone know where I am. He’ll find me. He always does.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. She watched his stony face, trying to read something there, but couldn’t. He was a man, and she ought to be frightened because Kevin had indelibly taught her that no matter how nice a guy might seem at first, he could turn into a monster.

But Clint Ardmore didn’t know her yet. She was new to him, so regardless of what kind of man he might be, it was still too early to have to fear him. And she would be gone before it reached that point.

At least that was what she needed to believe.

“Okay,” he said at last. “I won’t even call the sheriff. At least not tonight. We can talk more about it when you’re feeling a bit better.”

She hated that he sounded grudging, but there was no way she could ignore his concession, even if he didn’t want to make it. “Thank you.”

“As to this concussion … I’m no doctor, but there’s one thing I know for sure. I can’t let you sleep too long or too deeply tonight, so you’d better make up your mind that I’m going to be waking you often. And if that means shaking you, I will shake you.”

She didn’t want to be touched. Not by anyone. Fear clogged her throat, even though she understood the sense of what he was saying. “I … only if you have to.”

“Only if I can’t wake you by banging a pot next to your ear.” Then he surprised her by lifting one corner of his mouth in an almost-smile. “Can you live with that?”

“I think so.”

“Don’t worry about attacking me,” he added, the smile deepening enough to seem almost real. “You already tried that and didn’t even put a scratch on me. So if you wake up frightened and strike out, it’s okay.”

That was meant to calm her? Yet in some odd way it did. “I don’t remember attacking you.”

“Most likely not. You were pretty out of it, between the concussion and hypothermia. But yeah, you tried to defend yourself even when you were weaker than a newborn kitten.”

He seemed to like that she’d defended herself, although she couldn’t imagine why. It did, however, make her feel better about herself. Even totally out of it, she’d put up a fight.

“Anyway,” he went on, “the blizzard alone should be enough protection for tonight. But I’ll make sure everything’s locked up tight. Don’t usually have to bother, but.” He left the thought unfinished and shrugged.

“Thank you.” It would make her feel safer. “And thank you for your hospitality.”

Now he looked distinctly uncomfortable. “I wouldn’t have left a stray cat out there tonight. Would have been inhuman.”

Now how did he mean that? She wished she could peer behind the emotionless facade of his face and get an inkling of how this man thought.

No, maybe not. Maybe she didn’t really want to know what went on inside him. Tomorrow she would be gone, as soon as the blizzard let up enough and.

“Oh my God!” The words escaped her before she could stop them.

“What?”

“I just realized. How am I going to get out of here?”

“I’ll take you to a bus or something when the roads clear.”

“No, you don’t understand! He took my purse. I don’t have any ID, no credit card, no money! Oh, God, I’m trapped!”

Just as she started to spiral into fresh panic, he stopped her with one word of command.

“No.”

She gaped at him. “What?”

“I said no. Don’t do it. Don’t wind yourself up. I can help you out with all of that. Trust me, you’ll be on your way again as soon as possible.”

From something in the way he said it, she believed him. He didn’t want her here any more than she wanted to be here.

It was a weird kind of hope, but it was a hope she had to cling to.

Besides, she reminded herself, she’d always found a way to run before. Always. She just needed to wait to gather her strength and lose the mental fog that seemed to be slowing her brain.

She finally ate one of the rolls he offered, and even downed another cup of cocoa. The heat from the fire began to penetrate enough that she threw back the quilt and lay there in the oversized green sweats he had put her into. “My toes are burning.”

He looked at her feet. “I’m not surprised. They were getting close to frostbite. But they look a healthy pink now.”

She hadn’t even considered all the horrible dangers when she had taken her chance to flee the car wearing nothing but her grey sweats and running shoes into a cold Wyoming afternoon. With absolutely no thought of what she should do or where she should turn, she had fled. She hadn’t even risked trying to hide at the rest stop in the hopes that someone else would drive in and she could seek help.

“I guess running like that wasn’t my smartest move.”

“I don’t know, but from what little you’ve told me, it may have been your only move.”

“It seemed like it.” Then she stole another glance at him. “I couldn’t have made it much farther, could I?”

“I don’t know. Willpower can sometimes accomplish near miracles. I’m glad we’ll never have to find out, though.”

At least not this time, she thought miserably. Kevin had grown bigger than life in her mind, more like a nightmare monster than a mere man. “You know what I can’t understand?”

“What’s that?”

“Why he keeps coming after me. Why can’t he just let me go? I go as far away as I can get, and he still comes looking. I just don’t get it!”

He shook his head. “I’m no psychologist. I don’t get why he abused you in the first place.”

“I can understand that better than him tracking me like this. I mean, he has a temper. He blows up. At first I was even able to forgive him. But …” She shook her head. “I don’t get it.”

He suddenly leaned forward, almost like a striking snake, and she shrank back instinctively.

“Don’t ever,” he said, “ever, forgive someone who hits you. Ever.”

She blinked, wondering what the hell was behind that, but then he leaned back and reached for his own mug as if he hadn’t just vented that moment of passion. “Creeps like him,” Clint said quietly, “once they cross that line, they just keep on crossing it like it was never there.”

That much made sense. She nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.” His gray eyes seemed to burn. “You can’t erase the lines and then draw them again. The lines get blurred, and it almost never works. Especially if they get a taste for power or inflicting fear.”

She felt her mouth sag open a little and quickly closed it. They were definitely having a discussion about something that reached far beyond Kevin, but she couldn’t imagine what it was.

He rose quickly, mug in hand. “Want more?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

He headed swiftly for the kitchen, as if he wanted to get away from the whole conversation.

Not that she could blame him. She didn’t exactly like it herself.

She lay there, mug in her hands, staring into the dancing fire, wondering more about her rescuer than she should. He seemed like a troubled man, and that made her uneasy.