Loe raamatut: «Lagom: The Swedish Art of Living a Balanced, Happy Life»
COPYRIGHT
Thorsons
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London SE1 9GF
This edition published by Thorsons 2017
FIRST EDITION
Text © Niki Brantmark 2017
Illustrations © Petra Borner 2017
Cover layout design ©HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2017
Cover illustration © Petra Borner 2017
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Niki Brantmark asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
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Source ISBN 978-0-00-826010-1
Ebook Edition © September 2017 ISBN: 9780008260118
Version 2017-09-01
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DEDICATION
For my family, who remind me
of what’s important in life.
CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
An Introduction to Lagom
01
Lagom in your Personal Life
The lagom home
The lagom guide to soothing the soul
The lagom guide to physical happiness
The lagom key to success
02
Lagom in Family and Relationships
The lagom guide to friendship
The lagom guide to relationships
The lagom guide to parenting
The lagom guide to celebrations
03
Lagom in the Wider World
The lagom guide to community spirit
The lagom guide to respecting nature
The lagom guide to saving energy at home
The lagom guide to reducing our foodprint
The lagom guide to eco daily life
Conclusion
Endnotes
Index of searchable terms
Thank you
About the Author
About the Publisher
John Price/Unsplash
Fourteen years ago, I was invited to spend my summer holiday with a Swedish friend.
The long hours of daylight were spent eating home-baked waffles with strawberry jam, swimming in the sea and soaking up the sun on Sweden’s West Coast. The days were carefree and uncomplicated. We had no schedule to keep, no fancy meals to prepare and work couldn’t have been further from our minds. It was about slowing down, enjoying the warmer weather and making the most of what nature had to offer, surrounded by family and friends. It was the perfect setting for the beginnings of a love affair – not only with my Swedish husband but also with the Swedish way of life.
I found myself captivated by this slower, fuss-free way of living. And when my husband and I discussed who should make the ‘big move’ one year later, I was on my way to the airport faster than I could say ‘Jag!’ (me!).
As I settled into Swedish life, I realized that the calm approach isn’t confined to the holidays. At work, it’s normal to set tasks aside regularly and take a fika (a break involving a coffee and a treat of some kind). Children enjoy two extra years of play before starting school (compared to their UK counterparts). And celebrations like Christmas and midsummer are generally scaled-back affairs with a strong focus on being together. In other words, our Nordic friends take their time to do things right – in a wonderful, uncomplicated way.
It was at a dinner party in my adopted hometown of Malmö that I learnt the philosophy behind this way of life.
‘Do you know the word lagom?’ my new Swedish friends asked over dinner. ‘You don’t have a translation for it in English,’ they said proudly.
‘Does it mean “perfect”?’ I ventured.
‘No, not perfect – it’s sort of “just right”,’ they explained, nodding in agreement with each other.
Lagom, pronounced ‘lah-gom’ (‘la’ like ‘far’, ‘gom’ like ‘from’), is an overarching concept that is heavily ingrained in the Swedish psyche. Often loosely translated as ‘everything ‘in moderation’ or ‘not too much and not too little’, lagom is about finding a balance that works for you. Water can be lagom warm. You can work a lagom amount. Trousers can be a lagom fit. It’s a word you can use in almost any context, which is also what makes it fascinating.
Lagom is commonly thought to derive from Viking times, rooted in the term laget om (around the team). It’s said a bowl or horn of mead would be passed in a circle, and it was important that everyone only sipped their ‘fair share’ so there was enough to go round. The Vikings wouldn’t usually be first on my list as a moral compass, but they were certainly on to something. Today, lagom is closely linked to the Swedish cultural and social ideology of fairness and equality. Ferociously independent they may be, but Swedes are also known for working together for the collective good. Taking the ‘right amount’ is a step towards ensuring that no one amasses too much and no one is left wanting.
Whether it’s applied to work, leisure, family and relationships, holidays and celebrations, interior design or living in a way that’s kinder to the planet, the Swedes will often tell you that lagom är bäst – the right amount is best, and moderation is key.
Having said that, there’s definitely a time for excess in Sweden. If you’ve ever been to a Swedish midsummer celebration or drunk a cup of their (exceedingly strong) freshly brewed coffee, you’ll know what I mean. It’s just that they won’t punish themselves with abstinence afterwards. The Swede will simply continue enjoying everything in moderation (until the next celebration comes along!).
By deliberately seeking a more manageable, comfortable, balanced way of doing things (and finding perfection in imperfection), you’re not just taking the pressure off yourself – you’re taking the pressure off others, too. And you’re gaining more of today’s most precious resource: time.
In a world where we’re connected 24/7 and have so much on our plates, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all slow down a little and lead a life with less stress and more time for the things we love?
You are no doubt exercising lagom in many aspects of your life already. However, I hope the ideas in this book will help you think more consciously about introducing lagom in other ways, too; in a way that works for you. By making subtle changes to your everyday routine, you can find greater balance – and make time for the things that matter most in life. Even if it’s just taking time out of your day to enjoy a fika!
the lagom home
Happiness begins at home (or is that charity?). Either way, research shows that our environment affects our stress levels,1 which in turn affects our physical well-being. After all, home is where we start and end our day. And, in my mind, if there’s one area where Swedes have truly triumphed, it’s in the home. The typical Scandinavian home is the very essence of lagom. It’s neither too sparse nor too fussy, neither overly minimalist nor overdone. In other words, Swedes have the balance just right. But how?
When it comes to decor, our Nordic friends exercise a huge amount of restraint. Walls are often white or light grey. Not only do these muted tones brighten the space but they also create a wonderfully serene feel. Nothing brash, nothing loud, no bold patterns – just calm.
Furniture and accessories are carefully thought out, too. New pieces are chosen for practicality as well as aesthetic appeal. Nothing is superfluous, with no frills or over-the-top designs. Single items are set apart to give them breathing space, helping the eye see the beauty in every piece. Ultimately, the home becomes a little oasis, a haven from the busy world outside.
Siebe/Unsplash
CLEAN + CLUTTER-FREE
Generally speaking, Swedes have a natural ability to maintain an uncluttered home. They simply don’t have much stuff and they don’t hoard. If we wish to achieve a simple, balanced lagom way of life, we first need to rid ourselves of all the things that clutter our homes.
Signs you need to de-clutter
+ You have an entire cupboard or room for items you never use.
+ Or, you wish you had an extra room for storing your clutter.
+ It takes you more than five minutes to find something you’re looking for.
+ You feel stressed at the thought of friends coming over (or, worse still, turning up unannounced) because you have so much to clear away first.
+ You own items you neither use nor find joy in.
You may be lucky enough to have a neat and tidy haven already, in which case – congratulations! You’re well on your way to a lagom life (in the home, at least). But if you checked more than one of the boxes above, there’s work to be done.
De-cluttering
Many of us are guilty of owning too much stuff. That cupboard with boxes of photos circa 1984, old mobile phones the size of a brick, keys for the garden shed at your last house. We’ve become a world of hoarders, because, let’s face it, it’s very hard to let go of things. Maybe you bought it because you thought you’d need it at some point. It may still have a price tag on it, and you feel guilty about getting rid of something brand new. Or you may have received a gift or inherited something you know you’ll never use but can’t bring yourself to throw away. No matter the reason, these items are cluttering up your home and having a negative effect on your well-being.
Scientists list distraction, anxiety, guilt, embarrassment and frustration among the negative effects of hoarding. Furthermore, clutter makes it harder for us to relax and inhibits our creativity. Yikes!
Ultimately, de-cluttering is an exercise in willpower and self-control, but it’s certainly not impossible. And it can also be an incredibly therapeutic process. Not only do you experience direct financial, emotional and physical benefits but it also paves the way to a blissfully neat and tidy home. So, let’s get started.
‘Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.’
William Morris
© Niki Brantmark
Ten simple ways to de-clutter your home
Create a de-clutter to-do list, crossing off each task as you complete it.
Dedicate ten minutes each day to one task (baby steps, my friend).
Go one room at a time and organize items into three boxes: keep, donate and throw away (never a ‘maybe’ box – speaking from experience!).
Follow the ‘one in, one out’ rule – for everything you buy, one thing goes.
Fill a bin bag a day with items you no longer need.
Reduce the area where clutter can accumulate – dedicate a container for toiletries or a folder for paperwork. If new items don’t fit, then it’s time to re-think what’s in the area and get rid of something.
Take out all the items in your wardrobe. Remove five hangers and then put everything back in order of preference. Anything that doesn’t have a hanger goes.
Create a memory box or use an accordion organizer for your kids’ drawings and other treasured items.
Keep a basket or bag by the stairs or in a spot that accumulates clutter and slowly fill it with items. Once it’s full, sort through and put everything back where it belongs.
Stick to the ‘one-touch rule’ for paperwork: sort it as soon as it arrives by recycling, filing or taking action.
FURNISHING YOUR HOME, THE LAGOM WAY
Swedes have an innate ability to furnish a home in a way that’s practical, easy on the eye and affordable. The art, I’ve discovered, is slowing down and taking your time to search for meaningful, purposeful items, such as a comfortable, ergonomic chair for a quiet read, plants that help clean the air or an ornament that puts a smile on your face.
Step inside a Swedish home and you’ll likely discover a selection of high-street pieces, vintage and secondhand finds, hand-me-downs, homemade items and small treasures from nature, such as plants, pebbles, shells and pine cones. The materials are honest, and the shapes timeless.
By buying less and carefully selecting what to include in your home, everything has space to shine and tell its story. And because of your patience in seeking beautifully crafted items with meaning, you will treasure them for years to come – as will future generations, too!
New is not necessarily better
As a naturally nosy person (and a lover of interiors), you can imagine how thrilled I was to learn about the Swedish custom of giving a guided home tour the first time someone visits. While on these tours, it struck me that Swedes have a knack for blending furniture. I particularly admire those who create the ideal balance of old and new, vintage and modern. It’s a perfectly understated way of decorating and is very much in line with the Swedish mind-set. An expensive designer lamp or armchair will be offset by a mid-century credenza to ensure the home is neither too showy nor too bohemian. Of course, it’s fine to own a few designer pieces, but everything should be in moderation.
In my mind, nothing makes a home cosier (or mysigare, as the Swedes would say) and unique than vintage pieces. Not only do they tell a story but you also feel satisfied knowing that you’re doing your bit for mother earth. And it’s amazing what you can pick up secondhand for a song, truly reinforcing the idea that ‘One man’s loss is another man’s treasure!’
Maria Gustavsson, Swedish Ninja © Niki Brantmark
Six tips for buying secondhand
Make a list (or two) Include secondhand stores, flea markets and car-boot sales in your neighbourhood. And think further afield, too, because smaller, out-of-town flea markets are often where you find the biggest bargains. Make a note of the items you’re looking to buy, too.
Check the condition Try to see the item in person so you can check for damage. If it’s not possible, request photos of any nicks or scratches and ask whether it’s in full Working order.
Measure first Make sure you know the exact dimensions of the space where you’re thinking of putting the item and take the measurements with you.
Be flexible You might not find exactly what you’re looking for, but something else equally wonderful might pop up.
Arrive early and bring cash The best things go first, so be ready to buy immediately. If you’re unsure about a price, check online for similar items to compare.
Turn it into a day out Even if you don’t find anything, a mini road trip with a friend is always fun.
Jazmin Quanor/Unsplash
Get flexible
If a brand were to be the embodiment of lagom, it’s IKEA – a company founded, of course, in Sweden. With a vision ‘to create a better everyday life for the many people’, the furniture marries function with understated form and is famous for being flat-pack and affordable.
IKEA is not alone in producing increasingly multi-purpose furniture. For example, it’s not uncommon these days for a sofa to be modular, include built-in storage and convert into a bed, or for a side table to feature a removable tray and basket for magazines. By investing in multi-purpose furniture, you automatically purchase fewer pieces (and consequently save money) and have a more flexible home.
Think practical
Your home has to be highly functional for you to feel happy and relaxed. Above all, it should be easy to live in. Swedes are masters at carving out distinct zones for living, eating and sleeping – even in the smallest spaces. Think about your requirements and try to have a space (no matter how small) dedicated to different activities. You might find that two areas can double up as one.
Tap into your inner carpenter
The cheaper and self-sufficient option, DIY is part of the lagom way of life. My Swedish husband laid our wood floor without so much as an expletive, and it’s not unusual for one of my girlfriends to whip out her toolbox when something needs fixing. Although I’m still an amateur, I find DIY liberating, satisfying and surprisingly mindful. If you don’t have one already, I urge you to buy a toolbox, look for guidelines online and unleash your inner carpenter!
Tasuta katkend on lõppenud.
