Loe raamatut: «The Good Mother»

The Good Mother
Shelley Galloway

To Tom.

Back when we met, my accent was thicker,

my figure was better and wrinkles around my eyes

were only something to dread. Thanks for making

me still feel like the girl you fell in love with…

all those years ago.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Epilogue

Chapter One

In her next life, Evie was going to think things through just a little bit more carefully. Think about things like good old cause and effect.

Brrrinnnggg! Bring, breeng! Bringgg!

Case in point. How come she hadn’t considered just how terrible the shrill ring of a fake cell phone would sound in her baby daughter’s hands when she was in Grab-A-Lot Dollar Store two days ago? Thinking ahead would have done her a lot of good.

Briinnggg!

“Momma, make Missy stop! Her stupid cell phone is drivin’ me crazy!”

Leave it to Jenna to tell it like it was.

“Missy, stop,” Evie said, more to please her seven-year-old than to bring about any change in her toddler.

Jenna had never been one to suffer fools, or to suffer her baby sister’s needs and wishes. Actually, from the moment her little redheaded darling had been born, she hadn’t been in the mood to put up with much of anything, which was really too bad, since Evie could have used some support at the moment.

Briiinnnngggg!

“Momma! She’s not stopping.”

A better mother would be more patient and kind. But Jenna had come about her personality rightfully…which meant a lot of the time Evie didn’t have much patience, either. “Thanks for the update.”

“Can’t you do something?”

“No, and you can’t, either. Don’t touch that phone,” she added, when she heard Jenna shifting closer to the baby, which could only mean the toy was about to be snatched.

It didn’t take a genius to know what would happen then. Missy screaming—loud, clear and unrelenting.

“But Momma—”

“Don’t touch it.”

Breeeinnngggg! Bring! Ding!

“I hate that phone! Can I at least say that?”

“You may.” Evie drummed her fingers on her steering wheel and hoped she was going to make it to her parents’ without going crazy or wondering yet again why she’d decided to make the drive from Texas to Florida’s panhandle in two days.

After all, the girls were acting just like all the parenting books said they were supposed to. Jenna was all of seven and trying so hard to be helpful, even if she was only helping to benefit herself. Missy was just a baby.

As the toy rang and whistled and Jenna sighed dramatically, Evie glanced up to meet her eldest’s glare in the rearview mirror. “Why don’t you color or something?”

Out went the lip. “I’m sick of coloring. And I can’t do anything with Missy going nuts with that phone.”

“It’s keeping her happy. Look on the bright side. She’s not crying.”

“Well, I’m not happy.”

Evie wasn’t, either, but since no one had cared about that during the last year, she didn’t bother to bring it up now. “You’re just going to have to be patient.”

“How much longer until we get to Bishop’s Gate?”

Recalling that they’d just passed the sign for I-85, Evie guesstimated they were close. “One hour. Maybe less.” Bishop’s Gate was a sleepy little beachside town on the west coast of Florida. As the resort billboards on the side of the road advertised, nonstop fun was just minutes away.

Jenna groaned like that was an eternity. “Momma, we’ve been in here forever.”

“Only nine hours.”

“I don’t see why we had to vacation in Florida, anyway.”

“I told you why. We’re going to Bishop’s Gate because it’s where I vacationed every summer when I was a little girl.”

“Now Missy and me get to go.”

It was truly amazing just how sarcastic a seven-year-old could be. “Yep.” And they were going to have a fun time.

“Daddy said Gulf Shores was closer.”

“Daddy’s not here.” Evie winced as she heard her sharp tone. Because she promised herself never to talk bad about John in the girls’ presence, Evie added, “Don’t forget, Grandma and Grandpa will be at the house when we get there. We’re going to grill hot dogs tonight, then all go to the beach tomorrow.”

As Missy pressed another three buttons on the phone and squealed with laughter, Jenna folded her arms across her chest, a true imitation of her father. “Daddy’s going to be all alone while we’re in Florida for one whole month.”

Evie seriously doubted that. Ever since their divorce, John had spent very little time home alone. In fact, he’d spent very little time “finding himself,” which was what he’d said he needed to do the night he’d said their marriage was over.

But that wasn’t something good mothers told their daughters. “We’ll call Daddy tomorrow. You can tell him all about the trip. You’re going to send him pictures, too, remember?”

“I remember.” As Missy kicked her pudgy legs against the navy car seat, Jenna twisted up her lips in a pout. “I’m going to tell Daddy all about your presents, starting with Missy’s cell phone.”

Evie smiled. “I think you should, honey. I think you should tell him all about every single little detail. Maybe you could even bring Missy’s cell phone with you next time y’all go visit him. That way, he’ll know exactly what it was like, traveling in the car with both of you for ten hours straight.”

As Jenna pondered that one, Evie popped a tape in the cassette player. “I’m going to listen to Harry Potter now. You can listen, too, or put on your headphones.”

Evie pushed Play before Jenna could react. During the last few years, Evie had learned there was a time to talk, and a time to hope for silence.

As the story clicked on and cars continued to pass her minivan, Evie let her mind drift, thinking about earlier days when she’d been the one sitting in the backseat on the way to Bishop’s Gate. But back then it hadn’t been a minivan, it had been an early model Chevy station wagon, and she’d never minded the drive because she’d always spent the time thinking about August Meyer.

For eight summers, they’d gone from boy-girl enemies to playground buddies to true friends. They’d argued and played and flirted and finally became something more special. Each summer, they’d shared secrets and swam in the warm gulf water. Nights had been for staying up too late and laughing too much. They’d flirted just enough to make things interesting, and finally kissed the summer before her senior year.

As the scent of the ocean became more pronounced through the open sunroof, Evie grinned, knowing she had no choice but to be honest with herself. They’d done a whole lot more than just kiss. They’d discovered all about love and lust in a cove off Cascade Beach, so much so that Evie had been sure August had been the One, and that she’d been just as special to him.

But then everything changed. After one late period, she and August had pondered babies and futures and their relationship.

But when her monthly had come and with it the knowledge that no baby was on the way, the damage to their relationship had been done. Summer ended, college had come calling, and though they’d promised to stay friends, their letters and phone calls to each other became a thing of the past.

Evie had gone to Texas A&M, August to Florida State. Then she’d met John, had thought she’d found her future, and before she knew it, those summers down at Bishop’s Gate at the Silver Shells Beach Resort were a distant memory.

Until her dad called on Memorial Day and said she should pack up the girls and join them for a month of fun in the sun. Evie found she couldn’t say no. Life had become too hard and too stressful, the memories of happier times too vivid to ignore.

With a clunk, Missy’s cell phone dropped to the floor of the backseat as she fell asleep. A quick glance in the rearview assured Evie that Jenna had done the same. Seeing that she only had fifteen miles to go, Evie dialed her mother.

“I’m on I-85, on the edge of town, Mom.”

“Good! Your dad and I just got back from the store and are putting groceries away. Dad got you two six-packs of Coors Light.”

Evie couldn’t help but smile. Their relationship had truly come full circle. Back when she’d been a teen, she clearly recalled the night she and August had each sneaked a bottle of beer and drank them on the beach, the warm water swirling around their toes as they perched on rocks and pretended they’d never get caught.

Now her parents were buying Evie her own supply. “I’ll be ready for a cold one.”

“Your dad’s gonna fire up the grill. You hungry?”

“I am,” she said with some surprise. It had been a while since food sounded good.

“We can’t wait to see the girls. Dad and I just put fresh sheets on Jenna’s bed and put the crib together. You won’t have to worry about a thing.”

Evie could feel her shoulders relaxing. “Thanks, Mom.” Evie already pictured herself in an old pair of sweats, sipping a Coors and watching the sunset, while her mother held Missy and her dad chatted with Jenna about anything and everything. She might even have ten whole minutes to sit and do nothing. Ten minutes to—

“We’re going to have so much fun together, especially since the Meyers are coming over tonight.”

Hold on, now. “The Meyers?”

“Yep, your dad’s going out to play golf with August tomorrow morning.”

“Why are they coming over tonight?”

“Because we asked them to. Goodness, Evie, it’s been a full three years since you’ve been here. Bev said all I do is talk about Missy. She wants to see that baby.”

Three years. When she and Jenna had last gone down to visit, John had been away on business, and August had been on vacation.

“Evie, is that all right?”

“Of course, Momma,” she answered in a rush. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.” And nostalgic. Gosh, seeing August again! She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“August and Tanya are doing pretty good managing that resort. You’ll have to ask them all about Silver Shores.”

“I will.”

“And August finally broke up with Erin, thank goodness.”

Evie turned off Harry Potter and listened to her mother a little more closely. “Erin?”

“She’s a local girl. I guess Erin and August knew each other back in high school. I have to tell you, Beverly and I knew from the beginning that that match wasn’t meant to be.”

“How long did they date?”

“Off and on a couple of years, I guess.”

“I never heard about that.”

Her mother paused. “Well, you were busy with John, then busy with other things.”

Other things. Code for getting a divorce and trying to pick up her life. “Oh,” Evie said, though that word pretty much summed up nothing.

“You’re going to love catching up with August and his family, I’m sure of it,” her mom said brightly. “We’ll talk more when you arrive, honey. Bye!”

Stunned, Evie clicked off and pondered that one as she exited the highway, drove on the bypass, then finally took the turnoff to Silver Shells, a cottage and resort community that had been nestled in Bishop’s Gate for well on twenty years.

After another series of right and left turns, she pulled into the driveway just as Jenna was waking up.

Evie had just opened her car door when her dad came trotting out.

“Hey, honey,” he said, enveloping her in a hug. “Glad you made it okay.”

“Me, too,” she said as her dad opened the van’s side panel and smiled broadly at Jenna.

“JJ!”

“Grandpa!”

Evie stood to one side as she watched her dad scoop up her eldest and shuttle her on inside, Jenna squealing in delight when he pretended to almost drop her.

As the front screen door slammed, a huge sense of relief filled Evie as she climbed in the backseat and crouched in front of Missy, whose head was listed to one side. Just looking at the sleeping twenty-two-month-old made her smile, and think every day was so worth it, even when things seemed completely insurmountable.

As she unfastened the front buckle and carefully lifted the top out from around Missy’s wispy curls, her daughter’s body hung limply. She had never known anyone who could sleep as soundly as Missy. Evie scooped the baby up, resting her daughter’s curly-topped head against her shoulder as she backed up and began scooting out toward the door.

Only to be stopped by a hand on her hip.

“Whoa, there,” the hand’s owner murmured.

Whoa, was right. Though the contact had only lasted a split second, the touch vibrated through her whole body. Evie twisted out of the van, planted her feet on the ground and took a deep breath, all the while doing her best to keep Missy firmly upright.

And then it was all she could do to stand still because the man staring at her was one she would’ve known anywhere: August Meyer.

“Need a hand?”

She looked at his hand—big, capable, devoid of rings. And because he looked just a little bit cocky, she raised an eyebrow. “Not on my butt.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t look the least bit contrite. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t.” She juggled Missy a little closer.

His eyes softened. Green eyes that looked so familiar and warm. Comforting, like a hug. “How are you, Evie?”

Her mouth went dry as she realized she remembered far more about August than she’d ever admitted to herself. “Truthfully?”

He held up a pinkie, just like they used to do so many years ago. “Of course.”

“I…I don’t really know.”

Chapter Two

Thankfully, August didn’t have a moment to reply because her mother came flying out the front door.

“You’re here! When you called and said you were close, I thought you’d maybe get here in an hour, not in fifteen minutes.” Jan smiled at August before hugging Evie and scooping Missy out of her arms at the same time. Missy opened her big blue eyes and squirmed.

“I’m going to go take our baby on inside,” Jan said, pressing kisses to Missy’s chubby cheeks. “August, you’ll help Evie unload, right?”

“It’s why I’m here.”

Evie blinked. His words were bland, his expression open and friendly. Their past was just that…in the past. So why did she feel as if his words held special meaning just for her?

As the screen door slammed shut again, leaving the two of them alone with just the sound of a couple of bullfrogs, August met her gaze. “It’s good to see you.”

“You, too. It’s been a long time.”

“Almost ten years.”

“Yes.”

He tilted his head toward the excited chatter filtering out from the cottage. “Your girls are pretty.”

“Thanks. They’re a handful.”

“I guess all kids are.”

She’d run out of words. “Maybe.”

Still, he scanned her face, his green eyes looking like he was trying to memorize every feature. “I heard you got divorced.”

“I did. About a year and a half ago. I heard you just had a breakup, too.”

“Me and Erin weren’t ever going to amount to much. It just took us a while to come to terms with it.”

“It still had to be hard.”

August shrugged. “If it was, it was because things didn’t happen like I’d hoped. When my dad died and left me the business, Erin and I kind of fell by the wayside.”

“I heard about your dad. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “Thanks.” After a moment, he gestured toward the van. “So, what can I help you with, Evie?”

There she went again, imagining a loaded question.

What didn’t she need help with? Everything. Her life. Her job. Her complete sense of failure as a wife…running off a husband who wasn’t even running to something, just away from their marriage.

But that wasn’t what August had meant, and those problems weren’t ones she was willing to share with him.

Instead, she pointed to the open side door. With the girls out of it, Evie thought the minivan looked a whole lot like Santa’s sleigh, it was so completely packed full of toys and coolers and suitcases and baskets. “Take hold of anything you want,” she said, quickly grabbing the nearest duffel and yanking it over the bucket seats.

August popped open the hatchback and pulled out two suitcases. “You never could travel light, Evie,” he said with a chuckle. “Remember how you’d pack for the beach?”

She did. Her beach bag would be filled with lotions and lipstick and hair bows. Anything to make August pay attention to her.

As she followed him into the house, Evie couldn’t help but notice that he still had a swimmer’s body. Those shoulders were still incredibly broad, his hips lean in the worn pair of camou-colored cargo shorts. “I guess some things never change,” she murmured.

The cottage was just like she remembered, except for smelling of fresh paint. Jenna was already sitting on a red-and-yellow area rug, playing with a pile of Legos her parents had dug out and watching TV. A plate of animal cookies and a glass of milk sat on a table to her right.

Evie was so relieved someone else was taking care of all the details that she didn’t even care that Jenna was most likely getting too full for dinner.

August had already gone downstairs to the lower level, and Evie was about to follow when her dad stopped her and put the duffel next to the stairs. “Come have a beer, sunshine.”

“The van—”

“August will get another load, and I’ll help him in a minute. You need a break.” Circling an arm around her shoulders, Mike led her into the bright kitchen.

After her dad thrust a cold bottle of Coors into her hand, he raised an imaginary bottle in a toast. “Cheers, dear. You made it.”

“Cheers.” Tears pricked at her eyes. She knew exactly what he meant. Today had certainly been a long time coming. Ever since her divorce, she’d just been subsisting, doing her best to get through each day. Weekends consisted of days alone with both girls, or days alone without them. Through it all, she still hadn’t yet mastered managing her time. Agreeing to leave the state with the girls for a whole month had taken more than a leap of faith. It had been a leap without a safety net.

But John had been asked to go to Japan on business, and even he had thought it was a good time for her to get away.

As they heard the screen door screech open and slam again, duty called. “I better go help—”

Her dad held up a hand. “August, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” August called back, tromping back downstairs.

Her dad grinned. “See?”

Evie leaned against the granite-topped center island. “I see. I see that you’re up to something.”

“Just no good.” Her dad winked, the old joke they’d shared illuminating the room as brightly as the new fluorescent track lights above them.

“Momma? Momma, Missy needs to be changed, and she’s hungry, too.”

Ah, Jenna. The voice of reason. “I’ll be right there.”

“I’m taking care of it,” her mother called out. “You stay in the kitchen. Mike? Come help August.”

“You sit here and relax for a spell, sunshine.”

Evie did, hopping up on the bar stool next to the island. She wasn’t a huge drinker, but beer never tasted so good as it did at the beach. Must be something with the salty air, she supposed.

In the living room, life went on, the screen door opening and shutting, Missy fussing as her mother attempted to get that diaper changed, Jenna talking a mile a minute. The noises were comforting, familiar. Almost strange. It had been a long time since she’d sat while everyone else did the work.

After a few more minutes, August came in the kitchen with her cooler and propped it next to the stainless-steel sink. “This is the last of it.”

“Thanks. I really appreciate all your help.”

“It took ten minutes, Ev. No big deal.”

Since she didn’t want to thank him yet again, she simply nodded.

“I put the down pillow on your bed. It was yours, right?”

Now, why did that seem so personal? She swallowed. “Yes.”

He stepped closer, letting her see that he, too, had grown older. Fine lines creased his eyes, the shadow of a beard graced his jaw. He was wearing cologne. Nothing too fancy, but tangy enough to set her senses on edge and make it hard to remember that she had a whole lot of other things to think about besides old memories.

“Well. I guess you’re all set, then.”

“I guess I am.” She attempted to smile. “I swear, I’m so tired, I’m going to sleep the moment my head hits that pillow.”

The doorbell rang, effectively preventing August from commenting on that. Thank God. “Mom and Tanya are here,” he said, looking almost regretful. “I better go help my mom get settled.”

She was just about to follow August out of the kitchen when her dad wandered in again. “Stay here and talk to me,” he ordered, popping open a beer for himself and pulling out a tray of burgers, all ready for the grill. “You hungry?”

“I could be.”

“I hope so. You look like hell, Evie.”

“Thanks.”

“You need to hear it. You’re too skinny and you’ve got lines on your face.”

“Those would be wrinkles. I am getting older, Dad.”

“Not that old. More likely, I’d say you’re stressed out.” Looking her over again, he shook his head. “That damn John.”

Just hearing John’s name could make her go from almost happy to miserable in a heartbeat. “I don’t want to talk about John.”

Her dad scowled, revealing his own supply of age lines. “We never have talked about him, about what he did to you. Not really.”

“There was nothing to say. He didn’t want to be married anymore.” To her.

“He always was too selfish. The girls needed—”

“He’s a good daddy.” With some shock, Evie remembered how he’d never minded helping to change diapers or spend time with Jenna. How he’d been thrilled to have another girl and had visibly held back tears when Missy had been in the hospital with croup. “John’s always been good to the girls.”

“But never the husband you needed. He should have intended to be more than a good father—”

“Daddy, we weren’t meant to be together. I’ve known it for a long time.”

“Still, he broke your heart.”

“My heart broke because I realized that my marriage had never been like I’d hoped it to be.” Quietly she added, “Daddy, it wasn’t like you and Momma. John and I never had a thing to say to each other at the end of the day.”

Concern flickered in his gray eyes, so like her own. “But still—”

“But still, it’s been hard,” she agreed. Terribly hard.

After taking another sip of his beer, her dad shook his head. “Come on out to the patio and watch me cook. August’s mom and sister are already out there.”

“I can’t wait to see Tanya. I haven’t seen her since she came out to visit last year. Do she and August stop over a lot?”

“Pretty much. August runs Silver Shells now, did you know that?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“He took over when his dad had heart surgery. When Al passed, August made a lot of changes. The place was just listed in Florida Today as one of the top vacation resorts.”

All this was news to her. “I can’t believe so much has happened to August and I didn’t know it.”

“Why? You’ve had your own problems, Evie.” Handing her a tray of appetizers, he said, “Let’s go visit.”

As they heard laughter out on the back patio, her dad’s expression momentarily sobered. “It’s only fair to warn you that Bev Meyer isn’t doing too well.”

Evie’s steps faltered. “Mrs. Meyer’s sick? What’s wrong?”

“You’ll see,” he said before walking out the back door, leaving Evie to wonder what else she’d missed while unsuccessfully trying to have a life with John.