Loe raamatut: «The Doctor's Texas Baby»

Special thanks and acknowledgment are given

to Deb Kastner for her contribution to the

Lone Star Cowboy League: Boys Ranch miniseries.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Title Page

Bible Verse

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Extract

Copyright

Chapter One

What had she been thinking?

There was no question in Carolina Mason’s mind that returning to her hometown, Haven, Texas, was a bad idea.

Too many complications. Too many memories. Most of all, too much heartbreak.

And yet here she was. What few household goods she owned were now unpacked in her late great-uncle’s cabin, where she’d made up a room for herself and one for her two-year-old son, Matty.

If she had any sense in this head of hers, she’d ignore all the rational reasons she’d come back to Haven in the first place, pack up her sedan again and go back from whence she’d come.

If there was a back.

Which there wasn’t.

The truth was, she had ultimately returned to Haven because, to her own shame and mortification, she had nowhere else to go.

She was facing a fairly insurmountable problem, as she saw it. No health, no home, no job and not much of an opportunity to get one. If it was just her life in the balance, she might have resisted the urge to return.

But this wasn’t about her. It was about Matty. He needed the stability the small town offered, which she could not otherwise give him.

Uncle Mort’s cabin was available to her rent-free. Where else would she find a deal like that? And though returning home wasn’t exactly a typical fresh start, no other choices had presented themselves. She had to take what she could get.

Besides, she had important, possibly critical legal news to deliver to Bea Brewster, the director of the local boys ranch, information Carolina knew they were anxiously waiting on. The kind of news that was better delivered in person.

Since that was her first order of business after unloading all of her personal belongings, she headed to the boys ranch as soon as the moving truck had left her uncle’s premises.

She paused at the door to the front office of the boys ranch and ran a palm down the denim of her jeans, considering her options for about the hundredth time that week. In one hand she clutched her purse, which contained the legal document the boys ranch director was awaiting. Matty clung tightly to her opposite arm, his hand squeezing hers.

He was usually an outgoing and curious toddler, but at the moment he was hiding behind Carolina and peeking out at his surroundings from around her leg.

Her heart clenched. She suspected her son’s sudden shyness was due to his picking up on her nerves and anxiety. The poor child had had enough change, with his entire life being uprooted, without having the challenge of immediately adapting to his new surroundings.

“It’s okay, little man. You and Mama are going to be just fine. You’ll see.” She affectionately and—she hoped—encouragingly ruffled his dark hair.

“Carolina!” Receptionist Katie Ellis exited through the front door of the office, a pink canvas lunch tote hanging from her elbow. “What a nice surprise!”

Any thoughts Carolina might have had of skipping town without being recognized dissipated into thin air as she nodded at her friend. Katie was a few years younger than Carolina but they had gotten to know each other while volunteering at community events and had become friends.

“It’s good to see you,” Carolina said, hoping the strain she was feeling didn’t echo in her voice. “Still working for the boys ranch, I see. It’s been a long time.”

“Too long,” Katie agreed, racing forward to envelop Carolina in an enthusiastic hug. “How many years has it been, do you think?”

“Three.” Carolina sighed inwardly, the ache in her chest growing. She knew exactly how long it had been since she’d last been in Haven. Not just to the year, but to the month. Even to the day.

Katie grasped Carolina’s elbow and turned them both back toward her office.

“I don’t want to interrupt your lunch hour,” Carolina protested. “I can come back later.”

“Nonsense.” She held up her tote. “It’s only a salad, and I’m heartily tired of eating greens every day. But wouldn’t you know I have to perpetually diet just to keep my figure.” She shrugged and grinned. “What’s a single woman to do? Anyway, lunch will wait. I want to hear all about you. What’s been happening in your life since you left Haven?”

Katie dropped into her chair behind the desk and gestured for Carolina to take a seat.

“I can see at least one thing has changed,” Katie said with a giggle, gesturing at Matty.

Carolina tried to pull a wiggling Matty onto her lap, but he protested loudly and tried to squirm away.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized to Katie. “I promise I’ll fill you in, but I need to get Matty settled first.”

She set him down on the floor by her feet and fished around in her oversize purse, triumphantly retrieving two toy cars. “Here you go, buddy. One for each fist. Stay close and play quietly, please.”

Matty was already distracted, his attention on the little police car and fire truck he held in his hands.

Carolina returned her attention to Katie.

Katie leaned back in her seat and smiled. “Obviously you didn’t have any trouble catching a man’s eye, now did you? You look exactly the same as the day you left Haven. Or prettier, even. And you had a baby? Are you and your husband planning to move back to town with your sweet little boy?” Katie stopped hammering Carolina with questions long enough to give her a once-over. “I have to say I am seriously envious of your figure right now. How do you do it?”

Carolina bit back a bitter laugh. The compliment was sincere and well meant, but she was perfectly aware that the person who’d left Haven in such a rush three years ago was not even remotely the same as the woman who’d returned. She was older now, hopefully a little wiser, and infinitely worse for the wear.

Physically, emotionally and spiritually. If she had kept her figure, it was because she was too stressed to eat most of the time.

Life had come full circle for her, and she was back in Haven, where she’d once found her deepest peace, her grandest love and her greatest heartbreak. She’d been pregnant and troubled when she’d left town.

The biggest change in her life was that she’d become a Christian while she’d been away, living in Colorado with a friend. She was still learning what her faith entailed. Trust didn’t come easy to her, and thinking about God as a loving Father was still a concept she wrestled with. Her own father hadn’t exactly been a good role model.

When she’d first escaped to Colorado and had no money to buy the food she’d needed to help her have a healthy pregnancy, folks from a nearby church had reached out to help her. They’d not only shared their food but their faith, and now it was Carolina’s precarious trust in God’s love and mercy that kept her going, knowing He held the future, even when from her perspective it was all jumbled up.

She prayed returning home was the right decision, that she would be able to recover some of the peace she’d once had.

But love?

That was so not happening. A romantic relationship was not even a blip on the radar, and she was fairly certain it never would be. She had her hands full raising Matty.

She tensed. This was the part she had dreaded and worried about the most in coming back to town.

Breathe in, breathe out.

It was no wonder Matty was picking up on her anxiety. It was practically radiating from her.

Presenting Matty to Katie and talking about him would be relatively easy compared to what she imagined it would be like with some of the other folks in town.

It was overwhelming to realize this was the first of many times she’d have to introduce her son—to friends and acquaintances, neighbors in town, and at church. And she’d have to explain that a husband didn’t come along with the package.

She anticipated a few surprised looks, maybe even a little gossip, but hopefully no one would ask about the boy’s father, at least not right away. She wasn’t ready to open up about Matty’s parentage, to disclose her secret.

Honestly, she doubted she’d ever be ready.

“No husband,” she managed to choke out.

Katie’s face turned a pretty shade of pink. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed—”

Carolina sighed. “It’s not a big deal. You had no way of knowing. I’m sure you’ll be the first of many to ask.”

Actually, the question was like a jab in the stomach, but she knew she’d better get used to it.

“No worries there. Everyone is going to adore this handsome little fella,” Katie assured her, clearly backtracking.

Carolina ran her palm across the cowlick in her son’s dark hair, but he paid no attention to her as he busily pushed his cars across the tile floor, making vrooming and screeching noises, punctuated with the occasional fire truck or police vehicle siren.

Matty’s resemblance to his father was striking, should anyone care to notice. Carolina prayed they wouldn’t. If Katie didn’t notice, maybe there was hope that others would miss the connection as well.

“Matty, be a gentleman and say hi to Miss Katie.”

Hearing his name, Matty looked up from his toys.

“I’m Matty,” he proclaimed proudly.

Katie chuckled. “Nice to meet you, Matty.” Her gaze returned to Carolina, and her smile widened. “What a little sweetheart.”

Carolina released the breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding.

“Would you like to take a tour around our new ranch? It’s quite an improvement over the old one. Thanks to Cyrus Culpepper, we’ve been able to take in twice the number of needy boys.”

“That’s great news. What I saw driving in looks wonderful. Actually, I’ve got some important information about the Culpepper will. That’s why I’m here.” Carolina once again fished through her purse, this time searching for the certified letter she’d received the week previously.

She really did need to buy a smaller handbag that half of her worldly possessions wouldn’t get lost in. After Matty had turned two, she’d graduated from a diaper bag to her current purse, which wasn’t much smaller than the enormous blue elephant bag had been. But with an active toddler, she still found it necessary to carry a lot of stuff. Toy cars, a pull-on diaper or two, wet wipes, fruit snacks...

Finally locating and retrieving the envelope, she placed it on the desk in front of her. “I need to speak to Bea. I believe it’s regarding a legal matter.”

“Of course. She’s out to lunch right now, but I expect her back in a half an hour or so. I’ll text her to let her know you’re here.”

Carolina shifted her gaze to Matty just as, standing on tiptoe, he reached for the stack of papers teetering on the edge of Katie’s desk.

“Matty, no,” Carolina barked, just barely managing to snatch him out of the way before the whole stack of invoices went flying off the desk. As it was, four or five documents fluttered to the ground around her feet.

Shaking her head in dismay, she propped Matty on her hip and turned to Katie. “I’m so sorry. Sometimes I think curiosity should have been Matty’s middle name.”

Heat suffused Carolina’s face. She only hoped Katie would not ask what Matty’s real middle name was. It would be a dead giveaway for sure.

Katie grinned and stood, moving around the desk and stooping to retrieve the errant papers. “Not a problem. No harm done.”

Carolina returned her smile. “Yet. This child can get into mischief faster than you can say Jack Frost. I’m his mother and I can barely keep up with him.”

“Do you like horses, Matty? I think we have just enough time before Miss Bea gets back for us to go visit the stables.” She winked at Carolina. “And get him out for some fresh air? Maybe run off a bit of his energy? If only we could bottle it up and use it for ourselves, huh?” she said. “Imagine how much we could accomplish in a day.”

Carolina laughed and nodded. “I’ll say.”

As Katie led them between outbuildings toward the stable, she regaled Carolina with funny stories about the resident boys and the animals and pointed out various buildings and working areas of the boys ranch.

Carolina was familiar with the general purpose of the ranch, which, under the guidance of the Lone Star Cowboy League, was to care for and mentor troubled boys ages six to seventeen, kids who were having difficulties at home. Most of the time their parents or caregivers, unable to deal with the boys’ emotional issues on their own, placed them at the boys ranch for a time. These were the kids who were walking a fine line, and the ranch had many success stories of kids who had grown up and gone on to be model citizens and useful members of their communities.

Since Carolina wasn’t personally connected to the ranch in any way, she knew very little about the specifics and had never visited. Three years ago when she’d left Haven, it had still been located at the smaller facility, which had only had the capacity to house twelve boys. Now that they’d moved, they’d been able to expand the children’s options and aid them in moving forward with their lives.

As Katie talked, Carolina became increasingly impressed by the number of programs the ranch now offered to help the boys transition into public life, to become honorable, faithful and hardworking members of society. They attended the nearby public school during the week and Haven Community Church on Sundays.

The boys also had the opportunity to acquire a trade. In addition to ranch work, they could learn cooking, carpentry, welding, painting, plumbing—the impressive list went on and on.

Carolina took a deep breath of the country air and reveled in the uniquely rural aroma that assaulted her nostrils—the pungent odors of hay and horses, prairie grass, and freshly dug earth mingled with the scents of the barnyard animals they passed. Oddly, it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. After three years in the city, the ranch smelled like home.

White picket fences surrounded the property. Brown cattle dotted the rolling green hills. Matty was entranced by the squawking chickens pecking for food on the ground inside their coop. Carolina chuckled at the plump piglets rooting around in the mud, grunting to their hearts’ content.

Her ears picked up on the congregational sound of bleating. A herd of hungry sheep, perhaps. Or goats.

She wondered if they might be able to take a quick detour to introduce Matty to the goats. Her son would go crazy over a cute little bleating baby with its nubby horns and curious nature. What were they called again?

Kids?

Carolina chuckled. That sounded about right, given that goats were similarly stubborn and inclined to get themselves into loads of mischief.

“I’m really excited about one of our newest projects,” Katie gushed as they rounded the corner of the barn. “It’s already proving to be one of the most popular programs we’ve ever had here on the ranch.”

Carolina pulled her cell phone from her back pocket and checked the time, thinking that, although she hated to cut the visit short, she should probably suggest returning to the office so she could be waiting there to speak to Bea when the director returned from her lunch.

As much as she was enjoying the tour of the ranch, and especially watching Matty interact with the animals, it was more imperative than ever that she speak to the ranch’s director as soon as possible. She’d had no idea of the length and breadth of the boys ranch activities, and now that she knew more about it, she realized just how important her information was.

It broke her heart that she was the bearer of bad news that could possibly affect the ranch’s future. Hopefully not, but the sooner they got the information, the better. Her great-uncle Morton, whom the lawyer representing the ranch was seeking, had recently died of a heart attack.

A moment’s grief swirled through her and she swallowed hard. She’d been especially close to her great-uncle, and his passing had been hard on her. Gritting her teeth, she stared at her boots as she mentally herded her emotions into the deepest corner of her heart and clamped them down with the strength of her will.

“Katie, I should probably—”

Blinking back tears, she looked up to find a man’s dark eyes on hers. Their eyes met and locked, surprise and shock registering within his deep stare.

She gasped, her entire body stiffening like a slab of concrete.

He swallowed hard enough to make his Adam’s apple bob. Clearly he was every bit as stunned as she was.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

This couldn’t be happening.

Wyatt Harrow.

The man who’d won her heart and then shattered it into a million pieces.

No—that wasn’t fair to him. She couldn’t honestly place the blame at his door for what had happened. Not when she was the one at fault—for everything.

For not knowing better than to trust her own heart. For not having the strength to stay in control of her emotions enough not to surrender to the physical need to find comfort for their mutual grief. For not being brave enough to tell Wyatt the truth about Matty, even if she’d believed—and still believed—that it was in his best interest not to know.

She’d been the one to abruptly end their relationship, not Wyatt. She’d literally walked away from him, and from Haven, even though her heart had been breaking into smaller and smaller pieces with every step she took, for every mile of distance she put between them.

His presence was like a slap on the face.

Wyatt was here. He’d seen her. There was no turning away now. Nowhere to run or hide from the truth.

She felt as if she were drowning. She coaxed herself to breathe through the crashing waves of reality, but the air seemed to freeze in her lungs as she watched him slowly recover from his own shock.

Surrounded by a herd of goats and a motley flock of boys displaying varying degrees of interest in what he was doing, Wyatt was clearly in the middle of some kind of veterinary demonstration. He had a syringe in one hand and a goat trapped between his muscular legs.

He was every bit as handsome and rugged as she remembered, from the tip of his black Stetson to the toes of his tan cowboy boots. Jet-black hair, eyes the color of dark chocolate, powerful biceps, broad shoulders sloping to a cowboy’s trim waist. A well-worn T-shirt that might once have been red, a fleece-lined denim jacket and tattered jeans that spoke of his hard manual labor as a large-animal veterinarian.

The only thing that had changed from the last time she had seen him, from the man she had left three years ago, were the lines of strain on his face and the pure icy coldness of his gaze. Her heart clenched as she remembered how his eyes used to warm when he looked at her, when his whole countenance lit up whenever she was around.

But not now.

He pulled his hat down to shadow his thoughts, but he couldn’t hide the frown that curved his lips into a downward arch.

What was Wyatt doing here?

Not just here at the boys ranch. That much was fairly evident.

But why was he still in Haven?

Carolina quivered from the adrenaline still coursing through her. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she might run into him. She had been so certain he would be long gone from town by now, or else she would never have even considered returning—letter or no letter.

That was the whole point, wasn’t it? Why she’d left in the first place? To give Wyatt his freedom?

Wyatt stood to his full height, and Carolina’s breath snagged in her throat. She’d hoped that if she ever saw him again she would feel nothing, that she would have moved beyond the long nights and emotions born of grief and loneliness.

Instead, nothing had changed, except perhaps that her feelings had grown stronger over time. It was as if every nerve in her body was attuned to his.

The brown-speckled goat Wyatt had been working on bleated and bolted away, but he didn’t appear to notice. His posture was stiff and intimidating as he stared back at her, tight jawed and frowning.

“Carolina.” His usually rich baritone emerged low and gritty.

“Mama?” Matty squeezed her hand.

She’d been so shocked by Wyatt’s sudden appearance that she’d momentarily forgotten Matty was at her side.

Wyatt’s gaze shifted to Matty and then back up to her again, his eyes widening in surprise.

Now the electricity intensified, zapping back and forth like lightning between them. Her pulse ratcheted. Her heart hammered. Her worst fear, realized.

Matty.

Oh, precious Lord, please help me.

Even as she prayed for relief, she knew there was no way out of this. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t intended to reveal this secret. Not to anyone, but most especially not to Wyatt.

Ever.

The whole reason she’d left Haven was to allow Wyatt to pursue the life he’d dreamed of. Ever since she’d known him, he’d spoken about his desire to help the poor and destitute in foreign countries learn how to raise animals. He wanted to provide them with a trade through which they could work themselves out of a poverty-stricken existence.

It was a noble goal, the dream of his heart, and if she had stayed, she would have ruined it for him. His parents had been foreign diplomats who’d died in an explosion, and Wyatt had never quite gotten over the loss, even if it made him more determined than ever to help those less fortunate than him. She’d known him well enough to know there was no way he would ever consider bringing a wife and child with him to a third-world country where they might be in danger.

Carolina had known and understood this, and she’d loved him enough to let him go. That was why she’d left Haven so suddenly when she’d discovered she was pregnant with Matty. Everything she’d been through since then—every struggle, every trial she’d endured, every night spent crying in her pillow, had been for Wyatt’s sake.

Because if he’d known she was pregnant, he would have had no choice but to stay with her in Haven. He wasn’t the kind of man who would walk away from his responsibilities. He would have given up all of his personal hopes and dreams for the sake of his son. She had no doubt whatsoever that he was the guy who would do the right thing by her and by Matty. He would have asked her to marry him.

But she’d been in love with him, and the right thing wasn’t good enough for her—or for Matty. Their lives couldn’t be built on one night’s mistake.

If she’d believed Wyatt was in love with her, that would have been one thing. But before the night Matty was conceived they’d only been casually dating, and the night they’d shared had been born of sorrow, not joy. A marriage and family based only on a man’s sense of decency and not true love? Her heart couldn’t take it.

So she’d left.

And now she was back, only to discover Wyatt had never left at all. Why wasn’t he in Uganda or deep in the Amazon jungle somewhere?

Had her sacrifice been for nothing?

“Mama?” Matty said again, yanking her arm more intently this time. “Mama. Mama.”

She scooped him into her arms and gently patted his back, reassuring herself as much as him. Her fight-or-flight instinct was working overtime, and it was all she could do to stand firm and not flee.

But what good would it do her to turn away now? Wyatt had already caught sight of Matty. He was watching the toddler through narrowed eyes and pressed lips as the boy tangled his fingers into Carolina’s hair.

“You’re a mama?” Wyatt asked, and for one confused moment, no longer than a blink of an eye, Carolina thought...hoped...prayed that he wouldn’t comprehend what that meant. That he wouldn’t realize the truth about those identical chocolate-brown eyes that were literally staring right back at him, among the many features that mirrored his own.

“I—how could you?” he stammered, picking off his hat and threading his fingers through his hair.

Carolina cringed, waiting for him to come loose at the seams. How could he not? She wouldn’t blame him. He had every right to be furious.

She held her breath, waiting for the explosion she knew was coming.

But when he spoke, it was deep, and hushed, and as hard and cold as steel.

“Tell me the truth, Carolina, for once in your life. This boy—is he my son?”

* * *

Wyatt’s breath felt like icicles in his lungs, poking and puncturing his chest with each ragged gasp.

That boy, the animated, dark-haired, dark-eyed child clinging to Carolina’s neck, was his son.

For the very first few seconds after he’d realized Carolina wasn’t alone, that she had her toddler with her, there had been a flash of confusion—of anger, of envy—that she had been able to move on with her life so quickly after abandoning him. It had taken him months to recover enough to go on with his daily life without thinking of her with every heartbeat, and there were still days—and nights—he found difficulty putting the past behind him.