Loe raamatut: «Forsaking All Others»

CHAPTER ONE

“THAT was Uncle Leo’s car!” Jamie glanced up from the hand-held computer game that was his latest obsession, his brown eyes alight with excitement as a sleek silver-grey Aston Martin appeared behind them on the quiet road that led from the suburbs of Stockport towards the contrasting wildness of the Peak District and overtook the elderly Escort Estate in one smooth manoeuvre. “Isn’t it super? It does almost two hundred miles an hour.”

“Does it really?” Maddy responded drily. “Pity the speed limit’s only seventy.”

“Oh, Uncle Leo never goes too fast,” her son confided. “Though he can when he’s in Germany—they don’t have a speed limit there, and I bet he really bombs along!”

“I expect he does,” Maddy conceded. “Remind me never to accept an invitation from him.”

Jamie returned her a scathing look. “You wouldn’t be scared would you?” he queried, with all the scorn of a bright eight-year-old for anything that could be thought remotely cissy.

“Yes, I would,” she confessed without hesitation. “I’ve too healthy a regard for my own skin to want to dash around at that sort of speed with only a tin box around me.”

Jamie chuckled with laughter, and turned his attention back to the challenge of the EcoWarrior, the tip of his tongue between his teeth as he zapped out the greenhouse gasses to repair the hole in the ozone layer. It had been a gift from his Uncle Leo, who owned the company that made it.

Well, at least forewarned was forearmed, Maddy reflected wryly. In fact, she ought to have guessed that he would be here—if she had allowed herself to think about him; but the habit of refusing to let herself think about him had become deeply ingrained over the years. She became aware that her hands were clenching the wheel a little too tightly, and made a conscious effort to relax them. She could cope with meeting Leo Ratcliffe again.

The telephone call from her sister-in-law had come in the small hours of the morning. She still wasn’t quite sure how she was supposed to feel. Jeremy, the husband she had walked out on nearly six years ago, was dead—killed in a skiing accident. Off-piste, of course, and in defiance of all the avalanche warnings; sensible caution had never been Jeremy’s strong point—he had always lived as if he believed himself to be indestructible.

Yes, she was sad—sad for the thought of what might have been, if only the spoilt little boy she had married had ever been able to grow up. And sad for a man who at least had known how to enjoy life—albeit with such magnificent selfishness—who suddenly was not there any more. He hadn’t even reached his thirtieth birthday.

She glanced down at the child by her side, his soft brown head bent in deep concentration over his game. So far he seemed to have taken the news quite well. But at just eight years old he was just getting to the age when a father was important to him—and whatever else she might have accused Jeremy of, she couldn’t deny that he had tried to be a good one. Once a month, regular as clockwork, he had arrived to take his son down to Hadley Park for his weekend visit.

Hadley Park…Of course—the beautiful old house, barely beyond the suburbs of Manchester but seemingly a world away, would be Jamie’s now. A wry smile curved her delicate mouth at the thought Jeremy, whose family had owned it for generations, had always seen it as nothing but a millstone, while she had loved it. Unfortunately, after death duties had taken their toll, there wasn’t likely to be much money left to keep it up, she reflected pragmatically. But it would be a shame to have to sell it.

The quiet roads out of Manchester had once been so familiar to her, and now they brought the memories flooding back. She hadn’t been back to Hadley Park since the day she had walked away from the wreckage of her marriage.

It had been a tough decision at the time, to strike out on her own with a small child in tow—she’d had no family to back her, and no marketable skills that she’d known of to earn her living. But her marriage had been going wrong virtually from the beginning, and finding out that her husband was sleeping with her best friend had just been the last straw.

She had often wondered why he hadn’t married Saskia in the first place. He had known her long before he had met herself—in fact it had been Sass who introduced them. And if not then, why not later? He had known that she would have willingly given him a divorce if he had wanted one, without any fuss or scandal. But perhaps he had had enough sense to realise that any relationship needed one partner, at least, to have their feet somewhere near the ground—he and Sass were far too much alike, both wanting to flit through life without any cares or responsibilities.

Looking back now, she could only shake her head in sorry amazement that she had been such a fool as ever to believe that he was cut out for marriage. Her only excuse was that she had been young, and Jeremy had seemed able to offer her something from which she had felt excluded ever since her parents had died—a sense of family, of being part of a world of warmth and brightness and laughter, of belonging…

And it hadn’t all been a disaster, she mused reminiscently. There had been some happy times, especially at the beginning. And she had her son. A small smile curved her soft mouth. No, she couldn’t regret everything about her marriage.

A new set of traffic lights had been installed at the crossroads, and she drew the car to a halt, pulling on the handbrake and tucking her thick wheat-blonde hair back behind one ear in a characteristic gesture. She wore it now in a neat jaw-length bob; it had been one of the first things she had had done when she had decided to leave Jeremy—to have her hair cut. It had amused her since to learn that most women did exactly the same thing when they were asserting their independence for the first time.

And she was independent, she reflected with some pride. The modest little house in Whythenshaw that she had managed to buy last year might not be Hadley Park, but she owed not one penny to the Ratcliffes. It was quite a struggle to keep up with the hefty repayments on the mortgage, but she had known from the start that she wouldn’t be able to rely on any regular maintenance from Jeremy.

Besides, she preferred to manage alone, however difficult it was—Jeremy’s family had never made any secret of their belief that she had married him for his money, and it was good to be proving them wrong. And she had discovered shortly after leaving him that she did have a marketable talent after all—arranging children’s parties.

It had begun when she had put on a very small party for Jamie’s third birthday, to help him make new friends in the playgroup he had just joined. It had been such a success that one of the other mums, who worked full-time, had asked her to do her little girl’s birthday party as well. After that it had snowballed, and then she had been asked to do grown-up parties too—even weddings. She was kept very busy, but she loved every minute of it—who wouldn’t, being paid to help people enjoy themselves?

The traffic lights changed to green and she turned left, driving on carefully through the village. Little had changed here, at least, she mused—the post office had closed, its windows boarded up, and the old-fashioned grocery had adapted itself grudgingly to the supermarket era, but after the cosmopolitan bustle of Manchester it had the air of having been locked in a timewarp for the past three decades.

The high stone wall that surrounded Hadley Park started just beyond the edge of the village. The massive wrought-iron gates stood open—in fact it looked as if the hinges were too rusted to allow them to close, she noticed as she drove through. There were more weeds and pot-holes in the drive than there used to be, too.

And then through the trees she caught her first glimpse of the house, and slowed the car to get a better look. She had almost forgotten how beautiful it was, set against a backdrop of rolling green hills that led up to the high, rugged tors of the Peak District in the far misty distance. Built in the reign of the first Elizabeth, the golden stone of its walls had been mellowed by centuries, and its roof-line was a jumble of gables and twisted chimneypots against the crisp blue and white of the February sky.

Jamie glanced up from his game. “Oh, we’re there,” he remarked, with the philistine unconcern of a seven-year-old for the magnificent heritage which had now passed into his small hands. “Great—I’m starving!”

Maddy laughed, and, putting the elderly car in gear again, she rolled it forward, bringing it to a halt beside the wide stone steps that led up to the front door. Jamie, sure of his welcome, scrambled out, skipping up the steps as the door was opened by a matronly woman in a flowered cotton overall, who greeted him with a warm hug.

Maddy followed him a little more diffidently, glad of her leather shoulder-bag to clutch on to. But as she climbed the steps the housekeeper looked up, her kindly face wreathed in smiles. “Why, Mrs Ratcliffe! I wouldn’t hardly have known you with your hair short like that! Come in, come in.” She held the front door wide open, ushering Maddy inside. “Such a nasty shock it’s been…Oh—I’m sorry…” She stopped herself awkwardly, glancing at Jamie, her eyebrows lifted in unspoken enquiry.

“It’s all right, Mrs Harris—he knows,” Maddy assured her quietly. “Thank you—it must have been an awful shock for you too.” The housekeeper’s eyes were still noticeably red, and she was clutching a rolled-up clump of damp paper tissue in her hand; she had known Jeremy since he had been Jamie’s age.

“It was.” Mrs Harris dabbed at her eyes. “I still can’t quite make myself believe it—though I know there hasn’t been any mistake. Well, young man,” she added, turning to Jamie and pinning a bright smile in place. “Guess what I’m going to do you for lunch. Your favourite—Welsh rarebit. I didn’t know what time you might get down,” she told Maddy. “And what with all the upset…”

“Of course,” Maddy assured her quickly. “I wouldn’t want you to go to any trouble—Welsh rarebit will suit me fine.”

“Mum, can I go down to the kitchen with Auntie Peggy?” Jamie demanded eagerly. “I want to see Mrs Tiggywinkle’s kittens.”

“Oh, there’s only one left o’them now,” Mrs Harris told him. “The rest we found homes for.”

A frown of disappointment crossed the small face, but it quickly brightened. “Which one did you keep?” he asked. “Was it the black one?”

“Of course—he’s yours.”

That news brought immediate delight. “I’m going to call him Sooty. Daddy said—” He stopped abruptly, remembering. “Daddy said it was a good name,” he finished, the wistful note in his voice tugging at Maddy’s heartstrings.

“It’s an excellent name,” she assured him gently—though mentally noting that she would have appreciated it if Jeremy had consulted her before bestowing the gift on their son. “Why don’t you run downstairs and find him? I haven’t seen him yet, and I’d love to meet him.”

“I rather think,” a dry voice spoke behind her, “this is the animal you’re looking for.”

Maddy turned sharply, catching her breath. “Leo…Oh, hello,” she managed, struggling to recover before anyone should notice the slip in her composure. “I…wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

She found herself subjected to a mocking survey from a pair of deep-set agate eyes—the same colour as Jeremy’s, she couldn’t help remembering, but lacking his openness and warmth.

“Hello, Maddy—nice to see you again. It’s been a long time,” he remarked, pointedly failing to mention that since he had passed her on the road, and his car was parked outside, she could have reasonably assumed that he was in the house. “You’d better come into the library—we have things to discuss. Jamie, take this little pest downstairs where he belongs,” he added, un-hooking the tiny kitten’s claws from the front of his shirt and holding him out to the boy. “He doesn’t seem to understand that I haven’t come here exclusively to provide him with entertainment.”

Jamie gurgled with laughter, not at all intimidated. “Thanks, Uncle Leo. Sorry if he’s been bothering you. I’ll take him down to the kitchen and give him a saucer of milk.” He took the kitten with care. “Look, Mum—what do you think of him?” he added excitedly.

“He’s cute.” She tickled the little creature’s ear, and he rubbed his head against her finger before opening his tiny pink mouth in a wide yawn. “But I think he’s tired now. Take him down and give him his milk, and then put him down to sleep for a while.”

The child nodded solemnly, cradling his precious bundle in his arms as he bore it away.

“Two coffees, please, Peggy,” Leo requested as he stood aside for Maddy to enter the library.

She stepped past him, just a little too conscious of him for comfort; she had always been too conscious of him, but she would have thought that after all these years she would be better able to handle it. It was probably just that she was to some extent in shock, and hadn’t been expecting to see him here so soon.

She glanced around the comfortable room, taking in the details that had once been so familiar, noting the small changes. “The grandfather clock’s gone.”

“Well spotted,” Leo responded, a sardonic inflexion in his voice. “I’m afraid you’ll find that Jeremy’s sold off quite a number of trinkets over the years—I hope there was nothing of special importance to you?”

“Not particularly.” She forced herself to meet his eyes levelly. “I didn’t know Jeremy had financial problems.”

He shrugged his wide shoulders in casual disregard. “When didn’t he have financial problems?” he returned. ‘Annual income twenty pounds, annual expen-diture twenty pounds eight and six…’ I’m afraid my dear cousin had little idea of economy.”

Maddy smiled wryly; she knew that had been true enough. Moving across the room, she sat down in the armchair beside the large fireplace—rather disappointingly occupied by a two-bar electric fire, instead of the glowing real log fire it seemed to warrant.

From beneath her lashes she studied the man opposite her, noting the details and changes in him, too. She hadn’t seen him since she had left Jeremy, but the years didn’t seem to have had much effect on him. There was a strong family likeness between the two men—but whereas in Jeremy the chiselled structure of high forehead and hard jaw had been somewhat softened by an easygoing nature and a taste for the good life, in his older cousin there was an uncompromising masculinity that was more than a little unnerving.

She could still remember the first time she had met him, as vividly as if it had been only yesterday. It had been Saskia’s twenty-first birthday party, and she had announced just a few days previously that it was also to be her engagement party…

“Maddy! Oh, I’m so glad you could come!” Saskia’s soft blue eyes glowed with gratitude as she threw open the front door and reached out an impulsive hand to draw Maddy into the house. “It wouldn’t have seemed the same without you here.”

Maddy laughed, shaking her head. “Don’t be silly—you didn’t think I’d miss your party, did you?” She held out a small parcel, wrapped in pretty paper. “Happy birthday.”

“Oh, Maddy—you shouldn’t have!” Saskia protested. “And you struggling by with just your grant…!”

“I can manage to fork out for the odd pressy for my best friend,” Maddy assured her, indulgent of her friend’s over-sensitive concern—it was something she still hadn’t grown out of.

Occasionally, when they had been at school together, she had found Saskia’s tendency to make a drama out of almost any minor incident more than a little irritating. But she had been too grateful for her friendship to let it come between them; all the other girls had looked down their noses at her, knowing that she only had a place at the expensive private boarding-school because her aunt was the deputy headmistress. They had had a thousand subtle ways of letting her know that she didn’t belong, never failing to notice if she was wearing one of their cast-off pieces of school uniform, always talking about the ponies their doting parents had bought them, and later their cars.

“Ah, goody—you’ve brought your overnight bag,” Saskia cried excitably. “I’ll get Jepson to take it upstairs—Mummie’s put you in the room right next to mine. It’ll be such fun—just like rotten old Calderbrook, except without Miss Pikington stalking the corridors like something out of Alien!’

Maddy chuckled at the graphic simile. “Thank goodness for that! But I’ll take my bag up myself, if you’ll just tell me which room—I need to freshen up before I join the party.”

“Oh, of course—I’m sorry, I never thought of it.” Saskia looked stricken by such a lapse, but instantly brightened. “I’ll come up with you—I’m dying to catch up with all your news. How are you enjoying your teaching course?”

“It’s fun—especially the teaching practice. I had a class of six-year-olds this term—they really keep you on your toes!”

Saskia shuddered theatrically. “Ugh—rather you than me! Children aren’t my cup of tea, I’m afraid—the less I have to do with them, the better.”

Maddy glanced at her in surprise. “But surely you’re going to have some of your own when you get married?” she protested. “What about your fiancé? Doesn’t he want them?”

Saskia shook her head. “No, thank goodness!” They had reached the second floor, and a long, quiet corridor with a gleaming parquet floor. It must take ages to polish, Maddy mused—not that Saskia’s mother had to do it herself. Saskia threw open a door, showing Maddy into a spacious bedroom, beautifully furnished with reproduction antiques, with a thick-piled rose-pink carpet and matching velvet swags at the windows.

“The bathroom’s through there,” Saskia pointed out. “Is it OK?”

Maddy glanced around, her delicate mouth curving into a wry smile—it was about three times the size of the tiny little study-bedroom she had at college, and infinitely more elegant. “It’s fine,” she responded, barely suppressing the sardonic note in her voice.

Saskia bounced on the bed, as excited as a child. “Hurry up and get ready,” she urged. “I’m dying to introduce you to Leo.”

“Leo?” Maddy slanted her friend a teasing look. “It was all very quick, this engagement—how long have you known him?”

“Oh, ages! He’s practically family—by marriage, anyway. He’s been abroad for the past few years, though—he only came back at Christmas. So I grabbed him before he could get away again!” she added with a giggle.

“So what’s he like? Tell me all about him.”

“He’s in computers—he’s started up his own company,” Saskia told her, her eyes bright. “He’s fabulously rich—and he drives an Aston Martin!”

Maddy, brushing her long hair in the mirror, glanced past her own reflection to that of her friend. Saskia’s shallowness was something else she had grown to tolerate over the years, and she wasn’t really surprised to hear her describe someone in terms of his bank balance or the car he drove; but as criteria for choosing a husband they seemed to her to leave a lot to be desired. She was half inclined to feel a little sorry for the unknown Leo.

She looked back at her own reflection, wryly aware that beside the sensational moiré satin evening number Saskia was wearing her own simple black dress looked what it was—inexpensive, and several years old. But she so rarely wore an evening dress that it hadn’t seemed worth spending the money on a new one. Her only jewelry was the tiny gold locket her mother had left her, with miniature photographs of her parents inside.

At school, the differences between their backgrounds had never been quite so noticeable, she mused wistfully. It hadn’t been the money so much—though that had been the most obvious factor—but that Saskia had had a home, and a family—somewhere to belong. Maddy hadn’t had that since her parents had died—her Aunt Helen was her only family, the exclusive Calderbrook boarding-school her only home.

And, apart from the fact that they were both blonde, they were very different types. Saskia was a spring blonde, with baby-fine flaxen hair and a delicate, rosebud prettiness, while the image that gazed back at her showed rather stronger features—a chin that had learned to take life’s hard knocks, a nose that bordered on the aquiline, and eyes of a smoky grey. She was taller, too—though they probably still took the, same dress-size.

She gave her hair a last flick with the brush—she had grown it long because she couldn’t afford to keep having it cut, and it was now almost down to her waist—and turned to Saskia with a warm smile. “OK—I’m ready,” she announced breezily. “Lead on, Macduff!”

“Great!” exclaimed Saskia, skipping to her feet. “Come on, then.”

Together they descended the stairs to the ground floor. The sound of music and conversation drifted up to them before they reached it—more guests had arrived while they had been upstairs, it seemed. Maddy felt her stomach clench with tension; she had come for Saskia’s sake, but she knew she didn’t really belong in a gathering like this—as she had never belonged at school. She had always been the “charity girl”.

The house was large; the staircase descended in a sweep to an imposing entrance hall, with rooms opening on each side of it. As they reached the foot a devastatingly handsome young man in an immaculately cut dinner jacket that moulded an impressive breadth of shoulder stepped out from one of the rooms, and, catching sight of Saskia, immediately swept her up in a hug, lifting her off her feet and swinging her round.

“Sassy! The love of my life! You’re looking absolutely ravishing tonight—good enough to eat.”

Maddy watched, amused and somewhat relieved. She had been a little worried, hearing Saskia’s pragmatic description of her intended, that her friend had entered into this engagement for all the wrong reasons. But she was pleasantly surprised; no one could mistake the attraction between these two. It crossed her mind briefly that he seemed a little young for the high-powered businessman Saskia had described—but then computers was apparently a business for young whiz-kids, if the papers and television were to be believed.

Something made her sense that she was being watched, and she glanced across the hall. Another man had followed the first into the hall, and as she met his dark eyes an odd little shiver of recognition struck her, although she knew that she had never seen him before in her life—unless it had been in her dreams…But the next instant she realised why he had seemed so familiar—he looked so much like Saskia’s fiancé that he had to be his older brother.

The couple in the hall stopped spinning, laughing and breathless, and Saskia struck her fiancé a playful blow on the chest. “Wretch—you’ve made me giddy now. Anyway, I want you to meet my very best friend.”

Brown eyes, as mischievous and friendly as a puppy’s, smiled up at Maddy, and at once he let Saskia go, darting up the stairs. “Oh boy—you’re gorgeous!” he flattered outrageously. “Sass, you never told me your friend was so beautiful.”

Maddy blushed, laughing at his teasing—but a little wary, anxious not to appear to be giving him any inappropriate encouragement. She held out her hand, smiling up at him. “Hello—I’ve been looking forward to meeting you,” she said. “Saskia’s told me a lot about you.”

His dark eyebrows arched in surprise, and he chuckled richly. “Really? Not the truth, I hope, Sass? That’d ruin my chances before I’d even got started!”

Maddy flashed him a look of sharp discouragement, drawing her hand from his, but Saskia was laughing merrily. “Don’t be a loon, Jeremy—Maddy’s far too good for you.”

Maddy blinked at her in bewilderment. “Jeremy? But…I thought…”

“This is Leo.”

The other man had strolled forward, and Saskia linked her hands through his arm, holding on to him as if he was some kind of trophy. Maddy felt an odd sensation, like the twang of a loose guitar-string, way out of tune, deep in the pit of her stomach. But he was smiling up at her pleasantly, holding out his hand, and she put hers in it briefly.

“Hello, Maddy—I’ve heard a great deal about you,” he greeted her. “This young reprobate, for whom I have the misfortune to be frequently mistaken, is my cousin.”

It was easy to see how such a mistake could be made at a first glance—though not, Maddy concluded, at a second. Leo was older, though it was hard to tell by how much—five years, maybe? Both men were tall, though Leo had the advantage of maybe an inch or two—his shoulders were perhaps a little wider, too. They both had dark hair, almost black, but Jeremy wore his longer, curling around his ears—and he had the readier smile.

He was laughing now, flattered by his cousin’s epithet. “He’s got the brains, but I’ve got the charm,” he confided to Maddy. “Hey, you haven’t got a drink yet. Come on, stick with me, babe—I’ll take care of you.”

She allowed herself to be swept away, into the hubbub of the party. Jeremy found her a glass of champagne, and began introducing her to people. He seemed to know everyone there, and clearly he was extremely popular—with the men as well as the women. Held at his side by a casual arm around her waist, Maddy felt as if she had been caught up in the sparkling aura of a flashing comet.

It was a wonderful feeling, as intoxicating as the sweet, bubbly champagne she was sipping. Everyone wanted to know her, no one seemed to care about her shabby dress—in fact it almost began to seem as if it was she who was the most stylish, they who were overdressed. Jeremy’s laughter was infectious, and his outrageous compliments flattering enough to cause even the most solidly grounded common sense to waver.

As dusk descended the garden was lit up with brightly coloured paper lanterns, strung from the branches of the trees. A marquee had been set up on the lawn, and a local band was playing loud rock music for people to dance to. Breathless, Maddy let Jeremy spin her round in a wild jive, her long hair flying, as his friends cheered them on.

She had never enjoyed herself so much in her life. It had always seemed as if she was out of step; at school she had been the charity girl, in hand-me-down clothes, while ironically at college she had found that the manners and speech she had acquired at school tended to set her apart from her peers, who were inclined to regard her as a snob. But tonight she felt for the first time as if she was really accepted.

The only fly in the ointment was Saskia; catching sight of her hovering beside the French window that led into the house, Maddy was surprised to see a petulant expression marring that pretty face. A stab of guilt struck through her; it was Saskia’s engagement party, and here was she—Maddy—at the centre of attention. As soon as she could, she slipped away from Jeremy’s side and hurried over to her friend.

“Sassy—what’s wrong?” she asked gently. She glanced around. “Where’s Leo?”

Saskia shrugged her slim shoulders in a gesture of sulky indifference. “In Daddy’s den—he had an important call from New York.”

“Oh, what a pity—spoiling the party for him like that,” Maddy protested. “Still, I suppose he had to take it if it was really important.”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” Saskia asserted dismissively. “You seem to be enjoying yourself, anyway. Watch out for Jeremy, though—he’s a devil. If you’re not careful you’ll end up as just another name in his little black book.”

Maddy looked down at her friend in astonishment—surely that couldn’t be a note of jealousy she detected in her voice? But then Saskia sighed wistfully, tucking her hand confidingly into Maddy’s arm.

“I don’t seem to have had a chance to chat to you all evening,” she protested plaintively. “And it’s months since I’ve seen you.”

“Oh, Sassy—I’m sorry.” It was quite true, of course—it was Saskia who had invited her, and it had been selfish of her to go off with Jeremy all evening. “Come on, let’s go inside for a little while,” she coaxed. “It’s a little quieter in there.”

Saskia complied willingly enough, but within a few moments of them sitting down in the spacious drawing-room Jeremy came in search of them. “So this is where you’re hiding,” he declared, perching on the arm of the settee beside Maddy.