Loe raamatut: «Because Of You: A blazing hot cowboy romance»

To Mick, because I love you.

Chapter 1

Sunlight bounced off the white sheets and shone into her eyes. With a groan, Beth Copeland rolled over and covered her head with her pillow. God, her head hurt. It was way too early to be up. The mattress dipped beside her.

WTF?

She peeked out from under her pillow. Skin. A glorious expanse of golden skin greeted her eyes. It took her a moment of brazen observation before images of last night filtered through her mind.

Flashes of strobe lights and sweaty bodies gyrating on the dance floor swept through her hazy memory. And booze, lots and lots of booze. She groaned and covered her face back up with the pillow. No wonder she didn’t feel so hot. But there was still the matter of the expanse of skin lying next to her. She peeked again, this time following the trail of skin up towards the other pillow.

Her eyes swept across his face, taking in every glorious feature as she slowly moved her eyes upward.

Oh no. It couldn’t be.

Blue eyes pierced hers through his heavily lidded lashes.

She sat bolt upright, clutching the sheet to her bare breasts. She looked at the man lying next to her in horror. Sweet Jesus, he was naked!

‘You alright, Beth? You look like you’ve seen a pink cow.’ Mark Asher, the man who she’d had a crush on since forever, grinned up at her.

She opened her mouth but no sound came out. How could she have gone home with him? She looked down at her own nakedness flimsily covered in a sheet. How could she have done that with him? Oh my God, he was practically married.

He sat up, obviously not caring if his half of the sheet covered all his important bits. No matter how hard she tried not to look, her eyes kept straying to what should have been under the covers.

‘Like what you see, B? Instead of just looking, we could make use of it, you know.’ Mark grinned at her again, this time his smile full of the mischief she was used to on his face.

She clutched the sheet tighter against her breasts, ‘Not on your life, Mark, put that thing away.’ She deliberately averted her eyes and looked out the window at the trees in his back yard. ‘How did I end up here? Naked. In your bed?’

‘Don’t you remember, B?’ He reached out and tucked a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear, still not bothering to hike the sheet any higher. ‘Helga left with Ben, along with her keys. You were stuck at The Jackson and decided to hang out with me and the boys once all your friends left. One thing led to another and we ended up here’

‘We…um, never did…um,’ she said, waving her hand between them, ‘anything, did we?’

‘Trust me, B, if we had sex, you’d remember. We did get a little frisky, but you passed out and I’m not the sort of guy to take advantage of a friend.’

Beth turned back to face him. ‘What’s going on, Mark? Why am I here and not Kelsey? What are you playing at?’

‘Nothing,’ he said, letting out a long sigh. ‘You know as well as I do, B, Kelsey and I broke up weeks ago.’

‘But everyone thought you were getting married. You were dating forever.’ She squirmed. It was so uncomfortable sitting naked in the bed her friend Kelsey not long ago shared with the man lying next to her. She shifted closer to the edge and looked around for her clothes. It was well past time she’d left.

Mark reached out and touched her arm. ‘Hey, it’s alright,’ he said gently. ‘We never did anything last night. I promise.’

She looked into his eyes and trusted him. In all the years Beth knew Mark Asher, she never knew him to lie. At least not to her. He always, no matter how painful, told her the truth. She nodded. A tear slipped down her cheek. What had she done? How could she even be here with him? It didn’t matter that he’d broken up with Kelsey. Her friend was going to kill her…and with good reason. Even if they hadn’t done anything, she was still naked in his bed.

Beth had never breathed anything to anyone about how she felt about Mark, especially since Kelsey started dating him. But ever since the first day her brother Ben had dragged Mark home with him when they were kids, she was lost. Lightning struck and from then on she was ruined for anyone else. Sure she’d dated, but no one could live up to her brother’s best friend. Having him lying next to her, naked, was more than anything she could have ever hoped for…him being her friend’s ex was a nightmare.

She checked the room again, this time not caring if he actually noticed what she was doing. Where were her clothes? Surely she didn’t leave them behind at the bar. She desperately tried to recall what happened after they arrived at Mark’s but her mind stubbornly stayed blank.

‘Hang on, B, I’ll get your clothes for you.’ Mark seemed to read her mind. He hopped out of bed and went out into the hallway, not bothering to pull on some pants before he walked across the room. Beth’s eyes were glued to his backside; she couldn’t look away even if she tried.

He came back into the room with her clothes from last night in his arms. He dumped them on the bed. ‘They stink,’ he said, wrinkling his nose. ‘Did you bathe in bourbon last night or something?’

The stench reached her nose and a wave of nausea swept through her and she had to breathe through her mouth and swallow several times before she trusted herself enough to say anything. ‘Take them away,’ she gasped. It did smell as though she had taken a bath in bourbon…and rye and tequila. Oh God, she was going to be sick. She struggled to untangle the sheets from around her legs while trying to stand up at the same time. She needed to get to the bathroom – fast. The sheets refused to let go and she fell across the floor in a heap. Of course they decided to unravel at that moment and leave her naked and exposed on the floor.

Mark grabbed the offending clothes, chucked them back into the hallway. ‘I guess now we know why we left them out there. You can borrow some of mine,’ he said as he reached down and pulled her to her feet.

The shock of his bare skin touching hers sank the contents of her stomach back down where they belonged.

Chapter 2

Her skin felt like silk.

Mark slowly slid his hands down her arms. The soft hairs sprung up at his touch. He circled her wrist and drew her a step closer, her feet still tangled in the sheet on the ground, making her stumble slightly against him. Her bare breasts brushed against his chest. Heat rushed through him until he couldn’t resist any longer. He lowered his head down to hers until his lips were a fraction away from her mouth.

He wasn’t sure if the moan he heard came from her lips or his. He didn’t stop to find out. He couldn’t arrest his descent. He’d waited a lifetime for this moment. He tangled his hands in her hair and tugged her the last few inches towards him.

Her lips were soft and welcoming. Her mouth opened for him on a gasp. Desire consumed him, making him lightheaded and single-minded. His hands roamed her back and across her shoulders. He caressed her skin everywhere he could reach. Reality was far better than the fantasies he’d had about her all these years.

Mark stepped closer until Beth was completely pressed against him, hip to chest. He shuffled her backwards until her legs bumped against the bed. Slowly he lowered her down to the mattress, his lips remaining locked on hers the entire time.

She reached up for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down on top of her. Pleasure rushed through him at the evidence of her wanting him. This was the moment he’d only dreamed of. There was no longer any room for second guesses or regrets.

Mark slowly trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, savouring every moment. She writhed beneath him as his lips slipped closer to her exposed nipples but he wasn’t going to rush, no matter how much his body screamed at him to enter her.

With reverence, he skimmed his hands over the muscles of her stomach. Her skin rippled with his touch. He remembered from their childhood that she was ticklish. He lightly kissed her ribs. She jerked beneath him and laughed breathlessly.

‘Mark!’

‘Sorry,’ he whispered against her breast and drew a nipple into his mouth. She cried out and arched her back, her laughter gone. Her hands clutched at him and pulled him tighter against her. Her body was hot beneath his lips as he rolled her nipple with his tongue.

He reached down to her hot centre. He flicked her bud with his thumb and she shivered beneath him. His erection grew and he moved his lips to her other breast.

‘Mark!’ she gasped on an indrawn breath as her hips arched into his hand.

He released her nipple and brought his mouth back up to hers, kissing her fiercely.

‘Beth, I need you,’ he whispered against her lips, ‘Now.’ He couldn’t wait any longer.

‘Hurry,’ she moaned, clutching at his shoulders.

She didn’t need to ask him twice. He positioned himself and slid into her with one thrust. Pleasure rushed through him with each stroke. He had never experienced ecstasy anything like this before. He gritted his teeth, trying to stay the inevitable. Beth’s muscles contracted around him seconds before she fell apart. He thrust once more and with a starburst behind his eyes, he collapsed on top of her.

***

Mark was heavy lying on top of her but she revelled in the weight. Her heart felt as though it was finally home. She breathed in the scent of his skin. He smelled of last night, man and sex. A small smile graced her lips.

He lifted his head and looked at her for a moment before he smiled, kissed her lips and then rolled off her, bringing her with him until she was snuggled against his chest.

Beth couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. Pleasure still hummed through every vein of her body but every muscle was slack and listless. Mark was warm and comfortable against her back. In moments her eyelids drooped and sleep claimed her.

The sun was higher in the sky when she opened her eyes again. The bed beside her was empty but still warm. She could hear water running in the en suite. Mark must be in the shower. She felt so much better now that she’d had a good sleep.

There was no clock in Mark’s room. She didn’t have a clue how he managed to wake up in time for work every day without an alarm, but she’d never heard of him being late.

Beth pulled on one of Mark’s shirts and her underwear she found on the floor next to the bed. She cautiously approached her booze-contaminated clothes in the hall and fished her cell phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

Jeez, it was lunchtime already. Her phone beeped with a text from Ben.

Rough night last night?

She smiled. Trust Ben to find the humour in any situation. She typed fast and chuckled as she sent her reply.

Helga took car keys home, had to catch a ride. At Mark’s…don’t tell Mom!

She knew Ben would laugh at the mention of Mom. It was a running family joke. When they were kids they always said ‘don’t tell Mom’ whenever they were doing something they shouldn’t be.

She was just about to turn her phone off and find some pants in Mark’s closet when her phone beeped again. Ben wasn’t the only one trying to get hold of her. There were twelve messages waiting for her. She opened the message folder.

Ice rushed through her veins when she saw the message.

I think Mark went home with someone last night! His phone is off.

Beth stared at the message in horror.

Can you come over?

Oh God, how could she have forgotten about Kelsey?

Chapter 3

Mark was just getting out of the shower when he heard Beth rummaging around in his room. He could hear his drawers being pulled out of the dresser and the screech of metal hangers being dragged across the bar in his closet. What the hell…?

He wrapped a towel around his hips and stepped into his bedroom. Beth was pulling up a pair of his sweatpants and trying to shove her feet into her cowboy boots at the same time.

He grabbed her arm to steady her before she fell over. The panic in her eyes made him take a step back.

‘Are you alright, B? What’s happened?’

‘Sorry, Mark, I’ve got to go,’ she said, bending down to tug on the tabs of her boots. ‘My clothes stink. You said I could borrow some of yours? I’ll wash them and give them back.’

The happiness he’d felt when he woke up with her in his arms faded. She wouldn’t even look him in the eye.

‘Beth, what’s wrong?’

She slowly raised her eyes to his. His heart stopped with the look she gave him.

‘I can’t stay.’

‘I can see that.’ It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure she wanted to leave. ‘But why? What’s happened?’

‘Kelsey sent me a text.’

Shit.

‘She was your girlfriend only a month ago, Mark, and she’s one of my friends. What we did this morning was so wrong on so many levels. If she ever finds out…I just can’t do this to her.’ She shook her head, the panic in her eyes no less intense than it was when he came into the room.

He let go of her arm and ran his hand through his wet hair. ‘Yes, but that was true a few minutes ago as well. It didn’t seem to bother you while you were sleeping in my arms. Why the rush to leave now?’

Beth tossed her hair over her shoulder in a move he’s never seen her do before. The fight went out of her and she deflated before him. ‘She knows you went home with someone,’ she whispered. ‘How am I going to tell her that it was me? She’ll be heartbroken.’ She started walking down the hall toward the door. In a moment she’d be gone.

‘How is she going to know it was you?’ he called after her but she’d already gone out the door. His feet wouldn’t listen as his mind screamed at him to chase after her and he stood there rooted to the hardwood floor as she walked out of his life.

This morning he’d thought all his Christmases had come at once, but now he knew he had an even harder battle to convince her that they belonged together. And how the hell was he going to do that?

***

Beth pulled her truck up in front of Kelsey’s small house. She could have walked from Mark’s; it was just around the corner, but she had the feeling she might need to have a quick get-away so she went over to The Jackson to pick up her truck first, digging her spare keys out of the junk…glove box. She sat in her truck for a moment trying to gather her courage for what she knew she must say.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, knowing if she was going to do this, she had to do it now. Not wanting to put off the inevitable any longer, Beth ran up the steps and knocked on her friend’s front door.

Beth had always liked Kelsey’s house. The dark-green front door welcomed you up onto her tiny porch and the butter-yellow siding made the white trim of her windows pop. The rustic WELCOME sign on the door above the brass knocker and the two wicker chairs on the porch completed the look.

Beth only had to wait a moment on the front step before Kelsey opened the door. Beth took a step back in shock. Not even when Kelsey and Mark broke up, did she look this bad. Her face was puffy and pale from crying. Tear tracks stained her cheeks and her eyes were red and almost swollen shut. She clutched bunched-up tissues in both of her hands. Her nose was red and raw looking.

‘Can I come in?’ Beth asked hesitantly.

Kelsey didn’t reply but opened the door wider before turning and walking away from her back down the hall towards the kitchen.

The inside of the house was just as pretty as the outside. The cream-coloured walls of the hall showed off the pictures Kelsey had hung. Each room off the hallway had different tones of yellow on the walls, making each one unique but still connected with the rest of the house.

Beth followed Kelsey into the kitchen and cautiously sat down at the table.

‘Want some coffee?’ Kelsey asked. Her voice was flat and defeated, like she’d given up on life. It scared Beth and made her feel even worse than she already did.

‘Look, Kelsey, there’s something I need to tell you,’ she began, ‘It’s about last night.’

‘I already know.’ Kelsey’s tonelessly replied. ‘Mark went home with that bitch Helga Hansen. Don’t think that I don’t know you tried to hide her identity from everyone. People are so dumb in this town. I can’t believe they fell for your lies about her name being Jane Whatever. So what if her hair was in those stupid little ponytails and her eyes were overly enlarged by makeup. I knew it was her as soon as you two walked in together…But I got my own back, don’t you worry.’

‘Um, Kelsey, that’s not why I’m here. It’s about Mark, not some movie star that may or may not be in town.’ Inside Beth was trying to stay calm. The mention of Helga had thrown her and she would love to tell Kelsey how lovely her new room-mate was but that wasn’t why she was here and Helga’s one stipulation to staying at Beth’s Country Home was that no one was to know where she was staying.

‘I went home with Mark.’ Shit. She didn’t mean to blurt it out quite like that.

Kelsey’s face froze in a look of disgust and shock. ‘You?!’

‘The girls I came with left without me and I had no way of getting home and I couldn’t drive, could I? I drank way too much. A lot of the night, I can only vaguely recall. Mark took me to his house and looked after me. I was pretty sick this morning,’ Beth continued with a blush as she remembered the state she was in when she woke up. There was no way she was telling Kelsey she was naked in Mark’s bed. ‘I’ve been there all morning.

‘I know how you feel about him, Kelsey, and I’m really sorry but I had nowhere else to go…and he is still a friend of mine, not to mention Ben’s best friend.’

‘It was you? Not Helga?’ Kelsey still looked at Beth with shock, but the disgust on her face was now gone.

‘It was me.’

Beth looked down at her hands while Kelsey poured them both some fresh coffee. The look on Kelsey’s face had changed to joy. Beth couldn’t bring herself to look at.

‘I’m so happy you came over,’ Kelsey said, handing her a steaming cup. ‘I was up all night thinking that he’d taken that…girl home with him and had sex with her. I couldn’t handle it, you know? Imagining him entwined with someone else was torture but now that I know it was only you, well, it’s all okay. I think we could get back together, you know? If I could just find out what the problem was, I could change. I could do that, you know? It wouldn’t be too hard. I just don’t know what went wrong. Do you think that he doesn’t like brunettes? Maybe I could dye my hair. He always said yours caught the sunlight so nicely. What do you think? Could I pull off a blonde?’

Kelsey plopped herself in the chair opposite Beth and tossed her brown hair over her shoulder.

The breath seemed to be stuck in Beth’s throat. How was she going to tell Kelsey what really happened this morning now? Her heart had leapt with joy when Kelsey mentioned Mark noticed her hair. How could she feel this elated about something like that while sitting across from his ex-girlfriend who was clearly still in love with him? What horrible kind of friend did that make her?

‘I…um…don’t think your hair colour is the problem, Kels, Mark’s not that shallow. And I’m not sure you should change, just to make him happy. You wouldn’t be happy then. I think the best thing to do is to let him go.’ Beth inwardly cringed as Kelsey’s smile fell from her face. ‘I want you to be happy. Show him how wonderful you are. Stop trying to please him. He’s a man. He’ll only take advantage of that.’

Fat tears escaped Kelsey’s eyes and tumbled down her pale cheeks. ‘But how am I supposed to live without him, Beth? It feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I can’t carry on like this. It’s too painful.’

‘Oh, Kelsey,’ Beth reached across the table and squeezed Kelsey’s hand, hating herself more every second. ‘Don’t do anything rash, please. He’s not worth it.’

‘I’m not going to kill myself if that’s what you mean.’ Kelsey snapped back at her. ‘I wouldn’t do that to everyone.’ Kelsey’s shoulders drooped again and she swiped her arm across her face, smearing snot and tears on her cheek. ‘I thought we were going to get married. When Mark said he wanted to talk to me about something, never in my wildest nightmares did I think he was going to break up with me. I even went out and bought myself a new dress. I thought he was going to pop the question. How pathetic am I?’

‘Oh God,’ Beth moaned, putting her face in her hands. This couldn’t be happening. ‘I’m so sorry, Kelsey. Nobody saw it coming. We all thought you guys were for ever too.’

‘Then what happened, Beth? What happened to us? One minute he was asking me what hockey team he should support and the next minute he said we couldn’t stay together anymore. I just don’t know what went wrong.’

Beth lifted her head from her hands and looked at Kelsey in confusion. ‘What do you mean he asked you what team he should support? He’s a huge Flames fan.’

‘Yeah, I know but he kept asking what team we should get behind. I said I’d support whatever team he wanted to and that I would get us season tickets and all that.’

‘But you like the Oilers.’

‘Yes, I know, but I thought it would just be easier if we both supported the same team. Besides, he’s a Flames fan, I should at least like the same team as him, right?’

‘No, Kels, you shouldn’t. Don’t you see what he was doing?’

‘Trying to pick what team to support. That’s what I’ve been telling you.’

‘No, honey, that’s not it.’ She reached out to Kelsey again, ‘He was trying to get you to make a stand for what you believe in. Don’t you see? By trying to always please him, you were kinda smothering him. He needs someone who can be their own person.’

Kelsey pulled away from her. ‘What, so you’re an expert on Mark now? You don’t think we belong together, is that it? Are you on his side? Jesus, Beth, I thought you were my friend.’ Kelsey got up from the table and left the room. ‘You can leave anytime you want,’ she shouted from down the hall. It was clear from her tone it wasn’t an invitation to stay and make herself at home.

Beth got up from the table and went to Kelsey’s room where she knew she’d be hiding. She didn’t try to go in but spoke through the closed door. ‘That’s not what I meant, Kels. I honestly thought you two were going to get married one day. It’s just that I know Mark. He loves hockey. He wouldn’t be able to understand how you couldn’t support the team you love just because he likes the other team. He’s a man, you have to remember their brains don’t work like ours. I’m sorry I upset you. I’ll show myself out. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?’ Beth couldn’t wait to get out of Kelsey’s house. Her head hurt and her heart felt like it was slowly breaking. She could actually feel its pieces falling into her stomach.

She slowly walked to her truck where once inside she sat for a few minutes with her head resting on the steering wheel. She still hadn’t told Kelsey what really happened at Mark’s today. How was she going to be able to find the words for that? And how was their friendship going to survive that revelation? If Kelsey ran away and hid from her when she thought Beth was ‘on his side’, how was she going to react when Beth told her they’d had sex this morning?