Loe raamatut: «The Songbird and the Soldier»

Chapter 1

Sergeant Andrew Garrington was in control: his house was in order, his shirts were crisp and his career was on track, so the fact that he had caught on to his men’s misplaced notion of finding him some new witless woman to pander to didn’t bother him unduly. He played with his beer mat as he listened to the men chat. His attention was caught by a rowdy set entering through the front of the bar and disappearing out of the back.

Corporal Dean Fletcher scanned the room for female life and Spike spotted him. “Uh-oh, Romeo’s on high alert.”

Dean looked back and grinned.

“Well, found anything?”

“No.”

“Aren’t we meant to be finding a bird for the Prof?” Miller asked.

Andy twitched an eyebrow. “Oh no you don’t.”

“Come on, Prof. You’ve been single for far too long now. You need to get yourself a woman,” Spike said.

“I seem to be managing quite well by myself, thanks.”

“But you need a good woman.”

“Oh, a good woman, well why didn’t you say so? No.”

“Andy, think about it. You need someone to keep you sane while we’re out there. Remember last time? It’s no good if you’ve got no one to drag you back up again when shit’s going down,” said Miller shaking his head.

Claire had walked out before his last tour in Afghanistan. Andy remembered. It had been hard, but he had got through it on his own. He was a stronger man now than he had been then, a better soldier. He had learned in that time that women and relationships were generally disappointing. They were too needy to fit into his lifestyle.

“One day you’ll meet a girl who really gets under your skin and it’ll completely poleaxe you. You might even find yourself getting…” Miller held up his hands to make parenthesis in the air, “emotionally involved.”

The guys laughed. Dean’s laugh was the loudest. “The Prof? You’ve got to be kidding. I’ve seen more emotion in a potato.”

“Whereas you seem to fall head over heels in love with each and every one of them,” Andy replied.

“Absolutely.”

“For about five minutes.”

“Seems long enough to me!”

Spike patted Dean on the back and Andy left the table, rolling his eyes. He approached the bar. Leaning forward, he raised his hand to get the bargirl’s attention. She looked across at him while pulling a pint. She smiled and then raised her eyebrows in question.

“Hi, sorry,” he called, “um… which way to the… er-?”

“Down the corridor and on your right,” she called back, trying to make herself heard over the general hubbub of a busy Saturday night. Briefly she watched him walk away and then returned her attention to the matter in hand.

Andy made his way through the crowd and out into the relative peace of the corridor. Along the walls, small shaded lights lit up old photos of the pub as it had been in years gone by. Wooden panelling hung heavily on either side of him and the dusty stone floor beneath his feet echoed as he walked. Near the end of the corridor he could hear the muted sound of voices chanting. The noise grew louder and louder as he neared the back room and then a cheer went up and he could hear people clapping. Two girls came bustling out of the room, passed him and went off to the right, sending a wave of light and sound crashing around him. They disappeared into the toilets and the door to the back room swung slowly closed again.

As the bright light began to fade, Andy could hear a beautiful voice begin to sing a soft, haunting melody. It was unlike anything he’d heard in a pub before. The song wreathed itself around him, made him stop in his tracks for a moment and listen. He checked for anyone who might notice and then caught the edge of the door with his hand and peered inside.

The room was alive with colour. Banners and balloons hung all around the walls. As he watched, Andy noticed that everything inside the room was now still. Only the girl singing on the far side of the room moved. She was swaying slowly in time with the music, the microphone in one hand and the other reaching out with the grace of an angel. Andy was captivated.

Her hair was brown and waved gently downwards below her shoulders, restrained only by one satin flower tucked in behind her ear. She was wearing patterned blue jeans and a sea-green top that looped up and around her neck leaving the pale skin of her shoulders quite bare. She was neither fat nor thin; in fact her body seemed to flow effortlessly from one supple curve into another. He leaned against the doorframe and watched and listened as she sang. He couldn’t say what the song was about, or who had originally sung it, but one line swam repeatedly through his head: ‘Until you’re resting here with me.’ His pulse quickened. She was beautiful. And then in a moment of wondrous clarity, he realised that it was her. It had to be. The girl he had kept close to his heart for the past six years. The girl who had kept him going whenever anything went bad in his life. It was Sam.

Andy felt his heart race as the years fell away. His mouth went dry and his brain refused to think clearly. It had to be her. Of course she wasn’t exactly the same, but it was still her, wasn’t it? The two girls emerged from the toilets and pushed past, back into the room, their loud chatter and giggles jarring him.

Andy seized the moment and reached out to them. He caught one of them by the shoulder. “Excuse me. Who is that girl?” he asked, pointing to the singer.

The two girls gave each other a look and giggled some more, but quieter now. “The girl who’s singing?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“That’s Sam: Samantha Litton. Do you know her?”

Andy shook his head slowly and the girls walked away giggling together. As he watched, heads began to turn and look round at him as they realised someone was there who wasn’t meant to be there. He started to feel self-conscious, but then Sam finished and everyone clapped and turned back again. Sam re-joined her group and smiled bashfully at the things people were saying to her, until somebody whispered in her ear and pointed him out. She turned and looked directly at him.

Sam felt herself blush.

“Well go on then,” Kate said. “He’s gorgeous.”

Sam looked across at Chloe. “It’s your birthday, Chlo’. He’s probably here to see you.”

“I don’t recognise him,” Chloe said.

Kate rolled her eyes. “Oh you’re bloody hopeless, you are. Look, if you don’t get your butt over there and at least talk to the guy in the next thirty seconds I’m going to leap over there and nab him for myself,” she said, hitching up the side of her cerise strapless top.

Sam was relieved. “Okay.”

“No it’s not okay, ’cause it’s you he’s drooling over, not me. Now get yourself over there and snog his face off!” She poked Sam hard in the ribs.

Sam jumped and turned to stare daggers at her friend, but Kate was just as determined. Sam hesitated and looked down at the glass of wine in her hand.

“Just talk to him, Sam. He won’t bite.”

Sam took a deep breath and stood up. A rousing chorus of whoops went up from her group of friends as she slowly made her way around the tables and across the room in the direction of the handsome stranger.

Andy stood up tall in the doorway and tried very hard to breathe. His mind was racing, searching for what he was going to say. He looked down at the floor and shifted his weight. He fidgeted with his clothing and then looked up again. She was almost at the door.

“Hello,” she said. “Are you here for the party?”

Andy felt a firm slap on his back.

“So this is where you’ve got to. We thought you’d gone AWOL.” Dean had come looking for him. The next singer took the microphone and Dean moved round to Andy’s side. “Shit, what is that wailing?” Dean noticed the girl standing in front of them. “Oh, excuse me. Hello, gorgeous.”

Sam smiled politely and turned back to Andy. “Are you one of Chloe’s friends?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” Dean continued, “whoever she is.”

Andy’s head was spinning. Somewhere along the line he had lost the ability to connect with women on anything more than a superficial level and mostly that was the way he liked it. But this was different, this actually mattered. The angel, who had come to mean so much to him in the years since they’d last met, was standing before him again, only now, he was a shadow of the boy he had once been.

Dean’s eyes were all over her, drinking her in and it twisted a knife in Andy’s side just to see it.

“No,” Andy managed, “I was just listening-”

“You deserted your mates to listen to this?” Dean said, obviously appalled.

Andy stiffened in irritation. He looked at Sam, desperately hoping she would understand what he was thinking. She had to know that he was not like Dean, a brash lad who acted so loudly and unrefined. He studied her, trying to work out how to speak to her without frightening her off, or looking a complete fool in front of one of the guys. Her beautiful brown eyes melted him. They had a shy curiosity that made her look so utterly vulnerable. Her skin was flawless, her expressions were enchanting and her lips were… were… tantalising.

Sam’s brow twitched and she turned to walk away.

“Don’t go,” Dean suddenly called out. “You can’t just leave us here.”

Sam turned round and raised an eyebrow.

What was Dean playing at? Andy didn’t understand. Hadn’t he already annoyed the girl enough, ruining his chance of being with her again? He needed to speak up, fight for what should be his. He couldn’t let her slip away. He looked across and saw the friends she was sitting with. Maybe she’d changed. Maybe she wasn’t the same girl he remembered from back then, back when he was first starting out.

“We could get back to the bar to find the others have already gone and we’d be left on our own,” Dean said.

“You’re big boys,” Sam replied. “I’m sure you’ll cope.”

“I can beg,” Dean dropped down on one knee, “loudly.” Others in the room began to look around.

Sam walked back over, embarrassed. “Get up, you daft fool.”

Dean stood up. He turned to Andy. “Did she just call me a fool?”

Andy wasn’t sure what was going on, but at least the girl was still with them. He nodded. “I think so.”

“And us about to risk life and limb to defend our country. All we ask is a little respect.”

Sam looked uneasy. She glanced from one to the other. “Are you soldiers?”

“Corporal Dean Fletcher at your service, Ma’am.” Andy watched as Dean turned on his most charming smile.

A light went on behind Sam’s eyes. “Dean Fletcher? I didn’t recognise you.” She looked back at her group and then back to the lads. “We went to school together. You’re Kate’s next door neighbour, aren’t you? Your parents, I mean.”

“Katy? Yeah, you know her?” Now it was Dean who seemed a little unsure.

“Of course. She’s my best friend. I’m sorry. You just look so different… in a good way.”

Dean beamed and Andy’s heart raged. He had lost her. One moment of recognition and he had simply faded into the shadows.

“Well you should be sorry, especially for treating a guy as coldly as that.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Well, I’ll forgive you, perhaps… for a kiss.” He held out a cheek.

Smooth. Very smooth, Andy thought, resenting every syllable Dean spoke. He realised he had been out-classed. He, on the other hand, was rusty. But she wouldn’t actually fall for it, would she?

Sam hesitated for a moment. “I don’t think so. I know about you lot. A girl in every port, isn’t it?”

Dean clutched his chest. “I’m hurt.” He turned to Andy. “She’s vicious, this one.”

A blonde girl approached Sam from behind. “Hello, Dean. Are you harassing my friend? And that’s sailors, Sam, not… well… actually-”

“-Katy. A pleasure, as always.” An uncomfortable tension prickled between the pair of them.

“Come on,” Kate said, urging Sam back to her friends.

“A date then?” Dean called. “Dinner? A drink, just a drink?” Sam stopped and turned back toward Dean. “Give me your number. Come on, you know you’re tempted. Come on… for me?”

Sam sighed and, smiling, she walked back up to him. Dean whipped out a pen and rummaged for a piece of paper. Sam took the pen and wrote her number down on his hand.

“I’ll call you,” he said.

“No you won’t” Sam told him.

“I will. You’ll see.” Sam walked away with her friend, deep in conversation. “Goodbye, Gorgeous,” he called and then slapped Andy on the back and walked back into the corridor. “Come on, Prof, the guys are waiting.”

Sam retook her seat to a round of applause.

“Well?” Chloe said. “What was he like?”

“Gorgeous,” Kate said, “But Doofus here was too busy being chatted-up by Dean Fletcher, my pillock of a next door neighbour.”

Sam blushed. “But he’s lovely.”

“He’s an arsehole, Sam. You’ve just never seen past his twinkling blue eyes, that’s all.”

“I didn’t recognise him. He’s… fitter. And taller, and he’s got a bit of a tan.” Sam sighed.

Kate stuck two fingers down her throat. “Yes, well maybe he has got better looking with time, but it’s still… him.”

Andy followed Dean back up the corridor and the door to the back room shut behind him. They took some stick from the rest of the lads about how long they’d been. Dean took out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket and scribbled down the number next to the word ‘brunette’, and then he licked the back of his hand and rubbed hard to erase all sign of the phone number Sam had written there. The lads sighed in groans of understanding and he popped it away back in his pocket and grinned. The last of their pints were emptied and they filed outside in happy union, in search of the next drink of the night.

Outside it was dark. Plumes of mist sprang from their mouths as they walked down the back road to the King’s Head. In the streets not far away, Andy could hear people laughing and calling, their voices punctuated only by the echo of their footsteps from the quiet, cobbled lane.

Andy thought about how casually Dean had treated Sam. As soon as he had her number he seemed to lose all interest. He quickened his step to walk alongside him. “So are you going to ring that girl?” he asked, trying to sound as indifferent as possible.

“Yeah, I might.”

“But I thought you were seeing Sophia?”

“Soph? Right, yeah… and Jules.”

“Jules?”

“Yeah. Nice girl. Met her a few weeks ago at Hacker’s bird’s do.” He opened the pub door and gesticulated. “Great tits.”

Andy shook his head. “I don’t know how you keep up with them all,” he said.

“It’s a gift. You’ve either got it, or you haven’t.” Dean looked around and beamed. He searched among his friends for the one he was looking for. “Right, Smithy, it’s your round, I believe. Get ’em in, boy.” He turned around to look for a place to sit. “Shit.” He tried to hide his face.

A girl walked across, dressed up to the nines and not looking at all pleased. “Soph. I didn’t know you were going to be out tonight?”

The group around them quietened, waiting to see how Dean was going to handle the situation.

The girl raised her eyebrows. “Well you wouldn’t, would you?”

“Ah, you know how it is. We haven’t had much time off recently, have we lads?”

A general murmur of agreement went round.

“You could have rung. You didn’t even answer any of my texts. I was beginning to think you’d gone out already.”

“And miss seeing you again? Never.” He pulled her toward him and kissed her full on the lips. The girl struggled for a moment, pushing him away with the palms of her hands and then all was forgiven. The odd cheer went up, but mostly it was a resigned sigh.

He’d done it again, thought Andy and his mind went back to Sam. What a stark contrast there was between her and the girl currently being won over by Dean. That delicate songbird had been far more sensual, naturally beautiful, without all the glitz and war paint that this girl was wearing. He cursed his timing and lack of faith. She had seemed just the same as the last time they’d met, but what could he do about that now? If only she had seen him a few minutes earlier, or Dean had found them a few minutes later and given them the chance to actually speak before Romeo had got his claws into her, then maybe he could have been the one with her phone number in his pocket right now. Some guys just didn’t appreciate what they had. But that’s how it was with Dean. No matter how badly he treated them, he was always lucky with women. Still, all was not lost. He would find a way. He had to. Andy knew how she could be traced and Dean had her phone number. All he had to do now was be patient. He had no doubt Dean would mess it up soon enough and then he would make his move. But what if he didn’t? What if Dean actually realised how wonderful she was? And did he have the time to wait? But first things first. Sam hadn’t recognised him.

Andy thought about Sam more and more over the following weeks. She possessed him, invading his mind and tormenting him every time he was alone. Dean never spoke of her in the mess with the lads, although his other women came up again and again, so Andy made the decision to break cover and to do some recce for himself.

“Did you ever call that brunette from the pub?” he asked, when they happened to meet whilst walking into barracks early one morning.

“Which one was that?”

“You know, the one who was singing. When we hit the pubs the other week. Sam, was it?”

“Oh, Sam. Yeah.”

“And?”

“What?”

“What’s she like?”

Dean turned a curious expression on him. “Okay. Why do you wanna know?”

“No reason. She just didn’t seem your type, that’s all.”

Dean let out a big breath. “Yeah? You may be right. She’s a schoolteacher. Not a vision I’ve ever fantasised about myself, a bit of an ice maiden actually. But I’ll give it a bit longer before I knock it on the head. Why, do you want her?” They showed their passes and walked in through the gate. “You two would go well together, thinking about it. You’re both as dull as each other.” Andy went to cuff Dean around the head, but he ducked and punched him back in the ribs, chuckled and jogged off to find the rest of the lads.

It was her. It had to be. He remembered Sam had told him she was just about to go off to train as a teacher. It had been the summer after her A-levels, when he had just finished university. He remembered how he must have looked different then: not as much meat on his bones and longer hair. They were both on holiday with their friends in Tenerife and he had spotted her one day in a café not far from their apartment. She had been sneaking bits of food into her napkin. Andy had wondered what she was doing, until he saw her later outside their complex, feeding a frail-looking dog. That’s when he met her. He watched her tenderly gaining the poor dog’s trust and feeding it the scraps from her plate, then a sudden sound had made it skit away and he emerged from where he had been watching and started talking to her. They spent the rest of the night together, first chatting around the pool, and then later in the evening they met up again at the party put on by the owners of the complex. They had talked until dawn, when they had, he thought, reluctantly parted, with the most amazing kiss he had ever experienced. They arranged to meet up later that day to spend the last of their time together before his flight left that evening. And that was the last he had seen of her.

When she didn’t turn up, he searched all over, but with no luck. While checking out of the hotel, he was given a scrap of paper with a note written on it explaining that she had had to dash off to hospital with her friend and wishing him a safe journey. Nothing since had come close to that night.

Andy tried to get more from Dean on a couple of occasions, but only succeeded in reigniting Dean’s attention to his love life. “We’ve got to get you a woman of your own, Prof,” he said one day. “Leave it with me,” he winked and, giving the other lads a grin, slipped out to make a phone call.

A couple of days later he revealed that he had planned a blind (on Andy’s part) double date.

Andy sighed. “Not a chance.”

“Oh go on Sarge,” the lads called out.

“Absolutely not. No way. Like I’d let you set me up on a blind date, especially with you there to laugh at me.

Dean held up his hands. “Okay. I’ll tell Sam it’s off then, shall I?”

Andy looked at Dean. “It’s one of Sam’s friends?”

“Yeah.”

“So it’ll be you, me, Sam and…”

“Her friend, yeah.”

Andy rapidly weighed up the opportunity of seeing Sam again and spending time with her, despite Dean’s presence, against the likelihood of being stuck making small talk with the ugly friend. He decided it was worth it. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

The day of the double date arrived, several weeks later in the end. It was the lads’ last night of freedom before heading off on pre-deployment training. Dean and Andy arrived at the bowling alley and looked around. There was no sign of the girls. They approached the bar and got a round in. A few minutes later the girls turned up. Dean kissed Sam. “Sam, this is Andy.”

Sam’s smile was warm and kind. They shook hands. “We meet again,” she said.

Andy smiled and his heart lurched. Had she remembered?

“And this is Kate,” Sam told him, turning to her friend and introducing them. No, she hadn’t.

Andy peeled his eyes away from Sam and looked at Kate. She was nice enough. He recognised her from the day he had seen Sam several weeks before. A pretty girl, wearing a little too much make-up in his opinion, but she seemed okay. “Hi, Kate,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. What was he doing here? He had no interest in Kate at all. But of course, he knew the real reason. It was her. Sam. As painful as he knew it would be, to get to see Sam again was worth it. Miller had been right. She had got under his skin and to be able to be near her was worth any price.

The game was close and the banter was lively throughout, but half an hour after the game had ended, Kate got a call from her mum and had to rush off. Andy stood up and offered to walk her home, but Kate said she would get a taxi as it was quicker and that she’d be just fine on her own. Sam wanted to go with her too, but again Kate would have none of it and Sam said she’d ring her when she got home.

Andy soon began to feel like a gooseberry. He knew he should really make his excuses and leave Dean and Sam together, but he couldn’t. He had no more will to tear himself away than a moth had from the flame.

Dean’s mobile buzzed and his eyes flitted down to the screen. “Sorry, gorgeous, I’d better take this. It’s my gran.” He slipped out of his seat and wandered away to the front of the building to take the call.

Sam turned back to Andy. They were alone. Andy leant in across the table, holding her gaze for as long as he could bear. “So, how long have you been singing, Sam?” he asked. A delicate blush spread across her face and Andy was in heaven.

“A few years, I guess. I was bullied into it at college by some friends and I caught the bug I suppose. Silly really, but it’s a bit of fun. And they’re a nice lot down at the Crown, very forgiving.”

“I doubt that. I think you just happen to be very good.”

Sam looked briefly down at her lap. “So what’s your hidden talent then?” she asked.

Andy chuckled. “Talent? Not sure I have one of those. I don’t seem to have enough time to dedicate myself to acquiring one.”

“A hobby then? What about stamp collecting?”

Andy raised an eyebrow.

“Skiing?”

Andy thought. “No, that’s my golden brother’s domain.”

His tone made Sam stop. “You don’t get on?”

“No, it’s not that. He’s all right, we’re just chalk and cheese that’s all. And for my parents’ part, cheese is just preferable to chalk.” Andy laughed, quite taken aback at how quickly he had unravelled. “I like to walk, Sam. I like mountains, the countryside and trees. Is that too dull?”

“Not at all. It sounds lovely.” She smiled.

Andy knew he didn’t have long. Somehow he had to get through to Sam without giving away too much. If he had only managed to actually speak when they had first met, he wouldn’t be in this mess right now. He leaned back in his seat, trying to give the impression of easy confidence. “Do you ever travel, Sam? Abroad I mean.”

“Not much. Why, do you?”

Andy smiled.

“Of course you do.” Sam rolled her eyes. “But what about for fun?”

“Now and again.” He was watching her closely. “I’ve been to Greece,” he said. “Switzerland was impressive and, er… Tenerife.”

“Oh, I’ve been there. I went with some friends a few years back.” She smiled and Andy hoped she might be remembering.

“All girls together?” he asked.

“Something like that.”

“Did you ever discover a café on the west side of the island, Café Aurelio, I think it was called?”

Sam hesitated, her face suddenly becoming unreadable. Andy’s heart hammered inside his chest as he waited for her to reply. Sam took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to speak, but just as she did, Dean plonked himself back down by her side, making her jolt with surprise.

“Dean! Is everything all right? Is she okay?” Sam asked and Andy’s eye’s fell briefly closed in defeat.

“Who?” Dean asked.

“Your gran.”

Dean tucked his phone back into his pocket. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, she’s fine.” He looked from Sam to Andy and back again. “So, what’d I miss?”

Sam glanced across at Andy, her expression searching, but his time had slipped away and the moment was gone.

The rest of the evening was torture and ecstasy in equal measure, talking and laughing with this girl who was now with someone else. She was perfect- intelligent, funny and seductive all in one. He loved the way she tilted her head when she was unsure, exposing just a little more of her delicate neck, and the way she bit her bottom lip when she was trying to tease was sweetness itself. Life just wasn’t fair. Dean got any girl he wanted with his film star looks and gift of the gab. They fell for it every time. Why did it have to be her?

His eyes fixed on Dean’s hand moving slowly up and down Sam’s side. His shoulders tensed. Dean leant in closer, his lips whispered into Sam’s ear. It was agony. Why had he not been more of a man and fought for her at the outset, instead of letting Dean snatch her away from him right under his nose? It was Dean who was allowed to touch her sensuous body, Dean who could whisper softly into her ear and the thought of what was going to happen the moment Andy left them that evening was almost too much to bear. But watching helplessly from the sideline was better than not being near her at all.

By ten o’clock, Dean gave up with subtle signals and when Sam excused herself and popped to the ladies’ for a minute he made his feelings plain. “Okay, Prof, on your bike. I’m never going to get any action here with you hanging around.”

Sam returned and Andy smiled at her warmly and reluctantly stood up to take his leave. “Anyway, it’s been great, Sam, but I’d better get back: early start in the morning.” He picked up his dark blue puffer jacket and slid out of his seat.

“Oh? You sure you won’t stay?” Dean asked, sliding round the table closer to Sam.