The Innocents Abroad - Volume 01

Titel: The Innocents Abroad — Volume 01

von Oliver Goldsmith, Samuel Pepys, William Dean Howells, John Burroughs, William Harmon Norton, L. Mühlbach, Franklin Knight Lane, Walter Pater, Jonathan Swift, Augusta J. Evans, Trumbull White, Kathleen Thompson Norris, Matthew Arnold, Charles W. Colby, Shakespeare, James Fenimore Cooper, D. H. Lawrence, James Joyce, Ada Cambridge, Philip E. Muskett, Catherine Helen Spence, Rolf Boldrewood, Ernest Scott, Fergus Hume, H. G. Wells, Victor Appleton, Roald Amundsen, Max Simon Nordau, Henry David Thoreau, E. Phillips Oppenheim, Richard Wagner, Franz Liszt, Charlotte Mary Yonge, Charles Henry Eden, Charles Babbage, T. R. Malthus, Unknown, Joseph Ernest Morris, Robert Southey, Isabella L. Bird, Charles James Fox, Thomas Hariot, Cyrus Thomas, Bart Haley, Christopher Morley, Edgar Saltus, Marie Corelli, Edmund Lester Pearson, Robert Browning, John Aubrey, Benjamin Nathaniel Bogue, John McElroy, John Galsworthy, Henry James, Hamilton Wright Mabie, Mina Benson Hubbard, Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell, John Keble, Henry Lindlahr, Richard Henry Dana, Annie Wood Besant, Immanuel Kant, John Habberton, Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany, T. B. Ray, Isabel Ecclestone Mackay, Frank C. Haddock, William John Locke, baron Arthur Léon Imbert de Saint-Amand, Ralph Centennius, United States, Library of Congress. Copyright Office, James Otis, George Hartmann, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, George Gissing, John Henry Tilden, Thomas Wright, Frederick Samuel Dellenbaugh, Anonymous, J. Clontz, David Hume, Margot Asquith, Elmer Ulysses Hoenshel, Byron J. Rees, Lida B. McMurry, Georges Duhamel, Ramsay Muir, Edith Wharton, Charles Sturt, Lola Ridge, J. M. Stone, Annie Payson Call, Grant Allen, kniaz Petr Alekseevich Kropotkin, Steve Solomon, Isabel Moser, Aleksandr Sergeevich Pushkin, Horace W. C. Newte, Charles Darwin, Maurice Maeterlinck, Walter Bagehot, Henri Bergson, George Randolph Chester, John S. C. Abbott, L. Frank Baum, William T. Sherman, Philip Henry Sheridan, Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Ambrose Bierce, Ulysses S. Grant, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Alfred Lichtenstein, Abbot of Nogent-sous-Coucy Guibert, Nellie L. McClung, Alice Caldwell Hegan Rice, E. Nesbit, Henri Barbusse, J. M. Synge, Frank Norris, Louis Hémon, Henry Van Dyke, Thomas Guthrie Marquis, Susanna Moodie, Frank Bigelow Tarbell, René Descartes, Kirk Munroe, Francis Hopkinson Smith, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Talbot Mundy, George Meredith, Clemens Brentano, James De Mille, James Allen, Norman Douglas, Bolton Hall, Arthur Christopher Benson, James Oliver Curwood, Frank Jardine, Bertram Lenox Simpson, Freiherr von Justus Liebig, Cyril G. Hopkins, Mary Eleanor Wilkins Freeman, Evelyn Scott, Charles Monroe Sheldon, George Berkeley, Steven Sills, Sara Jeannette Duncan, Jules Verne, Irvin S. Cobb, Zane Grey, August von Kotzebue, John Addington Symonds, Marjorie Allen Seiffert, J. B. Bury, William Makepeace Thackeray, Jules Renard, Susan Coolidge, Huguette Bertrand, Mrs. C. F. Fraser, Ottilie A. Liljencrantz, William Morton Payne, Henry Adams, T. S. Arthur, Orison Swett Marden, T. S. Ackland, Anthony Trollope, graf Leo Tolstoy, Robert Smythe Hichens, Émile Gaboriau, Wilkie Collins, Charles Reade, Horace Walpole, Jennette Lee, Thomas Dykes Beasley, Inez Haynes Gillmore, L. H. Woolley, John Francis Davis, James B. Stetson, William Day Simonds, James O'Meara, Almira Bailey, Cuthbert Bede, Voltaire, Percy Bysshe Shelley, William Bennett Munro, Sir Richard Francis Burton, Horatio Alger, Paul Verlaine, Samuel Vaknin, William Ralph Inge, Madame de Staël, J. Hector St. John de Crèvecoeur, L. A. Abbott, F. Colburn Adams, John S. Adams, Thornton W. Burgess, Glenn D. Bradley, Eugen Neuhaus, Arthur E. Knights, Bret Harte, Maturin Murray Ballou, Jane G. Austin, Samuel Johnson, Frederick Niecks, Stephen Leacock, Suelette Dreyfus, Stéphane Mallarmé, Lyndon Orr, William Le Queux, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Jeannie Gunn, Jean François Regnard, John Ruskin, A. I. Kuprin, Pierre Louÿs, George Barr McCutcheon, John Munro, Holman Day, William Stearns Davis, John Richardson, Mary Jane Holmes, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Finley Peter Dunne, C. J. Dennis, Ethel Sybil Turner, Julius Wellhausen, Arnold Bennett, Harold Bell Wright, Guðmundur Kamban, Charles Stuart Calverley, A. E. W. Mason, Charles Rivière Dufresny, David Starr Jordan, Wallace Irwin, J. W. Wright, Thomas Hardy, United States Rubber Company, Helen Reimensnyder Martin, William Fayette Fox, Lewis Carroll, Anna Katharine Green, Shell Union Oil Corporation, Louisa May Alcott, Theocritus, of Phlossa near Smyrna Bion, Moschus, Bertrand Russell, Guy de Maupassant, Henrik Ibsen, James Whitcomb Riley, Josephine Lawrence, Pierre Loti, Harry Alverson Franck, Albert Payson Terhune, Harold MacGrath, G. A. Henty, Harriet A. Adams, John Lothrop Motley, H. E. Bird, Joseph Crosby Lincoln, Michel Baron, Gene Stratton-Porter, James Clerk Maxwell, Norman Lindsay, Edward Lasker, Margaret Penrose, S. R. Crockett, Austin Hall, Homer Eon Flint, Various, Clarence Edward Mulford, Upton Sinclair, John Andreas Widtsoe, Thomas Bulfinch, David Graham Phillips, John Kendrick Bangs, Edmond Jaloux, Emile Littré, 13th cent. de Boron Robert, Samuel Butler, James Huneker, Jessie Graham Flower, St. George Rathborne, Charles Wesley Emerson, Winston Churchill, Edith Bancroft, Lloyd Osbourne, Jack London, Lyman Abbott, Belle K. Abbott, Sinclair Lewis, H. W. Conn, Ludwig Thoma, Sir Walter Scott, August Strindberg, Thomas Chapais, Ernest Giles, David Wynford Carnegie, Zoeth Skinner Eldredge, Eusebius Joseph Molera, C. C. Andrews, Robert Barr, John Hendricks Bechtel, Robert W. Chambers, Alice B. Emerson, Anna M. Galbraith, Laura Lee Hope, L. T. Meade, Harry Steele Morrison, Frank Gee Patchin, Louise Clarke Pyrnelle, William MacLeod Raine, Roy Rockwood, Edward Stratemeyer, Louis Tracy, Matthew White, Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Clarence Young, Ludwig Leichhardt, Arthur B. Reeve, Mrs. Georgie Sheldon, Samuel Hopkins Adams, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, John Tyler, James K. Polk, Zachary Taylor, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Rutherford Birchard Hayes, Chester Alan Arthur, Grover Cleveland, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, William H. Taft, Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard M. Nixon, Gerald R. Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, William Jefferson Clinton, George W. Bush, United States. Presidents., Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson, Rex Ellingwood Beach, Euripides, Henry C. Northam, Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews, Alice Brown, Mary Stewart Doubleday Cutting, Elizabeth Garver Jordan, Elizabeth Stuart Phelps, Mary Heaton Vorse, Edith Wyatt, Bernard Shaw, Georg Büchner, Mrs. Alfred Gatty, Henry Mackenzie, Thomas Henry Huxley, Leonard Huxley, William Hazlitt, Arthur William Dunn, Baroness Emmuska Orczy Orczy, Standish O'Grady, J. M. Barrie, J. G Patterson, Alexandre Dumas père, Alphonse Daudet, Ignatius Donnelly, Henry A. Shute, Walter Savage Landor, E. J. Banfield, George Sand, Gustave Flaubert, William James, Charles Klein, J. Storer Clouston, John Fox, John Stuart Mill, Laurence Hope, Andrew Lang, Vaughan Kester, Molière, Baron George Gordon Byron Byron, Viscount Henry St. John Bolingbroke, Ben Jonson, Émile Zola, Thomas Stevens, Carl Ewald, Anatole France, Edward J. Wickson, Henry M. Stanley, Nicolas Boileau Despréaux, Selma Lagerlöf, Richard Marsh, W. B. Yeats, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Henry Stevens, Gouverneur Morris, Kaiten Nukariya, Henry Rider Haggard, Frances Boyd Calhoun, George Crabbe, Bertram Waldrom Matz, Joseph A. Altsheler, Petronius Arbiter, F. Marion Crawford, Charles James Lever, John Payne, Harlan Page Halsey, Karl Philipp Moritz, Henry Cruse Murphy, Vingie E. Roe, Mabel C. Hawley, Walter Cox Green, Henry Fielding, Jeffery Farnol, Laura Elizabeth Howe Richards, Howard Roger Garis, Lilian Garis, Carolyn Wells, G. K. Chesterton, Mungo Park, Theodore Dreiser, Arthur Cheney Train, Edward Payson Roe, Robert Louis Stevenson, Asa Gray, Jean de La Fontaine, Frances Hodgson Burnett, Mary Noailles Murfree, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, J. S. Fletcher, Elinor Glyn, Jacob Grimm, Wilhelm Grimm, Kenneth Grahame, Wassily Kandinsky, Theodor Fontane, S. Baring-Gould, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, E. Cherubini, Brett Page, Dom, John Oxley, William F. Drannan, Mark Rutherford, Adelbert von Chamisso, L. M. Montgomery, Edward John Eyre, Dorothy Canfield Fisher, F. H. King, Justin McCarthy, Myrtle Reed, Francis Grose, W. H. Hudson, Andrew Kennedy Hutchison Boyd, Count Anthony Hamilton, Horace, John Brown, Katherine Cecil Thurston, Victor Hugo, Henry Sweet, Robert Hillyer, Amy Brooks, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Brillat-Savarin, Thomas Bailey Aldrich, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Grace M. Remick, Georg Ebers, Francis Bacon, Juliana Horatia Gatty Ewing, Ralph Victor, Sir Francis Darwin, Heinrich Heine, Thomas Sherlock, William Ferneley Allen, Henry Harland, Khalil Gibran, Lady Florence Henrietta Fisher Darwin, Sir William Petty, Juliet Helena Lumbard James, Max Pearson Cushing, Marion Harland, Edward Francis Adams, E. Pauline Johnson, John Drinkwater, James Edward Talmage, Margaret Sidney, William Allen White, Gertrude Page, Michel de Montaigne, Alleyne Ireland, Charles E. Morris, Martinovitsné Kutas Ilona, Ernst Lehrs, Richard Harding Davis, Robert Seymour, Anna Bonus Kingsford, Edmund Burke, Lightheart, Brother of the Resurrection Lawrence, Joseph Conrad, Lucia Prudence Hall Woodbury, Virginia Woolf, Ellis Wynne, Eustace Hale Ball, A. A. Milne, George MacDonald, Arthur Herbert Leahy, W. E. B. Du Bois, Nathaniel H. Bishop, Charles Kingsley, Mark Twain

ISBN 978-3-7429-5521-0

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THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, Part 1

THE INNOCENTS ABROAD

Part 1, Chapters 1 to 10

by Mark Twain

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THE INNOCENTS ABROAD

by Mark Twain

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CONTENTS

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

CHAPTER I.

Popular Talk of the Excursion—Programme of the Trip—Duly Ticketed for the Excursion—Defection of the Celebrities

CHAPTER II.

Grand Preparations—An Imposing Dignitary—The European Exodus— Mr. Blucher's Opinion—Stateroom No. 10—The Assembling of the Clans— At Sea at Last

CHAPTER III.

"Averaging" the Passengers—Far, far at Sea.—Tribulation among the Patriarchs—Seeking Amusement under Difficulties—Five Captains in the Ship

CHAPTER IV.

The Pilgrims Becoming Domesticated—Pilgrim Life at Sea—"Horse- Billiards"—The "Synagogue"—The Writing School—Jack's "Journal"— The "Q. C. Club"—The Magic Lantern—State Ball on Deck—Mock Trials— Charades—Pilgrim Solemnity—Slow Music—The Executive Officer Delivers an Opinion

CHAPTER V.

Summer in Mid-Atlantic—An Eccentric Moon—Mr. Blucher Loses Confidence—The Mystery of "Ship Time"—The Denizens of the Deep—"Land Hoh"— The First Landing on a Foreign Shore—Sensation among the Natives— Something about the Azores Islands—Blucher's Disastrous Dinner— The Happy Result

CHAPTER VI.

Solid Information—A Fossil Community—Curious Ways and Customs—Jesuit Humbuggery—Fantastic Pilgrimizing—Origin of the Russ Pavement— Squaring Accounts with the Fossils—At Sea Again

CHAPTER VII.

A Tempest at Night—Spain and Africa on Exhibition—Greeting a Majestic Stranger—The Pillars of Hercules—The Rock of Gibraltar—Tiresome Repetition—"The Queen's Chair"—Serenity Conquered—Curiosities of the Secret Caverns—Personnel of Gibraltar—Some Odd Characters—A Private Frolic in Africa—Bearding a Moorish Garrison (without loss of life)—Vanity Rebuked—Disembarking in the Empire of Morocco

CHAPTER VIII.

The Ancient City of Tangier, Morocco—Strange Sights—A Cradle of Antiquity—We become Wealthy—How they Rob the Mail in Africa—The Danger of being Opulent in Morocco

CHAPTER IX.

A Pilgrim—in Deadly Peril—How they Mended the Clock—Moorish Punishments for Crime—Marriage Customs—Looking Several ways for Sunday—Shrewd, Practice of Mohammedan Pilgrims—Reverence for Cats—Bliss of being a Consul-General

CHAPTER X.

Fourth of July at Sea—Mediterranean Sunset—The "Oracle" is Delivered of an Opinion—Celebration Ceremonies—The Captain's Speech—France in Sight—The Ignorant Native—In Marseilles—Another Blunder—Lost in the Great City—Found Again—A Frenchy Scene

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

1. THE QUAKER CITY IN A STORM—FRONTPIECE

2. ILLUMINATED TITLE-PAGE-THE PILGRIM'S VISION

3. "I 'LL PAY YOU IN PARIS"

4. THE START

5. "GOOD MORNING, SIR"

6. THE OLD PIRATE

7. DANCING UNDER DIFFICULTIES

8. THE MOCK TRIAL

9. "LAND, HO!"

10. THE CAPOTE

11. RUIN AND DESOLATION

12. PORT OF HORTA, FAYAL

13. "SEKKI-YAH"

14. BEAUTIFUL STRANGER

15. ROCK OF GIBRALTAR

16. "QUEEN'S CHAIR"

17. THE ORACLE

18. THE INTERROGATION POINT

19. GARRISON AT MALABAT

20. ENTERTAINING AN ANGEL

21. VIEW OF A STREET IN TANGIER

22. CHANGE FOR A NAPOLEON

23. THE CONSUL'S FAMILY

24. "POET LARIAT"

25. FIRST SUPPER IN FRANCE

26. PAINTING

PREFACE

This book is a record of a pleasure trip. If it were a record of a solemn scientific expedition, it would have about it that gravity, that profundity, and that impressive incomprehensibility which are so proper to works of that kind, and withal so attractive. Yet notwithstanding it is only a record of a pic-nic, it has a purpose, which is to suggest to the reader how he would be likely to see Europe and the East if he looked at them with his own eyes instead of the eyes of those who traveled in those countries before him. I make small pretense of showing anyone how he ought to look at objects of interest beyond the sea—other books do that, and therefore, even if I were competent to do it, there is no need.

I offer no apologies for any departures from the usual style of travel-writing that may be charged against me—for I think I have seen with impartial eyes, and I am sure I have written at least honestly, whether wisely or not.

In this volume I have used portions of letters which I wrote for the Daily Alta California, of San Francisco, the proprietors of that journal having waived their rights and given me the necessary permission. I have also inserted portions of several letters written for the New York Tribune and the New York Herald.

THE AUTHOR. SAN FRANCISCO.

CHAPTER I.

For months the great pleasure excursion to Europe and the Holy Land was chatted about in the newspapers everywhere in America and discussed at countless firesides. It was a novelty in the way of excursions—its like had not been thought of before, and it compelled that interest which attractive novelties always command. It was to be a picnic on a gigantic scale. The participants in it, instead of freighting an ungainly steam ferry—boat with youth and beauty and pies and doughnuts, and paddling up some obscure creek to disembark upon a grassy lawn and wear themselves out with a long summer day's laborious frolicking under the impression that it was fun, were to sail away in a great steamship with flags flying and cannon pealing, and take a royal holiday beyond the broad ocean in many a strange clime and in many a land renowned in history! They were to sail for months over the breezy Atlantic and the sunny Mediterranean; they were to scamper about the decks by day, filling the ship with shouts and laughter—or read novels and poetry in the shade of the smokestacks, or watch for the jelly-fish and the nautilus over the side, and the shark, the whale, and other st