OSBORN BOOTS AND MR. GLIBTONGUE
"Once on a time there was a king who had many hundred sheep, and many hundred goats and kine; and many hundred horses he had too, and silver and gold in great heaps. But for all that he was so given to grief, that he seldom or ever saw folk, and much less say a word to them. Such he had been ever since his youngest daughter was lost, and if he had never lost her it would still have been bad enough, for there was a troll who was for ever making such waste and worry there that folk could hardly pass to the king's grange in peace. Now the troll let all the horses loose, and they trampled down mead and corn-field, and ate up the crops; now he tore the heads off the king's ducks and geese; sometimes he killed the king's kine in the byre, sometimes he drove the king's sheep and goats down the rocks and broke their necks, and every time they went to fish in the mill-dam he had hunted all the fish to land and left them lying there dead.
"Well! there was a couple of old folk who had three sons, the first was called Peter, the second Paul, and the third Osborn Boots, for he always lay and grubbed about in the ashes.
"They were hopeful youths, but Peter, who was the eldest, was said to be the hopefullest, and so he asked his father if he might have leave to go out into the world and try his luck.
"'Yes! you shall have it,' said the old fellow. 'Better late than never, my boy.'
"So he got brandy in a flask, and food in his wallet, and then he threw his fare on his back and toddled down the hill. And when he had walked a while, he fell upon an old wife who lay by the road side.
"'Ah! my dear boy, give me a morsel of food to-day,' said the old wife.
"But Peter hardly so much as looked on one side, and then he held his head straight and went on his way.
"'Ay, ay,' said the old wife, 'go along, and you shall see what you shall see.'
"So Peter went far and farther than far, till he came at last to the king's grange. There stood the king in the gallery, feeding the cocks and hens.
"'Good evening and God bless your majesty," said Peter.
"'Chick-a-biddy! chick-a-biddy!' said the king, and scattered corn both east and west, and took no heed of Peter.
"'Well!' said Peter to himself, 'you may just stand there and scatter corn and cackle chicken-tongue till you turn into a bear,' and so he went into the kitchen and sat down on the bench as though he were a great man.
"'What sort of a stripling are you,' said the cook, for Peter had not yet got his beard. That he thought jibes and mocking, and so he fell to beating and banging the kitchen-maid. But while he was hard at it, in came the king, and made them cut three red stripes out of his back, and then they rubbed salt into the wound, and sent him home again the same way he came.
"Now as soon as Peter was well home, Paul must set off in his turn. Well! well! he too got brandy in his flask and food in his wallet, and he threw his fare over his back and toddled down the hill. When he had got on his way he, too, met the old wife, who begged for food, but he strode past her and made no answer; and at the king's grange he did not fare a pin better than Peter. The king called 'chick-a-biddy,' and the kitchen-maid called him a clumsy boy, and when he was going to bang and beat her for that, in came the king with a butcher's knife, and cut three red stripes out of him, and rubbed hot embers in, and sent him home again with a sore back.
"Then Boots crept out the cinders, and fell to shaking himself. The first day he shook all the ashes off him, the second he washed and combed himself, and the third he dressed himself in his Sunday best.
"'Nay! nay! just look at him,' said Peter. 'Now we have got a new sun shining here. I'll be bound you are off to the king's grange to win his daughter and half the kingdom. Far better bide in the dusthole and lie in the ashes, that you had.'
"But Boots was deaf in that ear, and he went in to his father and asked leave to go out a little into the world.
"'What are you to do out in the world?' said the grey-beard. 'It did not fare so well either with Peter or Paul, and what do you think will become of you?'
"But Boots would not give way, and so at last he had leave to go.
"His brothers were not for letting him have a morsel of food with him, but his mother gave him a cheese rind and a bone with very little meat on it, and with them he toddled away from the cottage. As he went he took his time. 'You'll be there soon enough,' he said to himself. 'You have all the day before you, and afterwards the moon will rise, if you have any luck.' So he put his best foot foremost, and puffed up the hills, and all the while looked about him on the road.
"After a long, long way he met the old wife, who lay by the road side.
"'The poor old cripple,' said Boots, 'I'll be bound you are starving.'
"'Yes! she was,' said the old wife.
"'Are you? then I'll go shares with you,' said Osborn Boots, and as he said that he gave her the rind of cheese.
"'You're freezing too,' he said, as he saw how her teeth chattered. 'You must take this old jacket of mine. It's not good in the arms, and thin in the back, but once on a time, when it was new, it was a good wrap.'
"'Bide a bit,' said the old wife, as she fumbled down in her big pocket, 'Here you have an old key, I have nothing better or worse to give you, but when you look through the ring at the top, you can see whatever you choose to see.'
"So when he got to the king's grange the cook was hard at work drawing water, and that was great toil to her.
"'It's too heavy for you,' said Boots, 'but it's just what I am fit to do.'
"The one that was glad then, you may fancy, was the kitchen-maid, and from that day she always let Boots scrape the porridge-pot; but it was not long before he got so many enemies by that, that they told lies of him to the king, and said he had told them he was man enough to do this and that.
"So one day the king came and asked Boots if it were true that he was man enough to keep the fish in the mill-dam, so that the troll could not harm them, 'for that's what they tell me you have said,' spoke the king.
"'I have not said so,' said Boots, 'but if I had said it I would have been as good as my word.'
"Well, however it was, whether he had said it or not, he must try, if he wished to keep a whole skin on his back; that was what the king said.
"'Well, if he must he must,' said Boots, for he said he had no need to go about with red stripes under his jacket.
"In the evening Boots peeped through his key ring, and then he saw that the troll was afraid of thyme. So he fell to plucking all the thyme he could find, and some of it he strewed in the water, and some on land, and the rest he spread over the brink of the dam.
"So the troll had to leave the fish in peace, but now the sheep had to pay for it, for the troll was chasing them over all the cliffs and crags the whole night.
"Then one of the other servants came and said again that Boots knew a cure for the stock as well, if he only chose, for that he had said he was man enough to do it, was the very truth.
"Well! the king went out to him and spoke to him as he had spoken the first time, and threatened that he would cut three broad stripes out of his back if he did not do what he had said.
"So there was no help for it. Boots thought, I dare say it would be very fine to go about in the king's livery and a red jacket, but he thought he would rather be without it, if he himself had to find the cloth for it out of the skin of his back. That was what he thought and said.
"So he betook himself to his thyme again, but there was no end to his work, for as soon as he bound thyme on the sheep they ate it off one another's backs, and as he went on binding they went on eating, and they ate faster than he could bind. But at last he made an ointment of thyme and tar, and rubbed it well into them, and then they left off eating it. Then the kine and the horses got the same ointment, and so they had peace from the troll.
"But one day when the king was out hunting he trod upon wild grass and got bewildered, and lost his way in the wood; so he rode round and round for many days, and had nothing either to eat or drink, and his clothing fared so ill in the thorns and thickets that at last he had scarce a rag to his back. So the troll came to him and said if he might have the first thing the king set eyes on when he got on his own land, he would let him go home to his grange. Yes! he should have that, for the king thought it would be sure to be his little dog, which always came frisking and fawning to meet him. But just as he got near his grange, that they could see him, out came his eldest daughter at the head of all the court, to meet the king, and to welcome him back safe and sound.
"So when he saw that she was the first to meet him, he was so cut to the heart he fell to the ground on the spot, and since that time had been almost half-witted.
"One evening the troll was to come and fetch the princess, and she was dressed out in her best, and sat in a field out by the tarn, and wept and bewailed. There was a man called Glibtongue, who was to go with her, but he was so afraid he clomb up into a tall spruce fir, and there he stuck. Just then up came Boots, and sat down on the ground by the side of the princess. And she was so glad, as you may fancy, when she saw there were still Christian folk who dared to stay by her after all.
"'Lay your head on my lap,' she said, 'and I'll comb your hair;' so Osborn Boots did as she bade him, and while she combed his hair he fell asleep, and she took a gold ring off her finger and knitted it into his hair. Just then up came the troll puffing and blowing. He was so heavy footed that all the wood groaned and cracked a whole mile round.
"And when the troll saw Glibtongue sitting up in the tree-top, like a little black cock, he spat at him.
"'Pish,' he said, that was all, and down toppled Glibtongue and the spruce fir to the ground, and there he lay sprawling like a fish out of water.
"'Hu! hu!' said the troll, 'are you sitting here combing Christian folk's hair? Now I'll gobble you up.'
"'Stuff,' said Boots, as soon as he woke up, and then he fell to peering at the troll through the ring on his key.
"'Hu! hu!' said the troll, 'what are you staring at? Hu! hu!'
"And as he said that he hurled his iron club at him, so that it stood fifteen ells deep in the rock; but Boots was so quick and ready on his feet that he got on one side of the club, just as the troll hurled it.
"'Stuff! for such old wives' tricks,' said Boots, 'out with your toothpick, and you shall see something like a throw.'
"Yes! the troll plucked out the club at one pull, and it was as big as three weaver's beams. Meanwhile Boots stared up at the sky, both south and north.
"'Hu! hu!' said the troll, 'what are you gazing at now?'
"'I'm looking out for a star at which to throw,' said Boots. 'Do you see that tiny little one due north, that's the one I choose.'
"'Nay! nay!' said the troll, 'let it bide as it is. You mustn't throw away my iron club.'
"'Well! well!' said Boots, 'you may have it again then, but perhaps you wouldn't mind if I tossed you up to the moon just for once.'
"No! the troll would have nothing to say to that either.
"'Oh! but blindman's buff,' said Boots, 'haven't you a mind to play blindman's buff?'
"Yes, that would be fine fun, the troll thought; 'but you shall be blindfold first,' said the troll to Boots.
"'Oh, yes, with all my heart,' said the lad, 'but the fairest way is that we draw lots, and then we shan't have anything to quarrel about.'
"Yes! yes! that was best, and then you may fancy Boots took care the troll should be the first to have the handkerchief over his eyes, and was the first 'buff.'
"But that just was a game. My! how they went in and out of the wood, and how the troll ran and stumbled over the stumps, so that the dust flew and the wood rang.
"'Haw! haw!' bawled the troll at last, 'the deil take me if I'll be buff any longer,' for he was in a great rage.
"'Bide a bit,' said Boots, 'and I'll stand still and call till you come and catch me.'
"Meanwhile he took a hemp-comb and ran round to the other side of the tarn, which was so deep it had no bottom.
"'Now come, here I stand,' bawled out Boots.
"'I dare say there are logs and stumps in the way,' said the troll.
"'Your ears can tell you there is no wood here,' said Boots, and then he swore to him there were no stumps or stocks.
"'Now come along.'
"So the troll set off again, but 'squash' it said, and there lay the troll in the tarn, and Boots hacked at his eyes with the hemp-comb every time he got his head above water.
"Now the troll begged so prettily for his life, that Boots thought it was a shame to take it, but first he had to give up the princess, and to bring back the other whom he had stolen before. And besides he had to promise that folk and flock should have peace, and then he let the troll out, and he took himself off home to his hill.
"But now Glibtongue became a man again, and came down out of the tree-top, and carried off the princess to the grange, as though he had set her free. And then he stole down and gave his arm to the other also, when Boots had brought her as far as the garden. And now there was such joy in the king's grange, that it was heard and talked of over land and realm, and Glibtongue was to be married to the youngest daughter.
"Well, it was all good and right, but after all it was not so well, for just as they were to have the feast, if that old troll had not gone down under earth and stopped all the springs of water.
"'If I can't do them any other harm,' he said, 'they sha'n't have water to boil their bridal brose.'
"So there was no help for it but to send for Boots again. Then he got him an iron bar, which was to be fifteen ells long, and six smiths were to make it red hot. Then he peeped through his key ring, and saw where the troll was, just as well underground as above it, and then he drove the bar down through the ground, and into the troll's backbone, and all I can say was, there was a smell of burnt horn fifteen miles round.
"'Haw! haw!' bellowed out the troll, 'let me out,' and in a trice he came tearing up through the hole, and all his back was burnt and singed up to the nape of his neck.
"But Boots was not slow, for he caught the troll and laid him on a stake that had thyme twisted round it, and there he had to be till he told him where he had got eyes from after those had been hacked out with the hemp-comb.
"'If you must know,' said the troll, 'I stole a turnip, and rubbed it well over with ointment, and then I cut it to the sizes I needed, and nailed them in tight with ten-penny nails, and better eyes I hope no Christian man will ever have.'
"Then the king came with the two princesses, and wanted to see the troll, and Glibtongue walked so bent and bowed, his coat tails were higher than his neck. But then the king caught sight of something glistening in the hair of Boots.
"'What have you got there?' he said.
"'Oh!' said Boots, 'nothing but the ring your daughter gave me when I freed her from the troll.'
"And now it came out how it had all happened. Glibtongue begged and prayed for himself, but for all his trying and all his crying there was no help for it, down he had to go into a pit full of snakes, and there he lay till he burst.
"Then they put an end to the troll, and then they began to be noisy and merry, and to drink and dance at the bridal of Boots, for now he was king of that company, and he got the youngest princess and half the kingdom.
"And here I lay my tale upon a sledge,
And send it thee whose tongue hath sharper edge,
But if thy tongue in wit is not so fine,
Then shame on thee that throwest blame on mine."
THIS IS THE LAD WHO SOLD THE PIG
"Once on a time there was a widow who had a son and he had set his heart on being nothing else than a tradesman. But you must know they were so poor that they had nothing that he could begin his trading with. The only thing his mother owned in the world was a sow pig, and he begged and prayed so long and so prettily for that, at last she was forced to let him have it.
"When he had got it he was to set off to sell it, that he might have some money to begin his trading. So he offered it to this man and that, good and bad alike; but there was no one who just then cared to buy a pig. At last he came to a rich old hunks; but you know much will always have more, and that man was one of the sort that never can have enough.
"'Will you buy a pig to-day?' said the lad; 'a good pig, and a long pig, and a fine fat pig.' That was what he said.
"The old hunks asked what he would have for it. It was at least worth six dollars, even between brothers, said the lad; but the times were so hard, and money so scarce, he didn't mind selling it for four dollars. And that was as good as giving it away.
"No, that the old hunks would not do – he wouldn't give so much as a dollar even; he had more pigs already than he wanted, and was well off for pigs of that sort. But as the lad was so eager to sell, he would be willing to do him a turn, and deal with him; but the most he could give for the whole pig, every inch of it, was fourpence. If he would take that down, he might turn his pig into the sty with the rest. That was what the old hunks said.
"The lad thought it shameful that he should not get more for his pig; but then he thought that something was better than nothing, and so he took the fourpence and turned in the pig. And then he fingered the money and went about his business. But when he got out into the road, he could not get it out of his head that he had been cheated out of his pig, and that he was not much better off with fourpence than with nothing. The longer he went and thought of this the angrier he got, and at last he thought to himself, —
"'If I could only play him a pretty trick, I wouldn't care either for the pig or the pence.'
"So he went away and got him a pair of stout thongs and a cat-o'-nine-tails, and then he threw over him a big cloak, and put on a billygoat's beard; and so he went back to the skinflint and said he was from outlandish parts, where he had learnt to be a master builder – for you must know he had heard the old hunks was going to build a house.
"Yes, he would gladly take him as master builder, he said; for thereabouts there were none but home-taught carpenters. So off they went to look at the timber, and it was the finest heart of pine that any one would wish to have in the wall of his house: and even the lad said it was brave timber – he couldn't say otherwise; but in outlandish parts they had got a new fashion, which was far better than the old. They did not take long beams and fit them into the wall, but they cut the beams up into nice small logs, and then they baked them in the sun and fastened them together again; and so they wore both stronger and prettier than an old-fashioned timber building.
"'That's how they build all the houses now-a-days in outlandish parts,' said the lad.
"'If it must be so, it must,' said the hunks. With that he set all the carpenters and woodmen who were to be found round about to chop and hew all his beams up into small logs.
"'But,' said the lad, 'we still want some big trees – some of the real mast-firs – for our sill-beams; maybe, there are no such big trees in your wood?'
"'Well!' said the man; 'if they're not to be found in my wood, it will be hard to find them anywhere else.'
"And so they strode off to the wood, both of them; and a little way up the hill they came to a big tree.
"'I should think that's big enough,' said the man.
"'No, it isn't big enough,' said the lad. 'If you haven't bigger trees, we sha'n't make much way with our building after the new fashion.'
"'Yes! I have bigger ones,' said the man. 'You shall soon see; but we must go further on.'
"So they went a long way over the hill, and at last they came to a big tree, one of the finest trees for a mast in all the wood.
"'Do you think this is big enough?' said the man.
"'I almost think it is,' said the lad. 'We will fathom it, and then we shall soon see. You go on the other side of the fir, and I will stand here. If we are not good enough to make our hands meet, it will be big enough; but mind you stretch out well. Stretch out well, do you hear?' said the lad, as he took out his thongs. As for the man, he did all the lad told him.
"'Yes!' said the lad, 'we shall meet nicely, I can see. But stop a bit, and I'll stretch your hands better,' he said, as he slipped a running knot over his wrists and drew it tight and bound him fast to the tree; then out came the cat-o'-nine-tails, and he fell to flogging the old hunks as fast as he could, and all the while he cried out, —
"'This is the lad who sold the pig, and this is the lad who sold the pig.'
"Nor did he leave off till he thought the old hunks had enough, and that he had got his rights for the pig; and then he loosed him, and left him lying under the tree.
"Now when the man did not come home they made a hue and cry for him over the neighbourhood, and searched the country round; and at last they found him under the fir-tree, more dead than alive.
"So when they had got him home the lad came, and had dressed himself up as a doctor, and said he had come from foreign parts, and knew a cure for all kinds of hurt. And when the man heard that, he was all for having him to doctor him, and the lad said he would not be long in curing him; but he must have him all alone in a room by himself, and no one must be by.
"'If you hear him screech and cry out,' he said, 'you must not mind it; for the more he screeches, the sooner he will be well again.'
"So when they were alone, he said, —
"'First of all I must bleed you.' And so he threw the man roughly down on a bench and bound him fast with the thongs; and then out came the cat-o'-nine-tails, and he fell to flogging him as fast as he could. The man screeched and screamed, for his back was sore, and every lash went into the bare flesh; and the lad flogged and flogged as though there were no end to it and all the while he bawled out, —
"'This is the lad who sold the pig. This is the lad who sold the pig.'
"The old hunks bellowed as though a knife were being stuck into him; but there was not a soul that cared about it, for the more he screeched the sooner he would be well, they thought.
"So when the lad had done his doctoring, he set off from the farm as fast as he could; but they followed fast on his heels, and overtook him and threw him into prison, and the end was he was doomed to be hanged.
"And the old hunks was so angry with him, even then, that he would not have him hanged till he was quite well, so that he might hang him with his own hands.
"So while the lad sat there in prison waiting to be hanged, one of the serving-men came out by night and stole kail in the garden of the old hunks, and the lad saw him.
"'So, so!' said he to himself; 'master thief, it will be odd if I don't play off a trick or two with you before I am hanged.'
"And so when time went on, and the man was so well he thought he had strength enough to hang him, he made them set up a gallows down by the way to the mill, so that he might see the body hanging every time he went to the mill. So they set out to hang the lad, and when they had gone a bit of the way, the lad said, —
"'You will not refuse to let me talk alone with your servant who grinds down yonder at the mill? I did him a bad turn once, and I wish now to confess it, and beg him for forgiveness before I die.'
"Yes! he might have leave to do that.
"'Heaven help you!' he said to the miller's man. 'Now your master is coming to hang you because you stole kail in his garden.'
"As soon as the miller's man heard that, he was so taken aback he did not know which way to turn; and so he asked the lad what he should do.
"'Take and change clothes with me and hide yourself behind the door,' said the lad; 'and then he will not know that it isn't me. And if he lays hands on any one, then it will not be you, but me.'
"It was some time before they had changed clothes and dressed again, and the old hunks began to be afraid lest the lad should have run away. So he posted down to the mill door.
"'Where is he?' he said to the lad, who stood there as white as a miller.
"'Oh, he was here just now,' said the lad. 'I think he went and hid himself behind the door.'
"'I'll teach you to hide behind the door, you rogue,' said the old hunks, as he seized the man in a great rage, and hurried him off to the gallows and hanged him in a breath; and all the while he never knew it was not the lad that he hanged.
"After that was done, he wanted to go into the mill to talk to his man, who was busy grinding. Meantime the lad had wedged up the upper millstone, and was feeling under it with his hands.
"Come here, come here,' he called out as soon as he saw the old hunks; 'and you shall feel what a wonderful millstone this is.'
"So the man went and felt the millstone with one hand.
"'Nay, nay,' said the lad; 'you'll never feel it unless you take hold of it with both hands.'
"Well, he did so; and just then the lad snatched out the wedge and let the upper millstone down on him, so that he was caught fast by the hands between the stones. Then out came the cat-o'-nine-tails again, and he fell to flogging him as fast as he could.
"'This is the lad who sold the pig,' he cried out, till he was hoarse.
"And when he had flogged him as much as he could he went home to his mother; and as time went on, and he thought the man had come to himself again, he said to her, —
"'Yes! now I daresay that man will be coming to whom I sold the pig; and now I know no other trick to screen me any longer from him, unless I dig a hole here south of the house, and there I will lie all day; and you must mind and say to him just what I tell you.'
"So the lad told his mother all she was to say and do.
"Then he dug such a hole as he had said, and took with him a long butcher's knife, and lay down in it; and his mother covered him over with boughs, and leaves, and moss, so that he was quite hidden! There he lay by day; and after a while the man came travelling along and asked for the lad.
"'Ay, ay,' said his mother. 'He was a man, that he was; though he never got from me more than one sow pig. For he became both a doctor and a master builder, and he was hanged after that, and rose again from the dead; and yet I never heard anything but ill of him. Here he came flying home the other day, and then he gave me the greatest joy I ever had of him, for he laid him down and died. As for me, I did not care enough for him to spend money on a priest and Christian earth; but I just buried him yonder, south of the house, and raked over him boughs and leaves.'
"'See now,' said the old hunks; 'if he hasn't cheated me after all, and slipped through my fingers. But though I have not been avenged on him living, I will do him a dishonour in his grave.'
"As he said this he strode away south to the grave, and stooped down to spit into it; but at that very moment the lad stuck the knife into him up to the handle, and bawled out, —
"'This is the lad who sold the pig! This is the lad who sold the pig!'
"Away flew the man with the knife sticking in him, and he was so scared and afraid, that nothing has ever been heard or seen of him since."