ACT II
SCENE I. An Apartment at Sir GeorgeSplendorville's
Enter Sir George, followed by Bluntly
SIR GEORGE
What's o'clock? [Rubbing his eyes.
BLUNTLY
Just noon, sir.
SIR GEORGE
Why was I waked so early?
BLUNTLY
You were not waked, sir – You rung.
SIR GEORGE
Then it was in my sleep – and could not you suppose so? – After going to bed at five, to make me rise at noon! (in a violent passion) What am I to do with myself, sir, till it is time to go out for the evening?
BLUNTLY
You have company to dinner you know, sir.
SIR GEORGE
No, it is to supper – and what am I to do with myself till that time?
BLUNTLY
Company again to supper, Sir?
SIR GEORGE
Yes, and the self-same company I had last night – I invited them upon Lady Caroline's account – to give her an opportunity of revenge, for the money she lost here yesterday evening – and I am all weariness – I am all lassitude and fretfulness till the time arrives. – But now I call to mind, I have an affair that may engage my attention a few hours. You were giving me an account, Bluntly, of that beautiful girl I saw enter at Blackman's?
BLUNTLY
Yes, sir, I saw her late last night in Mr. Blackman's house – she lodges there.
SIR GEORGE
Indeed? In Blackman's house? I am glad to hear it.
BLUNTLY
And he has assured me, sir, that she and her family are in the greatest poverty imaginable.
SIR GEORGE
I am glad to hear it.
BLUNTLY
They have been it seems above a twelvemonth in London, in search of some rich relations; but instead of meeting with them, the father was seen and remembered by an old creditor who has thrown him into prison.
SIR GEORGE
I am very glad to hear it.
BLUNTLY
But the young woman, Sir, has been so short a time in town, she has, seemingly, a great deal of modesty and virtue.
SIR GEORGE
And I am very glad to hear of that too – I like her the better – you know I do – for I am weary of that ready compliance I meet with from the sex.
BLUNTLY
But if I might presume to advise, sir – as you are so soon to be married to her ladyship, whom you love with sincere affection, you should give up this pursuit.
SIR GEORGE
And I shall give it up, Bluntly, before my marriage takes place – for, short as that time may be, I expect this passion will be over and forgotten, long before the interval has passed away. —
But that brother you were mentioning —
BLUNTLY
I have some reason to think, that with all his poverty, he has a notion of honour.
SIR GEORGE
[Laughing.
Oh! I have often tried the effect of a purse of gold with people of honour. – Have you desired them to be sent for as I ordered.
BLUNTLY
I have, Sir.
SIR GEORGE
See if they are come. [Exit Bluntly.] Ah!
my dear Lady Caroline, it is you, and only you, whom I love with a sincere passion! but in waiting this long expected event of our marriage, permit me to indulge some less exalted wishes.
Enter Bluntly
SIR GEORGE
Are they come?
BLUNTLY
The young man is in the anti-chamber, sir, but his sister is not with him. (Speaking to Henry who is without) Please to walk this way – my master desires to see you.
SIR GEORGE
No, no, no – I do not desire to see him, if his sister is not there. – Zounds you scoundrel what did you call him in for?
Enter Henry, and bows
[Sir George looks at him with a careless familiarity– Bluntly leaves the room.]
SIR GEORGE
Young man, I am told you are very poor – you may have heard that I am very rich – and I suppose you are acquainted with the extensive meaning of the word – generosity.
HENRY
[After an hesitation.] Perhaps not, sir.
SIR GEORGE
The meaning of it, as I comprehend, is, for the rich to give to the poor. – Have you any thing to ask of me in which I can serve you?
HENRY
Your proposal is so general, I am at a loss what to answer – but you are no doubt acquainted with the extensive meaning of the word, pride, – and that will apologize for the seeming indifference with which I receive your offer.
SIR GEORGE
Your pride seems extensive indeed. – I heard your father was in prison, and I pitied him.
HENRY
Did you, Sir? – Did you pity my father: – I beg your pardon – if I have said any thing to offend you pray forgive it – nor let my rudeness turn your companion away from him, to any other object.
SIR GEORGE
Would a small sum release him from confinement? Would about a hundred pounds —
HENRY
I have no doubt but it would.
SIR GEORGE
Then take that note. – Be not surprised – I mean to dispose of a thousand guineas this way, instead of fitting up a theatre in my own house. – That (giving him the note) is a mere trifle; my box at the opera, or my dinner; I mean to dine alone to morrow, instead of inviting company.
HENRY
Sir George, I spoke so rudely to you at first, that I know no other way to shew my humility, than to accept your present without reluctance. – I do therefore, as the gift of benevolence, not as the insult of better fortune.
SIR GEORGE
You have a brother, have not you?
HENRY
No, Sir – and only one sister.
SIR GEORGE
A sister is it? well, let me see your father and your brother – your sister I mean – did not you say? – you said a sister, did not you?
HENRY
Yes, Sir.
SIR GEORGE
Well, let me see your father and her; they will rejoice at their good fortune I imagine, and
I wish to be a witness of their joy.
HENRY
I will this moment go to our lawyer, extricate my father, and we will all return and make you the spectator of the happiness you have bestowed.
Forgive my eagerness to disclose your bounty, sir, if, before I have said half I feel, I fly to reveal it to my father; to whom I can more powerfully express my sensations – than in your presence.
[Exit.
SIR GEORGE
That bait has taken – and now, if the sister will only be as grateful.
Enter Bluntly
BLUNTLY
Dear sir, what can you have said to the young man? I never saw a person so much affected!
SIR GEORGE
In what manner?
BLUNTLY
The tears ran down his cheeks as he passed along, and he held something in his hand which he pressed to his lips, and then to his heart, as if it was a treasure.
SIR GEORGE
It is a treasure, Bluntly – a hundred Guineas.
BLUNTLY
But for which, I believe, you expect a greater treasure in return.
SIR GEORGE
Dost think so Bluntly? – dost think the girl is worth a hundred pounds?
BLUNTLY
If she refuses, she is worth a thousand – but if she complies, you have thrown away your money.
SIR GEORGE
Just the reverse.
BLUNTLY
But I hope, sir, you do not mean to throw away any more thus – for although this sum, by way of charity, may be well applied, yet indeed, sir, I know some of your creditors as much in want as this poor family.
SIR GEORGE
How! – You are in pay by some of my creditors I suppose?
BLUNTLY
No, Sir, you must pay them, before they can pay any body.
SIR GEORGE
You are impertinent – leave the room instantly, and go in search of this sister; now, while the son is gone to release his father. – Tell her, her brother is here, and bring her hither immediately.
BLUNTLY
But, sir, if you will only give me leave to speak one word —
SIR GEORGE
Do, speak; [Goes to the chimney-piece and takesdown a pistol] only speak a single syllable, and I'll send a ball instantly through your head.
BLUNTLY
I am dumb, Sir – I don't speak indeed, Sir – upon my life I don't. I wish I may die if I speak a word.
SIR GEORGE
Go on the errand I told you; and if you dare to return without the girl this is your fate.
[Holding up the pistol.
BLUNTLY
Yes, Sir.
[Exit.
SIR GEORGE
[Laying the pistol on the table.
Impertinent puppy; to ruffle the temper of a man of fashion with hints of prudence and morality, and paying his debts – all this from a servant too. The insolent, chattering —
Enter Bluntly
BLUNTLY
May I speak now, sir?
SIR GEORGE
What have you to say?
BLUNTLY
Mr. Blackman, sir.
SIR GEORGE
Bid him come in.
Enter Blackman. Exit Bluntly
SIR GEORGE
Good morning, Mr. Blackman; come, sit down.
BLACKMAN
[Bowing respectfully.
I am glad, Sir George, I have found you alone, for I come to speak to you on important business.
SIR GEORGE
Business! – no – not now if you please.
BLACKMAN
But I must, sir – I have been here ten times before, and have been put off, but now you must hear what I have to say.
SIR GEORGE
Don't be long then – don't be tedious, Mr. Blackman – for I expect a, a – in short, I expect a pretty woman.
BLACKMAN
When she comes, I will go.
SIR GEORGE
Very well, speak quickly then. What have you to say?
BLACKMAN
I come to speak upon the subject of your father's will; by which you know, you run the hazard of losing great part of what he left behind.
SIR GEORGE
But what am I to do?
BLACKMAN
There is no time to be lost. Consider, that Mr. Manly, the lawyer, whom your father employed, is a man who pretends to a great deal of morality; and it was he who, when your father found himself dying, alarmed his conscience, and persuaded him to make this Will in favour of a second person. Now, I think that you and I both together, ought to have a meeting with this conscientious lawyer.
SIR GEORGE
But I should imagine, Mr. Blackman, that if he is really a conscientious man, you and he will not be upon good terms.
BLACKMAN
Oh! people of our avocation differ in respect to conscience. Puzzle, confound, and abuse each other, and yet are upon good terms.
SIR GEORGE
But I fear —
BLACKMAN
Fear nothing. – There are a vast number of resources in our art. – It is so spacious, and yet so confined – so sublime, and yet so profound – so distinct, and yet so complicated – that if ever this person with whom your fortune is divided should be found, I know how to envelope her in a labyrinth, where she shall be lost again in a hurry. – But your father's lawyer being a very honest – I mean a very particular man in his profession, – I have reason to fear we cannot gain him over to our purpose. – If, therefore, —
Enter Bluntly
SIR GEORGE
My visitor is come, as I told you.
BLACKMAN
[Rising.
And I am gone, as I told you.
[Going.
Enter Eleanor
BLACKMAN
[Aside.
My lodger! ah! ah! (To her in a whisper)
You may stay another quarter.
[Exit.
SIR GEORGE
(To Eleanor) I am glad to see you. – Bluntly —
[Makes a sign to him to leave the room.
BLUNTLY
Sir?
[Sir George waves his hand and nodshis head a second time.
BLUNTLY
Sir? —
[Still affecting not to understand him.
SIR GEORGE
I bid you go. [Angrily.
BLUNTLY
You bid me go, sir? – Oh yes, sir. – Very well, sir. – But indeed, sir, I did not hear you before, sir. – Indeed I did not.
[Bows, and exit with reluctance, which Eleanor observes.
ELEANOR
Pardon me, sir. – I understood my brother was here, but I find he is not.
SIR GEORGE
He is but this instant gone, and will return immediately. – Stay then with me till he comes. (Takes her hand.) Surely you cannot refuse to remain with me a few moments; especially as I have a great deal to say to you that may tend to your advantage. Why do you cast your eyes with such impatience on that door? (Goes and locks it.) There, now you may look at it in vain.
ELEANOR
For heaven sake, why am I locked in?
SIR GEORGE
Because you should not escape.
ELEANOR
That makes me resolve I will – Open the door, sir.
[Going to it.
SIR GEORGE
Nay, listen to me. Your sentiments, I make no doubt, are formed from books.
ELEANOR
No, from misfortunes – yet more instructive.
SIR GEORGE
You shall never know misfortune more – you, nor your relations. – But this moment I presented your brother with a sum of money, and he left me with professions of the deepest gratitude.
ELEANOR
My brother! – Has he received money from you? Ah! he promised me he'd not disgrace his family.
SIR GEORGE
How! Family, indeed!
ELEANOR
I cannot remain here a moment longer. Open the door, sir – open it immediately.
[Raising her voice.
BLUNTLY
[Without.
Sir, sir, sir, – open the door, if you please – you are wanted, sir.
SIR GEORGE
S'death! who can want me in such haste?
[Opens the door, and appears confounded.
Enter Bluntly
SIR GEORGE
Well, sir!
BLUNTLY
– Did you call, sir?
SIR GEORGE
It was you who called, sir.
BLUNTLY
Who, I, sir?
SIR GEORGE
Yes, sir, you – Who wants me?
BLUNTLY
[Looking at Eleanor.
Perhaps it was you that called, Ma'am.
ELEANOR
It was I that called: and pray be so kind as to conduct me to my own lodgings.
[Bluntly offers her his hand.
SIR GEORGE
Dare not to touch her – or to stay another moment in the room. – Begone.
[Bluntly looks at Eleanor aside, andpoints to the pistol; then bows humbly, andretires.
SIR GEORGE
And now, my fair Lucretia —
[He is going to seize her – she takes upthe pistol and presents it.
ELEANOR
No, it's not myself I'll kill – 'Tis you.
SIR GEORGE
[Starting.
Nay, nay, nay, lay it down. – Lay that foolish thing down; I beg you will. (Trembling.) It is charged – it may go off.
ELEANOR
I mean it to go off.
SIR GEORGE
But no jesting – I never liked jesting in my life.
ELEANOR
Nor I – but am always serious. – Dare not, therefore, insult me again, but let me go to my wretched apartments.
[Passes by him, presenting the pistol.
SIR GEORGE
Go to the —
[She turns short at the door, and presents it again.
SIR GEORGE
What would you do? – Here Bluntly! Bluntly!