An hour must have passed, during which time the doctor still fancied there was a man on guard, and dared not move, though at that time the three visitors were coolly taking their tickets of a sleepy porter, the only one of the railway company’s servants in charge of the station, and soon after they were being whirled up by the night mail which called at Somesham for the letter-bags at two o’clock. But at last, as the doctor’s mind became clearer, he made out that the breathing must be that of his brother; and rousing himself, he tried to free his hands. The cord only cut deeply into his plump flesh, though, and a sharp pain was the sole result, though he could tell that his arms and legs were swelling, and that the circulation was almost stopped. He tried to get rid of the gag in his mouth, but only made it press the harder upon his false teeth, so that the gold setting seemed almost to crush his gums. Then he waited awhile, to gain strength, and as his head grew clearer, he recalled how that the will had been destroyed, and thought of how, had he known what was to happen, he would have opened and read it. If now Octavius would neglect to make another! He was old and helpless, and no doubt getting to be imbecile – at least, in his doctorial eyes; and if he would but neglect to make another! Then he remembered how the villains had denuded his person, and he writhed with fury so that his chair cracked.
Back to the thoughts of the will and of Septimus Hardon; and for a time so deep was his musing, that the doctor almost forgot his own position till the pain recalled him, and he found he was fast growing numb and cold.
All at once a terrible shudder ran through his frame, for a rustling and squeaking behind the oak wainscot startled him.
“Rats!” he thought to himself; and he recalled how the house was said to swarm with them, and how that they had once attacked a child in bed. Started upon that train of thought, there were plenty of anecdotes to startle him with the reputed courage of the fierce little animals when hunger-driven.
Another hour passed in the darkness, as regularly and slow came the stertorous breathing of Octavius, interrupted at times by the fierce scratching of the rats behind the wainscot, or their scampering beneath the floor in their many galleries; and again and again the doctor shivered with fear, as he sat listening and longing for help.
But no help came – neither was it likely to come, since the lonely house might have been passed again and again without there being a suspicion excited of anything being wrong. Besides, late in the night it was a great chance if a soul passed. He knew, from his professional habits, that no surprise would be felt at home because of his absence, and he had not said where he was going.
Another hour passed, and the doctor sat listening eagerly for his brother’s breath, which, from being loud and stertorous, had now become so faint as to be hardly perceptible; indeed at times it appeared to have ceased, and in his then excited condition he began to dread that the overdose of laudanum, or the shock, had been too much for the old man, and that he was to pass the remainder of the night with a corpse. He dreaded the corpse horribly, but did he dread that such was the case – that his brother was dead? He was old and useless certainly, but he was rich, and his will was destroyed; and were there no Septimus, or could he be put aside, that property would come to him. But was his brother dead? Death was nothing new to him; he had stood by hundreds of deathbeds; but under these circumstances, bound down there, with nerves unstrung, numbed, cold, and in agony, Doctor Hardon had at times a difficult matter to contain himself, and he trembled fearfully with a new horror lest he should lose control over himself.
He listened, and the breathings had ceased; the only sounds he could hear were the horrible gnawings of the vermin. At last, though, he heard a breath; but he shuddered again, for his excited fancy told him that it was the harsh, rattling expiration that he had often heard – that last effort of the lungs ere stilled for ever.
The tearing and scratching of the vermin now grew louder, and the doctor asked himself why? as, beside himself with horror, he sat listening. His temples throbbed, the cold sweat stood upon his face, and he struggled again and again to free himself, but only to tighten the well-tied knots. At times he could hardly breathe, while at last a thrill ran through him – a thrill of indescribable terror – such a shock as would have made him yell, had he been able; for quickly, and with a sharp scratching, he felt something run up one of his bound legs, across his lap, and then he heard the soft “pat” as a rat leaped upon the carpet.
Doctor Hardon could bear no more; horrible, stifled groans burst from his breast, as, mad with dread, he leaped and bounded spasmodically in his seat, making the cords cut deeply into his flesh till, in one of his agonised convulsions, the chair went over backwards with a crash; when, stunned and helpless, the wretched man lay in a wild dream of horror, from which he only awoke to relapse again and again.
Volume One – Chapter Thirteen.
At the County Arms
The people of Somesham, whom Doctor Hardon regulated as to their internal economy, were of opinion that there was not such another town as theirs in the whole kingdom; and no doubt they were right. It was situated at the foot of a range of chalky wolds, and in dry weather always gave the visitors an idea that its inhabitants were a slovenly race, and had not dusted their town lately. There was a long, white, dusty road that led to it on one side, and a long, dusty road that led to or from it on the other side; there was one long, dusty street, with shops and private houses mixed up anyhow; there were a few dusty cross streets which led nowhere; a market-place where pigs squealed and butter was sold on Tuesdays; a town-hall, combined with a corn-exchange and an assembly-room, forming an ugly dust-coloured building, which was like the memoranda and papers in people’s pocket-books when they are advertised as lost – of no value to anyone but the owners; and the sole use it would have been to them was to sell it for old building-materials. There were public-houses, and, above all, a commercial inn, kept by one Mrs Lower, a stout, elderly lady, who had formerly occupied the post of nurse in Octavius Hardon’s house until such times as a nurse was no longer required, when she did needlework, and helped in the domestic concerns till her mistress died, and then acted as housekeeper up to the advent of Agnes Hardon, when one John Lower, keeper of the County Arms in Somesham market-place, persuaded her to say “Yes” to the question he had so many times asked her, and she became landlady of the goodly inn; nurse again to the failing old man her husband; and lastly, sole owner of the goods, chattels, and tenements of the said John Lower, who went to his long sleep with a blessing upon his lips for the good woman who had smoothed the last hours of his life.
Mrs Lower made a very comfortable widow – one whose hostelry was much frequented by commercial gentlemen, and those given to running down from town once or twice a week for the purpose of having a turn with the Low Wold hounds; stout, as a matter of course, for no woman could be expected to make a good landlady who was angular or pointed in her person. Mrs Lower was stout, but not uncomfortably so, and this stoutness she kept in its proper proportion by a comfortable diet, and by being a woman without one of those unpleasant parasites known as cares. Doubtless she had plenty of the little troubles of life to encounter – those little three-cornered affairs that bother everyone – matters that to some people would be cares; but in her case, being a mild, cheerful, and amiable woman, they made but little impression, the consequence being that these acidities of life never ate into her countenance, running down it in wrinkles, and puckers, and channels; and at an age one never dare mention in her presence, or out of it either, for fear of not being believed, she was plump of face, rosy, and comfortable-looking, to an extent that made more than one well-to-do farmer, and tradesman too, make her an offer that she would not accept.
Mrs Lower sat very comfortably enjoying her breakfast in the bar of the County Arms, which bar was a pleasant-looking glass bower, with a view one way of the sawdusty passage leading out into the market-place, and in the other direction a prospect of divers pendent articles of consumption – to wit, a turkey, joints of mutton and beef, poultry, and a couple of long-tailed pheasants. There was a cozy air about Mrs Lower’s bar, for everything in it looked snug, from the big-stomached bottles to the great tom-cat blinking on the hearth-rug. No fireplace ever shone to such an extent as Mrs Lower’s, for it was a very race between black-lead and flame which should glow most, the result being a warm combination, in which the fender, copper tea-kettle, and fire-irons joined, and which every bottle, glass, and object with shine in its composition laughed over and reflected. Everything in Mrs Lower’s cozy bar seemed in keeping, and as if belonging to it – beginning with the principal object animate, Mrs Lower herself, and descending through the blind, fat spaniel and the black, blinking tom-cat, to the stout bullfinch in the cage hung in the window – a finch so fat that he very seldom hopped, while there was a general aspect about him that his feather jacket was too tight, for it never seemed smooth. There was a tradition that this bullfinch used to pipe “God save the King;” but that when William the Fourth died, he went into mourning for him, and had never opened his beak to honour the successor. True or not, Mrs Lower believed it; and at all events, if people doubted the bird’s age, she could declare the part of the story to be true which related to its never opening its beak to pipe the anthem in its altered form.
Mrs Lower mostly had “a snack,” as she termed it, for her breakfast; such snack being generally something very savoury and appetising, and frequently taking the form of mushrooms, devilled drumsticks, or kidneys; while Hides, the butcher in the market-place, had been known to tell fibs, his wife said, on Mrs Lower’s account, and to deny that he had any sweetbreads when even aristocratic customers had wanted them, so that Mrs Lower might not be disappointed. But then Mrs Lower was no mean customer; and Hides said, with a wink to his wife, her money was always there when he wanted it, and that was more than some people’s was who held their heads very high. Mrs Hardon had been heard to say that she believed Hides’ calves never had any sweetbreads – a remark conveyed, per the cook, to Hides himself, at a time when that gentleman evinced very little pleasure in supplying the Hardon house, and always made a point of sending in dry beef and mean tough mutton.
But Mrs Lower could always have sweetbreads, and she was enjoying one cooked to perfection, sipping too, from time to time, a fine rich cup of tea, with an odour of a great-many-spoons-to-the-pot power, when Charles, head – and foot – waiter, made his appearance at the bar-door, with his head on one side, and a sharp cocksparrow-look about him, from his beaky nose, prominent chest, and thin legs, – his tail-coat aiding the simile.
“Heard the news, mem?” said Charles, raising the napkin he carried over his arm, and nearly wiping his nose upon it by mistake.
“No, Charles,” said Mrs Lower, peeping into the pot by raising the lid.
“The whole town, mem, ’s in a – ”
“Take that pot out, Charles, and put in one cupful, – not more, the tea-kettle’s low, and the water’s all furry.”
“Yes, mem; town’s in a fermin, mem, and – ”
“One cupful mind, Charles,” said Mrs Lower, interrupting him.
“Fermin, mem,” continued Charles, “and – ”
“Bless the man, go and fill the pot!” exclaimed Mrs Lower. “No – no! not fill it – one cup, Charles;” and the waiter disappeared.
“And now what’s the matter?” said Mrs Lower blandly, as, somewhat ruffled and reticent, Charles brought back the pot, having forgotten that the most important matter to Mrs Lower at meal-time was the meal itself.
“Matter, mem – why, everything’s the matter – burglary and robbery, and murder almost; and all sorts, mem,” said Charles, again making a dash at his napkin, but recollecting himself in time in favour of a red-silk handkerchief.
“Nonsense!” said Mrs Lower, thoroughly enjoying a piece of the very brownest sweetbread outside, rich in glorious osmazome; “nonsense, Charles!” and so far from being startled, she cut two or three dice-shaped pieces of bread, soaked them in the rich gravy, and went on enjoying her breakfast.
“Fact, mem, I assure you,” said Charles. “That’s what Keenings sent for our fly for, mem.”
“What for? the burglars or the murderers, Charles?” said Mrs Lower composedly.
“No, mem; neither, mem; but ordered it at eight, mem, to go to the Grange, to fetch the doctor, mem.”
“What, Mr Brande?” said Mrs Lower, taking a little more interest in the matter.
“No, mem; old Hardon, mem,” said Charles.
“But he never goes to the Grange, Charles; it’s all a mistake.”
“No, mem, not a bit,” exclaimed Charles. “Jem’s in the yard now, mem, just come back from Hardon’s, and he helped the doctor in and out, too; and Mrs Hardon coming flying down in her dressing-gownd as soon as they got him down home, and a-going on dreadful, and saying it was all a judgment for not forgiving Miss Hagniss; and the doctor taking three men to carry him, being heavy and cold, and almost dead; and Mr Brande’s with him, mem, they say now.” Charles paused for breath.
“But what was it all? what does it mean?” cried Mrs Lower, stirring her tea with her knife.
“Why, mem, that’s what I’m a-telling you: it’s a burglary, you know,” said Charles excitedly. “The Grange attacked by robbers, and the doctor tied in a chair with the clothes-line, and laid down on his back, as Mr Keening and Doctor Brande found him, with a knife stuck in his throat.”
“But not dead?” exclaimed Mrs Lower.
“O, no, mem, only stuck so as he couldn’t speak.”
“And where was Squire Octy?” cried Mrs Lower, quite forgetting the remains of her sweetbread.
“Why, didn’t I tell you, mem? Tied down in another chair, and Mrs Berry, the housekeeper, tied down in her bed, with a blanket over her head, and she got loose at six o’clock this morning, and came over and alarmed the town. Says she’ll never go back any more. Gang of ten ruffians with black faces, and the police are on their tract.”
“But about Squire Octy, Charles. How’s he?”
“Not hurt a mossle, mem, so they says. Jem says that he heard as Mr Keening cut the rope when he went in, and the old gentleman got up and shook hisself, and then took a spoonful of loddlum, and he was all right again directly, and stood laughing at his brother, the doctor, mem, who was strange and bad.”
“And no one knew anything about it?” said Mrs Lower.
“Not a word, mem,” cried Charles, “and it’s a mercy as we weren’t all murdered, I’m sure. And Jem says he saw old Squire Octy laugh when they lifted the doctor into the fly, while he’d got no chain, nor studs, nor rings, as you know he wears a lot of them things, mem.”
Mrs Lower nodded.
“And I hear as all the plate’s gone; and they’ve had the wine, and I don’t know what, mem; but what caps all, mem, was for the squire, old Mr Octy, mem, to be quite laughing like, and Jem says he looks more like an old ghost than anything, mem, with a black-velvet cap and a dressin-gownd.”
A ringing bell summoned Charles away, and, quite forgetful of the remainder of her breakfast, Mrs Lower sat thinking of her old master in his present character of the facsimile of a ghost in a black-velvet cap and a dressing-gown, thinking of the changes in the family, wondering, too, what had become of the doctor’s daughter, Agnes; but above all, of the shabby-looking elderly man whom she always spoke of as “Master Sep.”
Volume One – Chapter Fourteen.
Matt Makes a Discovery
People about Lincoln’s-inn began in these days to turn their heads and look after the shabbily-dressed old printer, who passed them to stop every now and then at a lamp-post, and then go on again, shaking his head like an anglicised mandarin, for old Matt was sorely troubled about the state of affairs in Bennett’s-rents. At times he would be for making a confidant of Mr Sterne, and asking his advice and guidance, but somehow there always seemed a certain amount of suspicion on either side, and Matt and the curate maintained a gap between them which neither attempted to cross. But the old man was after all not unhappy, for he was enjoying that supreme pleasure which fills the heart, making it swell almost painfully – that pleasure which never satiates, while it is like the seed of the parable cast into the ground, some may be blighted, some trampled down, but there are always certain grains which flourish and give to the sower a hundredfold of grain in return. Old Matt was enjoying the pleasure of doing good and helping a fellow-man in distress. It may be questioned whether the old man’s path was ever easier or more brightly irradiated than during his connection with the Hardons. True, his income was of the very smallest; but then it is not the extent of a man’s income that gives him pleasure in this life, but the secret of having all the possible enjoyment out of it. Some with wealth seek for this enjoyment after a wrong fashion, and find only bitterness, while in the homes of poverty joy often finds an abiding-place.
Septimus Hardon often wondered afterwards how they had managed to live in this time of trouble; but one way and another the days passed by. Now he would make a few shillings by his copying, then there was Lucy’s work, while, in spite of remonstrances, old Matt persisted in enjoying his income after his own fashion, playing his little miserable farces to his own satisfaction, and then grinning to himself over the little bits of deceit. He never stopped, shrewd as he was, to ask himself whether his subterfuges were not of the most transparent; they gained him his end, and he considered that it was a novel and a neat way of managing the matter, when a hint at lending money would have given offence.
One day succeeded another, with the family struggling on, Mrs Septimus helping Lucy when she could, while, as for Septimus, the most satisfactory work he obtained was that of copying sermons out for Mr Sterne; though, strange as it may seem, that gentleman never once used Septimus Hardon’s clear, unblurred transcript, but put it away week after week, sighing that his income was not greater.
Septimus had now given up all hope of hearing from his father, and, resigned somewhat to his fate, he bent over his writing-table trying to make up by perseverance what he wanted in ability – a capital plan, and one that has succeeded where talent has made a miserable failure, as old Aesop knew hundreds of years ago. As for asking his uncle for aid, such a thought never crossed Septimus Hardon’s mind, and perhaps it was well, for it spared the poor sensitive man the unpleasantry of a refusal.
One day, all in a hurry and bustle, up came old Matt, just at dinner-time, to find Mrs Septimus making a sorry failure in her attempt to find an invalid’s dinner in some bread and a long slice of cheese that a laundress would easily have seized by mistake, under the impression that it was “best yellow soap.”
“There, just like me!” exclaimed the old man, with a hasty glance round the room; “just like me; but you won’t mind, I know. I always drop in at mealtimes. – There, give us a kiss, my man. God bless you! ‘What I dot for ’oo?’ There’s a pretty way to talk! Why, let’s see; I think there’s something here – down in here somewhere;” and the old man began to dive behind into one of his pockets. “To be sure, here it is!” he cried; “and if all the rich jam isn’t coming through the paper! Here we are,” he cried, bringing out of a little bag a small oval paste-dish with a crimped edge, full of a very luscious treacly-looking preserve, one that, ten minutes before, had been danced over by the flies in the pastrycook’s shop in the Lane.
Off went little Tom rejoicing, to prepare himself for the after-dinner wash by gumming his chubby face and hands with the jam.
“You won’t mind, sir; and, ma’am, I hope?” said Matt apologetically. “But I’m full of work, and haven’t time to go home – my lodgings you know; and if you wouldn’t mind. I’m as hungry as a hunter – money-hunter, you know; and there’s as nice a bit of roast veal and bacon, piping hot, in the Lane as ever I did see, and that’s saying a good deal. Talk about the smell of it! there, you didn’t look in at the shop-door or you’d never give a fellow such a cold-shouldery look, ma’am. Whatever you do, ma’am, lend me a couple of plates; I won’t intrude long.”
Mrs Septimus hesitated and glanced at her husband, who was making a feint of eating.
“There,” cried old Matt, making a grimace, and glancing at Lucy, “I knew it would come to this; they’re growing proud, and I may go. They might have put it off another day, and not showed it just when I feel so well and jolly, and could have enjoyed a bit of dinner, which ain’t often with me.”
Septimus Hardon saw his wife’s appealing glance, and peered about him in every direction, as if to avoid giving an answer; but on one side there was Tom, sticky and happy with the old man’s bounty; before him was his invalid wife, with her wretched face; again, there was Lucy working, and relieving hunger by occasional mouthfuls of the bread-and-cheese at her side; while on turning his eyes in another direction, there stood Matt, just as he had stood on the day when he borrowed a shilling on their first encounter.
What was he to do? He had as much pride, or false pride, as most men, and he would gladly have been independent of old Matt’s assistance; but there seemed no help for it, and once more in his life, humbled and mortified, he nodded to Mrs Septimus; and the next moment old Matt stood irresolutely by the table clattering a couple of plates together, to the great endangering of their safety, as he seemed to be turning them into a pair of earthenware cymbals.
“There, sir; don’t, now,” said Matt earnestly; “don’t let’s have any more pretence or nonsense about it; don’t be put out because I’m doing this, sir. ’Tain’t that I don’t respect you; I didn’t get on the stilts, sir, when you helped me. I asked you for it, which is a thing I know you couldn’t do; but when it’s offered you free and humble-like, don’t take on, sir, and fancy I respect you any the less. I sha’n’t forget my place, sir, ’pon my soul I sha’n’t, begging your pardon, ma’am, and Miss Lucy’s; but you see I’m in earnest, and it worries me to see Mr Hardon here put out, because – because – Well, you know,” said Matt, with a twinkle in his eye, “because an old battered type of humanity like me wants to sit down and have a bit of dinner here, and it’s all getting spoilt; best cut’s gone, you know, I’m sure. I know I am shabby.”
Septimus waved his hand deprecatingly.
“There, sir; there,” continued Matt; “don’t be down; don’t let the world see as there’s no more fight in you. See what a son and daughter you’ve got. Why, God bless ’em, they’re enough to make a man of a chap if he’s ever so bad. Never say die, sir. I’m often in the downs, I am, you know; but then I say to the world, ‘Come on, and let’s have it out at once and done with it.’ Let’s take it like a dose of physic, and then have the sugar that’s to come and take the taste out of one’s mouth afterwards. Sure to be a bit of sugar to come some time, you know, sir; some gets more than others, but then there’s always a share for you if you won’t be soft enough to get your mouth out of taste and fancy it’s bitter when it comes, and so not enjoy it. Lots do, you know, sir; while lots more, sir, think so much of their sugar of life, sir, that they spoil it, sir, – foul it, and damp it, and turn it into a muddy, sticky, dirty treacle, sir; and then, sir, loving nothing but pleasure, – or sugar, as we call it, – how they buzz about it like so many flies, till they are surfeited and get their legs and wings fixed, and die miserably, sir. Sugar’s no good, sir, unless you have a taste of bitter before it. You don’t want to be having all pleasure, you know; it wouldn’t do. Bound the wheel of fortune, you know, sir; now down, now up, just as times go.”
All these meant-to-be-philosophical remarks old Matt accompanied by a cymbalic tune upon the two plates, while Septimus sat moody and silent.
“Now, you see, sir,” said Matt gently, “I know what you feel, – you don’t like having such a battered old hulk about your place, and feel a bit offended at me for imposing upon your good-nature.”
Septimus made a gesture of dissent.
“Well then, sir, we won’t play with the matter. You don’t like my having a bit of dinner here, and all that sort of thing; but don’t you make no mistake, sir, I ain’t kicked about in a selfish world all these years without ketching the complaint. I was never vaccinated against selfishness, sir, so I’ve took it badly, I can tell you. You may look out, sir, for I’ve a long score chalked up against you, and you’ll have it some day.”
And then old Matt stuck his hat on very fiercely and shuffled out of the room, muttering and chuckling as he went down, “Ho, ho, ho! – creditor! New position for me as have been in debt all my life!”
The old man soon returned after his fashion, bringing in a large portion of the veal and bacon from the cook-shop in the Lane; for the best cuts were not all gone. Then followed the old farce of what he called his chronometric complaint, from its always coming on just at mealtimes; and helping himself to a slice of bread, in spite of all appeals, the old man took a sticky kiss from Tom and shuffled out of the room.
It was a sight worth seeing – the satisfaction of that grim old man, as he went chuckling down the creaking stairs, and out into the court. His was not the shape a painter would have chosen for the embodiment of gratitude; but there it was – even the battered, ill-used carcass of that old printer – a body misused by the hard world till he had grown careless of it himself, and misused it in his turn. Alone in the world, what had he to care for beyond a little present enjoyment? For as to the future, it is to be feared that Mr Sterne would have pronounced him as being beneath a dense black cloud. Twice was the old man stopped by lamp-posts, but he recollected himself and continued his route to where the open door of the cook-shop sent out a thick, kitcheny vapour, pleasant or the reverse, according to whose organs it assailed – to the well-fed perhaps disgusting, but to the poor and hungry an odour as of paradise. There upon the shining pewter dishes, that in the early morn had been such a dry metallic desert, were now displayed, in gravy-oozing majesty, what Matt looked upon as all the delicacies of the season. There were round of beef and brisket, boiled; roast leg, shoulder, and loin of mutton; roast beef, and the remains of the veal; while as to gravy – whence comes the gravy that meanders in streams over cook-shop joints, flooding the dishes, and making glad the hearts of the hungry? – there was gravy to an extent never known in private life, for the joints soaked in the tissue-renovating fluid.
Ah! that fat cook-shop-keeper, as he wielded his long-bladed, keen carver, and equitably and glibly sliced it through fat and lean, well-done, under-done, and brown, with a facility that made one think he had been apprenticed to a ham in the palmy days of Vauxhall – dealing with the porcine joint with similar intentions to those of the gold-beater with his morsel of the yellow ore. Ah! that fat, rosy-faced man in the white cap and jacket had much to answer for in the way of tempting hungry sinners. Fat! he might well be fat, for was he not existing upon the very essences of the meats always beneath his nostrils, which must have inhaled sustaining wealth at every breath he drew, to the saving of both teeth and digestion?
But he did not tempt old Matt, who entered and asked for a “small German,” for which he paid twopence, asking no questions regarding its composition, while it was delivered to him after the fashion that buns are presented to our old ursine friends at the “Zoo” – stuck at the end of a fork.
Old Matt turned his back stolidly upon the luxuries of the cook-shop, strolled into the big street, and began to nibble his small German, in company with the dusty, fluey slice of bread he brought out of his pocket. There was a parish pump there, with its swinging copper handle; and regardless of medical reports, and chemical analyses, and cholera germs contained in the clear, sparkling fluid, old Matt had a hearty draught, and smacked his lips after as if he enjoyed it – and doubtless he did. There was the prospect of a murky old inn down a gateway, and the busy throng of people passing him; but Matt noticed nothing, for his thoughts were upon matters in Bennett’s-rents – though, for all that, he was enjoying his simple meal, which was eaten without a thought of the prime veal and bacon, or his sad complaint, which had now fled till next dinner-time, as, by way of amusement, he turned down Castle-street to witness the performance of a gentleman in tights and spangles – a gentleman evidently high in his profession, but blessed with a nose of the Whitechapel mould, black, greasy, tucked-under hair, confined by a blue ribbon, slightly oiled; a pimply face, and a body apparently furnished with gristle in the place of bones.
As Matt came up, the gentleman was balancing a peacock’s feather upon the tip of his nose, to the accompaniment of a popular air performed by a partner upon drum and pan-pipes – the arrangement of the air apparently necessitating more muscular action with the arms than from the lungs; for though now and then a shrill and piercing note was heard from the pipes, it was not often, while the rumble of the beaten drum was incessant. The next performance was the balancing and twirling of a barrel on the acrobat’s feet, he all that time lying down upon a cushion in a very uncomfortable, determination-of-the-blood-to-the-head position, what time the band, tucking his pipes inside his coat and setting his drum on end, came round the attentive circle, shaking the performer’s greasy, private-life cap in the observers’ faces, after the fashion of zealous deacons in churches of high proclivities – save that in this case the cap was of very common cloth, while in the other the little bags would probably be of red velvet, lined with white satin.