91
Have you noticed the Wires under your seats, children? They are called Hat Racks. Some silly people say they Are nerve racking. They are put under The seats to hold person's Hats. It Never takes more than fifteen Minutes to get a hat into one, but You can get a hat out in Half an hour! If you want to Make your Tall hat look like a Derby put it In a hat rack. The man who Invented them knew how to take Care of a hat, for the Rack is so arranged that the Hat will fall down on to the Dusty floor, just when somebody is Going to stick his Feet out under your Chair.
92
Wait till all the Other folks are gone, my dears, so that we can See the Sweeper. Ah, here he is. He is the man who sweeps out the Theatre. Notice how gently he Puts the chair seats up. If any one should lose their Diamonds, and he Were to find them, would He turn them in at the Box office? Of course he would! Sometimes he Finds umbrellas. What does he do with those?—Ah, well, even the poor should Lay something away for a Rainy day. The Box-office man will Tell you that the Sweeper once found a set of False teeth and Turned them in.
93
Here we have the Foreign Artiste. See; a reporter is going to Interview her. She says bon jour to the Reporter. That is so he will Know she is French. If we listen we will hear Her talk about "gay Par-ee and ze Nobilitee she have met on ze Continong." What a beautiful accent she Has. The reporter is Smiling. When he comes out he Will say that she was Born in Ireland and that her Right name is Murphy. But then, of course, Reporters always think they Know everything. Ah, the Foreign Artiste has lost her Handkerchief. Is the language she Uses now, French?
94
The really Great Actress is going to Europe. Her friends are all down to See her off. They have brought huge Bunches of flowers labelled "Bon Voyage." With all the Candy she has, she ought to have a bon bon Voyage. She will go to London first, she Says. Will she stay in London long? Oh, yes; she will get a Little room in Bloomsbury and Cook her own meals. When she comes Back she will tell of the Delightfully Bohemian customs of the English. Will she enjoy her Trip to Europe? Rahther!
95
Oh, look! the actor is putting on his Shirt. Don't you remember how Clean and white it Looked last night? But this shirt is Dirty. Or are these stains of toil? Surely the Actor will not wear this shirt Again. Do not take too much for Granted, children. Clean shirts are a Very expensive Luxury. If the actor were a Manager now, he Might wear a clean shirt Every night. Managers always have Money, but Actors put so Much in the Bank that they can not afford many Clean shirts. And, besides, what's the use?
96
Did you notice the Check room? Isn't it a lovely arrangement? There is Absolutely no charge. The programme says so. When you check your Overcoat, Johnny, be sure and Leave your change in the Pocket. Then you will know Where it is. Do not think of Asking for your Overcoat again Until the next morning. You might inconvenience the Boy in charge if you did and then he Might make you Wait. There is no Charge for checking, but If you were to Give the Boy anything for himself he Would be very grateful. He might even say Thank you.
97
This is a Sad sight that greets us, Little children. Do you know What it is? It is the newspaper man who has to Go to all the Theatres every night. He must do this so that If there is anything doing it will be In the papers. Is there anything Doing to-night? Yes; the Actors are doing the Managers and the Managers are doing the public. Do the public Like to be done? There is no such thing as the Public, children; each Man thinks he is too wise to be Done. But the newspaper man; what About him? Ah, that is the Sad part of it. The press agents Do him every time they Get a chance.
98
Let us look into the actor's Trunk. It has just been Brought up to the Dressing room. The poor actor; he must have Packed his trunk in a Great hurry. See; here is a Panama hat that he Wears in the First scene, right on Top. The place for hats is the Bottom of the trunk. Johnny, take the Things all out and We will re-pack the trunk. There now; that's much better. Everything that was on top is now on the Bottom. How Glad the actor will be when he sees what We have done. He will come in in a Hurry and will be Tickled to death. In spite of his hurry He will try to find us so that he can Thank us.
99
The hotel Clerk has been to see the Show. He is trying to Make an impression on the Soubrette. He sent her a Big bunch of Flowers and a Little note. He would like to Take her to Supper. Does he Know the Soubrette? Oh, dear, no. He has never seen her Off the stage. He will wait at the Stage door for Her and will Wear a big Carnation in his Buttonhole. The man With the broad Shoulders will be there, Too. The Soubrette will call the Latter "Pop" and will introduce the two Men. Then the Hotel clerk will say how Pleased he will be to Buy supper for Three.
100
Step softly, children dear; the actor is dying. He has played many parts in his life and has made many enemies. Some of them are gathered round him now; the others have always been his friends. Once he was rich, but of late he has been poor. His friends and enemies alike have helped him. They have given their services at benefits and have visited him. Some who have spoken harshly of him are sorry now, and they say so. Are there many people as good to their kind as actors and actresses?