Mrs. Roberts, bustling into the dining-room and reappearing with a tumbler and a decanter: "The very thing, Amy! And thank you so much. Trying to make Edward remember seems to put everything out of my head! I might have thought of whiskey, though! If it's only loss of sleep, it will wake him up, and if it's grippe, it's the most nourishing thing in the world."

Roberts: "I'm not going to have the grippe, Agnes."

Mrs. Roberts: "Edward! Don't boast! You may be stricken down in an instant. I heard of one person who was taken so suddenly she hadn't time to get her things off, and tumbled right on the bed. You must put some water in it, of course; and hot water is very soothing. You can use some out of the pipes; it's perfectly good."

Mrs. Campbell: "Agnes, are you never coming?"

Roberts: "Yes, go along, Agnes, do! I shall get on quite well, now. You needn't wait."

Mrs. Roberts: "Oh, if I could only stay and think for you, dearest! But I can't, and you must do the best you can. Do keep repeating it all over! It's the only way – "

Mrs. Campbell, from the door: "Agnes!"

Mrs. Roberts: "Amy, I'm coming instantly."

Mrs. Campbell: "I declare I shall go without you!"

Mrs. Roberts: "And I shouldn't blame you a bit, Amy! And if it turns out to be the grippe, Edward, don't lose an instant. Send for the doctor as fast as the district messenger can fly; give him his car fare, and let one come for me; and jump into bed and cover up warm, and keep up the nourishment with the whiskey; there's another bottle in the sideboard; and perhaps you'd better break a raw egg in it. I heard of one person that they gave three dozen raw eggs a day to in typhoid fever, and even then he died; so you must nourish yourself all you can. And – "

Mrs. Campbell: "Agnes! I'm going!"

Mrs. Roberts: "I'm coming! Edward!"

Roberts: "Well?"

Mrs. Roberts: "There is something else, very important. And I can't think of it!"

Roberts: "Liebig's extract of beef?"

Mrs. Roberts, distractedly: "No, no! And it wasn't oysters, either, though they're very nourishing, too. Oh, dear! What – "

Mrs. Campbell: "Going, Agnes!"

Mrs. Roberts: "Coming, Amy! Try to think of something else that I ought to remember, Edward!"

Roberts: "Some word to the girls when they come in?"

Mrs. Roberts: "No!"

Roberts: "About the children, something?"

Mrs. Roberts: "No, no!"

Roberts: "Willis, then; what Amy wants him to do?"

Mrs. Roberts: "Oh, no, no! I shall surely die if I can't think of it!"

Mrs. Campbell, at the door of the apartment: "Gone!"

Mrs. Roberts, flying after her, as the door closes with a bang: "Oh, Amy! how can you be so heartless? She's driven it quite out of my head!"

II

Mr. Willis Campbell: "Hello, hello, hello! Oh, hello, hello, hello! Wake up, in there! Roberts, wake up! Sound the loud timbrel! Fire, murder, and sudden death! Wake up! Monday morning, you know; here's Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, all gone and nothing done! Come, arouse thee, my merry Swiss boy! Take thy pail and to labor away! All aboard! Train for Newton, West Newton, Newtonville, Auburndale, Riverside, and Newton Lower Falls, on track No. 5. Express to Newton. Wake up, Roberts! Here's McIlheny, out here, wants to know why you took his wife for a cook. Hurry up! he can't wait. Wake up, you old seven-by-nine sleeper, you, or Mrs. Miller's musicale will just simply expire on the spot. Come! It's after ten o'clock now, or it will be in about five minutes. Hurry up! Hello, hello, hello!" Campbell accompanies his appeals with a tempest of knocks, thumps, and bangs on the outside of Roberts's chamber door. Within, Roberts is discovered, at first stretched on his bed in profound repose, which becomes less and less perfect as Campbell's blows and cries penetrate to his consciousness. He moves, groans, drops back into slumber, groans again, coughs, sits up on the bed, where he has thrown himself with all his clothes on, and listens. "I say, aren't you going to Mrs. Miller's? If you are, you'd better get out of bed some time before the last call for breakfast. Now ready in the dining-car!"

Roberts, leaping out of bed and flinging open the door: "Why, I've been to Mrs. Miller's!"

Campbell, entering with his hat on, and his overcoat on his arm; "Oh no, you haven't, you poor, suffering creature! That was a heavenly dream! Why, good gracious, man, you're not dressed!" Campbell is himself in perfectly appointed evening-dress, and he stares in dismay at the travelling-suit which Roberts still wears. "You can't go in that figure, you know. You might to Mrs. Curwen's, but you'd give Mrs. Miller deadly offence; she'd think the Curwen had put you up to it. Didn't Agnes tell you I'd be here at ten for you? What have you been doing with yourself? I supposed I should find you walking up and down here, fuming with impatience."

Roberts: "I was dead tired, and after Agnes went, I just threw myself down here for a moment's rest, and I was off before I knew it – "

Campbell: "Well, then, hustle! There's no time to lose. We shall be late, but I guess we can get there in time to save Agnes's life if we hump ourselves. Are you shaved?"

Roberts: "Yes, I thought I'd better shave before I lay down – "

Campbell: "Well, then, that's half the battle, and you ought to be into your dress-suit in five minutes; but you're an intellectual man, and your fingers are all thumbs, and so I'll give you ten minutes. Hello! What's this?" In speaking of shaving, Campbell has mechanically cast his eye towards the bureau, and has gradually become aware of the half-tumbler of water and the decanter of whiskey which Roberts has left standing there. He pounces upon the decanter, pulls out the stopple, and applies his nose to the mouth. "Ah, ha! This is the milk in the cocoanut, is it? No wonder you slept soundly, and had sweet dreams? Well, Roberts!"

Roberts: "No, no, Willis! I solemnly assure you I haven't touched a drop of it!"

Campbell: "Oh yes! I know! That's what they always say!"

Roberts: "But I tell you, Willis – "

Campbell: "Oh, all right, my boy! I don't blame you! You have never fallen before, probably, but you're down this time, old man. You have every appearance of being grossly intoxicated, as the reporters say, at this instant. Look how red your eyes are!"

Roberts: "It's loss of sleep. I tell you I haven't tasted the whiskey."

Campbell: "But it's half gone!" He lifts the decanter and shows. "Well, I hope Agnes may never know it, and your poor children, Roberts – "

Roberts: "Nonsense! Agnes knows all about it. She brought me the decanter herself. She and Amy thought it would freshen me up. But I distrusted it; I was afraid the effect would be soporific – "

Campbell: "And it seems you were perfectly right. Events have proved it. But come, now, don't sit there all night, old fellow." Roberts has sunk upon the edge of the bed. "We've got to be off to this scene of maddening gayety at Mrs. Miller's. Want a wet towel round your head? Nothing like it, you know!"

Roberts, with dignity: "Thank you, I don't need any wet towel, and I'll be with you in a few moments, if you'll kindly wait." He moves towards the door of his dressing-room.

Campbell, cheerfully: "Oh, I'll stay by, Roberts; you needn't be afraid. There's nothing mean about me, and you'll want somebody to pull you together, now and then, and I know just what to do; I've been through this kind of thing with lots of fellows in California. I know the haughty and self-helpful stage. You're all right, Roberts. But don't lose time. What's the matter now?" Roberts has come back from his dressing-room and is staring vacantly at Campbell.