“How could you, sir? Don’t all your womankind write that sort of up-and-down bristly hand, more like a prickly-pear fence than a Christian’s writin’? It’s all of a piece with your Old-World civilization, which tries to make people alike, as the eggs in a basket; but they ain’t like, for all that. No, sir, nor will any fixin’ make ‘em so!”
“I have certainly seen it before,” muttered Layton to himself.
“I ‘m main curious to know how your father found out the ‘pyson,’ – ain’t it all there?”
“Oh, it was a long and very intricate chemical investigation.”
“Did he bile him?”
“Boil him? No,” said he, with difficulty restraining a laugh;’ ‘certainly not.”
“Well, they tell me, sir, there ain’t no other sure way to discover it. They always bile ‘em in France!”
“I am so puzzled by this hand,” muttered Alfred, half aloud.
Quackinboss, equally deep in his own speculations, proceeded to give an account of the mode of inquiry pursued by Frenchmen of science in cases of poisoning, which certainly would have astonished M. Orfila, and was only brought back from this learned disquisition by Layton’s questioning him about “Peddar’s Clearings.”
“Yes, sir,” said he, “it is con-siderable of a tract, and lies between two rivers. There ‘s the lines for a new city – Pentacolis – laid down there; and the chief town, ‘Measles,’ is a thriving location. My cousin, O. B. Quackinboss, did n’t stump out less than eighty dollars an acre for his clearin’, and there’s better land than his there.”
“So far as appears, then, this is an extensive property which is spoken of here?”
“Well, sir, I expect it’s a matter of half a million of dollars now, though, mayhap, twenty thousand bought it fifteen or sixteen years back.”
“I wonder what steps my father took in this affair? I ‘ll be very curious to know if he interested himself in the matter; for, with his indolent habits, it is just as likely that he never moved in it further.”
“A ‘tarnal shame, then, for him, sir, when it was for a child left alone and friendless in the world; and I’m thinkin’ indolence ain’t the name to give it.”
For a moment an angry impulse to reply stirred Layton’s blood, but he refrained, and said nothing.
“I’ll go further,” resumed the American, “and I’ll say that if your father did neglect this duty, you are bound to look to it. Ay, sir, there ain’t no ways in this world of getting out of what we owe one to another. We are most of us ready enough to be ‘generous,’ but few take trouble to be ‘just.’”
“I believe you are right,” said Layton, reflectively.
“I know it, sir, – I know it,” said the other, resolutely. “There’s a sort of flattery in doing something more than we are obliged to do which never comes of doing what is strict fair. Ay,” added he, after a moment, “and I ‘ve seen a man who ‘d jump into the sea to save a fellow-creature as would n’t give a cent to a starving beggar on dry land.”
“I ‘ll certainly inquire after this claim, and you ‘ll help me, Quackinboss?”
“Yes, sir; and there ain’t no honester man in all the States to deal with than Harvey Winthrop. I was with him the day he cowhided Senator Jared Boles, of Massachusetts, and when I observed, ‘I think you have given him enough,’ he said, ‘Well, sir, though I have n’t the honor of knowing you, if that be your conscientious opinion, I ‘ll abstain from going further;’ and he did, and we went into the bar together, and had a mint julep.”
“The trait is worth remembering,” said Layton, dryly. “Here’s another reason to cross the Atlantic,” cried he, with something of his former energy of voice and look.
“Here’s a great cause to sustain and a problem to work out. Shall we go at once?”
“There’s the ‘Asia’ to sail on Wednesday, and I ‘m ready,” said Quackinboss, calmly.
“Wednesday be it, then,” cried Layton, with a gayety that showed how the mere prospect of activity and exertion had already cheered him.
CHAPTER XXX. TWIST, TROVER, AND CO
They whose notions of a banker are formed on such home models as Overend and Gurney and Drummond, and the other princes o’ that ilk, will be probably not a little shocked to learn by what inferior dignitaries the great craft is represented abroad; your English banker in a foreign city being the most extraordinary agglomeration of all trades it is well possible to conceive, combining within himself very commonly the duties of house-agent, wine-merchant, picture-dealer, curiosity-vendor, with agencies for the sale of india-rubber shoes, Cuban cigars, and cod-liver oil. He will, at a moment’s notice, start you with a whole establishment from kitchen to stable, and, equally ready to do the honors of this world or the next, he will present you in society, or embalm you with every careful direction for your conveyance “homeward.” Well judging that in dealing thus broadly with mankind a variety of tastes and opinions must be consulted, they usually hunt in couples, one doing the serious, the other taking the light comedy parts. The one is the grave, calm, sensible man, with his prudent reserves and his cautious scruples; the other, a careless dog, who only “discounts” out of fun, and charges you “commission” in mere pastime and lightness of heart.
Imagine the heavy father and the light rake of comedy conspiring for some common object, and you have them. Probably the division-of-labor science never had a happier illustration than is presented by their agreement. Who, I ask you, – who can escape the double net thus stretched for his capture? Whatever your taste or temperament, you must surely be approachable by one or the other of these.
What Trover cannot, Twist will be certain to accomplish; where Twist fails, there Trover is sovereign. “Ah, you ‘ll have to ask my partner about that,” is the stereotyped saying of each. It was thus these kings of Brentford sniffed at the same nosegay, the world, and, sooth to say, to their manifest self-satisfaction and profit. If the compact worked well for all the purposes of catching clients, it was more admirable still in the difficult task of avoiding them. Strange and exceptional must his station in life be to whom the secret intelligences of Twist or Trover could not apply. Were we about to dwell on these gentlemen and their characteristics, we might advert to the curious fact that though their common system worked so smoothly and successfully, they each maintained for the other the most disparaging opinion, Twist deeming Trover a light, thoughtless, inconsiderate creature, Trover returning the compliment by regarding his partner as a bigoted, low-minded, vulgar sort of fellow, useful behind the desk, but with no range of speculation or enterprise about him.
Our present scene is laid at Mr. Trover’s villa near Florence. It stands on the sunny slope of Fiezole, and with a lovely landscape of the Val d’ Arno at its feet. O ye gentles, who love to live at ease, to inhale an air odorous with the jasmine and the orange-flower, – to gaze on scenes more beautiful than Claude ever painted, – to enjoy days of cloudless brightness, and nights gorgeous in starry brilliancy, why do ye not all come and live at Fiezole? Mr. Trover’s villa is now to let, though this announcement is not inserted as an advertisement. There was a rumor that it was once Boccaccio’s villa. Be that as it may, it was a pretty, coquettish little place, with a long terrace in front, under which ran an orangery, a sweet, cool, shady retreat in the hot noon-time, with a gushing little fountain always rippling and hissing among rock-work. The garden sloped away steeply. It was a sort of wilderness of flowers and fruit-trees, little cared for or tended, but beautiful in the wild luxuriance of its varied foliage, and almost oppressive in its wealth of perfume. Looking over this garden, and beyond it again, catching the distant domes of Florence, the tall tower of the Palazzo Vecchio, and the massive block of the Pitti, was a small but well-proportioned room whose frescos were carried from wall to ceiling by a gentle arch of the building, in which were now seated three gentlemen over their dessert. Mr. Trover’s guests were our acquaintances Stocmar and Ludlow Paten. The banker and the “Impresario” were very old friends; they had done “no end of shrewd things” together. Paten was a new acquaintance. Introduced however by Stocmar, he was at once admitted to all the intimacy of his host, and they sat there, in the free indulgence of confidence, discussing people, characters, events, and probabilities, as three such men, long case-hardened with the world’s trials, well versed in its wiles, may be supposed to do. Beneath the great broad surface of this life of ours, with its apparent impulses and motives, there is another stratum of hard stern realities, in which selfish motives and interested actions have their sphere. These gentlemen lived entirely in this layer, and never condescended to allude to what went on elsewhere. If they took a very disparaging view of life, it was not so much the admiration they bestowed on knavery as the hearty contempt they entertained for whatever was generous or trustful. Oh, how they did laugh at the poor “muffs” who believed in anything or any one! To listen to them was to declare that there was not a good trait in the heart, nor an honest sentiment which had not its origin in folly. And the stupid dog who paid his father’s debts, and the idiot that beggared himself to portion his sisters, and the wretched creature who was ruined by giving security for his friend, all figured in a category despised and ridiculed!
“Were they happy in this theory?” you ask, perhaps. It is very hard to answer the question. They were undoubtedly what is called “jolly;” they laughed much, and seemed marvellously free from care and anxiety.
“And so, Trover,” said Stocmar, as he sipped his claret luxuriously, – “and so you tell me this is a bad season with you out here, – few travellers, no residents, and little stirring in the way of discounts and circular notes.”
“Wretched! miserable!” cried the banker. “The people who come out from England nowadays are mostly small twenty-pounders, looking sharp to the exchanges, and watching the quotations like money-brokers.”
“Where are the fast men all gone to? That is a problem puzzles me much,” said Paten.
“They have gone over to Puseyism, and stained glass, and Saint Winifred’s shin-bones, and early Christian art,” broke in Stocmar. “I know them well, and their velvet paletots cut in the mediaeval fashion, and their hair cut straight over the forehead.”
“How slow a place must become with such fellows!” sighed Paten.
“The women are mostly pretty; they dress with a sort of quaint coquetry very attractive, and they have a kind of demure slyness about them, with a fascination all its own.”
“We have the exact type you describe here at this moment now,” said the banker. “She never goes into society, but steals furtively about the galleries, making copies of old Giottos, and such-like, and even penetrating into the monasteries with a special permission from the Cardinal-Secretary to examine the frescos.”
“Is she young? Is she pretty?” asked Stocmar.
“She is both, and a widow, I believe, – at least, her letters come to the bank addressed Mrs. Penthony Morris.”
Paten started, but a slight kick under the table from Stocmar recalled him to caution and self-possession.
“Tell us more about her, Trover; all that you know, in fact.”
“Five words will suffice for that. She lives here with the family of a certain Sir William Heathcote, and apparently exercises no small influence amongst them; at least, the tradespeople tell me they are referred to her for everything, and all the letters we get about transfers of stock, and suchlike, are in her hand.”
“You have met her, and spoken with her, I suppose?” asked Stocmar.
“Only once. I waited upon her, at her request, to confer with her about her daughter, whom she had some intention of placing at the Conservatoire at Milan, as a preparation for the stage, and some one had told her that I knew all the details necessary.”
“Have you seen the girl?”
“Yes, and heard her sing. Frightened enough she was, poor thing; but she has a voice like Sontag’s, just a sort of mellow, rich tone they run upon just now, and with a compass equal to Malibran’s.”
“And her look?”
“Strikingly handsome. She is very young; her mother says nigh sixteen, but I should guess her at under fifteen certainly. I thought at once of writing to you, Stocmar, when I saw her. I know how eagerly you snatch up such a chance as this; but as you were on your way out, I deferred to mention her till you came.”
“And what counsel did you give her, Trover?”
“I said, ‘By all means devote her to the Opera. It is to women, in our age, what the career of politics is to men, the only royal road to high ambition.’”
“That is what I tell all my young prime donne,” said Stocmar. “I never fail to remind them that any débutante may live to be a duchess.”
“And they believe you?” asked Paten.
“To be sure they do. Why, man, there is an atmosphere of credulity about a theatre that makes one credit anything, except what is palpably true. Every manager fancies he is making a fortune; every tenor imagines he is to marry a princess; and every fiddler in the orchestra firmly believes in the time when a breathless audience will be listening to his ‘solo.’”
“I wish, with all my heart, I was on the stage, then,” exclaimed Paten. “I should certainly like to imbibe some of this sanguine spirit.”
“You are too old a dram-drinker, Ludlow, to be intoxicated with such light tipple,” said Stocmar. “You have tasted of the real ‘tap.’”
“That have I,” said he, with a sigh that told how intensely he felt the words; and then, as if to overcome the sad impression, he asked, “And the girl, is she to take to the stage?”
“I believe Stocmar will have to decide the point; at least, I told her mother that he was on his way to Italy, and that his opinion on such a matter might be deemed final. Our friend here,” continued Trover, as he pointed laughingly to Stocmar, – “our friend here buys up these budding celebrities just as Anderson would a yearling colt, and, like him too, would reckon himself well paid if one succeed in twenty.”
“Ay, one in fifty, Trover,” broke in Stocmar. “It is quite true. Many a stone does not pay for the cutting; but as we always get the lot cheap, we can afford to stand the risk.”
“She’s a strange sort of woman, this Mrs. Morris,” said Trover, after a pause, “for she seems hesitating between the Conservatoire and a convent.”
“Is the girl a Catholic?”
“No; but her mother appears to consider that as a minor circumstance; in fact, she strikes me as one of those people who, when they determine to go to a place, are certain to cut out a road for themselves.”
“That she is!” exclaimed Paten.
“Oh, then, you are acquainted with her?” cried Trover.
“No, no,” said he, hurriedly. “I was merely judging from your description of her. Such a woman as you have pictured I can imagine, just as if I had known her all my life.”
“I should like to see both mother and daughter,” broke in Stocmar.
“I fancy she will have no objection; at least, she said to me, ‘You will not fail to inform me of your friend Mr. Stocmar’s arrival here;’ and I promised as much.”
“Well, you must arrange our meeting speedily, Trover, for I mean to be at Naples next week, at Barcelona and Madrid the week after. The worthy Public, for whose pleasure I provide, will, above all things, have novelty, – excellence, if you can, but novelty must be procured them.”
“Leave it to me, and you shall have an interview tomorrow or the day after.”
A strange telegraphic intelligence seemed to pass from Paten to the manager, for Stocmar quickly said, “By the way, don’t drop any hint that Paten is with me; he has n’t got the best of reputations behind the scenes, and it would, perhaps, mar all our arrangements to mention him.”
Trover put a finger to his lips in sign of secrecy, and said, “You are right there. She repeatedly questioned me on the score of your own morality, Stocmar, expressing great misgivings about theatrical folk generally.”
“Take my word for it, then, the lady is a fast one herself,” said Stocmar; “for, like the virtuous Pangloss, she knows what wickedness is.”
“It is deuced hard to say what she is,” broke in Trover. “My partner, Twist, declares she must have been a stockbroker or a notary public. She knows the whole share-list of Europe, and can quote you the ‘price current’ of every security in the Old World or the New; not to say that she is deeply versed in all the wily relations between the course of politics and the exchanges, and can surmise, to a nicety, how every spoken word of a minister can react upon the money-market.”
“She cannot have much to do with such interests, I take it,” said Paten, in assumed indifference.
“Not upon her own account, certainly,” replied Trover; “but such is her influence over this old Baronet, that she persuades him to sell out here, and buy in there, just as the mood inclines her.”
“And is he so very rich?” asked Stocmar.
“Twist thinks not; he suspects that the money all belongs to a certain Miss Leslie, the ward of Sir William, but who came of age a short time back.”
“Now, what may her fortune be?” said Stocmar, in a careless tone; “in round numbers, I mean, and not caring for a few thousands more or less.”
“I have no means of knowing. I can only guess it must be very large. It was only on Tuesday last she bought in about seven-and-twenty thousand ‘Arkansas New Bonds,’ and we have an order this morning to transfer thirty-two thousand more into Illinois ‘Sevens.’”
“All going to America!” cried Paten. “Why does she select investment there?”
“That’s the widow’s doing. She says that the Old World is going in for a grand smash. That Louis Napoleon will soon have to throw off the mask, and either avow himself the head of the democracy, or brave its vengeance, and that either declaration will be the signal for a great war. Then she assumes that Austria, pushed hard for means to carry on the struggle, will lay hands on the Church property of the empire, and in this way outrage all the nobles whose families were pensioned off on these resources, thus of necessity throwing herself on the side of the people. In a word, she looks for revolution, convulsion, and a wide-spread ruin, and says the Yankees are the only people who will escape. I know little or nothing of such matters myself, but she sent Twist home t’ other day in such a state of alarm that he telegraphed to Turin to transfer all his ‘Sardinians’ into ‘New Yorkers,’ and has been seriously thinking of establishing himself in Broadway.”
“I wish she ‘d favor me with her views about theatrical property,” said Stocmar, with a half sneer, “and what is to become of the Grand Opera in the grand smash.”
“Ask her, and she’ll tell you,” cried Trover. “You’ll never pose her with a difficulty; she ‘ll give you a plan for paying off the national debt, tell you how to recruit the finances of India, conduct the Chinese war, or oppose French intrigues in Turkey, while she stitches away at her Berlin work. I give you my word, while she was finishing off the end of an elephant’s snout in brown worsted, t’ other day, she restored the Murats to Naples, gave Sicily to Russia, and sent the Pope, as head of a convict establishment, to Cayenne.”
“Is she a little touched in the upper story?” asked Stocmar, laying his finger on his forehead.
“Twist says not. Twist calls her the wiliest serpent he ever saw, but not mad.”
“And now a word about the daughter,” cried Stocmar. “What’s the girl like?”
“Pretty, – very pretty; long eyelashes, very regular features, a beautiful figure; and the richest auburn hair I ever saw, but, with all that, none of the mother’s esprit, – no smartness, no brilliancy. In fact, I should call her a regular mope.”
“She is very young, remember,” broke in Stocmar.
“That’s true; but with such a clever mother, if she really had any smartness, it would certainly show itself. Now, it is not only that she displays no evidence of superior mind, but she wears an air of depression and melancholy that seems like a sort of confession of her own insufficiency, so Twist says, and Twist is very shrewd as to character.”
“I can answer for it, he’s devilish close-fisted as to money,” said Stocmar, laughing.
“I remember,” chimed in Trover; “he told me that you came into the bank with such a swaggering air, and had such a profusion of gold chains, rings, and watch-trinkets, that he set you down for one of the swell-mob out on a tour.”
“Civil, certainly,” said Stocmar, “but as little flattering to his own perspicuity as to myself. But I’ll never forget the paternal tone in which he whispered me afterwards, ‘Whenever you want a discount, Mr. Stocmar, from a stranger, – an utter stranger, – don’t wear an opal pin set in brilliants; it don’t do, I assure you it don’t’.” Stocmar gave such a close imitation of the worthy banker’s voice and utterance, that his partner laughed heartily.
“Does he ever give a dinner, Trover?” asked Stocmar.
“Oh yes, he gives one every quarter. Our graver clients, who would not venture to come up here, dine with him, and he treats them to sirloins and saddles, with Gordon’s sherry and a very fruity port, made especially, I believe, for men with good balances to their names.”
“I should like to be present at one of these festivals.” “You have no chance, Stocmar; he’d as soon think of inviting the corps de ballet to tea. I myself am never admitted to such celebrations.”
“What rogues these fellows are, Ludlow!” said Stocmar. “If you and I were to treat the world in this fashion, what would be said of us! The real humbugs of this life are the fellows that play the heavy parts.” And with this reflection, whose image was derived from his theatrical experiences, he arose, to take his coffee on the terrace.