SCENE III. – ANGÉLIQUE, VALÈRE, CATHAU
Ang. I assure you, sir, that you will oblige me very much by coming to see me sometimes: my husband is so ugly, so ill-behaved, and such a drunkard, that it is perfect martyrdom for me to be with him, and I ask you what pleasure one can have with such a clown as he is?
Val. You do me too much honour. I promise you I shall do my utmost to amuse you, and since you are kind enough to say that my company is not unpleasant, my care and attentions shall prove to you what pleasure this good news gives me.
Cat. Ay! quick, talk of something else; here's our old bugbear coming.
SCENE IV. – LE BARBOUILLÉ, VALÈRE, ANGÉLIQUE, CATHAU
Val. Mademoiselle,3 I am very sorry to bring you such bad news, but, you would have heard it from some one else, and since your brother is ill…
Ang. Ah! say no more, sir, I am your servant, and thank you very much for the trouble you have taken.
(Exit Valère.)
Bar. Well! what need is there of my having a certificate of my cuckledom from the notary? So! so! you trollop! I find you with a man in spite of all my remonstrances, and you want to send me from Gemini to Capricornus.
Ang. Are you going to scold me for that? This gentleman only just came to tell me of my brother's serious illness: why should you make that a subject of quarrel?
Cat. Ah, directly I saw him, I wondered if we should be long in peace.
Bar. You spoil one another, you women; you, Cathau, you corrupt my wife; she is not half as good now as she was before she had you to wait upon her.
Cat. Really you treat me in a nice manner.
Ang. Leave the drunkard alone; don't you see that he is so muddled that he does not even know what he says.
SCENE V. – GORGIBUS, VILLEBREQUIN, ANGÉLIQUE, CATHAU, LE BARBOUILLÉ
Gor. Now, there's my cursed son-in-law scolding my daughter again!
Vill. We must see what is the matter.
Gor. What! will you always be quarrelling! Will you never have peace at home?
Bar. This hussy calls me drunkard. (to Angélique) Here, I have a great mind to give you a good dressing4 before your relations.
Gor. May the dev … may his money be blessed, if you have done as he says.5
Ang. It is always he who begins to …
Cat. Cursed be the hour when you chose that sordid wretch!
SCENE VI. – GORGIBUS, VILLEBREQUIN, ANGÉLIQUE, CATHAU, LE BARBOUILLÉ, DOCTOR
Doc. Why, what is the meaning of this? what a disorder! what a quarrel! what a racket! what a row! what a noise! what a dispute! what a combustion! What is the matter, gentlemen? what is the matter? what is the matter? Come, come, is there no way of making you agree, let me be your pacificator; suffer me to bring peace among you.
Gor. It is my son-in-law and my daughter who have had words together.
Doc. But what can it be? Now, come, let me know the cause of their dispute.
Gor. Sir …
Doc. But in a few words …
Gor. Yes, yes; but put on your hat.
Doc. Hat; that is bonnet. Do you know what bonnet comes from?
Gor. No.
Doc. It comes from bonum est, it is good, a thing which is good, because it saves one from colds and coughs.
Gor. Indeed! I did not know that.
Doc. Now quick, the subject of your quarrel?
Gor. This is what happened.
Doc. I hope you are not a man to keep me long when I pray you not to do so. I have some pressing business which calls me to town; still, if I can bring peace to your family, I am willing to stop a moment.
Gor. I shall soon have done.
Doc. Be quick, then.
Gor. It will be said in a moment.
Doc. We must acknowledge, Mr. Gorgibus, that it is a wonderful gift to be able to say things in a few words, and that great talkers, instead of being heard, become often so wearisome that one cannot listen to them; virtutem primam esse puta compescere linguam. Yes, the best quality of an honest man is silence.
Gor. You must know then …
Doc. There are three things which Socrates used to recommend particularly to his disciples: to be careful of one's actions, to be sober in eating, and to say things in a few words. Begin, Mr. Gorgibus.