Simple Princess

“But you will be seen with me if you don’t get off your shoulder.”

“They won’t! As long as I sit on your shoulder I am invisible to others. And you can enjoy my wise counsel.”

“I already have one mentor.”

“Is it a stupid chaperone?”

“She’s smart. Don’t insult her!”

“You will be even smarter now.”

He whispered in her ear. His whisper was as hot as a dragon’s breath. Estella winced.

“Come, princess! With me you will be irresistible to court and invincible in war. Only listen to my advice!”

It’s a good thing Reason doesn’t have to be introduced as a tame monkey. No one really sees him.

There is some commotion among the courtiers. Reason has his black ears pricked up and listens.

“There will be no coronation!” He proclaimed. “This is no longer conjecture but fact.”

“Why should it be so?”

“War has been declared from Ravelin. The local king is convinced the girl must be removed from the throne.”

“Oh, he’s a scoundrel!” Estella clenched her fists.

“Don’t be so boisterous, mistress!” Reason cautioned. “You must behave yourself. Summon the army.”

“But Ravelin is the largest state north of us, famous for its torture chambers and dungeons.”

“And they are but men!” Mind clenched his black clawed fists. “And I…”

“Who are you?” said Estella, wary. “Aren’t you a non-human being? Oh, you mean a non-human mind?”

He chuckled softly, as if he were sprinkling ash around him.

“I am the mind of the wizard king’s daughter! I am above the human mind! You’ll see, with a mind like mine, no war is a serious threat to you!”

Magic in war

With Reason’s advice, raising an army was quick and easy. No one remembered that Ravelin was a mighty state. Everyone listened to the orders of a queen who had yet to be crowned. The coronation had to be postponed. War is out of order.

“I’m sure the scoundrel is plotting to take Aluar for himself by marrying the foolish heiress,” Reason snickered on the way. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? Even without winning the war, he may propose to you and settle the dispute. Don’t agree to marry him.”

“I wasn’t going to! I didn’t think he was single,” she rode the white horse, which twitched its ears uneasily and winced at the presence of the beast on her shoulder.

“Horses don’t like us,” Reason complained.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean smart creatures,” he twisted away, though he was about to say something else. “Don’t pull on the reins so hard and loosen the girth.”

He climbed off her shoulder and finished the job for the groom. The horse had nearly had a heart attack at the touch of his claws. She relented, though, and Reason quickly returned to Estella’s shoulder.

“Keep ahead of the group!” He pointed and urged. “You lead the march!”

Estella panicked from afar at the sight of the countless army of the enemies. A forest of helmeted heads stretched as far north as the distant mountains.

“We need a dragon to win now!”

“Why didn’t you say so before! One is just sitting in your dungeons.”

“I thought you were my advisor, not the other way around.”

The princess’s guards looked at each other worriedly, seeing her muttering to herself. Estella belatedly remembered that they couldn’t see Reason, so she shrugged it off:

“I’m praying before the fight! Don’t mind me!”

The excuse about prayers bailed her out of the most ridiculous situations. The guards even respected the faithful princess.

Reason put his clawed little fingers in his mouth and whistled. The warriors murmured. The sound was like an omen of impending disaster.

“If the dragon doesn’t wake up and get here within the hour, he doesn’t hold me in high esteem,” Reason grumbled. “Then I’ll have to give him a sterner draft. He’s been so sleepy. Not long ago he was working for your father as a living furnace, burning prisoners and spies in his jaws. As soon as your father grew old and sick, the dragon became lazy.”

“I knew nothing of the dragon.”

“But you felt it. You have dragon’s blood, too,” Reason gently touched her chest with his claws, jabbing at the brooch, but his paw did not bleed. It appeared to be invulnerable. Estella gasped. This monster was about to become her hero.

He had not promised to win the war soon, either, as it turned out, for nothing. He didn’t need a dragon for his revenge, either.

Reason hissed a whisper, and the marching tents of the enemy’s troops went up in flames like matchsticks.

She opened her mouth in amazement.

“Don’t pursue your lips, or a moth will pop into them,” said Reason, chuckling, claws clawing at her shoulder.

“Aren’t you babbling witchcraft words?” Estella panicked when she heard the ominous words in his whisper.

“Why should you care how we win the war?” He grumbled angrily.

“No, I don’t. It’s all about winning it!”

“Bite your tongue while I work! I am working hard to help you. And you call me a sorcerer!”

“I’m sorry!” Estella watched in horror as a black storm rose from the ground on the battlefield, as if triggered by Reason’s hiss. Where it passed, enemy warriors pounced to fight each other, as if they had become blind and could not distinguish friend from foe. And Reason claims he’s no warlock! She finds that hard to believe.

“Don’t worry, I won’t send my Reason away just because it’s witchcraft,” Estella tried to reassure him, but Reason wouldn’t hear her. He hissed strange, incomprehensible words that caused the ground between the two armies to open up, and the bony arms of the dead began to stick out.

Estella cried out in horror, and her horse sprang to a halt.

“Enough is enough!” Reason clicked its black claws. It made the ground between the Ravelin’s and the Aluar’s armies smooth again. And a moment ago there was a pit in it.

“Who were they?”

“What do you mean?” Reason didn’t understand.

“They came out of the ground.”

“They were the skeletons of warriors who had fallen in a former battle.”

“What old battle? We haven’t even started the first one yet.”

“Do you think this is the first time kings have fought on this field?”

“I don’t know,” Estella frowned.

The damage inflicted on someone else’s army forced King of Ravelin to negotiate.

“We haven’t raised the white flag yet, but we’d like to negotiate peacefully,” the counselor, who had approached Estella with the royal delegation, ingratiated. He seemed to think she was a witch, for he trembled shakily as he addressed her. She ought to tell him she hadn’t been conjuring, but she would have to denounce Reason in front of everyone. It would be indelicate.

“You are, of course, the daughter of the Wizard King, and his spirit is clearly protecting you,” the Counselor said curtly. “But, think, what is it like for a woman to rule alone? You need a lively protector in the form of a royal consort.”

“What did I tell you?” Reason clawed at Estella’s hair and pulled the strands tight. “Don’t dare to agree! Do you understand?”

She couldn’t even nod, so hard he tugged at her curls.

The King of Ravelin looked at her with admiration. He was an attractive young man, but the silver half-mask on his face frightened her away. It was the kind worn by victims of alchemical experiments who mutilated themselves. Knights are usually proud of their battle scars.

“A dragon burned me,” the King said, catching her gaze perplexed as he removed the mask. He hadn’t done so in a long time, it seemed, because his counselor gasped in astonishment. Estella didn’t like the sight of the poisonous burn, either. It crossed the king’s eye and cheek, disfiguring the attractive face.

“The dragon was small, the size of an elephant. Not the size for a dragon. But he broke into the palace to rob my treasury, and I got in his way.”

“And now you wish to replenish your treasury at the expense of mine?” Estella merely repeated the words Reason whispered, but the King of Ravelin blushed to his ears.

“I was only sure your father had cast a dragon upon me. Everyone knows he was, um, kin of dragons.”

“This is an insult to my entire dynasty!” Estella echoed Reason again, copying not only the words but the stern tone this time. Even her own knights were afraid of her.

“Forgive me, but there are rumors,” the king of Ravelin hesitated. He obviously felt insecure in the presence of the proud beauty. She contrary to the vicious gossip was also clever.

“Rumor and truth are different things!” Estella struggled to hold the reins of her horse, which was never accustomed to the presence of Reason.

“I assumed you, like many, wanted to make me a sort of marriage proposal, first defeating me in battle so that I would not refuse. You value your manhood so little that you think you can’t get a bride except by force?”

“Actually…” The king of Ravelin shrank back to hide his embarrassment. “You had such a reputation… Well… I wouldn’t dream of asking you to marry me.”

“Am I not beautiful?”

He was embarrassed.

“Or did hearing about how stupid I was make you reject me?”

“Are you stupid?!”

“More like cunning!“One of the advisors whispered. The king shushed them hastily.

“You are very wise, my lady. Let us solve the war by marriage.”

How quickly he changed his mind! But Reason did not let Estella decide for herself whether she wanted to marry or not. The answer it whispered, she repeated:

“No, then you will get my treasury, and what will I get? Is it the absence of sincere love?”

Reason reeled as the king began to swear to her the sincerity of his feelings.

“Tell him about the secret of the king’s treasury. He will understand. Whisper one word.”

“But it’s witchcraft,” Estella recoiled from Reason’s whisper, which burned her ear.

“And so what is it?”

“What if I whisper it myself and turn into a frog?”

“Would I give you a bad advice?” He took offense.

“Who knows?”

“Don’t be too smart! Remember I am your reason. Take my advice!”

The king was worried when he caught the princess muttering something to her. Perhaps he thought he had been too quick to deem her clever.

She leaned so that her lips were close to the king’s ear.

“Demonikum!” Obediently she whispered, repeating after Reason almost letter for letter. Probably not exactly accurate, but the word worked.

The king seemed frightened.

“Demonology of the Aluar’s treasures,” she obediently repeated after Reason. “The spirits are locked away! Hungry demons! Angry angels! The bestiary beside them! A devourer of gold in the treasury! All this waits at home!”

The king recoiled from her as if her breath burned his ear like a dragon’s.

Estella herself was frightened. She could not have had a dragon inside her.

“I was in a hurry to fight you. But if you wish to flee from Aluar, my marriage proposal still stands. Will you leave with me now?”

“How men are captivated by beauty!” Reason snorted. Estella almost repeated after him, but Reason’s claws hastily clamped her mouth shut.

“That’s not for other people’s ears!”

Then don’t say it! Estella was furious with him.

“Tell him they’ll break free and fly after you if you leave! And they will tear his kingdom to shreds, and they will ride on the wreckage with a coven.”

The words, prompted by Reason, were frightened as they would not be frightened of a dragon. By the way, the dragon he had summoned never showed up. But he was no longer needed. King Ravelin’s armies retreated like beaten dogs. They suffered casualties and surrendered. Thanks to Reason for everything. With such a counselor, there’s no need for a fighting dragon in war. It’s not without reason that they say the mind is the most important thing for a man. With intelligence will never be lost!

A dragon from the dungeons

The warriors had already fled, but the king was still reluctant to leave her side. He waited for her to decide in his favor. The thought of taking just one princess from an entire enchanted kingdom did not frighten him.

By the way, Reason on her shoulder was very nervous and unraveled his claws.

“Chase him away!” He insisted, squinting unkindly at the king.

“How is it?”

“I don’t care if you shoot him out of cannon!”

Easy to say, hard to do! The king of Ravelin was somehow convinced that Estella had to be rescued. He even said he’d be willing to take her without a kingdom, and leave the kingdom to the evil spirits who inhabited it.

“A bargain can be struck with the demons,” he explained, pointing to his own burnt face. “You just have to give them something, like a piece of your own skin, or a pint of blood, or in your case, your whole country. You are sweet to me even without a power. Come with me!”

He held out his hand in an expensive gauntlet. How thoughtful! Not long ago he wanted to take her kingdom from her, but he would never dream of marrying her. How the mind changes everything! Or is it beauty? The King said he liked her for both.”

Estella would have said yes, but Reason would not allow it. Reason was worth listening to. She’d learned by now that he never promised anything for nothing. He had indeed helped her in the war. It was dangerous to marry a foreign king without his approval. What if she is being lured into a trap? She must find the delicate words to refuse Again Reason bailed her out, whispering:

“Say your mother is the star fairy Arabellina. For the daughter of a fairy spouse with a physical defect is unacceptable, or else there will be misfortune for both kingdoms: yours and his.”

Estella stupidly repeated after Reason, whom the king did not see, and felt like a puppet, clawed by the strings. Reason clung to her like a tame monkey.

Hearing of the fairy mother’s obstacle, even the King of Ravelin chickened out and turned his horse away.

“So get out of here!” Reason spat fire on the ground. “Don’t go molesting someone else’s property!”

The fiery spit scorched the retreating marshals and the counselor. But they didn’t even dare complain.

“What’s the matter with you?” Estella yanked Reason by the tail. “We have won!”

“We will win when there are no one left in the world but only you and I,” he hissed, his tail around Estella’s neck.

Estella didn’t understand him. It was probably just another sorcerer’s formulation to keep her enemies from returning, but she would not repeat it.

As the enemy army retreated, Reason chuckled angrily for some reason.

The waking dragon appeared after the battle. It suddenly appeared in the sky above the battlefield, where only Estella’s knights remained. Its emerald scales gleamed with the lightest of shades, reflecting the sun’s rays. Its powerful wings raised a hurricane wind. Estella would have marveled at the sight of a real dragon had it not blasted indiscriminately at her own troops. This is what real war is like! Estella felt as if she were in a rain of fire. Not a cannon can compare to an attack by a dragon. Flames rained down from the sky, scorching the earth, the grass, and the people.

“He will burn all the knights! Call it off!”

“It is too late!” Grimly Reason reacted, but muttered another magic word, and the fire immediately ceased.

The dragon, which for some reason reeked not only of fire but also of beer, swooped down, clawed at a dozen warriors, and was gone. He glowed like the dawn and stole people like a fox stealing chickens from the henhouse.

“He didn’t care about goats, sheep, or knights. He might as well choke on his armor!” Reason hissed resentfully.

“But that would leave us without a protector.”

“Who needs a protector who will attack us!”

“Then why did you summon him?”

“I was a fool!”

“So the mind can be a little foolish?”

“It is very much in our case!” Reason was staring dejectedly at the dragon feeding on the knights on the high mountain near the scorched field. No one dared to shoot it. The damage he had done was ignored.

“Is he a drunkard, by any chance?”

“You figured that out all by yourself?”

“He stinks. Or is he just sleeping on beer kegs?”

“Is he just sleeping? He’ll even start to drink moonshine if you put a keg next to him. He started out with fine Aluar’s wine. He’s gone downhill.”

“But he flies high,” she traced the dragon’s flight with a rapt look.

“I mean his moral character. They’ve gone from bad to worse. I went down to his cellar once, and he tried to burn me. He didn’t recognize an old friend. But if I’d brought him some ale and pie, he’d have changed his mind. A glutton and a drinker! That’s what he is. And he’s lazy, too! Get him out of here!”

“He’s a real dragon.”

“So what is it?”

“I’ve always wanted to see a real dragon!”

“There are plenty of dragons! Only we got the worst one!”

“Well, not the worst…” Estella couldn’t take her eyes off the glittering scales, but the dragon ate his food and flew away too quickly.

“He’ll be asleep for another year,” Reason complained. “Oh, I used to think it was only the Princess who was defective, but now the dragon-keeper is defective, too. But you seem to be making amends. Well done for blowing off the king!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have! When he keeps his mask on, he’s handsome.”

“He’s a womanizer and a flatterer! With him you could cry!”

“But you could cry your whole life without him. He’s the first and only fiancé I’ve ever had to chase away. The others ran away.”

“That was before! Now you’ll have lots of suitors.”

“I don’t believe it! Surely this was my only chance for happiness. Fiancés aren’t for me.”

“You’ll have hundreds of them! Thousands! And I’ll deal with them all!” Reason snatched a stiletto from one of the knights beside him and sharpened his claws.

The dragon left deep parched pits in the field from which strange creatures, either dwarves or dwarf-like monsters, were crawling. They shook their skinny black fists in displeasure and protested against the dragon.

“Who were they?” Estella had never seen such bizarre creatures in her life.

“Boggles,” said Reason, sounding reluctant. “I can’t stand them, though they’re better than boogeys.”

“What’s the difference?”

“They’re just as bad, but they’re werewolves, too. They can turn into dogs and attack,” Reason clung to Estella. “Get a grip on your horse!”

One of the boggles, with its weird red hat, galloped right out beneath the horse’s hooves, and the horse bucked.

“Don’t you know how to use spurs?” Reason reprimanded me. “Spur the horse, and let him gallop faster.”

The horse calmed down as soon as the boggle ran past. The knights, who had not seen Reason, spotted the boggles and began to baptize.

“What warriors they are! They’ll run to the temple at the first sign of trouble and leave the Princess alone in the field,” Reason hissed in frustration.

“Aren’t you afraid of boggles? They’re miniature goblins!”

“You got that right. The dragon disturbed them. They would have been slumbering under the battlefield. The blood of fallen warriors fed them. Look how red their hats have turned. They become so red from the blood spilled above, and the boggles themselves sit beneath the soil and laugh at the fighting humans.”

Reason spotted tiny creatures, each no bigger than Estella’s little finger. They were moving in a flock away from one of the dragon-burned pits.

“Hold your horse here!” He commanded Estella.

“What’s that for?”

“Don’t ask! Do it!”

Estella obeyed. Reason jumped down, climbed into the hole, brazenly dispersed a flock of midgets, and came back with a whole pot of gold coins. He threw away the pot of clay and poured the gold into the saddlebag of Estella’s horse.

“Leprechauns always have something to eat!” He explained. “I’ll hide it in a hiding place under the throne.”

“What do we need so much gold for?”

“It is just in case there is a rainy day.”

“Are we so poor that we have to steal from the leprechauns?” She turned her attention to the flock of midgets waving their fists in anger at Reason. He left them nothing but shards of broken pot, and took all the coins for himself. “Shall we give them all back?”

“And what shall we do ourselves when times of famine come?”

“Don’t joke, the country is prospering!”

“That’s for now! With a kindness like yours, it wouldn’t take long for the kingdom to be wasted,” Reason began lecturing her again. You might as well cover your ears for him!

“Promise you’ll never steal again!” Estella asked.

“You’d better tell that to the dragon. He’s probably back in the dungeons, sleeping rough and snacking on guards.”

“So that’s where cellar guards often disappear to. The dragon eats them!”

“And tell him not to drink anymore!” Reason quipped. “If you take away his keg of beer, he’ll be so angry he’ll snack on you.”

“I don’t believe you. They say dragons adore princesses.”

“It doesn’t care if it eats a princess or a man in a chain mail. Take my word for it. When he’s drunk, he doesn’t know the difference. And he’s drunk all the time.”

“All right, all right, I believe you!” Estella spurred her horse, and thought to herself that she would meet her dragon again. She liked him very much. He was beautiful, graceful, scaly, like a huge flying emerald. And what a protector he would be if she were to wean him off his alcoholic beverages.

If Reason were to slander him from the vein, what kind of defender would he be? After all, if the dragon were obedient, with such a strong friend, the princess could rule without reason.